Contemplative Prayer & Lectio Divina

http://www.beliefnet.com/Faiths/Catholic/2000/08/How-To-Practice-Lectio-Divina.aspx

This link provides a step by step method for practicing lectio divina. In this post I'd like to continue the conversation regarding the married contemplative vocation. Prayer is at the heart of Christian contemplative practice. On my journey to the Catholic faith, I discovered this idea of praying the scriptures. Last year, as Advent was upon us, I asked a Catholic friend what we do especially in this season as we prepare for Christmas. She told me that the Church provides a booklet of daily readings. These little books for particular seasons in the liturgical year give interesting information on Church history on one side, and on the facing page a verse from Sacred Scripture with a reflection.

The practice of praying the scriptures is much different than the more well-known study of the Bible. Verses are not chosen as proof texts to back up one's particular beliefs, or for memorization. It is not done to explore a religious theme or to gain scholarly knowledge, though any of these things may be an indirect result. Rather, lectio divina is a direct communication with God through the Word of God. My understanding is that one opens oneself to the divine Wisdom of the Holy Spirit. The passage is meditated upon, and perhaps a particular sentence will stand out. This is a personal message to carry throughout the day, so certainly it might be memorized as you repeat it over and over again. I am often inspired to journal my response as part of the process. Lectio divina allows a space for private revelation, which if it is truly from God, will not contradict the teachings of the Church. This interior experience of the divine through Sacred Scripture is then followed by spontaneous prayer.

The Rosary is the contemplative prayer par excellence. It was through the Rosary that I not only developed a personal relationship with Mary, but was led to a renewed relationship with Jesus. I felt a little uncomfortable in the presence of my Lord, understanding him with a greater reverence as I experienced the fullness of the Christian faith in Catholicism. Coming before him in the Rosary was facilitated through the maternal intersession of his Blessed Mother. Now I saw Jesus' life through the eyes of Mary, and my faith deepened with each encounter of the Mysteries, which are the stories of his birth and childhood, his saving mission, and his death and resurrection. When I was initially learning to pray the Rosary, I would read the entire Bible passage related to each Mystery, until I knew the story by heart. I still revisit those stories to keep them fresh in my mind, and I always use at least one piece of scripture for each meditation.

As a Protestant I had known Jesus as a friend and a savior, but not as Lord and King. I did not have the awe proper and necessary to worship of him. I was penitent in having been away from him for so long, and in treating him more like a genie that grants my wishes and solves my problems than with the honor that he deserves. That is not necessarily the fault of the Protestant churches I attended; it is simply my experience.

Another traditionally Catholic type of prayer is the Novena, a prayer said for 9 consecutive days, which may invoke the help of God directly (ie. Jesus, the Father, or the Holy Spirit) or through the intercession of Mary or one of the saints. Novenas often reflect a particular devotion, such as praying to Our Lady of Consolation in a time of great sorrow. If I am remembering correctly, the tradition of 9 days comes from the story of Pentecost in the Book of Acts, when St. Peter led 120 disciples of Jesus in prayer for 9 days, leading up to the coming of the Holy Spirit.

Having all of these modes of prayer available to me has enriched my prayer life inestimably. I have never before been such a prayerful, scripture reading person. Prayer is centering and comforting, it can be meditative, and it is ultimately transforming. Prayer defines relationship with God. There is no one, right way to pray, and in the Catholic Church I have found mediated such gifts and blessings as go beyond words. For those moments when I don't have the words, I can rely upon Sacred Scripture and those prayers of holy people of God whose inspiration echoes throughout the ages.

Called Home

I finished both of Karen DeBeus' ebooks, and I give them a thumbs up! I am going to take her advice in Called Home and declare a moratorium for a few days on researching and planning our homeschooling. This is the time when many mothers are getting their curriculum materials together, or those new to homeschooling are frantically researching methods. We have so much information at our finger tips, with tons of books, websites, blogs, email and Facebook groups, that it is easy to look to outside sources for validation and guidance. We are blessed to have all of this support, but it can also be terribly distracting. Developing a solid philosophy and having a method that works for your family is important, but "Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things will be added unto you."

