A Modified Homeschooling Fleur de Lis

 

Our homeschooling approval letter arrived today. The superintendent is always very prompt; I only turned in my paper work on Monday! This means that the evaluation by a certified teacher was completed and my curriculum outline finished. Not only that, but aside from what we will borrow from the library, I have all of the books we will use for the upcoming school year organized into a basket and an antique egg crate. These are next to our shelves of games and other fun, educational activities. A freshly dusted and tidied set of shelves, I might add! If you remember reading it, or in case you didn't, Order on the Homestead was one of the upper petals of my original "little way of homeschooling" fleur de lis. The center petal was Catholic Faith Formation, and the other was Charlotte Mason/Open Source Learning. The base segments represented Jesus, Mary, and Joseph.

Now that I have had time to delve deeply into studying unschooling, and have determined that many of the positive points are also found in Montessori and CM, I think I will modify the format. Catholic Faith Formation will actually be at the foundation, tying everything together, with the members of the Holy Family still in their places. The Faith is central to our lives, home (domestic church), and educational efforts. It should guide and permeate the methods (petals) used above the base. Since I am now calling our homeschooling philosophy Catholic Natural Learning, the upper domain of the fleur de lis will be Montessori, Charlotte Mason, and Unschooling. These are all natural methods. Order is intrinsic to Montessori's philosophy, while CM is strong on good habit formation. There is then no need for a separate category of "order on the homestead".

While unschooling's benefits are basically included in the other two methods, the emphasis on joyful living; partnering with children in learning; treating children respectfully and as equal people; acknowledging that the child is the primary agent in his or her learning; balancing the needs of all family members; and passionately pursuing interests has been such a good influence on me that I want to keep these principles in the forefront of my mind.

One more very important point to mention. Maria Montessori, Charlotte Mason, and John Holt were all brilliant educational reformers, and each cared deeply for children. However, none of these was ever a parent but Maria, who was not instrumental in raising her son, Mario. As carefully and mindfully as they observed children, none of them were ever homeschoolers. They were all classroom teachers, though after leaving teaching, Holt spent much time with families in their own homes. As much inspiration as we may glean from these folks, our own experience and intuition trumps any scholarly advice or modern educational guru. We know our children best. We know best what they need to learn and thrive as human beings. And if we aren't sure, no one cares more about finding out than we do. So trust in God, and trust yourselves!

I do not believe that the full burden of education and decision-making, or even the greater part of it, should ever rest on children. As they age and mature, certainly they can handle ever-increasing autonomy. Gradually. The gentle authority of parents should be exercised. Consistency is important. Peaceful borders (limits) are necessary. These elements create security for children and are part and parcel of the parental vocation. In fact, I would say that they are all quite... natural. 

Lush.

Summer is still feeling a bit uncertain, it seems. Our public pool opened today, and though it was only 68 degrees and had been raining on and off, Beezy was really excited, so bravely we went! She slid down the tornado water side twice, and that was it. It was just too chilly for her to swim. I knew going in that this was likely to happen, but rather than arguing about the weather, I allowed my child to find out for herself why such days do not make for excellent pool days. I told her afterward that it costs $2 to get in, and that while I didn't want her to feel bad about it, next time we come she needs to be in the water. So if she thinks it might not be warm enough, it would be best to make a different choice. A great lesson learned, and wonderful practice for me of the ideas gleaned from unschooling!

Just as with the slow start to spring this year, my yard tells me what season it is (although summer has not officially begun), regardless of the weather. Summer flowers are blooming and everything is filling in with green. Enjoy these lush, visual delights!!

 coleus, begonias, and geraniums

I plant these urns with some of the soil left over from last year, compost from our pile, and a little topsoil to cover.

iris

Everything's coming up roses...

hollyhock

poppies

Catholic Natural Learning

Having established that I could be a radical unschooler, I have decided that this is not the best fit for my family. I have learned so much from all of the reading, talking, writing, praying, and even sometimes obsessing (who, me?) about unschooling since February. I do believe that the Spirit is leading me toward a gentler approach to parenting and homeschooling. Mostly, I think I am being called to more fully engage life. To follow passions and make relationships a top priority. To avoid doing things because I should. To experience more joy.

