Today I received my Ebay order--and was disappointed. It really does usually work out well ordering clothing online! One of the blouses didn't fit well, and the other had a small hole. The jersey dress was okay but did not make me look and feel fabulous. It was fine, but I asked myself, "Will I feel great wearing this?" I could see bulges in my middle that were not flattering. Yes, I want to lose some weight, but we must dress for the bodies we have right now! Not the bodies we hope to have. So the whole order is going back to the seller.
This is a good lesson, though. Maybe since I am focusing on buying only items that I love from now on, I really need to shop in person most of the time. Mailing stuff back is a pain in the butt. The thing is, where I live I am an hour away from a shopping mall. But there is a boutique which sells Free People clothing less than a half hour away, and outlet stores a few minutes from that. There is a small department store in the next town, and there are thrift stores and consignment shops in the area. I think shopping in person has just seemed overwhelming since moving from the city. Now that I am focused, however, now that I am being very discriminating and have clear goals--indeed, a mission--I can take my time and not feel stressed about the process.
The weather has actually been cooling where I live lately, in the low 70s with low humidity, and cooler in the evenings. I have worn my Clarks booties a couple of times and have thrown on a cardigan and my jean jacket on occasion. I think I should venture into the attic and see what I have stored away for winter. I keep picturing my black dress pants in my mind and an orange blazer I got as an investment piece last year. I should go through all of those clothes too and pare them down to the essentials. Then I can really make my wish list and begin to seriously shop for those very few pieces I really need.
So exactly how many items does one need for the essential wardrobe? Again, this means that you only keep those items that you feel great wearing and that you actually do wear. Only those pieces which fit you well right now. If you are 5 pounds away from being able to wear a fabulous pair of pants, keep them but tuck them away. If you have things in your closet that are two sizes too small, however, find them a new home, or pack them far away in the attic or basement. Not every item needs to go with everything else, but you should be able to mix and match your pants, skirts, tops, dresses, shoes, sweaters, etc... In this way you will keep from getting bored with a pared down wardrobe. Getting dressed has been so much easier and fun since I began the joie de vivre adventure! You need high quality clothing, the best you can afford, and at the best price you can get it.
I don't think there is any magical number, but perhaps the essential wardrobe for fall would break down something like this, depending upon your lifestyle, work situation, and preferences:
4 blouses
4 t-shirts
2 pairs of jeans
1 pair of khaki pants
2 pairs of dress pants
2 blazers
2 cardigans
2 pull over sweaters
2 skirts
2 dresses
2 camisoles or turtle necks
(lingerie, pajamas, and exercise clothes are separate)
Twenty-five essential pieces seems reasonable! If that hits you as really sparse, think about all of the times you have seen magazines showcase five or so key items for the season and all of the different ways they can be combined. And consider that you will also have essential extras and accessories such as tights, leggings, socks, scarves, shawls, ponchos, shells, vests, jewelry, hats, belts and hand bags that will facilitate making the same clothes look totally different! What one person considers an essential may be an extra to someone else. The exact number in your essential wardrobe is not so important as streamlining your choices to show your style to your best advantage and to work your clothing easily into your life. Be honest--would you rather have one perfect cashmere sweater in your favorite color that makes you feel divine, or five nondescript, cheap acrylic sweaters that make you feel sweaty? Don't forget the all-important shoes as well. Your essential shoe wardrobe might include:
1 pair of loafers
1 pair of ballet flats
2 pairs of boots
1 pair of dress shoes
1 pair of workout shoes
1 pair of sandals (for Indian summer days...)
Could you get by with only 7 pairs of shoes (this is just for fall/winter--you would have 7 more for spring/summer)? It's a lucky number, after all. I think that if every piece in your essential wardrobe was good quality and you adored wearing it, it is more than doable. It would be sooo freeing! There is also the "investment piece" category, such as an expensive formal dress or luxurious silk blouse that you plan to have for years to come. There must be a balance, so that you have enough that you are not constantly fighting to keep up with your laundry, but not so much that you can't even see what is in your closet and drawers. French women can keep their clothes in good condition longer, because they launder them less. Rather than throwing everything in the dirty clothes after wearing it once, they air out their clothes so they can wear them again.
Perhaps you will want to make your own list and evaluate what type of clothing you need for all of your activities. Do you like to wear dresses, or do prefer to usually live in blue jeans? What items could be worn for both work and weekends? Maybe you need two sets of essentials, one for your job and the other for your home life. I have way more of some of the items than I listed above. But soon I will be putting the summer-specific clothes away. Maybe nothing will replace them, or maybe I will decide that my fall wardrobe still has some holes that need to be filled.
I imagine that the longer I practice this way of dressing, the easier it will be to continue to pare down and to ultimately establish my ideal essential wardrobe. When the temperature really drops, I will pull in my warmer winter clothes and evaluate again what I might need to purchase, and then come spring it will be time to do it all again. It is an ongoing process, as our lives, tastes, interests, and bodies change, as we grow as women and get closer to being the person whom God intends us to be. I believe it is a journey worth pursuing.
Happy purging, and joyous shopping to you!