I've actually had my planning done for months, but I still have been ordering additional books to use, and I've continued to dwell upon what Catholic Natural Learning will look like come fall. I have been praying rosaries for the intention of receiving the wisdom I need. It is dawning on me that there really are no limits to true freedom if I am always following the will of God. If my will is aligned with God's, then the boundaries of the Faith will be a garden of roses, and I need not fear the thorns. Our homeschool will be unique, like no one else's. So now I want to really focus on the word of God, prayer, and contemplation, and do nothing else. I will look to the Church for her writings on education soon and begin a deeper study of those teachings, but for now, it's just me and God (and Mary of course, who always leads to Divine Wisdom). It's time to go inward, be still, and listen. No FB groups, no reading of others' blogs, no planning in my journal. Just prayer and reflection, breathing, and sitting at the feet of Jesus.

Believing in Unschooling, Part 3

It appears that there are indeed Catholic families who practice radical unschooling, and they are not so dissimilar in their philosophy from non-Christian, radical unschoolers. I admit, however, that the internal struggle is still there. I vacillate from feeling the JOY of embracing unschooling and the creeping FEAR of...I don't know--the unknown? Worry about what other people will think? Worry that it won't work, and my child will "fall behind"?

It is summer, which is the perfect time to practice unschooling, when the public schools are closed and most homeschoolers are taking a break from academics. But I don't want to spend the whole summer with the spectre of what will happen in the fall haunting the back of my mind. The most logical thing to do, it seems, is to go from the known to the unknown--a basic Montessori principle. I know that my whole family is more joyful, and all of the relationships in our home have already improved, since I have increasingly focused on the ideas Dayna Martin puts forth in Radical Unschooling: A Revolution Has Begun. Just the night before last, for instance, it was getting late, and Beezy decided to rearrange her dollhouse. At first I wanted her to hurry up and put the things away so she could go to bed, but then I added, "but take your time!" She went from looking discouraged to feeling grateful. I respected her need to be doing that project at that moment, and it didn't take her long to finish.

My background as a Montessori teacher provides not only a philosophical touchstone, but a practical one; that is, how exactly might one apply Montessori principles to unschooling? Here is how it worked:  Children in my classroom would be asked if they would like a "presentation" of a particular "work", and they were free to either accept or decline. Most of the time they happily joined in the lesson. I think this approach could be successful with homeschooling lessons as well. Children naturally want to be able to do the things that they see adults and other children doing, and they enjoy having the attention of their parents.

Take a goal I have regarding the Faith. I would like to instill a routine of morning prayers and an evening Rosary. I can simply let my husband and daughter know that I am going to do these things and invite them to join me. They can either accept or decline the invitation. I do agree with unschoolers that internal motivation is much more effective in the learning process and in accomplishing anything in life in general, than the threats of punishment or disapproval hanging over one's head. Montessori used the word seduce, which in Victorian times meant to entice the child to wish to participate. The teacher sits on the floor with a project she is obviously very interested in doing, and the children will flock curiously to her side.

What do you think? I think it's an experiment worth trying, not just for the sake of the children, but for the sake of families. What if radical unschooling (which in it's best form could be called mindful parenting) could bring back the family as God intends it to be, the foundation and bedrock of a healthy, loving, thriving, peaceful, mutually supportive society? Wouldn't it be nice? Yes, but I don't think it is merely something that would be just great but is already too lost to be retrieved from the rubble.  It is possibility.  It is freedom.  It is hope.

Keeping Homeschooling Simple

Now that I am officially Catholic (huzzah!), I am committed to being a Catholic homeschooler. I am currently reading about this subject and the principles of a classical education. I still want to keep the Charlotte Mason method as our base, but since Charlotte was a classical educator herself, I want to understand how I can incorporate the ideas into what we are currently doing. To that end, I am reading, Designing Your Own Classical Curriculum: A Guide to Catholic Home Education by Laura M. Berquist. I want to use as many Catholic resources as possible next year. My concern is that I don't want to feel too much pressure to follow someone else's guidelines. I don't want to be overwhelmed with formality. It seems that when I am very focused on formal schooling, I feel impatient, frustrated, and tense.

