2013 Flashback

I finally got my photos moved from the camera to the laptop! My casual fashion looks from fall could still be used for winter, with a change of shoes and additional layers, perhaps. At any rate, I had promised you, so better late than never! Perhaps these will give you some ideas for looking ahead to spring, or work for those readers living in warmer lands...

Here is my nine year old daughter, Beezy, and I on the American side of Niagara Falls in July, after being detained at Canada's Immigration Office. Husband thought the Falls would be better on that side, but we had no identification for our child! It was a scary experience, and we were never so grateful to be back in our own country.

prescription Polaroid sunglasses

filigree gold hoop earrings, Peebles

Ann Taylor Loft tank with lace trim

Beezy was my photographer for the pictures to follow, taken early in the fall. I think she does a great job!

French terry sweatshirt, Style & Co., Macy's

Anthropologie lounge pants, Ebay

Skechers sandals

silver and pearl Rosary bracelet, Ebay

Our Lady of Grace medal on gold chain

 Ann Taylor Loft blouse, Ebay

Anthropologie leggings, Ebay

Minnetonka soft sole moccasins

 sleeveless t-shirt, Simply Vera, kohls.com

Old Navy jean jacket, thrifted

denim shorts, thrifted

vintage necklace
silver filigree hoop earrings, Peebles
thrifted red purse

black patent flats, Famous Footwear

sleeveless abstract print t-shirt, Simply Vera, khols.com

short-sleeved empire waist sweater, consignment shop

cherry red ankle jeans, Simply Vera, khols.com

peep toe clogs, Bass outlet
gold hoops, religious medal necklace, & sunglasses previously pictured

Online Shopping Success!

Last week I received my online purchases, which were things I decided that I needed now rather than later. My new bras from Macy's are the Lilyette "Enchantment" full figured minimizer, which I got in two colors. This bra is comfortable and fits true to size. And as I hoped, I do look less busty and not at all squished down, as can happen sometimes with minimizers. I am small around the under bust in comparison to my ample cup size, so it's really important to be able to see my tiny empire waist! I feel like my figure now looks more balanced rather than top heavy. Do hand launder your bras, especially if you are wearing the same ones often, so that they will hold their shape.

The classic white Ann Taylor Loft blouse I ordered from Ebay fits perfectly! With a curvy figure, a fitted top is actually best. If you wear something too loose and formless, you will just look fat, or as if your bust is a shelf with a table cloth hanging from it. So not chic! The other top that arrived is a French terry baseball style sweatshirt that hits below the hips. This is a flattering length on me, and I've always favored the baseball style shirt. The fabric is so soft on this Style & Company top from Macy's.

My Style & Company chambray blouse with small polka dots is also a great shirt that fits nicely, and my Old Navy sweater coat in a soft brown color from Ebay is so warm and pretty! The only thing that didn't work out was the black belt I ordered from Macy's, which was the wrong length. Why is it so hard to find a good black belt that fits?!

I am actually excited about this fashion season for once, because there are many lovely, wearable options. Every conceivable pants length and style is being offered. With the continuing popularity of leggings and skinny jeans, the tunic or hip length top is a must have, and Anthropologie has some pretty choices, such as this one in chambray:

 

 

 

Hip or tunic length tops looks great with a skinny bottom, but you will also find trousers perfect for tucking in your shirt, and a whole host of pant lengths and widths, from ankle jeans to cropped/capris, to long, wide bottomed pants, with or without cuffs. Harem style, slouchy, fitted, patterned, dressy, or casual--you name it, and it's yours!  

 

 



Anthropologie jeans, fall 2013

 

I've also been noticing a trend toward pairing a casual tee with dressier pants or skirts, such as these combos on Cara Loren and her friend Amber. (Love Amber's pattern mixing here, too!):

 

 

caraloren.com

 

 

Pieces I don't love continue to leave my wardrobe, and new items work their way in, so that hopefully by the time winter is in full swing, I will have a minimal, essential wardrobe that works with my life and personal style. It is a one-piece-at-a-time venture, and patience is key. 



Confession.

Today I'm not referring to the sacrament of Reconciliation, but about the fact that I went ahead and did some shopping after all... Even if I lose my target weight, I will still be the same size in shirts, so I went ahead and ordered two from Macys.com, because I had coupons to use! Remember I had to send back the blouses I bought from Ebay, so I still needed tops. I also got the quintessential white, collared, button up shirt, an Ann Taylor Loft from Ebay, because that is one of those classic pieces that every wardrobe should really have. I am concerned it might actually be too big, so fingers crossed. I can always have it tailored, right? Oh, and I almost forgot the Old Navy sweater coat I also won on Ebay. In a neutral color, a classic to wear for years to come!