Love,
dancingmommio
Wednesday, August 14, 2013
Tuesday, August 13, 2013
Essential Wardrobe Building
Let's continue the conversation of the essential wardrobe and how it relates to the French concept of joie de vivre. After all, the French are known for the art of conversation! Building one's essential wardrobe first means tearing down what currently exists, as we have discussed. Today I went back into my closet and removed some belts that were too small, a nightgown (I can't stand long nightgowns!) that I didn't even know I still had, some scarves, and other items. These too will go to the thrift store I previously mentioned, which is only open on Wednesdays and Fridays. This means that my three large bags have been sitting in my kitchen since Sunday, when I did the big cleanse. I think this is a good thing. If there was something I really wanted to keep after all, it would not be too late.
For example, yesterday I ordered three pairs of shoes from Kohl's. The dress shoes, pretty nude pumps, were cancelled. I am disappointed. Now what will I do if I need a dress shoe? I have the option of pulling my black high heels back out of the bag. Yet realistically, I wouldn't want to wear them. They make my once-broken knee hurt, and they kill my toes. With the back problems I've been having, wearing high heels would be stupid. The two pairs of ballet flats I ordered, one black, faux patent leather, and the other a purple faux velvet with tassels and silver metal embellishments, will arrive soon. Either of these could be worn with a dressier outfit. Yes, I want a pair of pumps now, because I want my essential wardrobe to be complete. But here is the next lesson: learn to wait.
If I buy something just to have it, but am not excited about it, I won't love to wear the shoes. Therefore, I won't wear them, and I will have wasted money. Instead, I must wait for the right shoes to come along. A local department store is clearing out their summer shoes right now, so they should have some new ones for fall soon. Or maybe if we go shopping for some new clothes and shoes for Beezy, I can look at the designer shoe outlet store about a half hour away. Perhaps when I drive to Ft. Wayne for my annual bra shopping at Macy's, I'll also look at shoes. Imagining how happy I will be when I find just the right pair will hopefully help me to be patient! Last year my parents gave me Amazon gift cards for Christmas, and I used them to finally purchase a pair of Clarks booties that I had really been wanting and needing. Once I had them, so many outfits were complete! It was worth the wait, and now I am excited to wear them again this fall.
That reminds me of a friend of mine named Cheryl from high school who I lived with for a year in college. Cheryl had a really unique pair of brown leather shoes that she wore all the time. And I do mean, all the time. Cheryl loved those shoes. When they wore out, she got them re-soled. Who knows how many years she got out of her perfect footwear. I bet she cried when she finally had to say good-bye. Ideally, that's how every item in your essential wardrobe should be. Don't buy good enough. Buy just right.
I think that the notion of buying the best quality clothing that you can afford doesn't go far enough. I would add to buy the best you can afford at the lowest price you can find it! It almost makes me feel richer to do this. It's like a frugal sort of snobbishness. I could pay $100 for a cashmere sweater, for example, but I don't wish to. Maybe I don't want to spend more than $45. Why should I have to spend more than I want to for anything? Think of yourself as so tres chic that they really should give you their clothing for free, it would be such an honor to them for you to deign wearing it. Try this trick. Write down the items that you desire on a list, being as specific as you can. I did this when I was a poor, single school teacher and had an unexpected opportunity to go to NYC for the first time. What would I wear?! I took my list into a Cancer Society thrift store and found everything on it, or nearly so. I was thrilled with my travel wardrobe for the Big Apple! I find that when I put the request out there to the cosmos, if you will, in a very intentional way, I get what I need at just the right price.
The most put together woman I know is my own mother. She always looks nice. No matter what. Even back in the days when she had small children--I'm the oldest of six--and stayed home with us, she always took the time to put on makeup and hot roller her hair. In fact, I had to go home from high school early one day, because my dad was out of town, and my mom's water had broken. She was about to have a baby, and I needed to be there when my other siblings got home from school. I ran upstairs in a panic to find her, and there she was in front of the bathroom mirror, calming apply eye shadow. I was shocked. "Well, I want to look nice when I go to the hospital," she said. My mom is sooo French! I went to the hospital to give birth in my pajamas! No makeup. Maybe I brushed my teeth.
My mom wears designer clothes, but I don't think she would ever pay full price for them. I think this is where I get my stubbornness from. The thrill of the hunt--consignment shops, thrift stores, vintage boutiques, clearance racks, and for me, Ebay--is part of the fun. You don't have to be rich to look rich. One key is to know what brands you really like. My favorite store is Anthropologie, and when I lived in Columbus, I could shop there in person. I couldn't afford the clothes at full price, but they had spectacular clearance sales, and I was picky. I only ever paid full price once. Now I get my Anthropologie on Ebay. I also like Ann Taylor Loft and Free People. Sometimes I find something great in a surprising place, like the floral rayon maxi dress I got at Target for about $7.00! Actually, I think my husband found it for me. He has really good taste and knows what looks good on me. That's another tip--find a free personal shopper!