Those things of which I have written about unschooling that resonate with me are the same ideas that attracted me to Montessori and Charlotte Mason. Many adults that I personally know are disrespectful toward children. I am guilty too, and this is the biggest thing that I want to change. Following my natural rhythms, and giving my child the opportunity to discover hers--this is important. But freedom without limits is nonsense.

The Virgin Mary is my role model exemplar as a wife, mother, and disciple of Jesus. With her guidance, intercession, blessings, grace, and protection, I cannot fail. She knows best the will of Jesus for my life. Jesus and Mary know what is best for my family, and I have no doubt that the Holy Spirit has and will continue to light my way.

All along I have defined Catholic unschooling as a uniting of the Faith, life, and learning into a seamless whole. How that is accomplished will be unique to each family. The concern I have is that "unschooling" is the negation of school. It is "not school". That doesn't give me something solid to embrace. If unschoolers are living as if school does not exist, why use the word school in the description at all? Life learning, natural learning, and organic learning are some examples of a worldview similar to unschooling, but without the baggage. Without the rigidity of "thou shall nots".

So I am taking a break from books and internet searches on the subject of unschooling. I have done my studying, and it is time to get back to making the Catholic faith the center of day-to-day living. I think I'll ditch coffee while I'm at it. Unschooling has given me the permission to free myself and my family from unnecessary shackles. Jesus said, "For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." I owe unschooling a debt of gratitude, for it led me to my "little way of the fleur de lis".  My home is a domestic church, and our educational lifestyle is Catholic Natural Learning.

Choices.

I was recently visiting with a close friend who has been a public school teacher for many years, working with 7th and 8th graders in language arts. The comment she heard most often from her students about her class was how very much they appreciated the choices she gave them. They chose their own books and writing topics, and believe it or not, she actually gave them regular time in class for silent reading! She even expressed to me that she wishes more parents would do unschooling (life learning) activities with their kids, as the burden of education seems to rest almost exclusively with school teachers.

This brings to mind a strange day in my high school geography class. Our teacher was asking questions to which we students did not have answers. Suddenly he punched the chalk board. If we had been dozing, we woke up then! "It's not your fault," he said dramatically. "Your parents should have taught you these things." How much time do parents of school children have to teach them anything? My friend seemed to think that the school day is not really that long. Yet if kids get on a bus at 7:30 a.m. and do not come home until 3:30 p.m, that is 40 hours a week away from home. Add after school activities such as sports and clubs, and then add a couple hours of homework a night.

Kids are tired. I remember many an evening that I slept right through dinner, woke up to eat by myself and do my homework, figured out what to wear the next day, and went to bed. Today kids have many more distractions in the way of TV, computer use, and video games. The school system, combined with these modern diversions, separates family members from one another and impedes meaningful connections. The peer group at school becomes dominant over relationships with parents and siblings, neighbors, and extended family.

My teacher friend's students loved having real choices. This gave them the opportunity to make their own decisions.  It gave them the impression that they were people whose opinions and preferences mattered.  I remember telling my mom that my 5th grade teacher addressed the students as "people," rather than calling us "children" or "kids." That small gesture signaled respect. That teacher also read to us out loud on a regular basis, even though we could read by ourselves. I loved this teacher. With all the pressure today put on teachers and students in preparing for standardized testing, many teachers cannot find a way to personalize education or encourage individuality, critical thinking, and creativity. Reading out loud to students would seem superfluous.

The world is full of never ending choices. Children need practice in making them. The problem I see is that the goal of school is supposed to be preparing young people for the "real world", as if they have not yet begun to really live.  We become accustomed to always thinking that life will begin only after some educational goal is accomplished, and this continues on to after I get this new job, after I get married, after I lose the weight...The list goes on, the years go by, and life happens, whether or not we fully engage it.  How about if children just live and learn in the real world in the first place? 

