The Spiritual Art of Detachment | Triggered by the Masks

I first learned about detachment as a member of the Al-Anon 12 Step groups for friends and family of alcoholics. I was an active member for 10 years, and the topic of detachment came up frequently. The principles and practices of Alcoholics Anonymous are based upon traditional Christianity, though the organization and its affiliates are autonomous groups with no religious affiliation. 

Detachment is difficult to both define and to practice. In the 12 Step groups, it's usually applied to emotionally distancing oneself from the problems and behaviors of another person. It isn't about not caring or going numb; we are supposed to feel our feelings and detach with love. 

Say, for example, that your spouse comes home drunk and passes out in the bathroom. You could lie awake for hours stewing in fear or anger, plotting the tongue lashing you're going to give him when he wakes up. Or, practicing detachment, you could check to make sure he's breathing okay, cover him up with a blanket, say a prayer, and go to sleep. You'll wait until he has sobered up to talk to him and will keep control of your own emotions and actions. 

Lately I've found that rather than needing to practice detachment with a particular person, it's the events of the outside world that are causing me anxiety, which could easily lead to obsession. Obsessive thinking, the desire for control, and an overly developed sense of responsibility are typical issues for the Al-Anon person.

I found myself worrying about people at Mass last evening, so many wearing masks, and knowing that it isn't healthy for them. I feel very disturbed with all the mask wearing, both forced and voluntary; loads of yellow caution tape in public places; and intense arguments and contradictory information in the news and on social media about COVID-19. Add to that the issues of civil unrest, murders, rapes, robbery, and destruction happening at the hands of Black Lives Matter and Antifa, and the debates surrounding all that. Top the bitter cake with the mismanagement of government officials in all of these areas, in many cases their blatant encouragement of mob rule, and we have a perfect storm of widespread insecurity and a desperate fight to preserve our safety, rights, and freedom. I will be shocked if it doesn't all rage to a volcanic explosion the likes of Pompei. 

The art of spiritual detachment seems nearly impossible to practice with the intense, prolonged, and multiple stresses we are all facing. Our own personal issues are quite enough to deal with. Adding so much extra baggage from the outside is too much of a burden for anyone. Sanity will not be possible without detachment. 

I will continue to explore detachment in subsequent posts, but for this one, I've gathered the memes to help define the concept, which is what one has to do before putting it into practice. Detachment really must begin with daily prayer and the Bible, or at least conscious contact with a "higher power." I highly recommend the Rosary. I have found that it not only calms me, but gives me clarity and stabilizes my thoughts and emotions. 

I hope you have found this helpful. Godspeed, Rita Michele