I hate going to Kohl's stores. They depress me. Maybe it's the lighting; I don't know. But their online website is so easy to use, which I found out when I was really desperate for some new clothes, and I have been happy with my purchases. A Simply Vera pair of ballet flats I got from there hurt my feet, though, so I didn't wear them much and am now giving them away. I could have sent them back or taken them to the store to return, so that's my own fault. When ordering from Ebay, very often the sellers will list specific measurements for the items, so I have rarely received something that didn't fit. One pair of pants was too big, which I had my grandma alter. That's another good tip--find a tailor! A too-small shirt became a Christmas present for a friend. Know what styles and shapes look good on you, and usually you can tell what will work when shopping online. Of course, knowing what looks good on you comes with time. Trial and error is part of the game.
Well, I hope that gives you some more food for thought! Now, get back in your closet, be merciless, and make your wish list! Oh, I got my brown and black belts today on sale at Peebles. I think I will add a cashmere sweater, once I decide on what color I want, to my wish list. I also need comfortable tights that don't leave unsightly bulges around my middle. Once I have those things and my dress pumps, I think I will be done shopping for fall. Done! And isn't that joie de vivre?
For example, yesterday I ordered three pairs of shoes from Kohl's. The dress shoes, pretty nude pumps, were cancelled. I am disappointed. Now what will I do if I need a dress shoe? I have the option of pulling my black high heels back out of the bag. Yet realistically, I wouldn't want to wear them. They make my once-broken knee hurt, and they kill my toes. With the back problems I've been having, wearing high heels would be stupid. The two pairs of ballet flats I ordered, one black, faux patent leather, and the other a purple faux velvet with tassels and silver metal embellishments, will arrive soon. Either of these could be worn with a dressier outfit. Yes, I want a pair of pumps now, because I want my essential wardrobe to be complete. But here is the next lesson: learn to wait.
If I buy something just to have it, but am not excited about it, I won't love to wear the shoes. Therefore, I won't wear them, and I will have wasted money. Instead, I must wait for the right shoes to come along. A local department store is clearing out their summer shoes right now, so they should have some new ones for fall soon. Or maybe if we go shopping for some new clothes and shoes for Beezy, I can look at the designer shoe outlet store about a half hour away. Perhaps when I drive to Ft. Wayne for my annual bra shopping at Macy's, I'll also look at shoes. Imagining how happy I will be when I find just the right pair will hopefully help me to be patient! Last year my parents gave me Amazon gift cards for Christmas, and I used them to finally purchase a pair of Clarks booties that I had really been wanting and needing. Once I had them, so many outfits were complete! It was worth the wait, and now I am excited to wear them again this fall.
That reminds me of a friend of mine named Cheryl from high school who I lived with for a year in college. Cheryl had a really unique pair of brown leather shoes that she wore all the time. And I do mean, all the time. Cheryl loved those shoes. When they wore out, she got them re-soled. Who knows how many years she got out of her perfect footwear. I bet she cried when she finally had to say good-bye. Ideally, that's how every item in your essential wardrobe should be. Don't buy good enough. Buy just right.
I think that the notion of buying the best quality clothing that you can afford doesn't go far enough. I would add to buy the best you can afford at the lowest price you can find it! It almost makes me feel richer to do this. It's like a frugal sort of snobbishness. I could pay $100 for a cashmere sweater, for example, but I don't wish to. Maybe I don't want to spend more than $45. Why should I have to spend more than I want to for anything? Think of yourself as so tres chic that they really should give you their clothing for free, it would be such an honor to them for you to deign wearing it. Try this trick. Write down the items that you desire on a list, being as specific as you can. I did this when I was a poor, single school teacher and had an unexpected opportunity to go to NYC for the first time. What would I wear?! I took my list into a Cancer Society thrift store and found everything on it, or nearly so. I was thrilled with my travel wardrobe for the Big Apple! I find that when I put the request out there to the cosmos, if you will, in a very intentional way, I get what I need at just the right price.
The most put together woman I know is my own mother. She always looks nice. No matter what. Even back in the days when she had small children--I'm the oldest of six--and stayed home with us, she always took the time to put on makeup and hot roller her hair. In fact, I had to go home from high school early one day, because my dad was out of town, and my mom's water had broken. She was about to have a baby, and I needed to be there when my other siblings got home from school. I ran upstairs in a panic to find her, and there she was in front of the bathroom mirror, calming apply eye shadow. I was shocked. "Well, I want to look nice when I go to the hospital," she said. My mom is sooo French! I went to the hospital to give birth in my pajamas! No makeup. Maybe I brushed my teeth.
My mom wears designer clothes, but I don't think she would ever pay full price for them. I think this is where I get my stubbornness from. The thrill of the hunt--consignment shops, thrift stores, vintage boutiques, clearance racks, and for me, Ebay--is part of the fun. You don't have to be rich to look rich. One key is to know what brands you really like. My favorite store is Anthropologie, and when I lived in Columbus, I could shop there in person. I couldn't afford the clothes at full price, but they had spectacular clearance sales, and I was picky. I only ever paid full price once. Now I get my Anthropologie on Ebay. I also like Ann Taylor Loft and Free People. Sometimes I find something great in a surprising place, like the floral rayon maxi dress I got at Target for about $7.00! Actually, I think my husband found it for me. He has really good taste and knows what looks good on me. That's another tip--find a free personal shopper!
