When You Have Lost Yourself | How to Find Your Way Home

I just got a new keyboard for my Kindle HD 10, so I can write again! But since I last wrote a post, Blogger has changed its format, and I can't say I like it. I'm not fond of Facebook's new look, either. I suppose I will get used to these things, but I'm tired. I'm exhausted from fighting against the insidious agenda of "the new normal." I can barely keep my eyes open to prevent becoming one of the pod people I see all around me. 

I'm not usually a person opposed to change. For example, I generally welcome the change in seasons, and my favorite, fall, is upon us. Yet I am craving more than anything a sense of the familiar, the normal things we once could count on. As much as I try to just live my life as I wish, I can't block out the stark reality of a world gone helter skelter. How can you hope to hold onto your identity when so many around you have lost theirs, to the point of living in a country that has almost entirely forgotten from whence it came to be? 

I suppose the first thing is a radical acceptance of what is. We have to accept what we cannot change before moving to change the things we can. The children have had to go back to school wearing masks. In my town, the school system has gone beyond even Emperor DeWine's mandates, forcing the kids to wear masks during gym and recess, and denying them the 5-minute break they are supposed to get. Communities are not willing to fight back against government tyranny, even for the sake of their children. Those who do oppose the party line are told to shut up, to not make things any harder than they already are. I fully accept that this satanic inversion of what is held sacred is really happening, and I accept the challenge of the battle, despite feeling I have no energy for it.

I admit to being deeply disappointed in people for being weak, for being lemmings, for running off the cliff obediently, doing as they are told. For being so gullible as to believe all that has been destroyed was for the common good, for the sake of public health. I've come to accept that people are not as smart as I had given them credit for. They are not as good, as kind, as sensible, or as faithful as they ought to be. Having consciously acknowledged my disillusionment, I must accept the truth of the way things really are, the existence of evils that are no longer even a little hidden, but in fact, are embraced by so many. I accept that I am disappointed in myself as well. Then there is the hard work of detachment from it all, which mysteriously includes holding on to a state of compassion for myself and others.  

I have not lost hope. There are still plenty of fighters, a remnant of the righteous and the brave. But if you are among them, you must come out of the shadows. Take off the masks, all of them, and come back into the light. Find yourself again in the One who truly knows you. Let me know you are out there, and that you haven't given up. 

I'm tired of pressing the reset button, of feeling like I have to start all over again, as if I have made no progress at all. But sometimes, when we seem to have come back to the same place, we have actually traveled further up the spiral. Having come around again, we have picked up new tools and information; we have indeed gained wisdom. We are brought back to a place that still has weeds to pull, yet the clearing has widened and room has been made for fresh things, for Beauty, for a deeper, more expansive dimension of existence.

I think that fairy tales have had such staying power generation after generation, because we can all relate to feeling lost, abandoned, and hunted by witches. We should not need to be reminded that we are sons and daughters of the King, but for whatever reason, we do forget. It's time to remember. It's time to wake up from the dreamspell and claim your place at the throne.