Tuesday, March 23, 2021

To Strengthen and Exercise the Will

 


This is the students' motto of a Charlotte Mason education, and today I am focusing on the fourth everyday duty of Achieving Peace of Heart, to strengthen and exercise my will (decision and constancy).  If you have missed the discussion so far, it begins with the Feb. 15 post.

When I was younger I was interested in yoga. I remember reading a piece of advice on the subject, which was to just show up on the mat. Whether the practice of yoga is fitting for Christians or not is a matter of hot debate, and it is not today's topic. The point is that when it comes to the way of the will, the first step is to just show up. 

Some days, I feel anxiety first thing upon waking, and I don't even want to get out of bed. I might then grab my rosary and just show up to prayer. Or I might hear the dogs wanting to go out, so I show up for that small duty. As the morning goes on, I show up in the kitchen to make coffee and put away the clean dishes. I show up to put in the first load of laundry. I have my breakfast and show up to read the Scriptures for the daily Mass. 

Every time I fight acedia to show up to do the next right thing, I am exercising my will. When I make the decision to cook dinner for my family, to write out my daughter's homeschool assignments, even to simply take a shower and get dressed, I can claim a little victory. In these days of agitation and uncertainty, sometimes I forget that I am a daughter of God; I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me; I ought to do my duty to God, to myself, and to others; and I will choose the right. 

When I neglect my duties and struggle to maintain my routines, I feel my peace slipping away. I feel guilty, which modern society insists is taboo. Should is a four-letter word. And anyway, what is the purpose of it all?? The truth is, there is good guilt and bad guilt, and we need to heed our conscience. This is impossible to do without Silence. So I do my best to find Silence first, then balance times of prayer, work, study, and rest. Curiously, there is no true leisure without the tending to responsibility, and there is no space for creativity without structure. 

The beauty of it all is that we can always begin again, each day, in each moment. If your conscience convicts you, take ownership of your failure and forgive yourself. Clinging to the guilt is the bad part. Just show up to accomplish those four, everyday duties with joy and trust in the Lord, and your purpose will be revealed. 


Monday, March 15, 2021

Goose (an original poem)

I am a goose shot 

straight out of the air,

strung together by the neck 

with others shot for sport--

Misery always has company,

like it or not. 

Thursday, March 11, 2021

The Misguided Sheep | Far from the Madding Crowd

 


My husband and I recently watched the 2015 movie version of Far from the Madding Crowd, based on the Thomas Hardy novel. Carey Mulligan stars as the fiesty, independent heroine, Bathsheba Everdene, with Matthias Schoenaerts playing one of three men vying for her affections, shepherd Gabriel Oak. 

Curiously perhaps, today's Mass readings from the Douay-Rheims Bible reminded me of a scene from this movie. For he is the Lord our God: and we are the people of his pasture and the sheep of his hand (Psalm 95: 7) He that is not with me is against me; and he that gathereth not with me, scattereth (Luke 11: 23). 




Farmer Oak is training a new sheep dog to replace his beloved, aging dog, Old George. The younger dog is named Young George. One night, for reasons unknown, Young George jumps into the sheeps' pen, disturbing them to the point that they break free. The renegade pup drives them into a frantic run. Gabriel awakens to the commotion, and by the time he catches up to the flock, he watches in horror as every single sheep plunges over the side of a cliff. The sight of the dead flock on the ocean shore below is chilling. You can guess what happens to Young George. 

Something akin to this is happening in today's society, as we continue to be goaded into a frenzy and feel ourselves falling without a net. Maybe the most disturbing aspect of the coronavirus cult response by government leaders, medical "experts," and much of the population is the "fear porn," as it has been called by some of its opponents. Mainstream news media and big tech social media have conspired with the cult leaders to keep people disempowered, silenced, and terrified. The only break from the maddening narrative we've gotten over the past year has been the Marxist revolt of the Black Lives Matter and Antifa organizations, which have delivered their own brand of fear porn while taking attention away from the Covid Theater. 

The likes of Dr. Fauci, emperor-like state governors and city mayors, some members of the police force, the Marxist groups, and the hard left media have become society's shepherds, and clear marks of their misguided sheep are the citizens complying with mask mandates and lockdowns. The sheep at the bottom of the cliff are those driven to suicide, drug and alcohol abuse, domestic violence, and poverty, among the many victims of the coronacult fallout. 

Others, mostly traditional Christians it seems, have found a new fervor of faith, and we have our gaze fixed firmly on our eternal Shepherd, Jesus Christ our Lord. All of the false leaders are truly idols that many have chosen to follow, out of fear, out of lack of faith and the action that it requires. They reject the Way, the Truth, and the Life for a story of despair and bondage. The path of a holy freedom is too narrow, so they enter at the wide gate and refuse to consider turning back. The consequence is an existence frought with anxiety, a loss of one's sense of self, an isolation we were not created to endure. It is nothing short of the crushing of the spirit, the piercing of the soul.

The question is, are you gathering or scattering?  The choice is actually simple, though not easy, and comes down to a daily decision to act either with Faith or in fear. Bathsheba Everdene reacted for a long time out of fear of losing her independence, so she refused to marry. That is, until she inexplicably made an impetuous decision to surrender to the wrong man. Her heart led her astray, as can anyone's. It seems to take forever for our heroine to turn to the shepherd who has always been there for her, who continuously watches over her, waiting with extreme patience for Bathsheba to finally come to her senses. 




This brings me to the third of the everyday duties from Achieving Peace of Heart that I've been exploring and discussing this Lent: to elevate and control my heart (love of God and neighbor).  As Jesus commands that we love our neighbors as ourselves, we must first love God with the entirely of heart, mind, soul, and strength before we will be oriented in the right direction. Putting one's faith in the world's idols puts the whole flock in danger. A heart lifted to God and obedient to his sovereignty puts all other considerations into perspective. 

Recently, "medical" advice was given to parents that if a child was exposed to Covid, he should be isolated in a room by himself for two weeks, with no hugs or any closeness with family members, eating meals alone and doing everything completely by himself. If he were to venture into the hallway to use the restroom, he must be wearing a mask. I can only imagine the emotional scars a child would suffer under such conditions, yet some people think this kind of approach falls under the dictate of common sense. In reality, it's a call to heartlessness. These are the extremes that being in compliance to the absurd has led us to, and if such totalitarianism continues to be allowed, we will see far worse in the future. 

It's imperative that we recognize the evil and stop listening to the barking of orders that has caused this coronacult stampede and its ultimate perilous jump into collective mayhem and madness.  Be the one sheep that is found.