I hate going to Kohl's stores. They depress me. Maybe it's the lighting; I don't know. But their online website is so easy to use, which I found out when I was really desperate for some new clothes, and I have been happy with my purchases. A Simply Vera pair of ballet flats I got from there hurt my feet, though, so I didn't wear them much and am now giving them away. I could have sent them back or taken them to the store to return, so that's my own fault. When ordering from Ebay, very often the sellers will list specific measurements for the items, so I have rarely received something that didn't fit. One pair of pants was too big, which I had my grandma alter. That's another good tip--find a tailor! A too-small shirt became a Christmas present for a friend. Know what styles and shapes look good on you, and usually you can tell what will work when shopping online. Of course, knowing what looks good on you comes with time. Trial and error is part of the game.
Well, I hope that gives you some more food for thought! Now, get back in your closet, be merciless, and make your wish list! Oh, I got my brown and black belts today on sale at Peebles. I think I will add a cashmere sweater, once I decide on what color I want, to my wish list. I also need comfortable tights that don't leave unsightly bulges around my middle. Once I have those things and my dress pumps, I think I will be done shopping for fall. Done! And isn't that joie de vivre?
Sunday, August 11, 2013
The Wardrobe Cleanse
I had to sit and take a break! I think I overly inspired myself with "The Essential Wardrobe" article, on the tenets of French style. I just filled three tall garbage bags full of my clothes and shoes to donate to charity! I threw in some hats, scarves, and a purse to top off the last bag. I will still have to sort through coats, jackets, hats, gloves, mittens and scarves on another day. Incidentally, I pulled all kinds of weirdness out of that purse (gum balls, a white medicine tablet of some sort, diaper ointment, bee pollen, and a broken candy cane, among others things).
My husband was not surprised at all by these items, but he said, "You're giving that away? That's a really nice purse." I said, "Yes, but I don't need it, and someone else will just love it! It's going to be like Christmas for somebody, especially the woman who wears a size 9 shoe." He thought maybe we should have a yard sale. No! Not only do I want this stuff out of my house ASAP, but I explained that you have to give your abundance away for it to come back to you. I went on to tell him about our priest's homily on Saturday, which began with a poem about how when you give of yourself, tenfold comes back to you. "I don't even need tenfold!" I proclaimed. "Threefold would be plenty." Well, the man was silent. He doesn't often go to Mass.
We have stairs, so it was a lot of running down with the heavy bags. I also hauled shoes upstairs to my closet. The whole family's shoes have been thrown into a rustic trunk in the kitchen to try to keep them off the floor. Not only do they still get sprawled all over the floor, but nice shoes get squished, and it's a pain to try to find a pair in the box. It seemed like a good idea. It isn't. Most of the shoes I gave away no longer fit, since I gained half a size after giving birth. Why was I holding onto these? The only too-small pair I kept were souvenir snakeskin heels my mom got me in Italy. I am also holding onto my riding boots for now. Equestrian styles regularly make an appearance. I'll have to try them on and see if they are wearable.
How much lighter I now feel! I was merciless. If it was stained, had lost its shape, was faded, uncomfortable, didn't fit well, didn't make me feel attractive when I wore it, or it just bothered me to look at it for some unfathomable reason, I said good-bye. What kept me from panicking was the fact that I ordered two nice blouses and a dress from Ebay yesterday, so I will have a new item for each of the bags I'm giving away. And most of the stuff was still very nice for whoever gets it for free at the thrift store (you can take up to 20 items at no cost!) Thinking about making other people happy who can't afford nice things takes the sting out of the process.
Do a wardrobe assessment. Are you not wearing something because of one of the reasons I mentioned above, or are you just not having fun getting dressed? Always looking put together and pretty gives me energy and enhances my mood. It makes life seem more interesting and meaningful. I feel more creative and inspired. Maybe you "save" some clothes for church or going out to dinner that you could be wearing for every day life. You may have some formal dresses that you only wear for weddings or really dressy occasions; but otherwise, I give you permission to look nice even if you never leave the house all day. Oh, and just because you bought something once, or someone gave it to you as a gift, doesn't mean you have to keep it. Really.
Now make a list. Once you have purged your closet and dresser drawers, what do you really need to buy this season? Sometimes I don't wear certain things because I just don't have the right shoes or boots, or because I don't have the right top to wear with those pants. I have a very small butt, so sometimes I don't wear things because they droop, and I don't have the right belt! For fall, I really need a brown belt and a black belt. I could really use a new pair of casual walking shoes and low-heeled dress pumps. Honestly, that should do it. As long as my new blouses fit when they arrive this week, I should be set! Only purchase those items that you believe to be beautiful and know to be useful.
Less really can be more--and that too is joie de vivre!
