Converting Your Husband with Your Behavior | Biblical Womanhood Series #3

I think that the sensibilities of modern women are offended, thanks to the insidious influence of feminism, by the idea that a wife's submission benefits her husband. This patriarchal structure oppresses women, they say, and does not allow women to develop themselves. Yet it's entirely biblical that a woman should happily submit to her husband, and that this benefits not only him, but herself as well. And with a careful reading of Scripture, we see the Beauty in God's ordered plan. Today we are looking at 1 Peter 3: 1-7, Catholic Confraternity Version. 

In like manner also let wives be subject to their husbands; so that even if any do not believe the word, they may without word be won through the behavior of their wives, observing reverently your chaste behavior. Let not theirs be the outward adornment of braiding the hair, or of wearing gold, or of putting on robes; but let it be the inner life of the heart, in the imperishableness of a quiet and gentle spirit, which is of great price in the sight of God. For in this manner in old times the holy women also who hoped in God adorned themelves, while being subject to their husbands. So Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. You are daughters of hers when you do what is right and fear no disturbance. 

At the beginning of this passage we see that some women will be married to unbelievers, so if you are one of those, take heart. God was and is thinking of you and is giving you guidance in a difficult situation. Even if you married a Christian man, he could lose his faith, or he could be lukewarm and fail to take his family to church or be the spiritual head of the home. Perhaps he has lost his way through an addiction, or he suffers physical disabilities or a mental illness that make it more likely that he will fall short in his vocation as husband and father. 

The way out--of what may seem unbearable and feel like hell--for the wife is not necessarily to divorce her husband (though of course in the case of abuse, women need to get to safety and seek help), but rather to offer her suffering up to God for the bestowal of grace upon her husband. There is purpose in suffering. We must unite our afflictions to those of Jesus on the cross and lay it all at his feet.

And as the Bible assures us, we may win our husbands to a conversion by our behavior, by imitating the holy women of old. If New Testament women were charged with being submissive to their husbands as Sara was to Abraham in the Old Testament, then surely this message is still relevant for us today; and we additionally have New Testament examples such as Mary, the Mother of Our Lord, to show us the way. 

In some translations the word conversation is used instead of behavior, and I think that guarding our tongues is key to our husbands viewing us with reverence. Chastising our husbands never results in a good outcome, and often doing so escalates a potentially volatile situation, causing serious and even irreparable harm. If we cultivate that pearl of great price, a quiet and gentle spirit, we will please God, which is the ultimate point. 

Sometimes when I'm angry with my husband, or feeling taken for granted and unappreciated, my spirit becomes rebellious. I want to go on strike as a wife and not do things for my husband, like his laundry. But then I tell myself that I'm doing it for Jesus, and that way I can do it with joy and not resentment. 

Earlier this week I wanted my husband to do something for me, but he said no, not today. He had too many things that needed to be done, like paying the bills, and he needed my help with our home-based business. I was tempted to argue, and even reasoned with him that the task would only take a couple minutes. Again he said no, it would take longer than that, and by his tone I understood that my requiring his help even with something I thought would be simple, on this particular day would cause him stress. I remembered about being submissive, and I accepted his authority. 

Submission has to become a habit if we women are to be happy in our marriages. Not only will it also make our husbands happy, it will be a sacrifice of immense value to God, and it will help to build up the whole Body of Christ, which is crumbling. What you do to help your husband get to Heaven with your authentic Christian femininity can lead him to be a better man, you to be a better woman, and repairs the Church in ways you may never know. But know without doubt that it does. 

As far as how we dress and style our hair, I don't think this passage suggests that we literally don't wear braids. One sermon I heard online talked about how the pagan women of ancient Greece wore such elaborate braids that they looked like Medusa. So likely the message is to focus on our inward Beauty and keep our outward adornment modest and simple. In other words, don't try to look like the Kardashians, and don't act in worldly ways. 

Husbands, in like manner dwell with your wives considerately, paying honor to the woman as to the weaker vessel, and as co-heir of the grace of life, that your prayers be not hindered. 

