What to Do When the Laundry Is Caught Up | Taking Stock

I could see the light at the end of the laundry tunnel, so yesterday, after having a rare good night's sleep and feeling very energetic, I blew the laundry out, washing every last item. My theory has been that as long as I am behind on regular housework, like laundry and dishes, I can't in good conscience delve into other projects. Maybe this is a subconscious ploy of procrastination, even if logically sound. 

I had big dreams for today, no longer shackled by a mountain of unwashed garments and linens; but alas, I slept poorly and feel the sinus gunk bringing me down again. I think the brief snow we got tamped down the spring pollen, but then it melted. One possibility that we may not have considered during this coronavirus semi-quarantine is that maybe God wants us to rest. Maybe he wants us to pause, to reflect. Not only to muddle through, to bide our time until the crisis has passed, but to just plain stop whatever we've been doing and take stock. 

What do we most value but have habitually taken for granted? How many times, for instance, did I choose to stay home from church and not receive the Eucharist, and now am heartbroken to be deprived of Jesus' Real Presence in the way that only the Blessed Sacrament can provide? There were people I had planned to visit during Lent, like my great-aunts in nursing homes, and now I can't go see them. I look at my calendar and see future plans that will not come to pass. We all had looked forward to events that we assumed were unchangeable. The idea of not going to Mass on Easter Sunday, because there won't be one, seems like something out of the Twilight Zone. 

Now let's see where we're at on the FlyLady path. So far we have established a few things for our morning and evening routines. We shine our sinks and put out tomorrow's outfit in the evening, and go to bed at a decent hour, turning off screens an hour prior. In the morning we put away the clean dishes, start the laundry (one load per day at least, washed, dried, folded, and put away), and get dressed to shoes. At some point in the day we do a 15-minute, whole house (or main level) declutter. We set our timers to manage our time. I should note that Diane in Denmark admitted that she doesn't necessarily do everything in her routines every single day. It's okay to miss, say, a day of shining your sink, but try not to miss more than two, or you may fall out of the habit. But even if that happens, you just jump back in from wherever you are.

I'm only going to add one more thing at this time, and that is self-care. Every day we must take time, if only 15 minutes, for our personal well-being. My husband told me that for our mental health, the WHO has recommended that we only read about or watch news of COVID-19 for ten minutes, twice a day. Yes, it's important to stay current with the mandates and developments, but we must not immerse ourselves. We must not obsess. 

Today I didn't have the energy to take a shower, so I just soaked in the tub while I read a book and treated myself to a clarifying clay facial mask.  I read today's Mass readings and the meditation for this date in Simple Abundance. But I've been watching myself sneak onto the internet beyond the allowance of checking email that I had planned for Lent. 

Basically I only wanted to go online to use the library services, do whatever was necessary for homeschooling, to blog and to receive the communications from our homeschool co-op. Co-op is of course cancelled for the time being, so I don't even really need to check email very often. Following the coronavirus progress got me on YouTube, and it's so easy to fall back into old habits once we open the door. I felt I was being of service to post this blog to Facebook, though that was the main internet usage that I had intended to give up.

So I will share this post on FB, and then that will be it for the remainder of Lent, and likely for longer.  I've encouraged my friends to sign up for email notification of new blog articles. I will go back to strict avoidance of the internet. I'm sure my husband will keep me abreast of anything I need to know about the pandemic.  Things on the internet can surely be inspiring, but I believe increasingly that we are being guided to a new and better way of living, if only we will stop and listen.  There is no reason to go full speed ahead. I think I can use these bare bones of the FlyLady system to keep things humming along nicely, to have a solid framework for my days. If I can add more, great. If not, no big deal. 

We're experiencing the reality, right this moment, of what can happen to our best laid plans. There must be something more. 
A secret garden. A buried key.

FlyLady Toolbox | Using a Timer | 15 Minute Whole House Declutter

One of the best things I learned from FlyLady Diane in Denmark's  31 Baby Steps YouTube series was to religiously use a timer. This can be an oven timer, timer app on your phone, or a good, old-fashioned kitchen timer that dings when your set minutes are up. I've used a timer for completing projects in the past, but for whatever reason, Diane's way of doing it was most effective and convincing. 

The benefit to using a timer is that you are limiting the time you spend on any one task, making it more likely that you will not only make a start, but finish it. It will also keep you from wasting precious time doing things like surfing the internet. When you sit down to use your computer or phone for checking email, social media, the weather, etc., set that timer for 15 minutes. When it goes off, you stop, even if you are mid-sentence in a Facebook comment. 