My husband was not surprised at all by these items, but he said, "You're giving that away? That's a really nice purse." I said, "Yes, but I don't need it, and someone else will just love it! It's going to be like Christmas for somebody, especially the woman who wears a size 9 shoe." He thought maybe we should have a yard sale. No! Not only do I want this stuff out of my house ASAP, but I explained that you have to give your abundance away for it to come back to you. I went on to tell him about our priest's homily on Saturday, which began with a poem about how when you give of yourself, tenfold comes back to you. "I don't even need tenfold!" I proclaimed. "Threefold would be plenty." Well, the man was silent. He doesn't often go to Mass.
We have stairs, so it was a lot of running down with the heavy bags. I also hauled shoes upstairs to my closet. The whole family's shoes have been thrown into a rustic trunk in the kitchen to try to keep them off the floor. Not only do they still get sprawled all over the floor, but nice shoes get squished, and it's a pain to try to find a pair in the box. It seemed like a good idea. It isn't. Most of the shoes I gave away no longer fit, since I gained half a size after giving birth. Why was I holding onto these? The only too-small pair I kept were souvenir snakeskin heels my mom got me in Italy. I am also holding onto my riding boots for now. Equestrian styles regularly make an appearance. I'll have to try them on and see if they are wearable.
How much lighter I now feel! I was merciless. If it was stained, had lost its shape, was faded, uncomfortable, didn't fit well, didn't make me feel attractive when I wore it, or it just bothered me to look at it for some unfathomable reason, I said good-bye. What kept me from panicking was the fact that I ordered two nice blouses and a dress from Ebay yesterday, so I will have a new item for each of the bags I'm giving away. And most of the stuff was still very nice for whoever gets it for free at the thrift store (you can take up to 20 items at no cost!) Thinking about making other people happy who can't afford nice things takes the sting out of the process.
Do a wardrobe assessment. Are you not wearing something because of one of the reasons I mentioned above, or are you just not having fun getting dressed? Always looking put together and pretty gives me energy and enhances my mood. It makes life seem more interesting and meaningful. I feel more creative and inspired. Maybe you "save" some clothes for church or going out to dinner that you could be wearing for every day life. You may have some formal dresses that you only wear for weddings or really dressy occasions; but otherwise, I give you permission to look nice even if you never leave the house all day. Oh, and just because you bought something once, or someone gave it to you as a gift, doesn't mean you have to keep it. Really.
Now make a list. Once you have purged your closet and dresser drawers, what do you really need to buy this season? Sometimes I don't wear certain things because I just don't have the right shoes or boots, or because I don't have the right top to wear with those pants. I have a very small butt, so sometimes I don't wear things because they droop, and I don't have the right belt! For fall, I really need a brown belt and a black belt. I could really use a new pair of casual walking shoes and low-heeled dress pumps. Honestly, that should do it. As long as my new blouses fit when they arrive this week, I should be set! Only purchase those items that you believe to be beautiful and know to be useful.
Less really can be more--and that too is joie de vivre!
The Essential Wardrobe
Continuing with our exploration of joie de vivre, we must naturally pursue the topic of what to wear. It may seem counterintuitive, but I think that we often can't find anything we want to wear, simply because we have too many clothes. Much of what is in our closets and drawers are items that we never wear. Or if we do wear them, it is not because we love them, but simply because they are there. We are not choosing an outfit so much as dressing by default. Can you imagine having only those pieces in your wardrobe that you really like and feel great wearing?
I am arguing today for the concept of the essential wardrobe. First of all, if everything in your closet is jammed tightly together, you have too much stuff. Before anything else, put any off-season clothing away. I pack mine in plastic tubs and have my husband haul it to the attic. It is still summer, but we will be heading into a transitional time here in the Midwest. Some of your summer items will still be needed. You will need a few layering pieces, such as a jean jacket, a blazer, and cardigan sweaters. Ankle pants are still in style. I have two pairs from Kohl's that I have worn since spring, in a lightweight denim. One is a cherry red, the other a soft rosy beige. These can be worn right into fall.
When I feel hot I like my underarms to be free, so I wear sleeveless, floral dresses and camisoles/t-shirts, often with lace trim. If you get chilly, simply add a blazer, jean jacket, or cardigan! I prefer natural fabrics all year round, such as cotton and silk. Rayon also seems to breathe well. Wool is fine as long as it isn't itchy! A small percentage of synthetic fabric is usually okay as long as the majority of the blend is natural.
Now let's talk quality. This is key to emulating the French way of dressing. French women spend their money on high quality clothing but buy less pieces. They tend toward classic styles and neutral colors, using accessories to add a splash of pattern and color, or to reflect a current trend. They may wear one colorful item, such as a bright red skirt, while the rest of the outfit will be neutral. They do not purchase a ton of clothing every season in order to be up-to-the-minute in style. Being chic is more about a woman's individual personality and self-expression. The French woman knows what looks good on her and is never fashion's slave!
Lately I have been doing my makeup a la Jennifer L. Scott's "le no makeup" look. I'll talk more about the specific products I use and application methods in another post. The point is, I am customizing an easy makeup routine so that in a matter of minutes I can put my best face forward. I get dressed with the intention of this philosophy--always look pulled together. In order to always look presentable, getting dressed needs to be easy, which means paring down one's wardrobe to the bare essentials. You need items that you really enjoy wearing, that fit you well, and that can easily be mixed and matched. You need a few pairs of shoes and boots that can work into your wardrobe without fuss. Shoes make or break the outfit. Your essential wardrobe also includes paring down your shoes, scarves, jewelry, and purses.
