It is only 7:39 p.m., and the sun is almost all the way down. The sky is a lovely violet-blue. I think I have been in denial about the end of summer all the way through September. But tomorrow October begins, and soon my favorite holiday, Halloween, will be upon us. Also, I have a bi-annual ritual that signals the end of my denial. Today I began putting my summer clothes away in their storage tub, where they will reside in the attic until spring. I had already begun to tuck Beezy's into a large bag as they came out of the wash. No sense putting them back into her dresser drawers! I am leaving a few things out for both of us in the event of some warmer days likely left, and I won't take everything to the attic until I have made sure there is nothing left in the laundry. This is also the time that I set items aside for the See and Do charity that I no longer want to own.
The most daunting thing about laundry is that one adds to it each and every day. Even with keeping up on my one load a day, it seems like the mountain in the basement will not cease to exist for a very, very, very long while. When there is too much rain, the basement floor gets wet, so I had to attend to wet laundry this morning. There is too much to fit into proper baskets, and besides, the baskets are usually full of clean clothes waiting to be put away! So most of it stays on the floor. I know, dreadful, awful, shameful situation...
I have misplaced Set 2 of Beezy's BOB readers, so for that reason, but primarily because I want to try something different, we are going to work through Dr. Christman's Learn to Read manual, borrowed from the library. We used it some last year. It seems to use a good method, and I like that there are lots of word lists as well as sentences. Beezy still needs a lot of practice sounding out words. Sometimes she labors over each word in a sentence, and other times she reads most of the sentence without sounding out words at all. I am hoping that by the end of Dr. Christman's book she can read real books, with good stories, something that qualifies as literature! While not as senseless as the Dick and Jane readers, the BOB books are still, by necessity I suppose, completely lacking in literary merit.
I imagine that Charlotte Mason would be horrified by modern books designed for children first learning to read. I am going to study her method in the 1st book of her six book series, Home Education, and find out exactly how I might proceed. Ms. Mason despised what she called "twaddle," which basically means a silly, dumbed down book lacking in literary value. But most children seem to need books with 3 to 4 letter phonetic words when beginning to read, with very few sight words. The BOB books are good considering the limitations. I am having Beezy read sentences I have written out in broken lines for her to copy, which she first traces and then writes out herself. I think this is a good way to reinforce reading, spelling, and sentence structure, as well as the fine motor skills of printing.
Tomorrow morning Bee has her last soccer game. It is getting chilly, and I will be glad to have it over with, though Beezy enjoys it and I love watching her play. It will be one less thing in our busy fall schedule. Busyness is one of our modern afflictions and has strangely become a badge of importance, producing martyrdom, over-scheduling, over-structuring, and the further alienation of people from having meaningful, satisfying contact with one another. But that is another topic for another day, and rest assured, I will explore it in depth!
Friday, September 30, 2011
Thursday, September 29, 2011
R.H. Series, Day 5
The sun is shining right now, but Beezy's soccer coach called to cancel practice this evening due to a big storm that is supposed to be coming. I guess I can just put my plants out to be watered! I am feeling very tired today, and I still have to teach my dance classes this evening. Maybe Bee and I can rest awhile and watch Tom and Jerry cartoons on video. I think the busy week, beginning with the death of Mittens, is catching up to me, so tomorrow we will take it easy, just do a little school before we go to the library. We have a weekly play date there on Fridays with some homeschooling friends. The truck comes in on Fridays with deliveries from other libraries in the system, so we go and pick up items we have ordered and visit with our friends.
Many of the materials we use for homeschooling come from the library, and it is free! Right now we are doing a unit study on ancient Egypt. Charlotte Mason believed in using living books rather than dry textbooks. Living books include classic literature and those written by a person who is passionate about his or her field, and that are preferably written in story form. We read three picture books recently that were excellent and depicted elements of life in ancient Egypt in this way. Temple Cat is told from the perspective of a cat who is worshiped in the temple, as cats were in those days, and how it just wanted to be a regular cat. The Egyptian Cinderella is based on the true story of a Greek slave girl who married an Egyptian pharaoh. And Seeker of Knowledge is the biography of Jean-Francois Champollion, who deciphered Egyptian hieroglyphs.
I found the titles of all these books from a Google list and ordered them from the library! Most of the books I find on such lists have been available through our library system. I got the idea to do this unit from the chapters on ancient Egypt in A Child's History of the World, which we bought used on Ebay. Using books from the library is obviously a much more sustainable practice than buying them new, and it really is not all that time consuming. Also, homeschooling parents qualify for a teacher card, which has the benefits of extended check out times and no late fees!
There were a couple of math workbook activities I had planned to do with Beezy today dealing with money, but on closer inspection, she will need some lessons to prepare her for them first. While the Charlotte Mason method does not use textbooks or workbooks, or at least uses them very sparingly, I have found the BrainQuest series to be very useful in putting things to be learned in a logical progression, so I will simply go back in the workbook and work up to the money section.
Today we did some phonics pages out of the BrainQuest book in which Beezy colored the pictures of words with particular short vowel sounds in them. She extended the activity by pulling color groups out of her box of 64 crayons. She would find all of the shades of blue, green, purple, and orange and was interested to know the names of each shade. So there we had an informal study of color and vocabulary!
I am progressing well with the laundry, but as far as the project of working on one room at a time goes, well, I think my house is actually messier than it was at the beginning of the week! So I am off to do the dishes that can't go in the dishwasher and throw in a load of laundry. One thing at a time, one day at a time, and easy does it!
