Do a Small Version of the Big Dreams

"In the deep silence, wisdom begins to sing her unending, sunlit, inexpressible song: the private song she speaks to the solitary soul."     --Thomas Merton


Fall is my favorite season, despite the misery of allergies that comes with it. I am fortunate to live in a part of the country to which others travel to behold the glory of changing leaves. I can simply step out onto one of my porches and soak in the colors and special slant of sun. Wearing my bathrobe and slippers, I start my day breathing the fresh, crisp air, listening to birds, contemplating a tall flower with delicate blue blossoms whose name I do not know.

Perhaps you'd like to spend more time in Nature. That is a goal of many people, and as with other things that we wish we had more time or ability to do, we tend to think in such grand terms that we eliminate the possibility before we even begin. 

What I'm considering now is how to do a small version of the big dreams. The nature of one's aspirations will differ for each person, but many seem to have a list in their minds of things about their life that they would like to change. We dream of a lifestyle that only appears to be available in magazines, movies, and television, or the online versions of such media. 

What if we started with a small version of our grand designs? Taking spending time in Nature as an example, rather than think that you need to buy a camper and drive across the country to Yellowstone, find a state park nearby and hike the trails or go horseback riding. Put out a bird feeder and bath in your own backyard. Take a country ride with your family and buy pumpkins from a roadside stand. 

By making small efforts that aren't overwhelming, you will develop a habit of spending more time outdoors, and maybe you will eventually buy that home in the country or travel to an exotic locale known for its scenic beauty. Or maybe not. Maybe what your soul craves is the simple solace of interacting on a daily basis with the natural world. 

Often what I really desire when I'm feeling restless is not a geographic relocation, or a new career, big travel plans, or exciting new friends. What is actually at the root of the restlessness is a need to be more connected with those already in my life, to my own community, to my inner self, and to God. The solution to the discontent is not going to be found in a specific, external source. I used to think that there must be a book out there that would hold the answers, and I've continued to search the library, Amazon, and Ebay for those key tomes of wisdom. All I end up with is more books, more clutter, and no lessening of my malaise. 

In our noisy, uber-active world, how might we allow ourselves moments for contemplation and silence? Do we even know what silence is anymore? In the last post, I wrote about making the life you have be the life you want. I believe that this begins with a habit of prayer and contemplation, and a willingness to embrace the small details of everyday life. If we don't do that first, we will be forever seeking the "next thing" that we think will bring us happiness. We'll find ourselves burdened with meeting one goal after another with no end in sight. Once the goal is met, the emptiness returns. 

So for now, choose one thing about your life that you would like to change, or one dream that you want to have come true. Write down the grand version, and then meditate on what a small, doable version might look like. Record your ideas. If you want to be a gardener, rather than lament that you would have to move to the country first, start with a small kitchen garden and grow a few tomatoes, onions, and peppers. Or plant the window boxes that you usually leave empty with flowers. If you want to take up running but are out of shape, start with a daily walk around the block. If you dream of moving to Paris, look for movies set in the City of Lights at the library. Check out some kids' books and learn a few French words and phrases. You get the idea! 

Once you put the wheels in motion, you will either be spurred toward larger goals in service of your dream, or you will realize that you don't want what you thought you wanted after all. In either case, you will have learned more about yourself and your chosen subject along the way. You'll be edified by the experience, so there's no reason to worry about wasting time.

I once thought that I'd like a career as a calligrapher, to have a business making wedding invitations and such. I took a calligraphy class and found that I did indeed have a talent for it. While I enjoyed the class, to my own surprise I discovered that I didn't love calligraphy, and that this was no longer my dream. Doing things in a small way first gives you the time to explore and see if it's really something you want to pursue in a more serious way. 

Along the journey, keep praying for wisdom and guidance, and let go of your own will. Also consider that you may already be living your true purpose, and you only need to go more deeply right where you are.