Following the French way, you buy the best you can afford, and you can afford more expensive clothing because you prioritize quality over quantity! Today I am wearing a pink, white and black, cotton floral sun dress that I got from Good Will, which is a Kohl's brand. My hair is in a simple bun. I'm wearing silver, dangling flower earrings, my wedding ring, a pearl necklace, and a silver and pearl rosary bracelet. When I walked the dog today (in peep-toed, stacked black shoes from the Bass outlet store), I talked to everyone I encountered in the neighborhood, even people I didn't know. I felt friendly and confident. I was more open and genuine because I had taken the time to look pulled together--and that is joie de vivre.
I am arguing today for the concept of the essential wardrobe. First of all, if everything in your closet is jammed tightly together, you have too much stuff. Before anything else, put any off-season clothing away. I pack mine in plastic tubs and have my husband haul it to the attic. It is still summer, but we will be heading into a transitional time here in the Midwest. Some of your summer items will still be needed. You will need a few layering pieces, such as a jean jacket, a blazer, and cardigan sweaters. Ankle pants are still in style. I have two pairs from Kohl's that I have worn since spring, in a lightweight denim. One is a cherry red, the other a soft rosy beige. These can be worn right into fall.
When I feel hot I like my underarms to be free, so I wear sleeveless, floral dresses and camisoles/t-shirts, often with lace trim. If you get chilly, simply add a blazer, jean jacket, or cardigan! I prefer natural fabrics all year round, such as cotton and silk. Rayon also seems to breathe well. Wool is fine as long as it isn't itchy! A small percentage of synthetic fabric is usually okay as long as the majority of the blend is natural.
Now let's talk quality. This is key to emulating the French way of dressing. French women spend their money on high quality clothing but buy less pieces. They tend toward classic styles and neutral colors, using accessories to add a splash of pattern and color, or to reflect a current trend. They may wear one colorful item, such as a bright red skirt, while the rest of the outfit will be neutral. They do not purchase a ton of clothing every season in order to be up-to-the-minute in style. Being chic is more about a woman's individual personality and self-expression. The French woman knows what looks good on her and is never fashion's slave!
Lately I have been doing my makeup a la Jennifer L. Scott's "le no makeup" look. I'll talk more about the specific products I use and application methods in another post. The point is, I am customizing an easy makeup routine so that in a matter of minutes I can put my best face forward. I get dressed with the intention of this philosophy--always look pulled together. In order to always look presentable, getting dressed needs to be easy, which means paring down one's wardrobe to the bare essentials. You need items that you really enjoy wearing, that fit you well, and that can easily be mixed and matched. You need a few pairs of shoes and boots that can work into your wardrobe without fuss. Shoes make or break the outfit. Your essential wardrobe also includes paring down your shoes, scarves, jewelry, and purses.
Following the French way, you buy the best you can afford, and you can afford more expensive clothing because you prioritize quality over quantity! Today I am wearing a pink, white and black, cotton floral sun dress that I got from Good Will, which is a Kohl's brand. My hair is in a simple bun. I'm wearing silver, dangling flower earrings, my wedding ring, a pearl necklace, and a silver and pearl rosary bracelet. When I walked the dog today (in peep-toed, stacked black shoes from the Bass outlet store), I talked to everyone I encountered in the neighborhood, even people I didn't know. I felt friendly and confident. I was more open and genuine because I had taken the time to look pulled together--and that is joie de vivre.
Friday, August 9, 2013
Joie de Vivre
Joie de Vivre: a French phrase used to express a cheerful enjoyment of life; an exultation of spirit.
Joie de vivre "can be a joy of conversation, joy of eating, joy of anything one might do... And joie de vivre may be seen as a joy of everything, a comprehensive joy, a philosophy of life... Robert's Dictionnaire says joie is a sentiment exaltant ressenti par toute la conscience, that is, involves one's whole being" (Wikipedia).
Lately everything has been coming up French. It began with an article in More magazine about two women who swapped eating and exercise habits. One was French, the other American. The American lost two pounds in two weeks and substantially increased her energy level via adopting the French way. Plus, she didn't go to the gym in the mornings as was her standard routine before work, but walked to work and other places instead. The French eat high fat foods like cheese, real butter, pastries, and red meat. They also eats lots of local, fresh fruits and vegetables. And of course, wine is regularly drunk with meals.
I went to Paris in 1990 for eight days. I haven't lived in France, so I can't give you in depth knowledge about what it is like to actually live there. I did, however, witness people walking everywhere. The French are not in love with their cars. The cars I saw were very small by American standards and often dented. Evidently they don't worry over every bump and scratch. I also saw tons of bicycles. Something else that stood out was the seeming lack of makeup worn during the day. I was told that French women reserve makeup for going out in the evening.
