Homeschooling as Vocation

As some of you are already aware, homeschooling is not always a popular choice. I would go so far as to say that it is rare that one would not encounter any negativity or opposition. While I felt called to homeschool my child, only recently have I come to really understand it as a vocation. Every day I have the opportunity to choose to see teaching my child as God's calling, as my work for him and for his glory, acting in cooperation with his will.

In modern society, the emphasis is on "What do I want to do with my life?" I graduated from college in a poor job market, with hopes of working in the field of public relations, doing something with my speaking and writing skills. I went to a career counselor at Ohio State, who suggested looking into working for a non-profit agency, and I read a book called Profitable Careers in Non-Profits, or something like that. Feeling like I was having trouble pinpointing the right career for myself, I read another book called What Color Is Your Parachute? I had so many interests that it was difficult to choose just one thing. There is a reason that self-help books are such a popular category.

Even when one focuses on what she wants and spends a lot of time trying to figure out who she is and what her great work in life will be (always imagining something fabulous involving fame and wealth), making God's choice secondary in the matter, if conferring with him at all, God still has a way of leading one to his plan. When Beezy was a baby and the idea of homeschooling came up, I told my husband that I would not do that, because when she was five, I wanted my life back! My mom had told me on a number of occasions, "This is your life now," and of course she was right, but I just didn't get it yet. I did not comprehend that I was never to have my old life back again. And thank goodness! For it is far richer now than it could ever have been had I not become a mother. That is the truth for me. 

I recently started reading to Beezy from the Loyola Kids Book of Saints by Amy Welbourn. This is a great resource for teaching history and religion. The notion of who saints are is perfectly explained at an elementary age level, without dumbing anything down, and the stories are told in an interesting way, helping to relate each saint's life to the life of the child. Today we read about Catherine of Siena, who made an unusual, unpopular choice of vocation, especially for a woman of her times. She knew even as a child that she wanted more than anything else to be close to Jesus, and she decided that the best way to put him first was to never get married. Living from 1347-1380, about the only other acceptable choice for a woman in those times was to become a nun, but she was certain that God did not want that for her either!

Prayer was the most important thing in Catherine's life, and some of her choices baffled and even frightened people. She ate nothing but a spoonful of herbs a day, and she only slept about thirty minutes a night--on hard boards. People thought she was so strange! But Catherine was concentrating her whole self, body and soul, on God. She wasn't trying to worry her parents or upset people. She knew God was preparing her for a big job, and in order to carry out his will, she had to be free, strong, and close to God. Through the example of her life and teaching others about God, people all over Europe knew about her. And they listened to her. Even the pope himself, as it turns out.

The pope was living in splendor in France instead of in Rome where he was supposed to be, because the king of France controlled him and the Church. Christians everywhere were confused, not knowing if the pope was speaking for God anymore. Catherine stood before him unafraid and gave him a message from God. He was to return to Rome and freely lead the Church, as Jesus wanted him to do. Late one night, the pope secretly left France and returned to Italy.

At the end of the story the author says, "St. Catherine of Siena didn't care about other people's opinions or expectations. The only opinion that mattered to her was God's. Can you think of times when you've had to follow your conscience and do the right thing even though other people discouraged you?"

Homeschooling can be a lonely vocation. Others, even those closest to you, may not support you, and may openly and harshly disagree with your choice. They may watch you and your children like a hawk, waiting for evidence that you are not doing a good job, that your child is not learning what he should. The first thing to remember is that God is always with you. The second thing is that you only have one day at a time. Just do what needs to be done that day. Don't compare your children to others, as long as they are making progress and are happy little people. Each child learns in his own way, at his own pace, in his own time. It may be many months or many years before the positive results of your efforts will be manifest to others. Be aware that some may never validate your choice, or admit that you did the right thing. Even when 5 kids in Chardon, Ohio are shot by a fellow student and 3 of them die, people will insist that school is where your kids should be.

Ultimately, you are not likely going to be called to stand before the pope and tell him what to do. But you will be required to stand before Jesus and answer for your choices. His mother, Mary, told the servants at the wedding in Cana, "Do whatever he tells you." Did you listen when Jesus called you to your vocation? That should be your only consideration.
 