It is fine for a wife to gently remind her husband of his duty to her, and how he is to treat her. However, we must not do it with rebuke, treating him like a naughty child. I think it's also interesting that being the weaker vessel is put forth as a reason to honor the woman. Feminism, conversely, teaches that women are no different than men (and transgenderism has followed as a logical conclusion!), and that we should be offended at the suggestion that we are the weaker sex in any way. Personally, I am relieved that I am designed to be weaker than my husband, and I admire his physical strength and applaud him for it! 

It's clear as well that Christianity teaches that women are equal in dignity to men, equal children of God, made in his image and likeness. This was a radical view in those times. And that last admonition to husbands, that your prayers be not hindered, makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. A husband who fails in his duty to his wife and who does not love her in the proper manner (we will see that it is indeed sacrificial love he is called to in another passage) will not have his prayers heard or answered. God will turn a deaf ear to such a man. The wife's submissive, gentle spirit will help to safeguard her husband from damnation. 

Women, allow your husbands to lead even if you don't think they do a stellar job at it. Allow them to provide for you and your children. Stop emasculating them with your harsh tongues and rebelliousness. Get out of their way and let them step up to the plate. Even if they fail, serve them as you would serve Jesus. We can find rest in our biblical womanhood, fearing no disturbance. 

Additional Note: 

Though divorce is strongly discouraged in the Catholic Church, allowance is made in canon law for physical separation, and even divorce, in certain cases. Future posts will explore the idea of mutual submission and the conditions under which it may be necessary for a husband and wife to separate for a period of time. 

Why the Abrogation of the Traditional Latin Mass Might Be a Good Thing | My Thoughts As a Catholic Convert

 

So Pope Francis dropped a bomb today with his motu proprio, "Traditionis Custodes," which effectively abrogates the "Traditional Latin Mass" (TLM), or Extraordinary Form of the Roman Rite. Here is a summary of the situation without all the hysterics attached to it: https://catholic-link.org/pope-francis-new-motu-proprio-traditionis-custodes/.

Basically, the sweeping restrictions of the new motu proprio make null and void Pope Benedict XVI's "Summorum Pontificum" of 2007. After consulting with bishops all over the world, Francis decided that this change was necessary for the good of the unity of the Church. 

I started attending Mass in the fall of 2011, and my conversion to the Catholic Faith became official with my confirmation in March of 2013, which was the same month and year that the Francis pontificate began. I was aware of the TLM, but I went through RCIA and attended Mass at "Novus Ordo" churches, where only the Ordinary Form of the Roman Rite was celebrated. I was converted through this form and was perfectly happy with it. I was glad that the Mass, though different in significant ways from my former experiences as a Protestant, was not entirely foreign. 

However, as I was a religious seeker prone to much research on the subject, I encountered the detractors of the "Novus Ordo" Mass and Vatican Counsel II early on, and their messages did instill doubt and engender criticism on my part of the Masses I attended. Traditionalists will insist, for example, that receiving Communion in the hand is a desecration of the Eucharist, that the TLM is the more reverent form of the Mass, and that there should not be female altar servers, among many other "liturgical abuses" that they point to. 

In a county adjacent to mine there is a church that has offered the TLM once a month, and I took the opportunity to attend it twice.  I enjoyed the Gregorian Chant, and admittedly the quality of music in Ordinary Form Masses is often, though not always, mediocre. I did think receiving the Eucharist kneeling rather than standing was more reverent, but otherwise, I didn't feel that the TLM was really more reverent in general. I also did not understand why only the host and not the wine was offered. Both are offered in the Ordinary Form. 

I couldn't follow what was going on in the TLM. I suppose that would eventually not be an issue once one got used to it, but nevertheless I felt discouraged. And because this Mass was only offered once a month and was not even at one of my sister parishes, I didn't feel like it could really offer me a sense of community. Now it seems that this Mass will no longer be held at that church, because according to the new motu proprio, the TLM can't be celebrated at parochial churches anymore. No mention is made as to where it can be celebrated, just that the bishops will have to work that out. 

