The Many Paths of Relaxed Homeschooling

 What steps must I take to reach the cat?

Have you ever had the experience of reading an article about homeschooling, seeing a post on Facebook, or talking to another homeschooling mother and feeling like you don't quite measure up? And then maybe you have the impulse to suddenly overhaul everything you do in order to be as awesome as someone else seems to be? There is that fine line between being inspired and feeling inferior.

I remember reading a blog post once that implored home educating mothers to be real on their blogs, to give a more balanced view of what homeschooling is really like, not just the Pollyanna version. I didn't quite agree with this. As a blogger, I want to be encouraging and inspiring. Who wants to see pictures of the messes and bad days?

But now I get it. For example, I received an invitation in my inbox yesterday from Lori Pickert for a master class on project-based homeschooling. I have Lori's book. I think project-based homeschooling is a great idea, and oh dear, I had forgotten all about it! I had the sudden urge to entirely redo Beezy's arts and crafts area and then remembered that I was simply not up to it physically, and I'd have to wait. I was thinking that I'd better finish reading Lori's book and make sure everything in my home is perfectly arranged to optimize the doing of self-directed projects!

But let's hit the pause button and reflect on this for a moment. Beezy has an ongoing self-directed project of writing daily in her diary, sometimes several times a day. She regularly creates drawing projects and likes to invent potions, mixing together various lotions, perfumes, shampoos, etc..., which can yield interesting chemical reactions. Recently she redesigned her desk area in her bedroom. A couple of days ago she assembled a few of her Monster High dolls and created a store where they were buying and selling things. And of course when Beezy gets together with a friend, the projects do not cease unless the girls are sleeping. Do we really need a master class?

In Lori's blog post she made the point that children learn by doing. She said that if you walk into a classroom and you see children copying notes from the chalkboard, what they are actually learning to do is to copy notes. Reminders such as this keep us on our toes as home educators. We must leave enough space to allow children to learn how to learn, to think critically, and to create in organic ways. There is a place for formal lessons, but we need to be careful not to spoon feed. And even in those formal lessons, nothing should be wasted or done just to check off a box.

Beezy loves to do work pages. They might seem like busy work to me, but she intuitively knows that they facilitate her learning in a way that she needs. She also knows when her mind is not being fed. She announced one day that she hates math because it's boring and too easy. Too easy! So I realized that she doesn't have to do a thousand math problems when she learns a new concept. We can skip what isn't necessary in the workbook and move on.

Thinking in terms of relaxed home learning, that restful schole that I wrote about recently, reminds me that homeschooling takes on a unique form in every home. And those pictures of perfect homeschoolers on Facebook? I have been in some of those homes, and I know better. Those perfect moments are about as brief as the time it takes to snap the photo. The beauty is in the reality of life.

Once you get your system rolling, through trial and error and experience, your family will find its natural rhythm. You'll roll with the changes as you observe your children, and you will provide them with exactly what they need. In trying to meet Beezy's desire to make potions, I checked out a gigantic book of such recipes from the library and was promptly overwhelmed by all of the ingredients I would need to find. Where the heck would borax be in Wal-Mart? I sent the book back and kept thinking about how to do chemistry at home. Then it hit me. I went on Ebay and found a kit with all of the stuff already included for 16 edible experiments, for only $13 with free shipping. Huzzah!

It's good to read blogs and books and to share ideas with other homeschoolers. Just don't get caught in the comparison trap. Don't imagine that what you are doing isn't already wonderful. Because I assure you, it's the bees knees!

A Mother's Rule of Life

I am currently reading Holly Pierlot's A Mother's Rule of Life.  The premise of the book is taking the concept of a religious rule, such as nuns practice, and applying it to the vocation of a woman as wife and mother.  I love the idea of what I do as a vocation, which I have written about before.  Holly writes about being a Catholic homeschooling mother of five and how she brought order, and therefore peace, to her daily round.  She goes beyond developing a schedule to live by and extends the structure of her days into a deeper spiritual purpose.  Though she is not a fan of unschooling, I think that since I am on my own path to bringing greater meaning to the life of myself and my family, Holly's ideas will be a blessing.  I am already inspired to begin spring cleaning (including my email inbox)! The groundhog did promise an early spring, after all.

I want my days to flow within the framework of a flexible schedule.  Since I only have one child, I don't feel that I need every block of time sectioned out like Holly's. Once housework is caught up on and a system is in place to keep things in order, I can begin the bigger tasks of cleaning out closets and working on home projects. I know, we have visited this territory before, have we not? Yes, and we will need to come back to it twice a year, every spring and fall. We need to regularly re-evaluate what is working well, what isn't, and how to create the change we desire.

I spoke at length to my husband about unschooling, and he finally watched Astra Taylor's youtube video. We are on the same page about not wanting to be "radical" unschoolers. He pointed out that I have basically already been unschooling to a certain extent and thinks I should continue with Montessori and Charlotte Mason as a basis for the more formal lesson times. Because of some of the unschooling practices that we don't want to be associated with, such as letting children make all their own decisions, not only about what they will learn and when, but in every other area of life, he is hesitant to say that what we do is unschooling. I certainly agree that many people, especially in the homeschooling community, have very negative impressions about unschooling, and I don't want to misrepresent what we do. But I think that putting a qualifier in front of it, such as the word Catholic, would help correct any misapprehension.