Sewing with Grandma

Homeschooled children are very resourceful. They are full of Ideas. Big Ideas. Beezy had been wanting to learn to sew for quite some time. Last week she found a turquoise, glitter dot fabric remnant left over from a belly dance costume piece and decided she wanted to make a dress for her Rapunzel doll. I told her that if she really wanted to learn to sew, someone who knows how to sew should teach her! So I called my grandmother, whose skills are of a master seamstress level.

When I was a belly dance student in Columbus, we made patterns for a practice skirt with newspaper. Since Grandma suggested practicing with an old piece of fabric first, but I couldn't find any rags that would work, I gave her the newspaper idea. This was my only contribution. Well, I also brought her other Barbie dresses for ideas, and Beezy chose a general style from those.

Grandma decided to do the skirt and top parts of the dress separately, so she traced the bottom part of the gown on newspaper and cut the pattern. The original dress was all one piece with a single seam, so that was how she designed the new skirt. She cut the glitter dot fabric around the pattern, turned it inside out, and pinned it in place. Since I had no pins, she used needles. Then she basted it. I would never have thought to do this! I probably would not have thought to pin it either. This is why I hired a professional!

The needle was threaded, doubled, and the ends were knotted together. I then had the pleasure of watching my grandma patiently teach Beezy to sew! "Little stitches, little stitches," she repeated. She did not insist on perfection but guided her grandaughter to reasonably good results. Beatrix's look of pride and joy when she finished was priceless! Grandma decided she needed to take the doll and fabric home to figure out how to design the top part. She said that she hadn't made doll clothes in many years, and it is not an easy thing to do. So how awesome is that! On another day she will bring it back over for Beezy to finish.

A day or two later Beezy fixed a big hole in one of her stuffed animals. (She had been asking me to do it for months!) All I had to do was thread the needle, knot the ends, and place a pin to hold it together, and she managed very well to take care of that problem herself! This is the beauty of homeschooling. Teachers are everywhere; you don't have to do it alone. And most importantly, my daughter has another beautiful memory with her great-grandma to treasure forever.

Manna for the Temple: Have a Cup of Tea!

Today is the third day of Lent, which means it is my third day without coffee. Boy am I tired! I gave up coffee because I don't like how it makes me feel. It is certainly not personality enhancing! For awhile I even drank espresso with soy milk, which made me instantly hyped up and impatient. But it tasted so good, and it cleared my morning cobwebs quickly. However, praying for patience in my homeschooling efforts and then drinking espresso kind of defeats the purpose, and in addition to serious jitters, my stomach never felt good.

Facebook friends warned me that I would get a headache, but as it turns out, I was going to have one anyway, since the beginning of Lent coincided with my monthly visit from Heavy Aunt Flo. I had at least given up the espresso and was drinking plain old coffee, so the withdrawal wouldn't be so bad.  Besides, Lent is a time for going into the desert for 40 days with Jesus, so a headache is only a little thing from that perspective. It isn't supposed to be easy; one is supposed to sacrifice something. And hurray for me, because I don't have to give up meat on Fridays--I'm already vegetarian!

My goal is to treat my body better, as a temple of the Holy Spirit. While I wasn't excessive in my coffee drinking, it did cause me physical discomfort, and I want to have energy in a more natural way. I want to feel good! (I also want to give up 10 pounds for Lent, which means healthier eating and more exercise.) Still, I want a hot drink in the morning, even in the summer. So with what have I replaced the coffee? I'm going to give a review here of three types of tea that can all be purchased at vitacost.com, which has less expensive prices than you will find in health food stores. Vitacost is a great place to find all kinds of natural and organic products, including vitamins, shampoo, skin care, toothpaste, beauty products, and food.

Organic Ginger tea, from Traditional Medicinals, promotes healthy digestion and is caffeine free. Ginger is also good for respiratory health. It has a strong flavor and is naturally invigorating, so it will pick you up and soothe your stomach, with no jitters. Ginger tea works great for morning sickness, too!

Yerba Mate Royale, from Wisdom of the Ancients, is sweetened with stevia, which is an herb and a healthier alternative to sugar. Yerba mate tea is classified as a nutritional supplement, energizing you with 196 active compounds including vitamins, minerals, and more antioxidants than green tea. This is good, because I can't stand green tea. Yerba mate has less caffeine than coffee or black tea and does not cause the nerve rattling effects. On the box it says, "Licorice Pepper (Piper fulvescens) is the English name we have given this rare rainforest herb." Isn't that lovely? This one is also organic.