This practice actually has Judeo-Christian roots. Think of the Old Testament book of Ecclesiastes, which teaches that there is a time for every purpose under Heaven. Imagine a monastic life of prayer, sleep, eating, work, and recreation, where one moves on to the next task when the bells ring, simply because it is time to do so. Especially during our current COVID-19 semi-quarantine, we can adopt a monastic mindset for our home life.

What I want you to add to your daily routine today is a 15-minute, whole house declutter. Now, I have a large home, and I primarily use this only for the downstairs. All you do is walk from room to room, throwing away trash, straightening the sofa covers and cushions, taking dishes from other rooms to the kitchen, and anything else that will put your home quickly back in order. 

Once you do this regularly, it will often not take the full 15 minutes. You can use the remaining time to wash up a few dishes, wipe crumbs off the counters, or make yourself a cup of tea! This is a good task for evening, so that in the morning you are facing a relatively clean house. But any time during the day works. 

Do not underestimate this tool for managing your time. If used diligently, you will find that setting a timer will quickly make a difference in accomplishing all of those tasks you've been procrastinating. More timer tips will follow, so stayed tuned! 

FlyLady Evening Routine | Work and School at Home | Getting the Discipline Act Together During COVID-19

homeschoolingacademy.com

Your spouse is home. Your kids are home. You are home. All day, every day. Welcome to my world! But even those of us used to homeschooling and working from home are struggling. It's the responsibility of each and every one of us to do everything we can to halt the spread of COVID-19. Yes, we are being called on to sacrifice, to be uncomfortable, to be inconvenienced, to do the thing we think we cannot do. It is Lent, after all, and Christians are actually expected to carry our crosses! We give up things at Lent in order to rely more upon Jesus, to have more time for prayer, for thinking of others over ourselves. This year it's Lent on steroids!

Those who are lucky enough to have jobs that allow them to work from home should be at home during this pandemic. Nonessential businesses and all schools should be closed. Everyone ought to be hunkering down at home, only going out for necessary food, medicine and personal items--as infrequently as possible. Sadly, the option even to go to church is closed for many right now.

Making these drastic life changes requires self-discipline. Those not old enough to discipline themselves need to be disciplined by their parents. Let's see this crisis as an opportunity to finally get our ducks in a row. As I've been writing about, establishing good habits and regular routines is mandatory for survival right now; and one indispensable key to maintaining good health is enough sleep, and sleep of good quality. 

Let us add our next FlyLady tool to the collection. Being home means that you can be a bit more flexible with your time, and the temptation might be to stay up later than usual. Previously, I had made my bedtime 11:00, and I was to have screens turned off and be in bed by 10:00. However, I've been staying up too late during these strange times. 

So for your evening routine, make sure you are going to bed at a decent hour. Turn off the screens an hour before bedtime. Also take your children's phones and other gadgets away at a certain time. It's miraculous how much better my teenage daughter does her school work and chores when she knows she won't get her ipod back until those priorities have been accomplished!  

Take your Sunday as the day of rest it is commanded by God to be, and then have your plan in place to start your week off right on Monday. Determine your children's school schedule. Create a plan with your spouse so that you both shoulder the burdens of childcare, homeschooling, and work. If you're a single parent, ask for whatever help you need. Write it all down. 

Remember that you are the adult. You are the parent. You are responsible for what happens in your home--no excuses. We all have our unique burdens and situations, but no one has it easy right now, and likely many people have it far worse than you do. Put first things first. Do the next right thing. Have faith.  

“You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.' You must do the thing you think you cannot do.”
--Eleanor Roosevelt 

Surviving Coronavirus at Home | FlyLady Dishes and Laundry | Building a Routine

colesfineflooring.com

No, this is not my laundry room. I wish! I do my laundry in the basement, and it isn't a pretty place. But while we are stuck inside during the COVID-19 crisis, this is the kind of thing we now have time to do--get our homes clean and in order! Three days ago I wrote that all we have to do this week is get back to FlyLady's top three tools, or begin them if you never have. But desperate times call for desperate measures, so let's put this program on the fast track. 

Hopefully you are now shining your sink and choosing your next day's outfit in the evenings, and dressing to shoes each morning. Shining the sink is the last step after you either put your dishes in the dishwasher or hand wash them. The first time you shine your sink, FlyLady recommends using bleach, and during this time of hyper health vigilance, that might be a good idea. However, I don't like to use toxic chemicals in my home. Breathing them in would only make my allergies, asthma, and chronic sinus condition worse, leaving my immune system more compromised. 

Instead, I use a solution of vinegar, Mrs. Meyer's dish soap, and water for a general household cleaner. Since the novel coronavirus, I've added tea tree oil for additional disinfecting benefits. I have a spray bottle for the upstairs, and one for the downstairs. After your initial disinfecting of the kitchen sink, you simply wash it down each night and wipe it dry, which gets rid of any bits left behind. To shining the sink, we'll now add putting away those clean dishes as part of our morning routine. While I heat up my kettle and prepare my coffee in the French press, I put the clean dishes away.