By definition, Catholic unschooling requires that parents are actively involved in the faith formation of their children and in instilling good habits, morals, self-discipline, and responsibility. Children cannot be left to "self-regulate" or be allowed limitless access to TV, the computer, video games, technology, etc... I suppose there may be some Catholic unschoolers who give their children too much freedom in this way, but in that case they are not fulfilling the duties of their parental vocation and so are really practicing a secular version of unschooling.

On the other side of the coin, Montessori, Charlotte Mason, and John Holt all, in their own way, agree that the teacher/parent should not overly interfere in the learning of children, that much learning should be auto-educative, and that children should have a great deal of freedom in choosing those activities which most interest them. The adult can do some direct teaching but focuses mainly on facilitating the child's learning, whether that means answering questions, having conversations, locating the necessary resources, going places in the community, setting up lessons, or teaching specific skills when asked.

The Catholic Church's Mass schedule and the liturgical year provide a seasonal framework for ordering one's days, so Catholic unschooling will have a basic, intrinsic structure in this regard. Especially once Beezy and I are both taking Holy Communion, I want to add Wednesday morning Mass in addition to the usual Sunday morning (or Saturday evening). Praying the Rosary together and reading the associated Bible mysteries (stories) will be part of our curriculum. Doing copy work of Rosary and other prayers, as well as hymns and songs from Mass, and memorization of daily liturgical Bible readings will provide some of the practice of copy work and recitation. Right now Beezy has piano lessons on Mondays and religious education classes at church on Wednesday evenings, as well as regular play dates, so those activities also provide structure.

In general, I will apply the Montessori method to our Catholic unschooling by way of following the child and giving choices; role modeling desired behaviors and attitudes; encouraging practical life skills; a carefully prepared home environment that facilitates self-teaching and exploration of ideas; and close observation of the child to see who she is as a person, how best she learns, and what she is most interested in doing. From Charlotte Mason we will continue with living books and narration, keeping a nature journal, hand crafts, and spending time in the natural world and gardening. Since workbooks for math and phonics work well for us, we'll continue to use them, and we will take full advantage of library and online resources. I think this will all come together organically in a balanced system of learning and living in natural ways.

Catholicism in Regard to Unschooling

John Holt's books, such as How Children Fail and How Children Learn, were among the first books I read in consideration of the idea of homeschooling, and these writings were certainly inspiring. It did, however, cross my mind that because he was never a parent, Holt's qualifications in regard to speaking on home education were limited by virtue of that fact. Parents' responsibilities to their children were not something he could really know on a personal level. Also, I don't remember any indication that he was a man of faith or that he considered that religious parents would have a responsibility to raise children in their faith; that is, to teach children in the realm of religion.

The Catholic Church makes it clear that failing to actively teach children is not an option, and I am Catholic, so there are certain things that I am obligated to teach my child. I imagine that other Christians and people of faith believe the same way. This is the problem with Catholics using the term unschooling that Holly Pierlot brings up in her blog, "A Mother's Rule of Life". She acknowledges that what Catholic "unschoolers" usually mean by unschooling is de-institutionalizing home education, but that what John Holt really means is anti-teaching. (See the initial question and comments at http://www.mothersruleoflife.com/2011/05/unschooling-catholic-education.html.)  Holly explains,

"There is a distinction between John Holt's unschooling and what Catholic families are doing to de-institutionalize their homeschools. I fear that if the term 'unschooling' is used throughout the Catholic books, and given what I know unschooling 'really is', I'd have to fight my strong reactions again...

To me, the Catholic home educator's use of Holt's term is really unfortunate, because the bottom line is Holt means anti-teaching, not anti-schools, and I really really wish Catholics would not use the term... but I guess that is wishful thinking now that it's becoming 'popular'.

Let's put it this way - if any family sets out to 'teach' via books, or instruction or stories or witness or words or lived experiences etc etc (meaning, that the 'method' one uses is geared to the unique needs and talents of the parents and the children and is not tied to traditional text/instruction methods), then this has its benefits. I imagine this is the way 'unschooling' - meaning de-institutionalized methods - is being intended by Catholic families.

However, if one decides to adopt 'unschooling' in the sense Holt uses it- that the parent really doesn't interfere with the child's process- then it's really totally unacceptable to the mission of Catholic parental education. In fact, it contradicts the parental vocation.

Keep this distinction in mind, and it might help clarify which resources to read. But watch out when reading secular unschooling resources, because they probably mean the latter, not the former, definition."

That throws another wrench into the whole thing, now doesn't it?  At the same time, I am so grateful to the Church, as usual, that she clarifies the Truth for me, that there is a higher authority than my own thoughts, opinions, inclinations, etc... There is the authority given by Jesus to his Church, which is guided by the Holy Spirit, and I can rely on that as my touchstone for everything else in life, for every decision of every single day. Perhaps "relaxed Catholic home-based learning" or "Charlotte Mason Catholic home education" would better serve my purposes than using the secular term, unschooling. How we name things is important, because concepts, methods, and belief systems lie behind the name, but in practice it is also pivotal to create a particular atmosphere and attitude toward education that does not separate learning from the rest of life. Life is learning and learning is life, regardless of exactly what style I choose to call my homeschooling. Style without substance is shallow, and every child deserves a deep, meaningful education for life.