Many of the materials we use for homeschooling come from the library, and it is free! Right now we are doing a unit study on ancient Egypt. Charlotte Mason believed in using living books rather than dry textbooks. Living books include classic literature and those written by a person who is passionate about his or her field, and that are preferably written in story form. We read three picture books recently that were excellent and depicted elements of life in ancient Egypt in this way. Temple Cat is told from the perspective of a cat who is worshiped in the temple, as cats were in those days, and how it just wanted to be a regular cat. The Egyptian Cinderella is based on the true story of a Greek slave girl who married an Egyptian pharaoh. And Seeker of Knowledge is the biography of Jean-Francois Champollion, who deciphered Egyptian hieroglyphs.
I found the titles of all these books from a Google list and ordered them from the library! Most of the books I find on such lists have been available through our library system. I got the idea to do this unit from the chapters on ancient Egypt in A Child's History of the World, which we bought used on Ebay. Using books from the library is obviously a much more sustainable practice than buying them new, and it really is not all that time consuming. Also, homeschooling parents qualify for a teacher card, which has the benefits of extended check out times and no late fees!
There were a couple of math workbook activities I had planned to do with Beezy today dealing with money, but on closer inspection, she will need some lessons to prepare her for them first. While the Charlotte Mason method does not use textbooks or workbooks, or at least uses them very sparingly, I have found the BrainQuest series to be very useful in putting things to be learned in a logical progression, so I will simply go back in the workbook and work up to the money section.
Today we did some phonics pages out of the BrainQuest book in which Beezy colored the pictures of words with particular short vowel sounds in them. She extended the activity by pulling color groups out of her box of 64 crayons. She would find all of the shades of blue, green, purple, and orange and was interested to know the names of each shade. So there we had an informal study of color and vocabulary!
I am progressing well with the laundry, but as far as the project of working on one room at a time goes, well, I think my house is actually messier than it was at the beginning of the week! So I am off to do the dishes that can't go in the dishwasher and throw in a load of laundry. One thing at a time, one day at a time, and easy does it!
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
R.H. Series, Day 4
Beezy just showed me copy work she decided to do from one of her BOB readers, all of her own volition! We had a homeschooling field trip to the Spangler Candy Company this morning, taking a trolley tour through the factory. Along the way were various video presentations showing the whole process of how the candy is made and packaged. I did not realize that the stripes on a candy cane are made by hand, not a machine! It is actually an art form requiring a great deal of skill. My grandmother, Veda DeWitt, worked at Spangler from 1955 to 1991, so it was especially meaningful to me to see where she worked all those years.
We did some school at home this afternoon. What I am finding with my new approach to doing a schedule for the whole week is that I can pick and choose from whichever activities fit in on a particular day. I don't necessarily have to do Wednesday's work on Wednesday. And if we don't get to a subject one day, we can pick it up the next. I realized too late that I had scheduled too much for today considering the field trip.
For the next few days, I think I will focus on curriculum. I know that many homeschooling families use a particular packaged curriculum, such as Sonlight. Since I only have one child and would not be able to pass it down to younger siblings, this seemed too cost prohibitive to me, especially since, so far, I have not found it to be at all necessary. This is partially thanks to my Montessori training and Montessori materials available to order from Ebay. But as equally influential is the English educator Charlotte Mason, whose method focuses on what she called "living books" and the process of narration. She also believed quite strongly in the necessity of great amounts of time spent outdoors and keeping nature journals.
I will write a little on Charlotte Mason each day and some of the ways that we incorporate her brilliant philosophy! I will not be posting on this Relaxed Homeschool Series on the weekends, but I may be inspired to write on other topics. If you do follow along, please sign up as a follower or leave a comment. It inspires me to know that my blog is being read!
We did some school at home this afternoon. What I am finding with my new approach to doing a schedule for the whole week is that I can pick and choose from whichever activities fit in on a particular day. I don't necessarily have to do Wednesday's work on Wednesday. And if we don't get to a subject one day, we can pick it up the next. I realized too late that I had scheduled too much for today considering the field trip.
For the next few days, I think I will focus on curriculum. I know that many homeschooling families use a particular packaged curriculum, such as Sonlight. Since I only have one child and would not be able to pass it down to younger siblings, this seemed too cost prohibitive to me, especially since, so far, I have not found it to be at all necessary. This is partially thanks to my Montessori training and Montessori materials available to order from Ebay. But as equally influential is the English educator Charlotte Mason, whose method focuses on what she called "living books" and the process of narration. She also believed quite strongly in the necessity of great amounts of time spent outdoors and keeping nature journals.
I will write a little on Charlotte Mason each day and some of the ways that we incorporate her brilliant philosophy! I will not be posting on this Relaxed Homeschool Series on the weekends, but I may be inspired to write on other topics. If you do follow along, please sign up as a follower or leave a comment. It inspires me to know that my blog is being read!
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
R.H. Series, Day 3
Still sad about the loss of Mittens on this rainy day. I lit a Lady of Guadalupe candle in honor of our kitten, with a couple of her toys at its base. I think we need more ceremonies and rituals to mark events in our lives, great and small. Beezy wants to stay in her pajamas, and that sounds good to me. We are going to read in bed for awhile. She initiated an activity for herself already this morning, arranging her magnetic ABCs in order on the refrigerator, singing the song out loud to figure out what comes next. Just the encouragement I needed!
