The Return of the Light

In two days, on December 21, the Winter Solstice will be upon us. This is both the first day of winter and the return of the light. It marks the shortest day and the longest night of the year. In Catholic terms, we might think of the dark night of the soul which opens into grace. The return of the sun becomes the return of the Son.

The sun shines today, as it did yesterday. And yesterday I greeted the morning with a reflection of that light in my soul. Then quickly a darkness fell upon me from without that seeped its way into my bones. The day grew cloudy, literally and metaphorically. I took a long walk in the cold and snow as the sun was setting, almost defying Nature to try and take me. But I was praying a rosary on my way, though my fingers felt that they might freeze stiff. I stopped and sat on a bench in the Rosary Garden, facing statues of an angel and the Blessed Virgin Mary being slowly covered in falling snow. My tears fell. I finally stood again before I became permanently glued to the marble I was sitting on.

A brief return of light eventually came, only to be swallowed in more darkness. I felt the failure of being only human. The limitations of understanding and forgiveness. The hands desiring to pull me into the pit of despair.

Today is a do-over. One day still alive, one day wiser. There are things on earth that Heaven alone can fix. There is very little of life in our control. But how we respond is entirely our own responsibility. Do we choose to blame another? To blame ourselves? To blame God? Or do we choose to do the next right thing? To turn our hearts more completely toward the United Hearts of Jesus and Mary. To lean not unto our own understanding nor to rely upon our own strength. No power in the world or in the abyss of hell can rob us of the joy of the Lord.

Our failures? They are a reminder that our dignity comes from being sons and daughters of Almighty God. Humility lies in surrendering our lives and wills to the Divine plan. Even if it doesn't make sense. Even if it doesn't seem fair.

Perfectionism is the most soul-sucking of modern diseases. Expecting perfection from ourselves or others is a sure path to death of the soul and the destruction of loving relationships. I failed again to speak and act perfectly in my response. But I have grown. I have done my best in my frailty and weakness. Perfectionism is the enemy, and I am a Warrior. A Priestess. A woman made in the image and likeness of God, complete in his eyes even if carrying the wounds of Eve.

Find that inner stillness and silence today. Just breathe. Anticipate the return of the Light.

Dark Night of the Soul

I think that I may be in the midst of what St. John of the Cross, and in more modern times, spiritual writer Caroline Myss, called the "dark night of the soul." I don't feel cut off from God's presence, which has happened to many devout Christian people, even Mother Teresa, who experienced this spiritual state for something like 30 years. For this I am grateful. But perhaps I am cutting myself off from God's healing and comforting love when I allow the weight of the world to fall on my heart.

Lately the news all seems to conspire toward hopelessness and despair. I watched a Nightline video of school children, particularly those with severe behavior disorders and autism, being subjected to barbaric measures such as electric shock therapy. The use of padded "quiet" cells children are locked into is becoming more prevalent. A mother was interviewed whose son died of cardiac arrest after suffering brutality at the hands of adults at his school. He is not the only child to die such an unthinkable death. Unthinkable especially in America, the land of the free. I wondered to myself, what is next, the return of the lobotomy? The night I viewed this news report, I had a nightmare that freaked me out so badly I woke up, frozen in my bed, and didn't shut my eyes again until the sun shined through my windows. The dream involved axes and people's heads. I still haven't quite shaken it. Maybe because it seems like it wasn't just a dream. Here is the link to the video:

http://www.upworthy.com/something-sickening-is-happening-to-some-of-our-schoolchildren-and-you-probably-have-no-idea?c=ufb1

Daily it seems we hear of more government violations of our freedoms. The latest I have learned about is the use of drone planes coming back from the Middle East being trained to fly over the U.S. to spy on citizens. Obamacare, the Common Core Curriculum in our schools, rampant government tracking of private information, and now the drones--it all points to increasing control over our everyday lives. I have even read that mandatory micro-chipping of humans will be legal under the Affordable Care Act. The government shut down and yet another school shooting recently, and I feel like seriously leaving the country. If something drastic isn't done soon, we will no longer be living in a free society. I think we are reaching a tipping point, and a revolution is coming.

Yesterday I signed a petition to stop Common Core in Ohio. I have signed petitions and sent money to the Pro-Life Alliance to overturn Roe vs. Wade by passing a Life at Conception Act. Today I signed a petition against the use of drone planes in the U.S. and other violations of liberty. I'm prepared to march, to sit in protest, to do what must be done to save my country. It isn't just me falling into a dark night of the soul. It's Lady Liberty.

Don't forget that Our Lady has told us that the Rosary is our strongest weapon against evil. This simple prayer and meditation has won battles and saved countless souls. What we are witnessing in this country, today, is spiritual warfare. But we are distracted into not seeing the forest for the trees. In the name of Jesus, demons flee. Say His name out loud, and they will leave. Invoke the protection of our Blessed Mother, and she will hear your cries. Our Lord and Our Lady of Victory will win the day, but we must do our part.

If you are aware of anything at all that can be done to save our country from going to hell in a hand basket, please leave the information in the comment box rather than on Facebook, so that everyone, and not just those groups in which I post this blog, can read it. As Rafiki said in "The Lion King" when Simba was destined to reclaim his rightful throne from the evil Scar, "It is time!"