Women's Energy tea, by Yogi, helps balance hormones. This is a dong quai tonic, a root extract also known as "women's ginseng." This organic tea also contains juniper berry, cinnamon bark, orange peel, ginger root, fennel seed, chamomile, dandelion, anise, stinging nettle, orange oil, stevia and black pepper. This is a great tasting tonic for any time, even when you are not being visited by Mean Aunt Ruby!

If you already drink tea, now you have some new varieties to enjoy.  I encourage you to try these teas for energy and healing, and for a few quiet minutes to relax and savor a hot drink to pamper yourself. Make it a sacred time to fill the well, that will invigorate you to get up and going again. Whether in a dainty China cup or a handmade pottery mug, have yourself a cup of tea!

"Manna for the Temple": Of Prayers and Saints

Last night after Mass I showed Father J. a "Lady of All Nations" prayer card I had sent to me from an online group. The prayer is based on a series of apparitions of the Virgin Mary to a woman in Amsterdam. It reads,
"Lord Jesus Christ, Son of the Father, send now your Spirit over the earth. Let the Holy Spirit live in the hearts of all Nations, that they may be preserved from degeneration, disaster, and war. May the Lady of All Nations, the Blessed Virgin Mary, be our Advocate! Amen."

There was a book sale after Mass, and I purchased a Rosary for my daughter. As I was talking to Father J. about teaching it to her, and showing him the prayer card, he explained that the purpose of any devotions is to bring us closer to Christ, so they should be Christological in nature. This particular prayer, for me, ties into the theme of living a holy life and how that relates to caring for our bodies as temples of the Holy Spirit, and by extension, caring for Mother Earth. The ways in which we take care of ourselves, our environment, and our children, and how we relate to God and other peoples of the world socially, politically, and economically are completely intertwined. Our inner lives manifest outwardly and vice versa.

So for this "Manna for the Temple" series, let me focus now on prayer. One big difference between the Catholic and Protestant approach to prayer is that Protestants pray, while Catholics say prayers. That isn't to say that Catholics only recite memorized prayers. But the only memorized prayer I ever learned as a Protestant was the "Our Father", which of course Catholics also use. What I am finding is that we are sometimes limited in how to pray and what to pray for, so a memorized prayer helps me to focus myself on God without distraction. This includes the Rosary and those repetitious, memorized prayers. There are also prayers to the saints, of which Mary is the highest.

Why pray to a saint? Because the saints are the "great cloud of witnesses" spoken of in the Bible who are praying for us! In The Secrets of Mary, author Janice T. Connell explains that Mary "asks us to rely upon God at all times. She reminds us that God sends His angels and saints to comfort and guide us while we dwell in our bodies on earth. If we speak fewer words and listen with our hearts, we can become aware of God's heavenly Kingdom all around us." The purpose of devotions to Mary and the saints is to lead us to a closer relationship with Jesus. Through learning of the lives of the saints and how God worked in their lives, we receive various glimpses of God's grace as delivered through those individuals, and so a particular saint's story may resonate with us and help to magnify God's love for us.

St. Monica, who was the mother of St. Augustine, is the patron saint of married women and mothers. By her  prayers, faith, and holy example, and through appearances of the Virgin Mary to her, Monica lead her wayward husband and son to God. Once a womanizing drunk who lead a life of sinful pleasure, Augustine became a holy man of God and is one of the most prolific Christian writers of all time. Here is the Prayer to Saint Monica:  "Exemplary Mother of great Saint Augustine, you perseveringly pursued your wayward son not with wild threats but with prayerful cries to heaven. Intercede for all mothers in our day so that they may learn to draw their children to God. Teach them how to remain close to their children, even prodigal sons and daughters who have sadly gone astray. Amen."