Last night before going to bed, I made a list of the things I want to accomplish today. I used to do that regularly. In fact, before I bought a proper lesson plan book, I used scraps of paper from the recycling bin to write out a list of homeschooling activities each day. I got out of the habit of making a "To Do" list. It is satisfying to cross things off, and you don't have to try to keep it in your head. If you are like me, you are likely not to remember something important if you don't write it down! So I am reinstituting the list. It is a good idea to write out upcoming events, activities, projects, errands--anything you want to get done--for the whole week. I also keep a wall calendar and check it regularly.
Today I am catching up with laundry to get to the point of some semblance of control. From here on out I will do a load a day, including folding and putting away. It is not uncommon for me to have 3 baskets full of clean clothes sitting around for days! Dishes will be kept up daily (thank goodness for the dishwasher!). The plan then is to work on one room of the house at a time, including sweeping, dusting, and mopping as needed. Once the visible areas are finished, it will be on to the hidden areas--closets, drawers, cupboards, etc...
To stay sane, balanced, happy, and whole, I believe that every woman needs to have something just for her. I teach belly dancing classes and practice regularly at home. I was able to practice today while Beezy was playing with a neighbor friend. Some days I put in a video for her to watch, or have her do independent homeschool work. If her dad is home, he is in charge of her while I practice. This also gives me exercise! And I bought a Romantic Country magazine today to inspire me while I work on my house.
My intention is to practice Mindful Housekeeping. In some cultures, including our own, homemaking tasks are a sacred way of being in the moment, doing one thing at a time, with reverence. This attitude can transform drudgery into contentment. No multi-tasking! Beautifying one's home is an act of love. Make your home a sanctuary for you and all those who live in it! The key is in developing good habits. I have been in awe for many years of my friend Harriet. When we were single, for example, Harriet would make me dinner. Immediately after finishing, she would get up and wash all the dishes. Astonished, I asked her once, "Harriet, do you always do this?" She replied, "Well, I don't want to have to look at all this tomorrow." Harriet carried her habits on into marriage and motherhood. You can drop in on Harriet anytime, and her house will be clean and comfortable, though not white glove perfect. We must not be fanatical about this. People LIVE in their homes. That is the point.
So let us follow Harriet's Way together to a more satisfying style of living!!
Last night before going to bed, I made a list of the things I want to accomplish today. I used to do that regularly. In fact, before I bought a proper lesson plan book, I used scraps of paper from the recycling bin to write out a list of homeschooling activities each day. I got out of the habit of making a "To Do" list. It is satisfying to cross things off, and you don't have to try to keep it in your head. If you are like me, you are likely not to remember something important if you don't write it down! So I am reinstituting the list. It is a good idea to write out upcoming events, activities, projects, errands--anything you want to get done--for the whole week. I also keep a wall calendar and check it regularly.
Today I am catching up with laundry to get to the point of some semblance of control. From here on out I will do a load a day, including folding and putting away. It is not uncommon for me to have 3 baskets full of clean clothes sitting around for days! Dishes will be kept up daily (thank goodness for the dishwasher!). The plan then is to work on one room of the house at a time, including sweeping, dusting, and mopping as needed. Once the visible areas are finished, it will be on to the hidden areas--closets, drawers, cupboards, etc...
To stay sane, balanced, happy, and whole, I believe that every woman needs to have something just for her. I teach belly dancing classes and practice regularly at home. I was able to practice today while Beezy was playing with a neighbor friend. Some days I put in a video for her to watch, or have her do independent homeschool work. If her dad is home, he is in charge of her while I practice. This also gives me exercise! And I bought a Romantic Country magazine today to inspire me while I work on my house.
My intention is to practice Mindful Housekeeping. In some cultures, including our own, homemaking tasks are a sacred way of being in the moment, doing one thing at a time, with reverence. This attitude can transform drudgery into contentment. No multi-tasking! Beautifying one's home is an act of love. Make your home a sanctuary for you and all those who live in it! The key is in developing good habits. I have been in awe for many years of my friend Harriet. When we were single, for example, Harriet would make me dinner. Immediately after finishing, she would get up and wash all the dishes. Astonished, I asked her once, "Harriet, do you always do this?" She replied, "Well, I don't want to have to look at all this tomorrow." Harriet carried her habits on into marriage and motherhood. You can drop in on Harriet anytime, and her house will be clean and comfortable, though not white glove perfect. We must not be fanatical about this. People LIVE in their homes. That is the point.
So let us follow Harriet's Way together to a more satisfying style of living!!
Monday, September 26, 2011
Relaxed Homeschool Series, Day 2
A very sad day today. After Keystone Co-op, Beezy and I took a walk around the neighborhood to look for her missing kitten, Mittens. A sweet, fluffy striped kitten that we think was a girl, Mittens followed Beezy home while we were out walking our dog three or four weeks ago. She came off someone's porch, but no one was home, and there was no response to the note I left in the mailbox. So we happily adopted her, although I am allergic to cats. She had to live outside, with a nice bed in the garage. She was well-fed, loved, and flourishing, and she usually stayed in our yard or nearby. It was unusual, then, that we couldn't find her last night. Today we did find her on the curb across the street, having evidently been hit by a car.