While the TLM has not been categorically banned from the face of the earth, it seems clear that the intention is to eventually phase it out completely. There will be a time of transition leading to the integration of all the faithful into one expression of the Roman Rite. Additionally, care will be taken to ensure that no liturgical abuses exist, which has been a concern with the implementation of the "Novus Ordo." As a side note, nothing has been said regarding the Eastern Rites of the Church, and I imagine they may become a more popular option for those attached to the TLM. 

While I personally have nothing against the TLM, and my heart goes out to those who love it so much and are utterly committed to it as a lifestyle, I feel a sense not of relief exactly, but of peace that in the end this is not a bad call on the part of Pope Francis. 

The division in the Church that concerns him is quite real. I've personally had it shake my faith. I've observed the rhetoric against Vatican II, the "Novus Ordo" Mass (which is, after all, no longer new), and Pope Francis himself escalate to a fever pitch. Even the traditionalists are fighting amongst themselves. Conservative but not radical traditionalist Catholics like myself feel torn and somewhat homeless. It's a struggle to discern who is telling the truth. 

A whole Catholic subculture has developed around the TLM. What began as an aesthetic preference has morphed into folks insisting that theirs is the "true Church." They have lost the way of obedience to the Church Magisterium that characterizes Catholicism in the first place. They go so far as to say that there is an entirely different theology inherent in the TLM, and that the Ordinary Form is quite inferior. 

While there will surely be an uprising against "Traditionis Custodes" and an even greater sense of division in the Church will ensue, this may be what is needed for the future of Catholic unity. The schismatics will basically declare themselves as such by their actions, even if they continue to insist that they are the true followers of Christ. Catholics like me can let go of our doubts and stop thinking that maybe we should try to get to the TLM, even move to a place where it's offered every week in order to fully engage in the lifestyle. We can stop listening to the traditionalist commentators who seem to become more and more radical as time goes on. We can put our faith in the guidance of the Holy Spirit and stop being conspiratorial and suspicious of Vatican II and the development of doctrine since. We can reject the pronouncements of those who scandalize the church by defaming the character of our pope. 

Sure, there are serious problems in the Catholic Church, but probably no more than there are in other branches of Christianity, and in certain ways there are less. So let's not panic. Practice detachment instead of being reactionary. The sky is not falling, I promise. On this her feast day, may Our Lady of Mt. Carmel pray for us. 

The Domestic Monastery

 

I think, in a certain way, it would be easier to form a domestic monastery if I had a house full of young children. There would be so much less time for distractions, as I would have very little time to myself. Busy mothers have extremely limited space in their days for prayer and contemplation, but they have much more motivation for developing regular routines and sticking to them. 

So I begin the discussion of my third blog theme for the year, the domestic monastery, at something of a loss. My spirit is restless, and I feel anxious for the future of my country, with Joe Biden's presidential inauguration just a day away. I have a vague vision of the life that I long for, but turning away from the world seems so difficult right now. The urge to stay informed is strong. 

The idea of the domestic monastery, or domestic church, in Catholic tradition is simply the practice of putting God at the center of family life. Like life in a monastery, domestic life is ordered around regular times of prayer, work, meals, study, and rest; always keeping the focus on growing in faith and virtue, with an eye toward Heaven, our final destination. It is the raising of saints and the cultivation of an inner life of contemplation. 

I'm beginning today with re-reading Ronald Rolheiser's slim volume, Domestic Monastery. I'm also listening to Marsha Sinetar's series of recordings on YouTube, "Marsha Sinetar - A Casual Contemplative's Archive."

I am feeling like I need to get back to basics, move toward taking a sabbatical from the internet, and refocus my energy on simplicity and minimalism. My plan right now is to substantially reduce time spent on social media, the news, and YouTube videos, and to only check my email once daily. This will be a jumpstart on making plans for Lent, which begins Feb. 17. I will also, of course, keep blogging here as I am so inspired by the Holy Spirit, but I can't say how often that might be. My prayer is to have insights to offer to others, but I must fill my own well first. If you have any experience to share, I hope to receive your comments! 

Godspeed, Rita Michele 

My 2021 Blog Themes | A Clutter Free January

 (old monastery turned into a home, homeworldlife.com)

I was delighted today to watch Jennifer L. Scott's first video of the new year at "The Daily Connoisseur" and to learn about a cooperative project of YouTube vloggers called "A Clutter Free January," begun by Dawn at "The Minimal Mom." Another of the participants is "Diane in Denmark," and she has a playlist of all of the videos so far. They have begun with their kitchens. 