Protestant Christians for the most part have no problem with listening to Christian music in order to draw closer to God, but they usually balk at visual images, statues, candles, incense, holy water, rosaries, etc... Why should this be? One does not worship these things, any more than one worships music. If I light a candle in front of a plaque of Jesus and Mary and say the prayer on the back of a holy card, I add tangible elements of the spiritual realm to my day. If I am struggling with inspiration to do my housework, it helps to burn incense and play some devotional music. When a Catholic enters the church sanctuary, dipping one's fingers into holy water and making the sign of the cross reminds a person that he or she is entering the presence of the Lord. The Eucharist, the body and blood of Christ shared by the congregation, is the center of Catholic worship ever single week, rather than a church service centered on the sermon of the minister, with Communion taken only a few times a year. The physical and the eternal are not separate. Never have I attended a church as Christ-centered as the Catholic Church, and perhaps this connection between things you can see and touch and the invisible realm of the holy is the reason.

As a homeschooling mother, St. Monica and the Virgin Mary give me excellent examples to follow. I will leave you with the "Parents Prayer" found on the back of a holy card picturing Mary, Joseph, and the child Jesus. May you have a blessed day!

"MOST LOVING FATHER, THE EXAMPLE OF PARENTHOOD, TEACH US WHAT TO GIVE AND WHAT TO WITHHOLD. SHOW US WHEN TO REPROVE AND WHEN TO PRAISE. MAKE US GENTLE AND CONSIDERATE YET FIRM AND WATCHFUL. KEEP US FROM WEAK INDULGENCE, OR FROM GREAT SEVERITY. GIVE US THE COURAGE TO BE DISLIKED SOMETIMES BY OUR CHILDREN, WHEN WE MUST DO NECESSARY THINGS WHICH ARE DISPLEASING IN THEIR EYES. GIVE US THE IMAGINATION TO ENTER INTO THEIR WORLD IN ORDER TO UNDERSTAND AND GUIDE THEM. GIVE US ALL THE VIRTUES WE NEED TO LEAD THEM BY WORD AND EXAMPLE IN THE PATH OF RIGHTEOUSNESS. AMEN!"

Belly Dance and Religion: A Conversion Story

Many loose ends have come together for me since last May, which in Catholic tradition is Mary's month, but I didn't know that at the time. Since then I have undergone two conversions, one in the world of belly dance, and the other in the realm of religion. Only today have I realized the connection, and that is what I wish to share in this article.

Every year in May I attend the Island of Isis Dance Retreat in Loveland, Ohio, near Cincinnati, organized by my beautiful sisters in the dance, Conchi and Nataj. The town is historic and picturesque, and the Grailville Center where the event is held is holy ground. Last May our teacher was Hadia of Canada, who in addition to possessing over 30 years of belly dance experience is also a master of Flamenco and Turkish Rom (Gypsy) and is a massage and manual therapist. Up till this point in my dance career, I had mostly focused on an American concoction of belly dance know as Tribal, a "fusion" of Middle Eastern, Gypsy, Spanish flamenco, and North African dance styles. I put the word "fusion" in quotes, because as I learned from Hadia, that is not an accurate term in the way it is often applied to Tribal belly dance. To be a true fusion form, the dancer must be a master in all the forms being fused. This was not the case with the origins of American Tribal Style belly dance in the San Francisco Bay area, and it is generally not the case today.

I had begun belly dancing in a style that my teacher described as "Egyptian Cabaret." However, through the phenomenal instruction I have received over the years at Island of Isis, I have come to understand that much of what I learned was actually Lebanese, so for years I was confused. Also, at the particular studio where I began my training, I learned to dance through choreography and as part of a troupe. There were many gaps in my learning of the most basic steps, and I did not learn to dance on my own. The very nature of Middle Eastern dance is that this art form is traditionally performed as a solo dance, albeit often in a social setting. I was, quite frankly, impoverished in the area of solo technique. And once I had discovered it, I clung to my Tribal style, which is a group improvisational dance.

That is, until Hadia. Over the weekend of the retreat, I was slowly persuaded to authentic Egyptian dance. I struggled back and forth in my mind regarding the authenticity of Tribal belly dance. I had to admit that while it is inspired by those cultures mentioned above, and it contains a movement vocabulary and aesthetic qualities akin to those forms, it is ultimately its own thing. Tribal is Tribal, as Egyptian dancers had repeatedly tried to explain to me.