I couldn't bear to go actually look, so I sent my husband. Beezy and I did not want to see her, so he wrapped her up and buried her in the yard. David read Psalm 23 and said a prayer, and Beezy topped the grave with a couple of rocks from her collection. I told her we would plant flowers to come up in the spring. I realize I am grieving for both myself and my child, as well as the kitten and her suffering. We did have a bright spot in the day. Thankfully, a friend offered David a surplus of Concord grapes, so we drove out to the country in Bryan. Beezy got to meet 3 goats, a horse, and two dogs and chased after some Guinea hens. The sun was shining, and it took our minds off the tragedy at least a little.
I did manage to change the sheets on the bed, but otherwise no housework got done, and we didn't do any homeschooling after co-op. But thank goodness for co-op! Two moms told me they liked my blog this morning, so that made me feel really good and gave me something to cheer me when I thought about it later today. So many blessings in every day. My neighbor, who is a great friend, and her 3 boys came over to play this evening, so I had her support at the end of this tearful day.
Adieu for now, and pleasant dreams to all. It is getting dark earlier, which makes it easier to wind the day down. Tomorrow is another day, as Scarlet O'Hara said. I am going to take this month-long project through the end of October. That gives me an extra week, leaving room for days like today, when life happens despite our best plans. Good-bye, sweet Mittens!
I couldn't bear to go actually look, so I sent my husband. Beezy and I did not want to see her, so he wrapped her up and buried her in the yard. David read Psalm 23 and said a prayer, and Beezy topped the grave with a couple of rocks from her collection. I told her we would plant flowers to come up in the spring. I realize I am grieving for both myself and my child, as well as the kitten and her suffering. We did have a bright spot in the day. Thankfully, a friend offered David a surplus of Concord grapes, so we drove out to the country in Bryan. Beezy got to meet 3 goats, a horse, and two dogs and chased after some Guinea hens. The sun was shining, and it took our minds off the tragedy at least a little.
I did manage to change the sheets on the bed, but otherwise no housework got done, and we didn't do any homeschooling after co-op. But thank goodness for co-op! Two moms told me they liked my blog this morning, so that made me feel really good and gave me something to cheer me when I thought about it later today. So many blessings in every day. My neighbor, who is a great friend, and her 3 boys came over to play this evening, so I had her support at the end of this tearful day.
Adieu for now, and pleasant dreams to all. It is getting dark earlier, which makes it easier to wind the day down. Tomorrow is another day, as Scarlet O'Hara said. I am going to take this month-long project through the end of October. That gives me an extra week, leaving room for days like today, when life happens despite our best plans. Good-bye, sweet Mittens!
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Relaxed Homeschool (R.H.) Series, Day 1
http://www.mhea.com/features/unschool.htm
The above link is another good article on relaxed homeschooling and how it differs from unschooling. For the next month, I am going to endeavor to post every day on the topic of relaxed homeschooling (R.H.) in my home, hoping that by being accountable to my readers, I will accomplish some of the goals I am setting for myself! It may seem counterintuitive, but structure, order, and organization are crucial to homeschooling in a relaxed manner. To this end, I have already made a change.
I have a teacher's lesson plan book for planning out each week, with the following categories at the top:
Language Arts; Reading/Spelling; Literature/Poetry; Calendar/Seasons; History/Culture; Fine Arts/Movement; Math/Practical Life; Natural Science/Geography. Typically I make my plan day by day, so I can base what I am focusing on each day on the previous day's activities. For example, if I notice when Beezy is reading that she is having trouble distinguishing between letter "d" and letter "b", the next day I might do a three period lesson (Montessori Method) using shaving cream to focus on those letters and words that contain them.
Today I decided to try something new. It is Sunday, and I have the entire week planned out so that tomorrow after co-op we can do what is on the schedule, and each day I can immediately proceed with the lesson plans without having to stop and figure out what to do next. I have most of the boxes filled in under each category, leaving a few empty for spontaneous activities. The key to being relaxed is that the schedule is not written in stone. It can be modified as needed. We may do more or less than planned each day. At the end of the week I will evaluate whether I have planned too much, not enough, or just about the right amount of work.
Mary Hood's article referred often to having a flow to the day, regular routines and ways of doing things. We begin our homeschooling day with a Melissa and Doug magnetic calendar. We sing a song called "Days of the Week" and fill in the number for each day, reviewing the date, including the name of the day, the month, the year, and the season. There are magnets to mark special things about the day, such as a holiday, a party, or a soccer game.
What I want to do is keep the formal learning, or "school" time, to no more than 2 hours each day over the next month. I want to begin a nature journal and spend more time outside, going hiking, drawing pictures about what we see, collecting leaves, etc... I also want to get my house in better order. For the next two weeks we will work on the things we can see, and for the two weeks after that we will work on the hidden places--the dreaded closets, drawers, and inside the refrigerator! By the end of a month the whole house will be clean and organized! And Beezy will be part of the whole process. Laundry is one of my worst tasks to keep up, so I will do a load each day, including folding the clothes and putting them away!
I'm going to begin by putting away some of our summer clothes and getting the cold weather clothes out and washed. It is not relaxing to not be able to easily get dressed in the morning! Then I can evaluate what we need and plan a trip to Goodwill and wherever else we can get the necessary items. I have a feeling Beezy is about to outgrow her shoes...
So stay tuned, and day by day I will alert you to my progress, or lack of it, or whatever interesting events unfold each day. After all, John Lennon was very wise when he sang, "Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans."
The above link is another good article on relaxed homeschooling and how it differs from unschooling. For the next month, I am going to endeavor to post every day on the topic of relaxed homeschooling (R.H.) in my home, hoping that by being accountable to my readers, I will accomplish some of the goals I am setting for myself! It may seem counterintuitive, but structure, order, and organization are crucial to homeschooling in a relaxed manner. To this end, I have already made a change.