When I went through our current studies in my mind, it did strike me as a bit much. In addition to reading, writing, and math, Beezy has piano lessons, and the homework and practice are time consuming. We are reading the Little House series for history/literature and just finished a novel of Kateri Tekakwitha's life (saints/history/literature/Native American studies). We still have to finish Tree Castle Island (the last in our wetlands ecosystem studies). There is also the Bible, the Rosary, the Catholic book of signs and symbols for children, and now the addition of a 4-H project! Add to that the daily calendar and seasonal/holiday celebrations, going to Mass, and religious education classes. We always participate in anything going on at the library and through Parks and Recreation. And we can't leave out chores and housework, play dates, arts and crafts, and bedtime stories. I could keep going, but I'll stop now, as I'm sure you get the point. Life is full, even when it seems like there isn't that much going on!

Since seven is one of those good, biblical numbers, I have decided to keep the formal homeschooling subjects down to this many. Reading, writing, and math will be done daily, Monday through Friday. Piano about 3 days a week, in addition to the lessons. The Bible/Rosary twice a week. Narration of something on most days, such as a saint novel, science/nature study, or Little House book. And the pet project for 4-H (oh, and Beezy is now the newspaper reporter for her club, so that goes under the 4-H category as well). These are the 7 regular homeschooling "subjects" that will constitute our main focus for the remainder of the school year. The rest of the learning opportunities can fall under the unschooling banner, pursued according to time available and Beezy's interests.

It's so easy for me to get excited about something new, and ambitiously throw myself into a renewed program for life, and then to forget to just live, to just be, along the way. Figure out what is most important to you, and keep it simple, adding additional things gradually, allowing homeschooling to be a "little way", so that it can ultimately become a grand adventure.

Self-Designed Catholic Homeschool Curriculum

As I increasingly orient our homeschooling to the Catholic Faith, I'd like to share what we are using for "curricula", considering that term in an open source, unschooling kind of way. That is to say, by way of seamlessly joining learning, life, and the Faith. Using my little way of the fleur de lis, with faith formation at the lily's center, I endeavor to be vigilant in keeping Beezy's home education Catholic. Our curriculum is self-designed and utilizes "living books" as much as possible.

The most important resource, of course, is the Catholic Bible. (We use the Holy Bible, RSV, second Catholic edition). I checked out a Catholic Children's Bible from the library but decided it wasn't going to work. It paraphrases the stories and then explains their significance. I could tell it would be tedious for Beezy and would not work well for her age level. Even for older children, though, this does not fit into the Charlotte Mason philosophy of using original sources and letting children make their own connections regarding the material. The Bible as it is written has always unfailingly held Beezy's attention. I only got the children's version because it was suggested on the Mater Amabilis online Catholic CM curriculum site.

I have been teaching the Rosary to Beezy, and we have covered all five Joyful Mysteries, reading the stories from the Bible to meditate upon as we pray the Hail Marys. At her age (8), one decade at a time is plenty. For copy work, she has written out the Our Father, the Hail Mary, and the Glory Be. We will continue with the Fatima prayer and the Salve Regina (Hail, Holy Queen), as well as the Apostle's Creed. This also covers memorization/recitation.

Since yesterday was the Feast of St. Joseph, I read a St. Joseph Story for Kids from parentsduty.com. I especially liked this, because it discusses doing chores as a gift of oneself. I could almost hear the wheels in Beezy's head turning! We are almost finished reading, Kateri Tekakwitha: Mohawk Maiden by Evelyn M. Brown. This is from Ignatius Press, which has a whole series of novels about saints. I read a chapter, or part of a chapter if it is very long, and Beezy narrates it back to me. This book also falls under the subjects of history and Native American studies. We previously read, Our Lady Came to Fatima. 

Today Beezy asked me who the "Glory Be" prayer is addressed to. When I told her, the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, she wasn't sure exactly what that meant. She knew the Father was God, and the Son was Jesus, but who was the Holy Spirit? I just so happened to have a book I was planning to begin today, A Young Person's Book of Catholic Signs and Symbols by Francis Tiso. This book begins with the symbol of the circle representing the One God, and then proceeds to the Trinity. Love those moments of synchronicity!

So there are several ideas for beginning a Catholic-based curriculum. You probably already have a Bible and a Rosary. I simply type the prayers on the computer to print out for Beezy to copy, and the books come from the library. Easy breezy lemon squeezy! Not all of your resources have to be Catholic per se. For example, we are reading Little Town on the Prairie for American history/literature right now, and we are using a basic, "Time and Money" workbook, plus a toy clock with movable hands, for math. The important thing is to avoid curriculum choices that are anti-Catholic or specifically eliminate Catholic historical content (or which contain a Protestant bias). You want to be sure that the Catholic point of view, or point of conscience, as it is expressed by Keeping It Catholic, is upheld.