The other thing all women must keep in mind is that properly fitting bras are imperative. I usually shop for them at Macy's in Ft. Wayne, but I went online this time, so again, wish me luck! You really need to be fitted professionally, so go to a department store or Victoria's Secret and make sure you are in the right size. And when the elastic is shot and your bosom starts to look lumpy and/or saggy, you need new bras! Even if you are petite in this area, it looks better to have some shape and maybe just a little padding. This is not an item on which to skimp. French women spend most of their money on lingerie and skin care. I have a feeling I will look 5 to 10 pounds lighter when I am once again wearing an uplifting bra, if you know what I mean. (And wow, this would so not be something to discuss with a priest!)

I should be getting some of my items in the mail tomorrow, including a black belt, which I haven't had for years and really do need for practical reasons. I'll keep you posted on how everything turns out with these online orders, hopefully including some chic mom photos. I lost a bid for Calvin Klein boyfriend jeans, but I'm still on the hunt...

Hope you're having a prayerful, restful Sunday! (And let's all get to Confession soon...)

Essential Wardrobe Building

Let's continue the conversation of the essential wardrobe and how it relates to the French concept of joie de vivre. After all, the French are known for the art of conversation! Building one's essential wardrobe first means tearing down what currently exists, as we have discussed. Today I went back into my closet and removed some belts that were too small, a nightgown (I can't stand long nightgowns!) that I didn't even know I still had, some scarves, and other items. These too will go to the thrift store I previously mentioned, which is only open on Wednesdays and Fridays. This means that my three large bags have been sitting in my kitchen since Sunday, when I did the big cleanse. I think this is a good thing. If there was something I really wanted to keep after all, it would not be too late.

For example, yesterday I ordered three pairs of shoes from Kohl's. The dress shoes, pretty nude pumps, were cancelled. I am disappointed. Now what will I do if I need a dress shoe? I have the option of pulling my black high heels back out of the bag. Yet realistically, I wouldn't want to wear them. They make my once-broken knee hurt, and they kill my toes. With the back problems I've been having, wearing high heels would be stupid. The two pairs of ballet flats I ordered, one black, faux patent leather, and the other a purple faux velvet with tassels and silver metal embellishments, will arrive soon. Either of these could be worn with a dressier outfit. Yes, I want a pair of pumps now, because I want my essential wardrobe to be complete. But here is the next lesson: learn to wait.

If I buy something just to have it, but am not excited about it, I won't love to wear the shoes. Therefore, I won't wear them, and I will have wasted money. Instead, I must wait for the right shoes to come along. A local department store is clearing out their summer shoes right now, so they should have some new ones for fall soon. Or maybe if we go shopping for some new clothes and shoes for Beezy, I can look at the designer shoe outlet store about a half hour away. Perhaps when I drive to Ft. Wayne for my annual bra shopping at Macy's, I'll also look at shoes. Imagining how happy I will be when I find just the right pair will hopefully help me to be patient! Last year my parents gave me Amazon gift cards for Christmas, and I used them to finally purchase a pair of Clarks booties that I had really been wanting and needing. Once I had them, so many outfits were complete! It was worth the wait, and now I am excited to wear them again this fall.

That reminds me of a friend of mine named Cheryl from high school who I lived with for a year in college. Cheryl had a really unique pair of brown leather shoes that she wore all the time. And I do mean, all the time. Cheryl loved those shoes. When they wore out, she got them re-soled. Who knows how many years she got out of her perfect footwear. I bet she cried when she finally had to say good-bye. Ideally, that's how every item in your essential wardrobe should be. Don't buy good enough. Buy just right.

I think that the notion of buying the best quality clothing that you can afford doesn't go far enough. I would add to buy the best you can afford at the lowest price you can find it! It almost makes me feel richer to do this. It's like a frugal sort of snobbishness. I could pay $100 for a cashmere sweater, for example, but I don't wish to. Maybe I don't want to spend more than $45. Why should I have to spend more than I want to for anything? Think of yourself as so tres chic that they really should give you their clothing for free, it would be such an honor to them for you to deign wearing it. Try this trick. Write down the items that you desire on a list, being as specific as you can. I did this when I was a poor, single school teacher and had an unexpected opportunity to go to NYC for the first time. What would I wear?! I took my list into a Cancer Society thrift store and found everything on it, or nearly so. I was thrilled with my travel wardrobe for the Big Apple! I find that when I put the request out there to the cosmos, if you will, in a very intentional way, I get what I need at just the right price.