When you spend the majority of your time at home, you must develop routines. Once good habits are established, they help to carry us through the difficult times. Keeping up with the dishes is at the very top of household maintenance. The second task is laundry. Generally speaking, you want to do one load per day, washed, dried, and put away. If you can't do more than this without it accumulating in baskets, then don't. But many families are large enough that one load is not enough, and many of us are likely perpetually behind on laundry. 

To get caught up, bump it up to two loads per day. The children who are now home all day should be helping with all chores. I throw the first load into the washing machine as part of my morning routine, after putting away the dishes. Clothes are easiest to fold when they are still warm, so doing this as soon as you take them out of the dryer is best. You can do smaller loads so the task is not so overwhelming. Fill the machine only 3/4 full, and do not stuff your garments in. Think of it like measuring a cup of flour. You do not pack it.

Go ahead and start writing down your morning and evening routines. There are lots of videos on this on YouTube, but as I've said before, Diane in Denmark is your gal pal. She'll get you started with your control journal. The importance of keeping our hands and homes clean at this crazy moment in history cannot be over-emphasized. Come together at home as a team and actually take advantage of the opportunity that this crisis presents. This too shall pass. And all shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well...  (Blessed Julian of Norwich)

COVID-19 Survival at Home | FlyLady's Top Three

Well, here we are living the new normal, which literally changes every day. My great state of Ohio seems to be leading the way through this novel coronavirus pandemic, a.k.a, COVID-19. As Ohio goes, so goes the rest of the country, and this is true in many ways, not just in regard to political elections. A part of me, the me on days when the sun doesn't shine, had been thinking that no one wants a Pollyanna pep talk right now. And I agree with myself to some degree even when the sun is shining. But being a lifelong Ohioan, let's just assume that I have something of help to offer, the type of good common sense that this state is renowned for. 

What we need right now are basic survival tools, because lots of folks not used to working at home, or not working at all, and/or dealing with their kids doing school-at-home--quite possibly for the rest of the school year--are already feeling like they just can't. But the hard, cold truth is that we must, so suck it up, buttercup!

I had mastered the FlyLady Baby Steps that I wrote about previously, and nailed my daily routines. But I realized that I busted my behind all day just to get those things done, leaving no time for anything else. I hadn't even gotten to weekly cleaning schedules and the like. I felt satisfied that I had accomplished a great deal and had the tools on hand when I needed them, so I could just let up on checking off boxes and only do FlyLady when I wanted to. But it's very clear to me at this point that things are going to get very ugly very fast if I don't get back on the wagon. Time to sober up, sisters! 

I was right in that I still had too many items on my morning, afternoon, and evening routines, even after paring them all down. I am used to working from home and homeschooling. But things have gotten extreme and will get worse before they get better, so I'm taking a cue from the 12-Step programs and doing First Things First. I'm starting again with FlyLady's Top Three: 

1) Put out tomorrow's outfit tonight. Iron anything that needs it, and choose the entire ensemble, down to underwear, socks, and jewelry.

2) After dinner each night, get the dishes out of the sink and shine it. (Lots of videos and other online sources can explain to you about shining your sink.)

3) In the morning, get dressed to shoes. Your outfit is already ready! Do something with your hair and put on a little makeup, if you usually wear it.

Just start with that this week. We do not want to let ourselves go, staying in our bathrobes until 2:00 in the afternoon, thinking who cares, no one will see us. We will see us. Our families will see us. And we will feel like serious crap. Look presentable, and you will have more energy and get more done. It's all psychological, yes, but you will be more productive wearing a bra. You will be happier if you keep up with your dishes. It doesn't matter why this is true. Truth is Truth. 

I gave up Facebook for Lent, but I'm going to post my blog, because I think it's important. However, I will not be having conversations there. I will not be receiving any email notifications. I just want to be of service in my own small way. So comment here at the blog if you want to dialogue! We can do this. We have to. 

The Oppression of Things | FlyLady's 31 Baby Steps with Diane in Denmark

jennifergrace.com

I awoke in the night and this phrase came to mind: the oppression of things. We do not sleep well when we're feeling heavy. Perhaps I'm simply feeling burned out from all of my efforts to get my home in order. I'm seeing definite results. I'm seeing spaces clearing and clean surfaces, the formation of good habits and routines falling into place. But there is still so far to go, and I wonder if I'll be able to keep it up. I wonder, will it be worth it? Will the monumental change in my life come that is promised by all the decluttering gurus? 