Speaking of KIC, my book had not been sent due to a warehouse error, but I have been assured it has been shipped, so no doubt I will be giving my feedback on the Keeping It Catholic Homeschooling Guide soon! Tonight Beezy's religious education class, which meets weekly, prayed the Stations of the Cross, and I joined them, participating in this ritual for the first time myself. Ten days until I'm Catholic, thanks be to God!!

Intentions & Core Values

"Your reality becomes what you focus on."  --singer/songwriter Jewel

"If you aim at nothing, you are likely to hit it."  --Mary Kay Ash

I think we would all like our days to have a certain flow and smoothness to them, and for our goals to be reached easily and effortlessly. But like Mary Kay implies, if you fail to define your goals, your intentions will fly like arrows with no target, perhaps even hitting some helpless cow minding its own business, or lodging in your own behind. We have the best intentions, yet we find ourselves wasting time, running late, missing deadlines or burning the midnight oil to meet them, forgetting to visit our grandmothers, and feeding our families fast food. We may realize dimly that our priorities have gotten out of order, such as when we end up confined to bed with the flu because we have run ourselves ragged. Or maybe you feel unfulfilled, or that you wish your life had deeper meaning. Or perhaps there is something you are dying to learn or do but you just don't have the time or energy. Maybe you wake up each day simply wondering, "Where should I begin?" It's not that you have planned to fail, but that you have failed to plan (another Mary Kay-ism, I think!).

What are intentions, exactly? According to Phillip Moffitt's article, "Morning Awakening," in Yoga Journal (June 2012), "Intention is essentially the capacity to stay in touch with core values that you wish to live by as you pursue your life's goals and engage with others...Knowing what is essential to you allows you to respond to life's ups and downs with a clear mind and an open heart. Your intentions also support you in making choices and decisions, help you endure anxiety and stress, and enable you to bear disappointment and difficulty with equanimity."  Sounds great to me! So this morning I made a list of my primary and secondary core values. 

My primary core values are the things I spend time doing every day, that I want or need to focus on as top priorities. (I have always liked Mary Kay's values of God first, family second, and career third.)

1. Time with God -- This includes prayer and meditation; Bible reading; attending Mass; Catholic studies; and I plan to do a religious pilgrimage to the Our Lady of Consolation basilica in Carey, Ohio this summer.
I bookend my days with prayer. In the morning I light a candle, say a Hail Mary, and ask for guidance, support, and God's blessings upon my day. As I lie in bed at night, I pray a Rosary. We also say a prayer before eating dinner and at our daughter's bed time.

2. Family Time -- This involves spending time daily together as a family, as well as one-on-one husband and wife time, and parent and child time. We eat at least one meal as a family daily, and watch a movie together, walk the dog, or go on excursions together. My husband and I each spend time every day reading to our child and running errands, playing games, dancing, or other activities done individually with our daughter.

3. Home Education -- I am the primary person responsible for educating my child, and we spend about two hours a day in formal homeschooling, plus additional time with informal learning experiences. Our community provides many educational opportunities as well, from homeschooling co-ops to the library and Parks and Recreation programs.

4. Homemaking -- This includes meal preparation; de-cluttering, organizing and paring down; housekeeping chores; caring for pets; and decorating. I am hoping to spend less time daily with housekeeping once I have it caught up!

Secondary core values are those things that I may not do every day, but that I do regularly during the week or the month and that are important to my happiness and well-being.

1. Time with extended family and friends -- family gatherings, play dates (where I am friends with the other child's mother), visiting grandparents and other relatives, talking to friends on the phone who don't live nearby (or communicating via email, letter, or Facebook), getting together with other families for a picnic, barbeque, or dinner, etc...

2. Belly dance practice and troupe leadership -- This is my primary form of exercise and also provides a supplemental income for my family. My student troupe performs at local festivals and functions. I teach classes in sessions of 4 or 6 weeks for most of the year.

3. Time in nature -- This is so important for health and balance and does not have to be complicated. A walk in your neighborhood or in the woods, gardening, watching your children and animals play in the yard, visiting a farm, or going to a lake or park will give you the fresh air and contact with the natural world that humans are designed for and desperately need.