I'm joining in this project, not as a vlogger myself, but just to get inspiration and focus my efforts, as I had already decided to set decluttering tasks for my home this month. And this fits nicely into one of my blog themes for 2021, the domestic monastery. My other two themes will be the preservation of liberty and the literary life. I will outline the basics of each theme in the days to come. 

We experienced so many alarming things in 2020, which unfortunately promise to continue well into this new year, and many people are exhausted, frazzled, in grief, and very uncertain of the future. I think the Catholic principle of subsidiarity can help us to navigate these tumultuous times, by teaching us to put first things first, and to begin with what we can most easily and effectively influence and control. 

I will keep it short today, and simply encourage you to check out the videos for A Clutter Free January posted so far. Ruminate on some plans for how you can get started in your own home, beginning today with just 10 minutes in the kitchen, which Diane in Denmark can guide you through.

Peace and joy to you this New Year!!

 

#WalkAway Series, No. 3 | Social Justice | Feminism | Complementarity of the Sexes

Today's video is the 3rd in my #WalkAway Campaign series. Here I discuss my introduction to feminism while in college, through a women's communication class. I highlight some of the positive aspects I learned in this class as well as the contradictions that make feminism so problematic. The ultimate battle we face today is abortion. The Democratic Party has embraced this volatile issue as a way to manipulate women with fear in order to keep their vote. 

Feminism is one of the categories falling under the "social justice" movement, which appears to be the modern version of the PC Mafia I discussed in the previous video. 

I offer the teaching of the Catholic Church on the complementary roles of men and women as a solution for the harm done to us--men, women, children, and society--by radical feminism. As I was uploading this video to YouTube, I saw a video from Dr. Taylor Marshall on the arrest today of his warrior priest friend, Fr. David Nix. Fr. Dave and others with him were arrested at an abortion clinic, where they were giving out roses and peacefully talking to women there. Apparently he was trying to get the Attorney General involved in case where a girl at the clinic was being forced into an abortion by her own mother. 

Please say a Hail Mary for Fr. Dave and keep him and his companions in your prayers. 

The Daniel Fast and Lenten Plans

(Note to readers: After publishing this post, I did more research to learn the origins of this "fast" and looked more closely at the Bible readings associated with it. Please see the next post, Rethinking the "Daniel Fast" and Refocusing on Lent.)

Have you ever wanted to change your life entirely, all at once? I've had fleeting moments of inspiration in which I say to myself, Self, this is the day I'm going to change everything! Beginning with giving up coffee. Then later, say, two hours maybe, I can't stand it, and I grab a cup of java. Waste time on the Internet. Never take that walk that was going to be my first walk to begin a habit of walking every single day. The life I picture seems so close, and yet so far...

Enter the Daniel Fast. I just heard about this a couple of weeks ago. I was talking to a friend on the phone, and I asked her if she'd seen that horrible story about the Turpin family and their 13 abused and starving children in California. She said she had only glimpsed a headline of the story but hadn't followed it, because she was taking a media break during the Daniel Fast. 

Upon hearing "Daniel Fast," my mind suddenly latched on, and I had to know all about it. Evidently this is an annual practice based upon the fasting of the Old Testament figure, Daniel. Churches around the country participate. The official, three week period of the fast has ended, but I am gearing up to do it for Lent. Whether I do it only for three weeks or for the entire 40 days of Lent remains to be seen. 

Basically, I will be purging everything that I've been wanting to cut out of my life in terms of food--caffeine, sugar, dairy, and processed foods. If you are a meat eater, that goes too. And alcohol. I'd been considering going vegan but wasn't sure if I could take the plunge. The Daniel Fast is my chance to go cold turkey in a major way and finally make all of the changes I dream of. 

In The Ultimate Guide to the Daniel Fast by Kristen Feola, you will find over 100 recipes and 21 daily devotions. The pictures of the food look very appetizing, and the recipes seem pretty simple. Feola includes shopping guides and weekly meal plans. The hardest part might be being limited to unleavened bread (whole grain bread without yeast, sugar, or preservatives). I'm going to learn to cook and eat in a whole new way! 