The most put together woman I know is my own mother. She always looks nice. No matter what. Even back in the days when she had small children--I'm the oldest of six--and stayed home with us, she always took the time to put on makeup and hot roller her hair. In fact, I had to go home from high school early one day, because my dad was out of town, and my mom's water had broken. She was about to have a baby, and I needed to be there when my other siblings got home from school. I ran upstairs in a panic to find her, and there she was in front of the bathroom mirror, calming apply eye shadow. I was shocked. "Well, I want to look nice when I go to the hospital," she said. My mom is sooo French! I went to the hospital to give birth in my pajamas! No makeup. Maybe I brushed my teeth.

My mom wears designer clothes, but I don't think she would ever pay full price for them. I think this is where I get my stubbornness from. The thrill of the hunt--consignment shops, thrift stores, vintage boutiques, clearance racks, and for me, Ebay--is part of the fun. You don't have to be rich to look rich. One key is to know what brands you really like. My favorite store is Anthropologie, and when I lived in Columbus, I could shop there in person. I couldn't afford the clothes at full price, but they had spectacular clearance sales, and I was picky. I only ever paid full price once. Now I get my Anthropologie on Ebay. I also like Ann Taylor Loft and Free People. Sometimes I find something great in a surprising place, like the floral rayon maxi dress I got at Target for about $7.00! Actually, I think my husband found it for me. He has really good taste and knows what looks good on me. That's another tip--find a free personal shopper!

I hate going to Kohl's stores. They depress me. Maybe it's the lighting; I don't know. But their online website is so easy to use, which I found out when I was really desperate for some new clothes, and I have been happy with my purchases. A Simply Vera pair of ballet flats I got from there hurt my feet, though, so I didn't wear them much and am now giving them away. I could have sent them back or taken them to the store to return, so that's my own fault. When ordering from Ebay, very often the sellers will list specific measurements for the items, so I have rarely received something that didn't fit. One pair of pants was too big, which I had my grandma alter. That's another good tip--find a tailor! A too-small shirt became a Christmas present for a friend. Know what styles and shapes look good on you, and usually you can tell what will work when shopping online. Of course, knowing what looks good on you comes with time. Trial and error is part of the game.

Well, I hope that gives you some more food for thought! Now, get back in your closet, be merciless, and make your wish list! Oh, I got my brown and black belts today on sale at Peebles. I think I will add a cashmere sweater, once I decide on what color I want, to my wish list. I also need comfortable tights that don't leave unsightly bulges around my middle. Once I have those things and my dress pumps, I think I will be done shopping for fall. Done! And isn't that joie de vivre?

Stylish Mom Ensemble #2

As Winnie the Pooh would say, Oh bother! My camera seems to be at the end of its productive life. The quality of photos from my latest stylish mom ensemble was not very good, but a few shots will work well enough. I will most likely not post a new look until I get an improved camera, which I really planned to do anyway, so it all comes out in the wash...

sweatshirt, Shopko Hometown; skirt, Ann Taylor Loft (many moons ago); indigo jeggings, Wal-Mart (a few years back); patent "leather" ballet flats, Simply Vera at kohls.com; necklace, flyingskirts.com

I wore this on the day I taught my belly dance class last week, so it was inspired by that vocation. I actually went to class dressed like this, and after warming up, I took off the sweatshirt and just wore a sleeveless top I had on underneath that matches the skirt, also from Ann Taylor Loft. I tucked the skirt up so my students could see my knees, which is very important, so it was a mini skirt over leggings look (very vintage 80s "now").  Too bad I didn't think to take my camera! The necklace is from Tribal belly dance outfitter, Flying Skirts. I highly recommend them! So the moral of this story is to take a particular element of your lifestyle and incorporate it into your everyday look. By the way, Paris fashion week showed designer sweatshirts worn with pencil skirts and heels! This is a more everyday version.  Here are a couple of closer shots of the necklace (my earrings are silver leaves):

For this hair do:  I used Pneuma styling creme and Real Purity styling gel (realpurity.com) on freshly washed hair. Since it is naturally curly and frizzes easily, I dried it only at the roots (with a diffuser), then twisted it up in back and pinned with a large clip.  I flat ironed the fringe. Easy breezy lemon squeezy.

And just for good measure, here I am wearing my eyeglasses by Cover Girl:

Beezy (my illustrious photographer) wanted to have her own photo shoot, so here she is wearing a vintage 20s, velvet tunic vest of mine, tied with a coat belt, and red ladies' gloves that I use for decoration (though I may incorporate them into a future ensemble!):

Special tip:  Line blue eyes with bronze eyeliner or shadow to make them pop!