4. Extra-curricular activities -- Blogging, club membership, occasional travel, movies, and going on a belly dance retreat (only once a year, but a highlight and significant priority) are some of the things that round out my life with both responsibilities and recreation.

Everyone's core values are different, and they should be re-evaluated monthly. It takes about 21 to 28 days to form a habit, so if you focus on your core values for that long, they will become the reality of your life. They may change according to your needs, interests, or the time of year. If you find you do not have the time or energy to devote to your core values, then you need to honestly look at and document how you are spending your time. Anything that you do for at least an hour on a daily basis strongly reflects your values. So if you watch TV or spend time online for more than an hour every day, and you find yourself not having time to exercise, for example, then you know what you have to do! With a little planning and structuring of your days to fulfill the intentions you set, your ordinary life can become extraordinary and eventually resemble your fondest dreams.

Charity Begins at Home

The Rosary begins with making the sign of the cross, "in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen."  Holding the cross, the Apostles Creed is recited. Then comes the first bead, upon which the Our Father prayer is said. The next three beads are Hail Marys, and one meditates upon the three greatest virtues according to 1 Corinthians 13--faith, hope, and charity. Older bibles use that word, charity, while more recent translations replace charity with love.

Every time I said the Rosary, this Charity thing nagged at me. What does this mean? Is it the same as Love? Well, yes, but it has specific connotations, which I defined in my last post, The Blessing of Children. When I typically thought of charity, I understood it as giving to the poor and needy. Donating to charity. Charitable organizations. The biblical Charity certainly refers to this but expands the meaning to a lovingkindness, or compassion, extended to all of humanity. It emphasizes a leniency of judgment and a reflection of God's mercy. It encompasses a generosity of spirit and an openness of heart. Sacrifice is surely inherent to the concept. Love, or Charity, in 1 Corinthians 13 is never described as a feeling, but rather as a state of being, denoted by the verb "is". Love is patient, love is kind... And what it is not, ie., haughty, selfish, or rude. It does not keep an account of wrongs suffered. Charity is action oriented. It is about being generous with one's time, attitude, and attention, not just with one's money.

This passage is so popular at weddings, for the very reason that it is not about passing emotions, or romantic feelings. It "bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things." Faith and hope are high on the list, but "the greatest of these is Charity."  Love never fails. That is, God is Love, and He never fails, and likewise we are not to withhold our Charity. Christian charity is to be extended to others NO MATTER WHAT. Tall order.

Today that old saying, "Charity begins at home" came to mind. When researching homeschooling and the concerns of others regarding socialization (I can hardly stand the word anymore!), a mother wisely wrote that proper socialization must begin at home. People in a family need to learn to get along with one another first and foremost. Husbands and wives must honor each other. Children must respect their parents. Siblings must be taught conflict resolution. Good habits must be established. Pets must be taken care of. Responsibilities must be shared. Parents must not antagonize their children. And so on. An attitude of Charity must be learned and practiced beginning in the home. You don't feed the birds but let your children starve. You don't volunteer for the benefit of others in the community to the neglect of your own children.

The Holy Family

It follows that if Charity begins at home, then the extended family comes next in widening the circle. For example, the feelings and needs of a grandchild take precedence over the opinion of an adult friend or neighbor. This does not mean that you allow inappropriate behavior, but you extend an attitude of grace to the little one. You model to the child respect for oneself, for others, and for the environment. If you don't make the welfare of your own immediate and extended family a priority, how will the children know how to best operate in the world?  Why does it seem so difficult for some Christians to focus on Charity toward those closest to them? If you would not talk to a friend from church or colleague at the office in a certain way, why do you talk to your husband, daughter, wife, son, sister, or grandchild that way? And no family member should be treated as lesser than another. Think about whether you extend unconditional love and acceptance to your own family members.

Unfortunately, the model of many Christians is not one of Charity. Some Christians don't have their priorities straight, and they worry about what outsiders think of them and their family more than they care about the consideration of their own family members. These people go to church but live quite a different life the rest of the week. This kind of hypocrisy turns so many people off ever wanting to be Christian, or makes it hard to admit for some that they are Christians themselves. They don't want to be associated with the "holier than thou" crowd who see the speck in the eye of someone else but not the log in their own.