I have a teacher's lesson plan book for planning out each week, with the following categories at the top:
Language Arts; Reading/Spelling; Literature/Poetry; Calendar/Seasons; History/Culture; Fine Arts/Movement; Math/Practical Life; Natural Science/Geography. Typically I make my plan day by day, so I can base what I am focusing on each day on the previous day's activities. For example, if I notice when Beezy is reading that she is having trouble distinguishing between letter "d" and letter "b", the next day I might do a three period lesson (Montessori Method) using shaving cream to focus on those letters and words that contain them.
Today I decided to try something new. It is Sunday, and I have the entire week planned out so that tomorrow after co-op we can do what is on the schedule, and each day I can immediately proceed with the lesson plans without having to stop and figure out what to do next. I have most of the boxes filled in under each category, leaving a few empty for spontaneous activities. The key to being relaxed is that the schedule is not written in stone. It can be modified as needed. We may do more or less than planned each day. At the end of the week I will evaluate whether I have planned too much, not enough, or just about the right amount of work.
Mary Hood's article referred often to having a flow to the day, regular routines and ways of doing things. We begin our homeschooling day with a Melissa and Doug magnetic calendar. We sing a song called "Days of the Week" and fill in the number for each day, reviewing the date, including the name of the day, the month, the year, and the season. There are magnets to mark special things about the day, such as a holiday, a party, or a soccer game.
What I want to do is keep the formal learning, or "school" time, to no more than 2 hours each day over the next month. I want to begin a nature journal and spend more time outside, going hiking, drawing pictures about what we see, collecting leaves, etc... I also want to get my house in better order. For the next two weeks we will work on the things we can see, and for the two weeks after that we will work on the hidden places--the dreaded closets, drawers, and inside the refrigerator! By the end of a month the whole house will be clean and organized! And Beezy will be part of the whole process. Laundry is one of my worst tasks to keep up, so I will do a load each day, including folding the clothes and putting them away!
I'm going to begin by putting away some of our summer clothes and getting the cold weather clothes out and washed. It is not relaxing to not be able to easily get dressed in the morning! Then I can evaluate what we need and plan a trip to Goodwill and wherever else we can get the necessary items. I have a feeling Beezy is about to outgrow her shoes...
So stay tuned, and day by day I will alert you to my progress, or lack of it, or whatever interesting events unfold each day. After all, John Lennon was very wise when he sang, "Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans."
Friday, September 23, 2011
Relaxed Homeschooling
http://www.homeeducator.com/familytimes/articles/11-4article8.htm
The link above is an article by Mary Hood about the relaxed homeschooling style. I'm sure there are other related articles online to give you a better idea of what the definition of relaxed homeschooling is. For this post I will simply share some thoughts, ideas, and experiences to reflect my goal of becoming a more relaxed homeschooling mother. For it seems that to have a relaxed learning atmosphere, the parent who is teaching must herself be relaxed!
Although I was not homeschooled myself, my own mother's parenting style gives me a good foundation to the approach. I am the oldest of six kids, and we are all highly creative people. Some of this may be inherited, but surely my mother's high tolerance for creative endeavors was instrumental. Once when I was an adult visiting my parents, and my youngest brother was still little, I was astonished to find that Mom had allowed him to nail holes in a wall in the dining room to make a tent! She said that he asked her first, and she was planning to paint that wall anyway, so she thought it was a fine idea.
When I was a kid, Mom made us sleds out of cardboard boxes. When a TV movie called "The Apple Dumpling Gang" was on TV, she made us apple dumplings to eat while we watched it! For a grade school project, she created Handsel and Gretel dolls out of wooden spoons. We could play anywhere in the house, we could be noisy, and she didn't complain about us making messes while creating anything that I can remember. We were allowed to just be kids. Back in those days, I remember walking to and from school when we lived in town in Bryan. I imagined all sorts of things along the way, such as that a bee from my yard was following along with me. I don't remember ever having homework until the 6th grade, and we certainly didn't have government mandated, standarized tests in elementary school. Things were different then. I don't recall feeling stress or pressure at school at all until the 4th grade.
I sometimes get impatient and frustrated as a homeschooling mother. The pressure I put on myself comes from things people have said or just generalized fears that my child might not be at "grade level" in a particular area. This is not a relaxed frame of mind, obviously. I don't want my daughter to feel any stress or pressure about learning, only joy.
When I get wound too tight, I know it is time to back off. So yesterday I took Beezy and our dog to the Rosary Garden next to the Catholic Church. On the way walking there, she said, "I love this day!" After we had been there awhile and she had gotten some of her energy out she said, "This is peaceful." She discovered that red berries growing in the garden have sticky juice inside. She spread it on a leaf to make a "leaf band-aid." We brought toys for the dog, and Beezy played with her. She collected acorns. We spied on a stealthy squirrel. She became a "nature girl" who turned the garden into another world. I read a book to her, but it was difficult to hold her attention because she just wanted to play! I was still hanging on to the pressure to get a "lesson" done, forgetting that the entire experience was learning.
A couple of weeks ago a kitten followed Beezy home from a dog walk, and we have since adopted her as an outdoor pet. She has a bed in the garage, and we bought her food and toys. I have been more relaxed about when we start the formal time of "school" to allow Beezy to be outside on the gorgeous Indian summer days and let her take care of and play with the kitten. This too is education. That doesn't mean we have neglected our studies, but rather that this informal time with the cat has its own importance and does not have to be less of a priority than, say, doing addition problems.