After reading the magazine article, I started to incorporate the French eating habits. This involves a big breakfast and lunch cooked oneself, and a very small dinner. No snacking, and the kitchen is closed at 8:00 pm. Meals are leisurely, eaten together at a table with the family, and food is savored. Real food, not fast food, take out, or processed and packaged foods. One day this week I had a small but substantial breakfast of granola with organic yogurt and dried cranberries. Often I either only have coffee, or I eat a bowl of cereal (or some cookies!).
For lunch I began with a plate of hummus, carrots, organic blue corn chips, and dates. Usually that would constitute a normal lunch for me. But after that I cooked some scrambled eggs with organic cheese, onions, garlic, and mushrooms, and added curry powder and Trader Joe's everyday seasoning mix. It was so delicious! I forget what I had for dinner. I can tell you that after that large lunch, I had so much more energy than usual, and my mood was much improved!
I'm currently having camera trouble, so in lieu of featuring fall Gypsy Mama fashions, I'm going to explore the French concept of joie de vivre. I've ordered French lifestyle books from the library, and I've been inspired by Jennifer L. Scott's blog, The Daily Connoisseur, and her youtube videos.
Yesterday I felt very French. It was my husband's birthday, and also that of our cousin who just turned 8, so we all went to see Smurfs 2, which was, to my delight, set in Paris! Afterward we crossed the street from the movie theater and shopped at the farmers market on the town square. We got tons of produce as well as some homemade soap. In the evening we went out to a nice restaurant where a live jazz band was playing. I wore a simple but chic outfit and had followed Jennifer's "le no makeup" look (which, incidentally, is a significant about of makeup).
So I hope to keep up my French lifestyle aspirations, and I will share my journey with you. By the way, if you have read this far, be aware that this is the blog of a woman who has caught up on her laundry! At this moment I have merely one basket of dirty laundry in my basement. It is much easier to get dressed when one's clothes are clean, and life is certainly more joyful without that mountain of dirty laundry hanging perenially over my head. If I can do it, anyone can! Until next time, peace be with you...
Love,
dancingmommio
Joie de vivre "can be a joy of conversation, joy of eating, joy of anything one might do... And joie de vivre may be seen as a joy of everything, a comprehensive joy, a philosophy of life... Robert's Dictionnaire says joie is a sentiment exaltant ressenti par toute la conscience, that is, involves one's whole being" (Wikipedia).
Lately everything has been coming up French. It began with an article in More magazine about two women who swapped eating and exercise habits. One was French, the other American. The American lost two pounds in two weeks and substantially increased her energy level via adopting the French way. Plus, she didn't go to the gym in the mornings as was her standard routine before work, but walked to work and other places instead. The French eat high fat foods like cheese, real butter, pastries, and red meat. They also eats lots of local, fresh fruits and vegetables. And of course, wine is regularly drunk with meals.
I went to Paris in 1990 for eight days. I haven't lived in France, so I can't give you in depth knowledge about what it is like to actually live there. I did, however, witness people walking everywhere. The French are not in love with their cars. The cars I saw were very small by American standards and often dented. Evidently they don't worry over every bump and scratch. I also saw tons of bicycles. Something else that stood out was the seeming lack of makeup worn during the day. I was told that French women reserve makeup for going out in the evening.
After reading the magazine article, I started to incorporate the French eating habits. This involves a big breakfast and lunch cooked oneself, and a very small dinner. No snacking, and the kitchen is closed at 8:00 pm. Meals are leisurely, eaten together at a table with the family, and food is savored. Real food, not fast food, take out, or processed and packaged foods. One day this week I had a small but substantial breakfast of granola with organic yogurt and dried cranberries. Often I either only have coffee, or I eat a bowl of cereal (or some cookies!).
For lunch I began with a plate of hummus, carrots, organic blue corn chips, and dates. Usually that would constitute a normal lunch for me. But after that I cooked some scrambled eggs with organic cheese, onions, garlic, and mushrooms, and added curry powder and Trader Joe's everyday seasoning mix. It was so delicious! I forget what I had for dinner. I can tell you that after that large lunch, I had so much more energy than usual, and my mood was much improved!
I'm currently having camera trouble, so in lieu of featuring fall Gypsy Mama fashions, I'm going to explore the French concept of joie de vivre. I've ordered French lifestyle books from the library, and I've been inspired by Jennifer L. Scott's blog, The Daily Connoisseur, and her youtube videos.
Yesterday I felt very French. It was my husband's birthday, and also that of our cousin who just turned 8, so we all went to see Smurfs 2, which was, to my delight, set in Paris! Afterward we crossed the street from the movie theater and shopped at the farmers market on the town square. We got tons of produce as well as some homemade soap. In the evening we went out to a nice restaurant where a live jazz band was playing. I wore a simple but chic outfit and had followed Jennifer's "le no makeup" look (which, incidentally, is a significant about of makeup).
So I hope to keep up my French lifestyle aspirations, and I will share my journey with you. By the way, if you have read this far, be aware that this is the blog of a woman who has caught up on her laundry! At this moment I have merely one basket of dirty laundry in my basement. It is much easier to get dressed when one's clothes are clean, and life is certainly more joyful without that mountain of dirty laundry hanging perenially over my head. If I can do it, anyone can! Until next time, peace be with you...