Sometimes I get caught up in what other people think of my parenting. I feel like an open sore being stared and poked at. What if I don't want to belong to a homeschooling co-op this year? How many times a week does my child play with other children? Can she read as well as others her age? Should I put her in some kind of lessons? If her behavior doesn't live up to the expectations of others, will they think it is because she is homeschooled, or because I'm not a good enough mother? Wow, what a pile of buffalo chips to have to step around! (That's buffalo poop, in case you didn't know.) Whose business is any of this, anyway? Should I live my life trying to anticipate what will make other people happy? I will tell you right now, unequivocally, that it won't work. So stop slinking around corners holding a mirror and watching out for the basilisk living in Hogwart's castle. You will become paralyzed and not be able to function.

None of this stuff matters if my child does not receive unconditional love and acceptance from her family, whether immediate or extended. And that goes for the grace of Charity when it comes to how others treat my husband and I, too. So what should you do if someone is less than charitable toward you? You are still required to love him or her. But sometimes you just have to walk away, blessing others to go in peace, protecting your home front from harm. Although a door may close for now, perhaps a window will someday open. So keep your eyes on the ball of Love, my friends. Give the best example of your faith and hope that you can through the power of Charity, and let it begin at home (but also don't let it end there!).

1 Timothy 5:8 - But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

The Body, Temple of the Spirit

"Now when the Day of Pentecost had fully come, they were all with one accord in one place. And suddenly there came a sound from heaven, as of a rushing mighty wind, and it filled the whole house where they were sitting. Then there appeared to them divided tongues, as of fire, and one sat upon each of them. And they were filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak with other tongues, as the Spirit gave them utterance." (Acts 2:1-4)

"Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God's." (1 Cor. 6:19,20)

Last night as I was meditating on my Rosary on the mystery of the Coming of the Holy Spirit, I pondered the meaning of the body as a temple of the Holy Spirit. And it occurred to me that there is nothing of environmental concern and responsibility that is not directly related to the human body. The connection between the care of our earth, which God explicitly entrusted to Adam and Eve and their descendants, and the care of our bodies is permanently linked and unbreakable. I would go so far as to say that this bond is a holy covenant between God and man. Jesus sent the Holy Spirit after his ascension to heaven so that we shall be witnesses to him, to the end of the earth. Our power to be witnesses is given to us by the Holy Spirit dwelling within (Acts 1:8). How can the Spirit fulfill this mission in a dirty temple? What movies and television programs you watch, what books and magazines you read, and what music you listen to does matter. But it doesn't stop there.

Our bodies do not belong to us; they belong to God. Everything we do or neglect to do in regard to farming practices and what we eat, the chemicals we use, our personal care and cleaning products, the cars we drive, the efficiency of our household appliances--literally anything you can imagine--directly relates to the use of our bodies as temples of the Holy Spirit. This goes beyond sexual behaviors or impure thoughts that defile this temple. We are to glorify God in our bodies. It does matter to God what food you put in your mouth, what deodorant and toothpaste you use, what is in your laundry detergent, whether or not you smoke cigarettes or drink too much alcohol, whether or not your corn is genetically modified, your choices to recycle and compost, or not, whether you breastfeed your baby or use cloth diapers. God does care whether or not you are physically fit. Spirituality and a holy life simply cannot be separated, in any way, shape, or form, from the care of your body, which cannot be separated from the care of Mother Earth. Period. Exclamation point! No ifs, ands, or buts about it.

So what I would like to do in honor of my self-declared Year of Mother Earth is to provide my readers with ideas for better ways of holy, sustainable living, which will help me keep my focus on doing the same. I will call this series, "Manna for the Temple." Stay tuned for product recommendations, organic growing methods, cosmetic and food ingredient warnings, and anything that the Holy Spirit inspires to keep us connected--body, mind, soul, and planet.

What Time Is It?

Not too long ago I heard a wonderful sermon at a Catholic church about being a good steward of one's time. Since tomorrow is my 43rd birthday, it seems a good occasion to meditate upon what this means. The tab on the Yogi tea bag I just opened reads, "Wherever you go, go with all of your heart." Does this include going down to the basement to face a mountain of laundry? Yes, because all of life is connected. I personally fritter time away every day for the reason that I don't know where to begin. "Do the next right thing" is a popular saying in Al-Anon Family Groups. But what is the next right thing? I started taking ornaments off our Christmas tree awhile ago but did not finish the task. This seems to be my standard operating mode lately. The time has come, my friends, to once again focus on paring down and pulling focus.