The moment of my conversion happened Friday evening, after Hadia's explanation of "Body Logistics," in which she taught us how to dance safely from the perspective of her in depth knowledge of anatomy. We learned to get out of the "squatting" position that most of us are taught from day one of belly dance classes, and she broke us out of "arm prison." This completely natural orientation of posture and movement is truly Egyptian. Both sides of the Cabaret vs. Tribal debate had missed the point. It's not about costuming or dancing flat-footed vs. dancing on the ball of the foot. My friends, it's about the Baladi. It all comes back to the Baladi. If you don't believe me, read Hossam Ramzy's and Hadia's online articles.

It was Friday after the class, alone in my room, when I had my moment of epiphany. I was listening to a Golden Era of Egyptian Belly Dance CD that I had just purchased, and all I can tell you is that the music seeped into the pores of my skin and transformed me at the cellular level. I got it. I finally understood. And I'm sorry, but I can't explain it to you. It was nothing less than a religious experience. I knew I had found the real thing. I listened to that music with my entire being every chance I got that weekend, and for most of my 4 hour drive home.

Back home, I became obsessed with watching Golden Era dancers on youtube--Naima Akef, Samia Gamal, Taheya Carioka, Fifi Abdo, Soheir Zaki, and the list goes on. Full orchestral, classical Egyptian music. Raqs Sharki dance based on the Baladi, which is the urban dance brought to Egyptian cities from the rural areas during the Industrial Revolution. This is the dance of the people, the Mother of Belly Dance. I shocked my students with my sudden change of direction. Luckily, I had not taught them Tribal exclusively. We had focused on that style, and I had taught them solid technique, but I had always incorporated what I knew as Cabaret into my choreographies and instruction in solo technique. In fact, after learning the Baladi Taksim from Bahaia at Island of Isis in 2010, I passed that training on to my students. Combined with what I learned from Hadia, and in light of my conversion experience, the Baladi Taksim is where I began a new direction with my students last May, and we went deeply into it. We are about ready to order sparkly, heavily beaded bras and belts--the standard Cabaret costume--so the transformation is almost complete!

So what I am professing to you here is that the Baladi is the real deal. The Baladi is home base. If you want to call yourself a belly dancer, in my opinion you must endeavor, at some point on your path, to understand the Baladi. In some mystical way that I can't quite explain, my belly dance conversion prepared the way for my recent conversion from Protestantism to Catholicism. I have been watching youtube interviews with people who have made this conversion, particularly those who were once Protestant church ministers. I have heard more than once from these men that their former church gave them a good foundation in Christianity, that there was much good and truth in what they had learned, but that in Catholicism they found the fullness of the faith, the missing pieces. That is true to my own experience as well. It is a feeling of coming home.

In a similar way, I think of Tribal belly dance as the foundation I have given to many of my students. Learning that style filled some of the gaps and corrected the awkward posturing and imbalance that I experienced in my first "Egyptian Cabaret" classes. Tribal belly dance contains its own, unique beauty, and many people are drawn to its sense of community. But for me, for the time being at least, the Egyptian Baladi is like coming home. It is most closely connected to the ancient source of this deeply feminine, empowering, spiritual dance, which has been preserved by the people from generation to generation. Thank you, dearest Hadia, and all of my lovely teachers, for this most amazing gift!

The Body, Temple of the Spirit

"Now when the Day of Pentecost had fully come, they were all with one accord in one place. And suddenly there came a sound from heaven, as of a rushing mighty wind, and it filled the whole house where they were sitting. Then there appeared to them divided tongues, as of fire, and one sat upon each of them. And they were filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak with other tongues, as the Spirit gave them utterance." (Acts 2:1-4)

"Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God's." (1 Cor. 6:19,20)

Last night as I was meditating on my Rosary on the mystery of the Coming of the Holy Spirit, I pondered the meaning of the body as a temple of the Holy Spirit. And it occurred to me that there is nothing of environmental concern and responsibility that is not directly related to the human body. The connection between the care of our earth, which God explicitly entrusted to Adam and Eve and their descendants, and the care of our bodies is permanently linked and unbreakable. I would go so far as to say that this bond is a holy covenant between God and man. Jesus sent the Holy Spirit after his ascension to heaven so that we shall be witnesses to him, to the end of the earth. Our power to be witnesses is given to us by the Holy Spirit dwelling within (Acts 1:8). How can the Spirit fulfill this mission in a dirty temple? What movies and television programs you watch, what books and magazines you read, and what music you listen to does matter. But it doesn't stop there.