Love,
dancingmommio
Wednesday, August 7, 2013
Yemen.
Yesterday I was driving in my car and listening to NPR. I learned that the U.S. is using drone aircraft to extinguish Al Quaida operatives in the country of Yemen. While this has been an effective measure, it is killing innocent people. The drones are not piloted. I listened to a man talk about the bombing of his children's school. Both of his children were injured. His son lived. His daughter bled to death. The people of Yemen live in fear of the terror from the sky. In trying to wipe out terrorists, America has become a terrorist nation. Al Quaida is able to gain more recruits as a result of the anger caused by the devastation we are perpetrating with these nameless, faceless drones.
If you are reading this, please pray that our country ends its culture of death. Pray for the people of Yemen, whose children we kill indiscriminately. This is a story we have repeated for far too long. Pray for our leaders to make better choices.
On the road to Golgotha Jesus said, "Daughters of Jerusalem, do not weep for me; but weep for yourselves and for your children" (Luke 23:28). Haven't mothers and fathers shed enough tears? Hasn't there been enough blood?
If you are reading this, please pray that our country ends its culture of death. Pray for the people of Yemen, whose children we kill indiscriminately. This is a story we have repeated for far too long. Pray for our leaders to make better choices.
On the road to Golgotha Jesus said, "Daughters of Jerusalem, do not weep for me; but weep for yourselves and for your children" (Luke 23:28). Haven't mothers and fathers shed enough tears? Hasn't there been enough blood?
Sunday, August 4, 2013
I'll Be Your Gypsy
Stevie Nicks (of course!)
Yesterday my husband and I went garage sailing along Route 127, a big, annual event spanning a long stretch of highway. I found a beautiful, 1950s porcelain Virgin Mary planter. Hopefully I'll get a picture of it up here sometime soon. But that isn't actually the theme of this post. As we were returning to our car, I fell. There was a big hole along the drive which was covered with tall, flattened grass, so it was not visible. I held onto Mary, and luckily crumpled to the ground without too much injury. Had my hands been free, I probably would have tried to catch myself with them and done more damage. As it was, an instinct, or divine intervention from the Blessed Mother, took over, kind of like dropping and rolling if you are on fire. Nevertheless, hours later my foot swelled up near the ankle, and it became increasingly painful. Some ice and Ibuprofen allowed me to get to sleep.
Some of you know that since February, on the first day of Lent, I have been injuring myself. I threw my back out that day, and it was a long road to recovery. Then I tore a big toenail partially off and had to have it surgically removed. My back has been an issue on and off, especially after a 9 hour drive to and from the state of New York. And now it is both my foot and my back that are sore. I feel like I am getting the message to stop dancing. I did decide not to teach classes this fall. For some time my students have been dwindling, and I have felt like I am supposed to be focusing more on other things. Yet I haven't stopped loving the dance! This morning I was up early before Mass, and I decided to check out fall fashion for 2013 online. I saw ostrich feathers and fur coats. Oh my. But then I saw the word "Gypsy". Now we are getting somewhere. Go to www.trendhunter.com/trends/dossier-online (Ethereal Gypsy-Inspired Photography) to see tons of pictures. If you have Tribal belly dance costuming, you are all set! Put it on mixed with some of your regular clothing, and head out on the street. Even the turban is in style.
I am inspired now by this convergence of fashion and belly dance, in the ethnic, Gypsy way, not in the sparkly Cabaret sense. That isn't to say you can't shimmer and shine. I think that perhaps I need to go inward to hear my dancer voice and ask her in what direction she wants to head next. I took a trip down memory lane and watched some of my old classes and performances on DVD. There has been enough time and distance to objectively evaluate my art, and you know what? I'm good. My choreographies are really quite lovely. My students and troupe have been just awesome. Never any drama--just the love. My niche really seems to be a blend of Egyptian, Tribal, and Gypsy inspiration.
Once my world was rocked by Hadia, and I had a conversion experience rooted in Egyptian, Golden Era music, I knew I had to set Tribal aside and really understand and better master classical belly dance. I had to get deep into the Baladi, and I'll tell you, the Baladi rhythm is my preferred rhythm, bar none. But, dear doves, I am not a purist. Looking back at those dances I have created, the unique genius is in the mix. I want to branch out musically, yet not leave the realm, if you know what I mean. I want to be a modern version of the Art Deco era Gypsy, with some Taheya Carioka and Ruth St. Denis mixed in, and a dash of the Mothers of the Bible, who were, after all, Middle Eastern. And yes, they did dance! So I'll be your Gypsy. I think I'll be back, better, stronger, maybe thinner, and all in one piece--when it's time. Still me, but different. I must simply find a way to put it all together, and allow my body to heal.
For fun and inspiration, I'll do a series of wearable, Gypsy Mama looks for fall, and I'll do it without buying anything new. I'll shop my closet, and you shop yours, and I'll meet you at the hafla!
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