In like manner also let wives be subject to their husbands; so that even if any do not believe the word, they may without word be won through the behavior of their wives, observing reverently your chaste behavior. Let not theirs be the outward adornment of braiding the hair, or of wearing gold, or of putting on robes; but let it be the inner life of the heart, in the imperishableness of a quiet and gentle spirit, which is of great price in the sight of God. For in this manner in old times the holy women also who hoped in God adorned themelves, while being subject to their husbands. So Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. You are daughters of hers when you do what is right and fear no disturbance.
At the beginning of this passage we see that some women will be married to unbelievers, so if you are one of those, take heart. God was and is thinking of you and is giving you guidance in a difficult situation. Even if you married a Christian man, he could lose his faith, or he could be lukewarm and fail to take his family to church or be the spiritual head of the home. Perhaps he has lost his way through an addiction, or he suffers physical disabilities or a mental illness that make it more likely that he will fall short in his vocation as husband and father.
The way out--of what may seem unbearable and feel like hell--for the wife is not necessarily to divorce her husband (though of course in the case of abuse, women need to get to safety and seek help), but rather to offer her suffering up to God for the bestowal of grace upon her husband. There is purpose in suffering. We must unite our afflictions to those of Jesus on the cross and lay it all at his feet.
And as the Bible assures us, we may win our husbands to a conversion by our behavior, by imitating the holy women of old. If New Testament women were charged with being submissive to their husbands as Sara was to Abraham in the Old Testament, then surely this message is still relevant for us today; and we additionally have New Testament examples such as Mary, the Mother of Our Lord, to show us the way.
In some translations the word conversation is used instead of behavior, and I think that guarding our tongues is key to our husbands viewing us with reverence. Chastising our husbands never results in a good outcome, and often doing so escalates a potentially volatile situation, causing serious and even irreparable harm. If we cultivate that pearl of great price, a quiet and gentle spirit, we will please God, which is the ultimate point.
Sometimes when I'm angry with my husband, or feeling taken for granted and unappreciated, my spirit becomes rebellious. I want to go on strike as a wife and not do things for my husband, like his laundry. But then I tell myself that I'm doing it for Jesus, and that way I can do it with joy and not resentment.
Earlier this week I wanted my husband to do something for me, but he said no, not today. He had too many things that needed to be done, like paying the bills, and he needed my help with our home-based business. I was tempted to argue, and even reasoned with him that the task would only take a couple minutes. Again he said no, it would take longer than that, and by his tone I understood that my requiring his help even with something I thought would be simple, on this particular day would cause him stress. I remembered about being submissive, and I accepted his authority.
Submission has to become a habit if we women are to be happy in our marriages. Not only will it also make our husbands happy, it will be a sacrifice of immense value to God, and it will help to build up the whole Body of Christ, which is crumbling. What you do to help your husband get to Heaven with your authentic Christian femininity can lead him to be a better man, you to be a better woman, and repairs the Church in ways you may never know. But know without doubt that it does.
As far as how we dress and style our hair, I don't think this passage suggests that we literally don't wear braids. One sermon I heard online talked about how the pagan women of ancient Greece wore such elaborate braids that they looked like Medusa. So likely the message is to focus on our inward Beauty and keep our outward adornment modest and simple. In other words, don't try to look like the Kardashians, and don't act in worldly ways.
Husbands, in like manner dwell with your wives considerately, paying honor to the woman as to the weaker vessel, and as co-heir of the grace of life, that your prayers be not hindered.
It is fine for a wife to gently remind her husband of his duty to her, and how he is to treat her. However, we must not do it with rebuke, treating him like a naughty child. I think it's also interesting that being the weaker vessel is put forth as a reason to honor the woman. Feminism, conversely, teaches that women are no different than men (and transgenderism has followed as a logical conclusion!), and that we should be offended at the suggestion that we are the weaker sex in any way. Personally, I am relieved that I am designed to be weaker than my husband, and I admire his physical strength and applaud him for it!
It's clear as well that Christianity teaches that women are equal in dignity to men, equal children of God, made in his image and likeness. This was a radical view in those times. And that last admonition to husbands, that your prayers be not hindered, makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. A husband who fails in his duty to his wife and who does not love her in the proper manner (we will see that it is indeed sacrificial love he is called to in another passage) will not have his prayers heard or answered. God will turn a deaf ear to such a man. The wife's submissive, gentle spirit will help to safeguard her husband from damnation.
Women, allow your husbands to lead even if you don't think they do a stellar job at it. Allow them to provide for you and your children. Stop emasculating them with your harsh tongues and rebelliousness. Get out of their way and let them step up to the plate. Even if they fail, serve them as you would serve Jesus. We can find rest in our biblical womanhood, fearing no disturbance.
Additional Note:
Though divorce is strongly discouraged in the Catholic Church, allowance is made in canon law for physical separation, and even divorce, in certain cases. Future posts will explore the idea of mutual submission and the conditions under which it may be necessary for a husband and wife to separate for a period of time.