A Child Draws Her Own Boundaries

This evening Beezy was playing on the porch with her new kitten, who is still very tiny.  A group of much younger children were out for a walk with their mother, and of course they were very interested in this pet!  But Beezy told me she wanted the kids to go, and she locked the screen door.  I knew she was feeling protective and overwhelmed by all the little hands wanting to touch the kitty.  I know this because I know her, but I asked her about it later, and she confirmed my intuition.  I didn't judge her reaction or her need to do what she saw fit to solve the problem at hand.  I understood and acknowledged the disappointment of the other children to their mother, but I didn't feel the need to fix anyone's feelings, not my daughter's, or the other children's, or the other adult's.  I simply observed.

Beezy set her own boundaries, met her own needs.  If she had asked me for additional help, of course I would have stepped in.  Later when we had come in from outside, she immediately wanted to go back out and do more chalk drawing.  I said, "If you need to draw some more, then do so!"  It was such a good feeling in both these instances to experience radical unschooling principles at work, to witness my own growth, and to be amazed.

Unschooling Principles

"The principles of unschooling are that humans are born learners. That children will learn best when given the freedom to learn what, when and how they want.

That doesn't, of course, tell anyone what to do. Principles are what help us decide which choices support our philosophy and which choices run counter to it.

Some people hear the unschooling principles and see them as limiting, as preventing them from doing what they feel is best or want to do and equate that with being closed-minded. But we all have guiding principles that limit our choices to the choices that we feel are right. If we didn't have principles it would be okay to shoot our neighbor for running his table saw at 6AM on Saturdays! But we voluntarily limit our choices of solutions to that problem because we recognize that some of them violate our principles. (Or values or ethics or philosophy or get in the way of our goals in life.)"   --from the blog, Joyfully Rejoicing

 making "grass angels"

It looks like anything you might want to know about unschooling, and any question you might have, is covered at Joyfully Rejoicing. I recommend just looking at a few tidbits at a time and letting the unschooling philosophy slowly sink in.  The above explanation was an "aha" moment for me.  I was indeed feeling that some unschoolers are closed-minded and not thinking for themselves, just parroting someone else's ideas about unschooling. They seem rigid rather than joyful, refusing to continue going deeper, which defeats the whole point.

Dayna Martin actually covers this in her Radical Unschooling book as part of the journey in understanding the process. Some people may get stuck in that rigid spot and get discouraged, even give up on the whole idea. And unfortunately their policing may adversely affect others.  Dayna commented on the Whole Life Unschooling Facebook group that there is no such thing as "fully RU".  We are always on the journey, and it will look different for every family.

Radical unschoolers live by principles rather than rules, but there will likely be specific rules which naturally follow from one's principles. The principle of respect for one's environment as well as considerations of safety lead to a "no running in the house" rule in my home.  The extension of unschooling principles in education to all other areas of life means respecting the wants, needs, and personhood of children within each family's individual principles. Gentleness is an overriding goal. We don't want to be constantly questioning whether every little thing we say and do is "RU" (Radical Unschooling). That would not be authentic parenting.

If I say that we are Catholic unschoolers in my family, that means that the Faith not only permeates educational considerations, but that it informs every area of life. And it means that our Catholicism is radical, or "from the root".  We can be radical unschoolers, because this means that we follow unschooling principles within the peaceful borders (my designation for limits or boundaries) of our Faith.  It could even be argued that the moniker "radical" is redundant, because it is already implied by the label of Catholic unschooling. In fact, catholic literally means "universal".  Our definition of Truth and Freedom may be different from other radical unschoolers, but the point is living joyfully and in respectful partnership with our children according to our Truth, not someone else's.  It means living in Freedom by our own lights, shining within the brighter light of Christ.

Organic Learning FB Group Invitation

I have created a new Facebook group called Organic Learning. This is an extension of the topics discussed here at Organic Mothering, with a focus on gentle, natural homeschooling and parenting styles, and respect for parents, children, and the environment. Organic learning goes in tandem with and is a natural result of attachment parenting. I do not endorse anarchy or a "freedom without limits" mentality, either for adults or children. Please read the description and join the group if you are interested. I want Organic Learning to be a safe place for anyone who wants to learn more, to share ideas and experiences, and to ask questions. People of all faiths and spiritual beliefs are welcome. You do not have to be a homeschooler to join. I just ask that all comments be respectful. Hope to see you there!