Reflections of a Once Stylish Mom

I had my home (the downstairs that everyone sees, that is) all clean and decorated for Christmas by Saturday, Dec. 1!  While I told myself that this was an awesome thing, as now I could just relax for the Advent season, I felt let down by the end of Dec. 2.  The reason for this is that I had been working like crazy, preparing for a bridal shower I gave for a friend on Sunday.  All that house cleaning for an event that lasted less than three hours. Was it worth the blood, sweat and tears? Of course, I was more than happy to throw the party for my bosom buddy, and as long as I keep vigil so that clutter does not creep back in, I won't have to do any more stressful house work, well, maybe ever. (Okay, I know myself better than that.) Also, my sister said this was the cutest my home has ever looked! So why am I not satisfied?

Well, I like to beat myself up about the things I might have done better. And I was tired that day, so I didn't enjoy it as much as I might have. I had to drive to the next town for church that morning, since my RCIA (Rite of Christian Initiation for Adults) class had our Rite of Acceptance, so I couldn't miss it. And I hadn't slept terribly well the night before, in anticipation of the big day ahead. So I felt like I looked tired. My hair had gotten frizzy from running around in the wet mist. My living room was so crammed full of guests that I was sweating and kept having to open the front door. I got compliments on my house as well as my snazzy new ankle pants from Ann Taylor Loft, but I still didn't feel like a morning star.

One of the problems is that I was once so very stylish. I had a nearly perfect figure and could wear one-of-a-kind vintage pieces that I can't fit into now, even if they still worked with my lifestyle. I had the best wardrobe, which came primarily from thrift stores, garage sales, Target, and vintage boutiques. I took risks, I had flair, I was fabulous! Now I live where there are not any shopping malls, or one-of-a-kind boutiques, or even a Target (yes, weep for me now, my sisters...) But that's not really the problem. It used to be easy to look great with only a little makeup. Easy and breezy to throw something on without thinking too hard about it and look hip. Although that's not entirely true, either. I once had the time to play around with my outfits, accessories, hair and makeup. I'd get dressed up and find somewhere to go if I didn't already have plans. Now there isn't anywhere to go. Dress up to walk the dog, run to the grocery, visit the library or my grandparents? And my husband doesn't help--he seems to think I am gorgeous and desirable no matter what. Wait--that's a good thing, right? Well, yes, but it doesn't help me try very hard to find the balance I so desperately need between being stylish and functional.

 Stylish Mom Icon, Katie Holmes

Strange things happen accidentally, though, that can help us see beyond our tunnel vision. Is there no way out of this beauty malaise? One day recently I had gotten hot and had taken my sweater off and was wearing only a tunic length, simple camisole top. When I got chilly, I grabbed the nearest thing, a rose-colored Western style shirt of my husband's. It fit perfectly. I looked pretty sexy if I do say so myself! Even our daughter remarked on how well it suited me. "After I wash this, I'm putting it in my closet," I told my husband. I was serious. I am that desperate.

I have bought new clothes, and I am cheered and inspired for a short time, but then my hair still doesn't work right, or the outfit doesn't work as well as planned, or I compare myself to someone who is thinner and has more money to spend on clothes. Even if I wouldn't dream of wearing shorts with lacy patterned tights in December (like the guest of honor wore to her bridal shower), I want to feel as attractive as she always looks. But I don't want to dress like her; I want to dress like me. How, for the love of all that is chic in the world-- exactly how? I found some great, stylish mom blogs today, and that got me thinking in a better direction. A key theme is to shop your own closet. Comfort is a necessity, but a few festive accessories can glam up an otherwise basic outfit when you need to be dressier. Layers bring out creativity and personality and help you change your pieces up. Getting rid of clothes you don't love and don't wear is a vital step, so that you can see the clothes that you will look forward to wearing.

If the sun had shined brightly today, I might not have fretted so. After all, this is trivial stuff. These are not Real Problems. But there is a long, long winter ahead here in Ohio. I want to feel like the best me I can be in every area of life. I want to feel lovely while I sit in my cozy home all decorated for Christmas. Most of the shopping is even done already! I don't want to waste a moment wishing for a better hair day, or cuter shoes, or a scarf that matches my coat better. So it is time to get myself together, once and for all! Or at least until spring, when I will have to figure out what to wear again. So stay posted. I'm going to be ambitious and put together some outfits with stuff I already have and become one of those savvy mom bloggers. We will get through these dark grey days in color, texture, beauty, and warmth--together!!

What Time Is It?