In November I began the FlyLady system's 31 Baby Steps, following Diane in Denmark on YouTube. Diane has been a godsend. I had dabbled with FlyLady in the past and adopted some of the strategies, but it seemed too complicated and just didn't stick. Diane simplified it for me, and I finished the 31 Days on the last Sunday of Advent. Since then I've just been working on implementing the ideas learned in the Baby Steps, trying to resist the urge to go too far beyond that until I have the habits firmly established. Maybe it's time to scale back just a little, to rewrite my morning, afternoon, and evening routines to the bare minimum of items to accomplish. 

When I was a Mary Kay beauty consultant, I learned that Mary Kay would make a list of the six most important things she needed to do each day, and I found that habit to be helpful. Six is a manageable number and does not feel overwhelming. I think I'll scale back my three routines to just six items each. I'll reconsider what Diane in Denmark emphasized as especially important. I'll tweak the ideas to suit my individual household, personality, and values. 

It's time, once again, in this New Year and also new decade, to pull focus. Every kind of clutter results in the oppression of things. The physical things that we don't really want or need in our homes, the activities that drain us of energy and waste our time, the constant striving, the lack of clarity produced by a cluttered mind, a body cluttered with toxins and the wrong food, the weight of sin, even the clutter of experiences, which are supposed to be superior to stuff--all of this is heavy baggage that we no longer need to carry.

I suggest beginning with Diane in Denmark's approach to the Flylady's 31 Baby Steps. Watch only one video each day, and suspend your disbelief over whether shining your sink or dressing to shoes will really make a difference. Just jump in where you are and do it. Do NOT sign up for the emails at the FlyLady.net website, as you'll receive an overwhelming deluge. Here is the first video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=11_wvZoQPTc.

I'll keep you up to date on my progress, and you can keep me up with yours. Together we'll learn to let go.  

The Local Parish as Microcosm of the Church

Image from The Village Reporter, Montpelier, OH

A microcosm is a community, place, or situation regarded as encapsulating in miniature the characteristic qualities or features of something much larger. This is the relationship that I believe can exist between a local parish and the universal Catholic Church.

When I shared my distress with my husband a few months ago over the state of the Church and the ongoing revelations of the sex abuse scandal, I was a bit upset with him for not being of like mind with my angst. He hadn't been following any news at all since Donald Trump was elected President of the United States, and I felt like he was sticking his head in the sand. He said something about the "microcosm" of our parish church, how much he likes the people and enjoys the messages, etc., but I wasn't ready to consider his idea then. Now with my realization of having been "frog boiled" by the anti-Pope Francis posse, of having been sucked into the vortex of suspicion and elitism of ultra-traditionalists on social media, I'm totally on board with my husband's approach. 

This fall I joined the Rosary Altar Society, a women's group at our parish. Last evening we hosted our church's annual chili and soup supper for the community on voting day. My family had never attended this event. The food was amazing, and there was a spectacular turn out. I enjoyed being a part of serving our church and our town, bringing people together and nourishing them body and soul. I found the picture at the top of this post on the Internet, of some of our church ladies from the chili/soup supper a few years ago. 

Our parish is small but active, with a lot of young families and people of all ages, and a sister parish in a nearby town with which we share a priest. The Mass is the typical Ordinary Form, complete with Eucharistic ministers and altar servers that include females. Lay men and women serve as commentators and lectors as well. We have a wonderful choir and sing standard hymns. The architecture and decor of the church is humble but homey. It's the stuff the ultra-traditionalists, who believe the Tridentine (Latin) Mass is superior, regularly deride. 

My husband is a lector, our teenage daughter is an altar server, and this year, with the Rosary Altar Society, I've found a place to be of service as well. The people of our parish are kind, friendly, generous, and welcoming. Spirits are fed in this community. Our church evangelizes by providing a home for local Catholics to worship together, and we reach out in love and service to our neighbors. We are simple witnesses to Jesus. And in so being, we build up and heal the Body of Christ. We are a microcosm of what the Church truly is, despite the failures and shortcomings we sometimes see in the news. This is the way of hope. 

So if you are still reeling from all of the negativity that has been brewing during Francis' pontificate, which obscures the good work and powerful message of the Holy Father, the most profound way you can help the Church is to pray, pray, pray, and be a positive member of your local parish. My family's parish is blessed to have an amazing bishop who radiates joy and enthusiasm for the Catholic Faith, so do extend your participation to your larger diocese community if possible. Focus on the grace that you receive from the sacraments, and be deeply thankful if you live in a place where you can regularly receive them. 

Read Pope Francis' own words, rather than relying upon comments taken out of the context; and avoid the interpretations of the news media and self-appointed Catholic policemen of social media. This is a time to make your faith stronger through adversity. When you feel you are suffering, offer that up for the poor souls in purgatory or someone whose cross is heavier than your own. Be the microcosm of the communion of faithful saints.