Am I scared? No. I'm terrified. The thing to keep in mind is that this is ultimately a spiritual practice. Lent is a time to cut out distractions and draw closer to the Lord. It's a time of sacrifice, charity, and penance. It's an imitation of Jesus' 40 days in the desert. Needless to say, I expect to be tempted. 

One benefit that I think will keep me going is the guarantee of weight loss. My friend lost 10 pounds in 21 days, and that was without incorporating exercise. I plan to walk and stretch daily. And if I do the fast for the whole 40 days, a loss of 20 pounds seems reasonable. 

I'm going to do a partial Internet fast during Lent as well. I receive at least one email per week from our homeschool co-op, so my plan is to only check my email the day before co-op meets. I want to blog about this process, so I'll probably be posting weekly. I will only use Facebook to share the blog posts. I will do my best not to look at the Yahoo News headlines, which unfortunately pop up when I close my email. Absolutely no Internet surfing!!

The last part of the equation is to finish my home decluttering and deep cleaning project. My mother-in-law is coming to visit early in May, so that gives me incentive to do this thing once and for all. 

Have any of you done a Daniel Fast? Please share your experience!

The Ides of the March

Let me say upfront that I'm feeling very clever about the title of this post right now! I rarely write about politics or current news events, but I realize that I have a responsibility to do so. Organic Mothering typically receives 7,000 to 9,000 views per month, and while I'm sure that's nothing compared to Matt Walsh's stats, it's nothing to sneeze at either.

God gave me both an opinionated personality and a gift with words. I owe it to Him to stop being so quiet about things that really matter, and to start doing what he created me to do. I have realized lately how much my need for other people's approval has dampened my spirit, to the point that I actually checked a book out of the library called Approval Addiction. In our current liberal, severely left-wing, socialist culture (which is truly the hallmark of Barack Obama's legacy), if one is not a perfect parrot of political correctness, one is booed, hissed, and stoned to death. It's actually deliciously rebellious to be a traditional American and Christian right now, not to mention a pro-life woman. When I was a teenager, my dad told me that my big mouth would get me in trouble some day. I sincerely hope he's right!

So on to this "women's march". I was at my grandma's on Sunday to celebrate her 89th birthday. I don't have TV reception at my house, so I normally would not have seen anything of the march's shenanigans. Thanks be to God that while Grandma's TV was turned on, the sound was off. And thank goodness it was a spring-like day and my 12-year-old daughter was playing outside much of the time, because I wouldn't have been prepared for the rated-R program happening on CNN. 

It looked like Ashley Judd was rapping, so on Monday I just had to find the youtube video. She recited a slam poem written by a 19-year-old that sounded like it was written by a 19-year-old. So painfully awful, both content-wise and artistically, it literally made me cry. Madonna's dancing had been cut off by commercials, so I wanted to see that and hear her sing. What she said, her singing voice, even the dancing--a train wreck from every angle. Both of these ladies spouted virtually nothing but obscenity and low-brow entertainment. What valid claims of injustice against women these celebrities might have made were drowned out in vulgarity and crude images. Scarlett Johansson's lackluster defense (and what other kind of defense could there be?) of Planned Parenthood belied the general ignorance regarding this institution begun by Margaret Sanger, a woman whose most ardent desire was to use abortion to eradicate the black race from the face of the earth. And let's not pretend that that's no longer part of the agenda. Incidentally, Live Action revealed proof just today that Planned Parenthood does not in reality offer prenatal care, as insisted by its president, Cecil Richards--a married woman who aborted her 4th baby simply because she thought three children was enough. 


Some pictures and stories of the spectacle that I saw--"pussy hats", vagina costumes, acts of aggression, lewd signs, mostly naked bodies--it all adds up to childishness, indecency, social dysfunction and depravity. What a lost opportunity to forward the legitimate needs and issues of women! But we have to keep in mind that many of these women, especially the young, have simply been misguided and deceived. They sincerely believe the propaganda. They need to know the truth, and we women and men of grace are called upon to give it to them. We need to respectfully listen to their side of things, and then as kindly as possible guide them in the right direction.