A story about another homeschooling family who practices the unschooling method also helped me put things in perspective. One of the kids was not interested in learning to read until age 11, so his mother did not teach him! But in 6 months he was on target for his grade level, and now at 13 is an avid reader. I don't think I could be quite that relaxed, but that story does encourage me to trust the process. Preserving the too brief experiences of childhood is crucial, those days of profound wonder and fascination with the world, so I endeavor to emulate my mother's own great example and relax!!
The link above is an article by Mary Hood about the relaxed homeschooling style. I'm sure there are other related articles online to give you a better idea of what the definition of relaxed homeschooling is. For this post I will simply share some thoughts, ideas, and experiences to reflect my goal of becoming a more relaxed homeschooling mother. For it seems that to have a relaxed learning atmosphere, the parent who is teaching must herself be relaxed!
Although I was not homeschooled myself, my own mother's parenting style gives me a good foundation to the approach. I am the oldest of six kids, and we are all highly creative people. Some of this may be inherited, but surely my mother's high tolerance for creative endeavors was instrumental. Once when I was an adult visiting my parents, and my youngest brother was still little, I was astonished to find that Mom had allowed him to nail holes in a wall in the dining room to make a tent! She said that he asked her first, and she was planning to paint that wall anyway, so she thought it was a fine idea.
When I was a kid, Mom made us sleds out of cardboard boxes. When a TV movie called "The Apple Dumpling Gang" was on TV, she made us apple dumplings to eat while we watched it! For a grade school project, she created Handsel and Gretel dolls out of wooden spoons. We could play anywhere in the house, we could be noisy, and she didn't complain about us making messes while creating anything that I can remember. We were allowed to just be kids. Back in those days, I remember walking to and from school when we lived in town in Bryan. I imagined all sorts of things along the way, such as that a bee from my yard was following along with me. I don't remember ever having homework until the 6th grade, and we certainly didn't have government mandated, standarized tests in elementary school. Things were different then. I don't recall feeling stress or pressure at school at all until the 4th grade.
I sometimes get impatient and frustrated as a homeschooling mother. The pressure I put on myself comes from things people have said or just generalized fears that my child might not be at "grade level" in a particular area. This is not a relaxed frame of mind, obviously. I don't want my daughter to feel any stress or pressure about learning, only joy.
When I get wound too tight, I know it is time to back off. So yesterday I took Beezy and our dog to the Rosary Garden next to the Catholic Church. On the way walking there, she said, "I love this day!" After we had been there awhile and she had gotten some of her energy out she said, "This is peaceful." She discovered that red berries growing in the garden have sticky juice inside. She spread it on a leaf to make a "leaf band-aid." We brought toys for the dog, and Beezy played with her. She collected acorns. We spied on a stealthy squirrel. She became a "nature girl" who turned the garden into another world. I read a book to her, but it was difficult to hold her attention because she just wanted to play! I was still hanging on to the pressure to get a "lesson" done, forgetting that the entire experience was learning.
A couple of weeks ago a kitten followed Beezy home from a dog walk, and we have since adopted her as an outdoor pet. She has a bed in the garage, and we bought her food and toys. I have been more relaxed about when we start the formal time of "school" to allow Beezy to be outside on the gorgeous Indian summer days and let her take care of and play with the kitten. This too is education. That doesn't mean we have neglected our studies, but rather that this informal time with the cat has its own importance and does not have to be less of a priority than, say, doing addition problems.
A story about another homeschooling family who practices the unschooling method also helped me put things in perspective. One of the kids was not interested in learning to read until age 11, so his mother did not teach him! But in 6 months he was on target for his grade level, and now at 13 is an avid reader. I don't think I could be quite that relaxed, but that story does encourage me to trust the process. Preserving the too brief experiences of childhood is crucial, those days of profound wonder and fascination with the world, so I endeavor to emulate my mother's own great example and relax!!
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Homeschooling: Dealing with Doubters, Part 3 (Trusting the Process)
The best way to deal with people who express doubt in the wisdom of your choice to homeschool is to provide yourself with spiritual fortification. Many of the tools I have acquired in this respect come from the 12 Steps and slogans of Al-Anon, a support group for family and friends of alcoholics. I recommend the daily readers, One Day at a Time in Al-Anon, Courage to Change, and Hope for Today to anyone who needs spiritual encouragement. And of course the well-known "Serenity Prayer" applies in any situation:
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can, and
Wisdom to know the difference.
Much serenity comes down to acceptance. You may just have to accept another person's lack of acceptance of your lifestyle choices. However, you do NOT have to accept unacceptable behavior. This is where learning to draw boundaries comes in. You don't actually owe anyone an explanation. You are not obligated to engage in arguments. It has been unacceptable to me for other people to tell me how to educate or discipline my child, what diet I should be feeding her, how long I should breastfeed, where I should live, how many children I should have, or when she should be potty trained. Each person must decide what for her is acceptable and what is not.
On the other side of the equation, it is none of your business what anyone thinks of you! Isn't that liberating? If it isn't any of your business, then you don't have to do anything about it or worry about it. Easier said than done. When you are struggling with a particular feeling or experience, you can look in the index of one of those Al-Anon daily readers and find the page numbers for topics such as doubt, acceptance, boundaries, self-esteem, serenity, detachment, keeping the focus on yourself, and so on.