Our bodies do not belong to us; they belong to God. Everything we do or neglect to do in regard to farming practices and what we eat, the chemicals we use, our personal care and cleaning products, the cars we drive, the efficiency of our household appliances--literally anything you can imagine--directly relates to the use of our bodies as temples of the Holy Spirit. This goes beyond sexual behaviors or impure thoughts that defile this temple. We are to glorify God in our bodies. It does matter to God what food you put in your mouth, what deodorant and toothpaste you use, what is in your laundry detergent, whether or not you smoke cigarettes or drink too much alcohol, whether or not your corn is genetically modified, your choices to recycle and compost, or not, whether you breastfeed your baby or use cloth diapers. God does care whether or not you are physically fit. Spirituality and a holy life simply cannot be separated, in any way, shape, or form, from the care of your body, which cannot be separated from the care of Mother Earth. Period. Exclamation point! No ifs, ands, or buts about it.

So what I would like to do in honor of my self-declared Year of Mother Earth is to provide my readers with ideas for better ways of holy, sustainable living, which will help me keep my focus on doing the same. I will call this series, "Manna for the Temple." Stay tuned for product recommendations, organic growing methods, cosmetic and food ingredient warnings, and anything that the Holy Spirit inspires to keep us connected--body, mind, soul, and planet.

New Year's Day

I really feel, in an intuitive, soulful way, that 2012 will be a pivotal year. Not just for me, but for the direction of humanity and all of creation. We are teetering on the edge of spiritual transformation, and I imagine it is going to be a very bumpy ride. I don't think we've seen anything yet! To prepare, we need to shore up spiritual strength and emotional energy, as well as care for our bodies, and by extension, for all sentient beings. Let's declare this the Year of Mother Earth!

"We are all walking a path of initiation, and we all have a choice. We can either keep going on a treadmill of failing our tests--perhaps getting irritated or angry at the circumstances of life--or we can determine to pass these tests and move on with our spiritual development. We can get off the treadmill and begin hiking up a mountain." - Elizabeth Clare Prophet

I think what Prophet is saying here is that it's time to wake up, grow up, and step up. She speaks of the things we need to let go of, those conditions in our psychological being that prevent us from being whole. She suggests that we need to "raise the Mother flame" and "walk the path in beauty." How do we restore the soul back to balance and wholeness? What is needed is a radical reorientation. Recently when something someone said set me off, making me angry, frustrated, and hurt, destroying my serenity, I did not blame the other person, but wondered what, exactly, happened inside of me. Rather than kick myself for getting thrown out of balance, I centered myself with meditative breathing, read an inspiring article in Yoga Journal magazine, talked to my husband, and lit a candle on my fireplace alter, gazing at images of Mary and Jesus.

There is every connection between war, poverty, misogyny, ecological devastation, natural disasters, divorce, rape, child abuse, and all manner of violence and sorrow. The sacred feminine has been rejected and subverted for thousands of years, but consciousness has been rising and people are growing in Wisdom, understanding that for mass change to occur, each must "let it begin with me." We all have so much more than we need. Too many cars, clothes, toys, too much food that doesn't nourish us, many superficial relationships and too few sustaining ones. "Oh the noise, noise, noise, noise, noise!!" (the Grinch).

Clean the house, clear the clutter. I am talking literally and metaphorically. Really think about what you eat, what you say, what you think, what you do. In Kundalini yoga terms, we need to raise the light of the Divine Mother from the base of the spine to connect with the light of the Father in the crown. Prophet says, "When these two unite in the heart chakra, we give birth to the Christ consciousness."

The problem I see is that some of the major world religions are functioning without that Divine Mother, with no image of the sacred feminine. For me, this is Mary, mother of Jesus and all children of God. Neither women nor men--and subsequently our children--will be whole until we restore our reverence for the sacred feminine, honoring the Wisdom and Beauty of women, and beholding God in the Earth herself. She is in the wind, the trees, the moon, and the pull of the tides. "Behold your Mother." --the words of Jesus from the cross.