This march was advertised as a support for women's issues--a thinly veiled deception, as the agenda was clearly an anti-Trump, anti-democracy, pro-abortion, pro-nasty-woman rally. A pro-life feminist group originally allowed co-sponsorship of the march was kicked to the curb, so clearly this event was not intended to support the interests and concerns of all women. The human rights of unborn females, the most marginalized and vulnerable of all, were not given a voice. No matter how you frame the picture, it's hypocrisy at its best. 

Well, we have another march coming up this Friday, January 27--the annual March for Life. I for one can't wait to witness the contrast between this march and the march madness (I did it again!) of three days ago. We have seen the pitiful desperation and phony "revolution of love" that we are dealing with. In two days they will see what real women look like and how they behave. 

That is, if the mainstream media covers it. But considering that they have consistently failed to do so year after year, I'm not betting on it. The March for Life is of similar size and scope, in D.C., nationwide and worldwide, as the so-called women's march, but I'd bet you my house that it won't get the same all-day, all-night coverage. You can watch live streaming of the March for Life at www.ewtn.com.

Dear readers, let's flood social media with the March for Life. Fill every crevice you can with notices that this is happening. Link to every online article and video you can get your hands on to show as many people as possible that the pro-life movement is a force to be reckoned with. We must be silent no longer. Be charitable with your foes, but don't be afraid to be loud. Don't mince words. Call a spade a spade. This is a spiritual battle, and Satan is the sponsor of the mayhem--the malevolent spirit behind that abominable march, Planned Parenthood, and the false representation of the dignity of women. This is not the time for diplomacy. You might even say this is war. 

There is hope. I heard just today that the House of Representatives has passed the motion to make permanent the Hyde Amendment. So we have our first pro-life victory of this new administration. We will celebrate every achievement great or small. We know that Justice will win in the end, that the Immaculate Heart of Mary will triumph. Let's make the time now. 

The Return of the Light

In two days, on December 21, the Winter Solstice will be upon us. This is both the first day of winter and the return of the light. It marks the shortest day and the longest night of the year. In Catholic terms, we might think of the dark night of the soul which opens into grace. The return of the sun becomes the return of the Son.

The sun shines today, as it did yesterday. And yesterday I greeted the morning with a reflection of that light in my soul. Then quickly a darkness fell upon me from without that seeped its way into my bones. The day grew cloudy, literally and metaphorically. I took a long walk in the cold and snow as the sun was setting, almost defying Nature to try and take me. But I was praying a rosary on my way, though my fingers felt that they might freeze stiff. I stopped and sat on a bench in the Rosary Garden, facing statues of an angel and the Blessed Virgin Mary being slowly covered in falling snow. My tears fell. I finally stood again before I became permanently glued to the marble I was sitting on.

A brief return of light eventually came, only to be swallowed in more darkness. I felt the failure of being only human. The limitations of understanding and forgiveness. The hands desiring to pull me into the pit of despair.

Today is a do-over. One day still alive, one day wiser. There are things on earth that Heaven alone can fix. There is very little of life in our control. But how we respond is entirely our own responsibility. Do we choose to blame another? To blame ourselves? To blame God? Or do we choose to do the next right thing? To turn our hearts more completely toward the United Hearts of Jesus and Mary. To lean not unto our own understanding nor to rely upon our own strength. No power in the world or in the abyss of hell can rob us of the joy of the Lord.

Our failures? They are a reminder that our dignity comes from being sons and daughters of Almighty God. Humility lies in surrendering our lives and wills to the Divine plan. Even if it doesn't make sense. Even if it doesn't seem fair.

Perfectionism is the most soul-sucking of modern diseases. Expecting perfection from ourselves or others is a sure path to death of the soul and the destruction of loving relationships. I failed again to speak and act perfectly in my response. But I have grown. I have done my best in my frailty and weakness. Perfectionism is the enemy, and I am a Warrior. A Priestess. A woman made in the image and likeness of God, complete in his eyes even if carrying the wounds of Eve.

Find that inner stillness and silence today. Just breathe. Anticipate the return of the Light.