Here are a few suggestions I am planning to follow for the new year. Get your body moving again! I am on a long break from teaching my belly dance classes, but last evening I began working on a new choreography to teach in February. This gives a structure to my exercise. It doesn't work to vow vaguaries such as "I will get in shape" or "I will lose weight" or "I will eat healthier." You must be specific! I am determined to walk our dog for at least 15 minutes each day. In winter it is imperative to get out of the house every single day, breathe fresh air, get your vitamin D from sunlight, and do something active. Cabin fever does not settle in so easily if you regularly step outside the cabin.

What kind of food do you want to eat? For me, the time has come to make a hearty soup every week. Eating in season means root vegetables like carrots, potatoes, yams, onions, and turnips. Immunity boosting foods such as mushrooms, garlic, thyme, parsley, oranges, pomegranates, and grapefruit are especially satisfying. Being a vegetarian, I have to make a conscious effort to incorporate protein, such as peanut butter on whole grain bread, yogurt, beans, a few eggs a week, and whole grain rice. I have given my husband the task of making seitan weekly, which is a wheat gluten and soy sauce based meat substitute. Tempeh sandwiches, from soy beans, are another of his specialties. With more protein, I notice less cravings for sweets. Ginger tea is beneficial for the respiratory and digestive systems and is an invigorating substitute for coffee or black tea, although in moderation these are fine.

Sleep! Take advantage of the early darkness and go to bed when you are tired. Take time to wind down. Praying the Rosary while I lie in bed calms my monkey mind, and often I can barely stay awake to finish it! Turn your troubles over to Father God and Mother Mary. People, however you do it, just pray. Pray every day. Light naturally scented candles or incense and listen to music you enjoy. Center yourself by reestablishing daily routines once the holidays have passed, and once focused, go about your daily round in a spirit of reverence. Alternate doing something you don't want to do with something pleasurable. Try something new!

Go through your closet and dresser drawers. Whatever doesn't fit, doesn't look good on you, doesn't suit your personality or lifestyle, and doesn't make you smile goes to charity. Don't save it to sell on Ebay. If you want to keep it for sentimental reasons, lovingly store it away. Make room for clothing that fits the person you want to be, the person God created you to be. Recently I watched the Audrey Hepburn movie, "Breakfast at Tiffany's." I was always inspired by Audrey's simple, chic style as a single woman and had the advantage of a thinner body and vintage clothing stores in the city in which I lived. But as a homeschooling mother I need comfortable, functional clothes. I was surprised when I watched the movie again that Audrey's style could still work!

The little black dress, which Audrey made so popular, is not actually so little. A sleeveless black dress in a fabric that stretches a bit, in a length at least to the knees, is a perfect mainstay for the chic mother's wardrobe. Ballet flats and feminine shoes with a short heel are so Audrey. Casual clothing that is fitted rather than baggy is flattering, and sticking with mostly neutral colors is mandatory for easy dressing. This is the French way to dress. French women have less clothing than Americans, but their wardrobe foundations are in classic styles and are high quality. They change it up with accessories--jewelry, scarves, hats, shoes, belts--adding a flash of color and individuality. They keep it simple. So where can you find Audrey style? In a brilliant stroke of memory I flashed back to the Ann Taylor Loft store I used to shop at. I went to Ebay, and hurray, lots of Audrey Hepburn type pieces.

So settle back on a cold winter's night and watch "Breakfast at Tiffany's," "Roman Holiday," and "Funny Face" and remember how whimsical and creative you once were, how you spent your time dreaming and following your passion, how you delighted in just being you. Visualize, maybe even in the form of an artist's sketch book of magazine images you use to create collages, exactly how you want your hair, makeup, wardrobe, and home to look. Then visualize how you want your life to be. Do you want to get married? Travel? Write a book? Start a business? Meditate? Live in a well-ordered home that is a sanctuary? See it in your mind and feel it in your heart first, then take a step each day toward the goal. That is doing the next right thing. Take the time to take care of yourself, and love the person you see in the mirror every day. Then spread the love.