Much time and emotional energy can be wasted worrying about what someone said or what you think they are thinking about you. Releasing your need to control, or change, what another person thinks or feels will unload an enormous burden. You are not responsible for other people's thoughts, feelings, or reactions!
Naturally, this letting go and letting God is hardest to do with those in our lives with whom we are closest. For example, a pattern with certain family members attacking me and criticizing my child via email had developed, and their comments amounted to unacceptable behavior for me. Problems were brought out after they occurred and were not dealt with in person, and then not being aware of anything being wrong, I would receive these hurtful email messages. I contributed to the problem by responding with anger and hurt feelings and allowing the arguments to escalate, and nothing was ever resolved in a positive way. My well being was seriously threatened, and I even became physically ill. Finally, a light bulb went on, and my husband helped me change my email address, and no one in my family has it now. This is an example of changing the things you can.
Ultimately, I had to figure out my part of the problem. You can't be responsible for another person's part. You can only keep your side of the street clean. What it came down to was that I had to let go of my need for other people's approval. The very nature of some of my relationships had to change, and yours may as well. For example, sometimes parents behave as if they still have authority over their grown children. In such a case, you may choose to no longer accept such a parent-child paradigm and instead learn to be your own authority, in line with the will of God. This takes amazing courage. How might you change the nature of inappropriate relationship circumstances?
If someone wants to pursue an argument, possible ways to end it are to simply say, "I understand that's how you feel," or "You may be right," and change the subject. If you are on the phone, just say you aren't able to talk anymore, say good-bye and hang up. This isn't to imply that you should avoid a conversation or conflict that is really necessary to deal with. But in many cases trying to defend yourself only gives credibility to someone who is way out of line in the first place. Express yourself simply and concisely, and let go of the other person's response. Practice detachment, or removing yourself emotionally from another person's toxic stuff.
Even if the other person refuses to change his or her attitudes or behaviors, if you change your own, the relationship will have to change, and you can find healing. Keep the focus on yourself and your own family, and if self-doubt creeps in, talk to another homeschooling parent. I am amazed at how prevalent the interference of parents is in the lives of their adult children. So break your isolation and realize you are not alone, by far.
I entered adulthood having been intensely affected by what was diagnosed as alcoholism in a younger sibling. This had a profound effect on my love relationships, causing co-dependency and my tendency to take care of others and try to "save" them. I had a happy childhood until my teen years when these issues occurred. As a young adult, I was dysfunctional financially and had difficulty keeping an orderly home. I worked at jobs below my level of education, skills, intelligence, and creativity. I was never paid what I was worth, and I did not manage the money I did make very well, being prone to bouncing checks and being charged late fees on credit cards. I was one of those people who guiltily dodged the telephone calls of debt collectors and secretly felt bad about myself.
My Bachelor degree in English sometimes helped but didn't serve me well enough financially, and at age 30 I found myself working as a nanny. Realizing I needed a career path with a future, I enrolled at The Spa School through the Ohio State Schools of Cosmetology and earned my license as an esthetician. I had a job at a prominent day spa before I graduated, and for the first time in my life I made enough money to comfortably support myself, even more than I needed. I enjoyed my work and paid off all my debts, and today I have an excellent credit rating! But when I was given this job and knew how much I could expect to be paid, I wondered whether I deserved it. I doubted my worth.
What does this have to do with homeschooling? I can tell you that at the age of 12, I was a bright, capable, confident, fearless person. I was strong and wise beyond my years. And then something happened. I betrayed myself. People betrayed me. For years as an adult I searched for my lost Self. I diluted my personality to try to make others happy. That 6th grade girl had not doubted herself.
So if you wonder whether you are doing the right thing by homeschooling, ask yourself if you got what you needed at home and at school to prepare you for the adult world, whether you were able to function well in the most basic ways--to balance a checkbook, cook yourself healthy meals, change the tire on a car, maintain stable relationships, manage your household, respect yourself. This is not to blame anyone, but to reflect on your life and what worked and what didn't. If, like me, the answer is no, determine to provide a better preparation for your child via the lifestyle choice of homeschooling, if that is what works for your family. You will need no other purpose, and there will be no room for doubt.
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can, and
Wisdom to know the difference.
Much serenity comes down to acceptance. You may just have to accept another person's lack of acceptance of your lifestyle choices. However, you do NOT have to accept unacceptable behavior. This is where learning to draw boundaries comes in. You don't actually owe anyone an explanation. You are not obligated to engage in arguments. It has been unacceptable to me for other people to tell me how to educate or discipline my child, what diet I should be feeding her, how long I should breastfeed, where I should live, how many children I should have, or when she should be potty trained. Each person must decide what for her is acceptable and what is not.
On the other side of the equation, it is none of your business what anyone thinks of you! Isn't that liberating? If it isn't any of your business, then you don't have to do anything about it or worry about it. Easier said than done. When you are struggling with a particular feeling or experience, you can look in the index of one of those Al-Anon daily readers and find the page numbers for topics such as doubt, acceptance, boundaries, self-esteem, serenity, detachment, keeping the focus on yourself, and so on.
Much time and emotional energy can be wasted worrying about what someone said or what you think they are thinking about you. Releasing your need to control, or change, what another person thinks or feels will unload an enormous burden. You are not responsible for other people's thoughts, feelings, or reactions!