Not too long ago I heard a wonderful sermon at a Catholic church about being a good steward of one's time. Since tomorrow is my 43rd birthday, it seems a good occasion to meditate upon what this means. The tab on the Yogi tea bag I just opened reads, "Wherever you go, go with all of your heart." Does this include going down to the basement to face a mountain of laundry? Yes, because all of life is connected. I personally fritter time away every day for the reason that I don't know where to begin. "Do the next right thing" is a popular saying in Al-Anon Family Groups. But what is the next right thing? I started taking ornaments off our Christmas tree awhile ago but did not finish the task. This seems to be my standard operating mode lately. The time has come, my friends, to once again focus on paring down and pulling focus.

Here are a few suggestions I am planning to follow for the new year. Get your body moving again! I am on a long break from teaching my belly dance classes, but last evening I began working on a new choreography to teach in February. This gives a structure to my exercise. It doesn't work to vow vaguaries such as "I will get in shape" or "I will lose weight" or "I will eat healthier." You must be specific! I am determined to walk our dog for at least 15 minutes each day. In winter it is imperative to get out of the house every single day, breathe fresh air, get your vitamin D from sunlight, and do something active. Cabin fever does not settle in so easily if you regularly step outside the cabin.

What kind of food do you want to eat? For me, the time has come to make a hearty soup every week. Eating in season means root vegetables like carrots, potatoes, yams, onions, and turnips. Immunity boosting foods such as mushrooms, garlic, thyme, parsley, oranges, pomegranates, and grapefruit are especially satisfying. Being a vegetarian, I have to make a conscious effort to incorporate protein, such as peanut butter on whole grain bread, yogurt, beans, a few eggs a week, and whole grain rice. I have given my husband the task of making seitan weekly, which is a wheat gluten and soy sauce based meat substitute. Tempeh sandwiches, from soy beans, are another of his specialties. With more protein, I notice less cravings for sweets. Ginger tea is beneficial for the respiratory and digestive systems and is an invigorating substitute for coffee or black tea, although in moderation these are fine.

Sleep! Take advantage of the early darkness and go to bed when you are tired. Take time to wind down. Praying the Rosary while I lie in bed calms my monkey mind, and often I can barely stay awake to finish it! Turn your troubles over to Father God and Mother Mary. People, however you do it, just pray. Pray every day. Light naturally scented candles or incense and listen to music you enjoy. Center yourself by reestablishing daily routines once the holidays have passed, and once focused, go about your daily round in a spirit of reverence. Alternate doing something you don't want to do with something pleasurable. Try something new!

Go through your closet and dresser drawers. Whatever doesn't fit, doesn't look good on you, doesn't suit your personality or lifestyle, and doesn't make you smile goes to charity. Don't save it to sell on Ebay. If you want to keep it for sentimental reasons, lovingly store it away. Make room for clothing that fits the person you want to be, the person God created you to be. Recently I watched the Audrey Hepburn movie, "Breakfast at Tiffany's." I was always inspired by Audrey's simple, chic style as a single woman and had the advantage of a thinner body and vintage clothing stores in the city in which I lived. But as a homeschooling mother I need comfortable, functional clothes. I was surprised when I watched the movie again that Audrey's style could still work!

The little black dress, which Audrey made so popular, is not actually so little. A sleeveless black dress in a fabric that stretches a bit, in a length at least to the knees, is a perfect mainstay for the chic mother's wardrobe. Ballet flats and feminine shoes with a short heel are so Audrey. Casual clothing that is fitted rather than baggy is flattering, and sticking with mostly neutral colors is mandatory for easy dressing. This is the French way to dress. French women have less clothing than Americans, but their wardrobe foundations are in classic styles and are high quality. They change it up with accessories--jewelry, scarves, hats, shoes, belts--adding a flash of color and individuality. They keep it simple. So where can you find Audrey style? In a brilliant stroke of memory I flashed back to the Ann Taylor Loft store I used to shop at. I went to Ebay, and hurray, lots of Audrey Hepburn type pieces.

So settle back on a cold winter's night and watch "Breakfast at Tiffany's," "Roman Holiday," and "Funny Face" and remember how whimsical and creative you once were, how you spent your time dreaming and following your passion, how you delighted in just being you. Visualize, maybe even in the form of an artist's sketch book of magazine images you use to create collages, exactly how you want your hair, makeup, wardrobe, and home to look. Then visualize how you want your life to be. Do you want to get married? Travel? Write a book? Start a business? Meditate? Live in a well-ordered home that is a sanctuary? See it in your mind and feel it in your heart first, then take a step each day toward the goal. That is doing the next right thing. Take the time to take care of yourself, and love the person you see in the mirror every day. Then spread the love.