Naturally, this letting go and letting God is hardest to do with those in our lives with whom we are closest. For example, a pattern with certain family members attacking me and criticizing my child via email had developed, and their comments amounted to unacceptable behavior for me. Problems were brought out after they occurred and were not dealt with in person, and then not being aware of anything being wrong, I would receive these hurtful email messages. I contributed to the problem by responding with anger and hurt feelings and allowing the arguments to escalate, and nothing was ever resolved in a positive way. My well being was seriously threatened, and I even became physically ill. Finally, a light bulb went on, and my husband helped me change my email address, and no one in my family has it now. This is an example of changing the things you can.
Ultimately, I had to figure out my part of the problem. You can't be responsible for another person's part. You can only keep your side of the street clean. What it came down to was that I had to let go of my need for other people's approval. The very nature of some of my relationships had to change, and yours may as well. For example, sometimes parents behave as if they still have authority over their grown children. In such a case, you may choose to no longer accept such a parent-child paradigm and instead learn to be your own authority, in line with the will of God. This takes amazing courage. How might you change the nature of inappropriate relationship circumstances?
If someone wants to pursue an argument, possible ways to end it are to simply say, "I understand that's how you feel," or "You may be right," and change the subject. If you are on the phone, just say you aren't able to talk anymore, say good-bye and hang up. This isn't to imply that you should avoid a conversation or conflict that is really necessary to deal with. But in many cases trying to defend yourself only gives credibility to someone who is way out of line in the first place. Express yourself simply and concisely, and let go of the other person's response. Practice detachment, or removing yourself emotionally from another person's toxic stuff.
Even if the other person refuses to change his or her attitudes or behaviors, if you change your own, the relationship will have to change, and you can find healing. Keep the focus on yourself and your own family, and if self-doubt creeps in, talk to another homeschooling parent. I am amazed at how prevalent the interference of parents is in the lives of their adult children. So break your isolation and realize you are not alone, by far.
I entered adulthood having been intensely affected by what was diagnosed as alcoholism in a younger sibling. This had a profound effect on my love relationships, causing co-dependency and my tendency to take care of others and try to "save" them. I had a happy childhood until my teen years when these issues occurred. As a young adult, I was dysfunctional financially and had difficulty keeping an orderly home. I worked at jobs below my level of education, skills, intelligence, and creativity. I was never paid what I was worth, and I did not manage the money I did make very well, being prone to bouncing checks and being charged late fees on credit cards. I was one of those people who guiltily dodged the telephone calls of debt collectors and secretly felt bad about myself.
My Bachelor degree in English sometimes helped but didn't serve me well enough financially, and at age 30 I found myself working as a nanny. Realizing I needed a career path with a future, I enrolled at The Spa School through the Ohio State Schools of Cosmetology and earned my license as an esthetician. I had a job at a prominent day spa before I graduated, and for the first time in my life I made enough money to comfortably support myself, even more than I needed. I enjoyed my work and paid off all my debts, and today I have an excellent credit rating! But when I was given this job and knew how much I could expect to be paid, I wondered whether I deserved it. I doubted my worth.
What does this have to do with homeschooling? I can tell you that at the age of 12, I was a bright, capable, confident, fearless person. I was strong and wise beyond my years. And then something happened. I betrayed myself. People betrayed me. For years as an adult I searched for my lost Self. I diluted my personality to try to make others happy. That 6th grade girl had not doubted herself.
So if you wonder whether you are doing the right thing by homeschooling, ask yourself if you got what you needed at home and at school to prepare you for the adult world, whether you were able to function well in the most basic ways--to balance a checkbook, cook yourself healthy meals, change the tire on a car, maintain stable relationships, manage your household, respect yourself. This is not to blame anyone, but to reflect on your life and what worked and what didn't. If, like me, the answer is no, determine to provide a better preparation for your child via the lifestyle choice of homeschooling, if that is what works for your family. You will need no other purpose, and there will be no room for doubt.
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Fall Belly Dance Classes
Fall Belly Dance Schedule—Bryan, OH
Learn to belly dance with Rita Helena, Directress of the Parvana Moonfire Dance Collective. This art form and feminine way to exercise enhances the grace, beauty, body image, and rhythm of women of all ages and body types. The focus of classes this fall is on the Egyptian style, particularly the Baladi, known as the mother of belly dance. Students should wear a scarf or belt tied around the hips and comfortable clothing that is not too loose. You may dance barefoot, in socks, or in ballet slippers. Ages 15 and up. Classes are held at the Community Center on Buffalo Rd., upstairs. Please call the Parks and Recreation Department at 419-633-6030 to pre-register. Pre-payment is highly recommended to reserve your space, as classes fill up quickly, and will ensure that the instructor has enough students to run the class and that the limit of 15 is not exceeded. Please have your payment in via the mail or drop it off at the Parks and Recreation office by Monday, Sept. 12. Classes will run for 5 weeks on Thursdays, and the cost is $40.
Basic Belly Dance—This class is open to both new and continuing students and will provide a solid foundation in posture, isolations, and basic steps, putting it all together in a series of combinations. History, theory, music, and costuming will also be covered.
Thursdays, 6:00-7:00 p.m. – begins September 15
Technique Intensive—This class is open to students with at least 3 prior sessions of experience. Solo technique as well as a unique form of group improvisation will be explored, including playing the zills and using the veil, as well as an in depth emphasis on responding to the music, personal styling, theory, and creative use of combinations.
Thursdays, 7:10 to 8:10 – begins September 15
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