Women's Work

 Young Housewife by Tyranov

The kingdom of heaven is like leaven, which a woman took and buried in three measures of flour, until all of it was leavened.  Matthew 13: 33


Recently it occurred to me that "women's work" is not a phrase one hears anymore. I remember when growing up that women's work was referred to in a sort of demeaning way--the kind of thing that men should never do, as if it were beneath them. Today's married men often share in traditional women's work, such as changing diapers, doing dishes, preparing meals, and folding laundry. My husband helps with all of these things, except that we no longer have a child in diapers. In many households both parents work, and men share more of the burden of housework than in past generations.

That's a wonderful cultural shift in many ways, but at the same time, I am sensing a tendency in society toward bringing back the dignity of women's work. We are burnt out by the "extreme busyness disorder" of modern life and are sick with the gluttony and idolatry of consumerism. Women have been quietly leaving the trappings of career superwoman behind and coming home to be, once again, the heart of the family. They are reclaiming the traditional domestic arts--tending a kitchen garden, mothering, canning, knitting, baking their own bread...

We see in the Gospel of Matthew a parable told by Jesus, of the kingdom of heaven being like leaven that a woman uses to make her bread expand and rise. Surely a man can also bake bread. But evidently Jesus placed a high value upon this work of the woman in his day.

When I became a member of the Habeeba's belly dance troupe in Columbus, I purchased a costume that had accessories which needed to be finished. I paid another dancer $50.00 to do the bead work. I coveted her skill. I had to have a circle skirt just for practice, the fabric of which cost me $45.00. If I had made the skirt myself, it would have been a disaster. So I sent it, along with the pattern, to my grandmother, and she made the skirt, which had to be cut on the bias, whatever that means. One of the teachers at Habeeba's offered me $100.00 for the skirt! I refused her.

My grandmother is a professional level seamstress who was never paid to sew. As a mother of five, sewing was an indispensable skill to have. I was once a sales associate at the Lazarus department store in Columbus, and every single one of the women who worked in garment alterations was from Russia. American women, by and large, cannot sew. With all of the money I have spent on belly dance costuming, I learned to be in awe of the woman who is a genius with a needle and thread.

I am getting to the point in my daily round where I embrace my humble tasks. As I fold my family's laundry, I am doing the kind of work that women have historically done throughout the ages. And my family drools over my homemade French baguettes! Guiding my child to form good habits is not a waste of time; it is absolutely essential to her future life's happiness. One time my husband told me that when there is not clean underwear in his drawer, he feels like I don't love him. I have never let the underwear drawer be empty since! And isn't it wonderful how easy it really is to keep a man happy?

What the stay-at-home mother does is real work. It isn't lesser work than anything done outside the home for pay. Managing a household takes dedication, intelligence, love, perseverance, organization, creativity, and massive amounts of energy. Not to mention the virtues of patience and humility. Our work encompasses many professions rolled into one. Women who don't possess the skills necessary to do this work well feel the pain.

I remember it being said that women's work is a sacrifice, and the implication was that women shouldn't have to sacrifice anything. The Catholic worldview, on the other hand, is that we carry our crosses with joy. How radical is that?

Do not disdain the woman's work. It is the leaven of the bread that feeds the hungry soul.

Patron Saint 2015--Julian of Norwich

If there is anywhere on earth a lover of God who is always kept safe, I know nothing of it, for it was not shown to me. But this was shown: that in falling and rising again we are always kept in that same precious love.  --Bl. Julian of Norwich

When I came into the Catholic Church in 2013, I chose Kateri Tekakwitha as my Confirmation name, and she was my official patron saint for 2014. She certainly hasn't been replaced by any means, but for 2015 my focus is upon the patronage of Julian of Norwich. I came across her name recently in a book on Christian mysticism and was reminded of a previous interest in her.

Julian is venerated in the Lutheran, Anglican, and Catholic Churches, though as far as I'm aware, she has never been formally canonized. She is traditionally regarded as "Blessed Julian".  A medieval anchoress and English mystic, Julian is known mostly through her Revelations of Divine Love, the first book written by a woman in the English language.

When I first learned of Julian on my journey to the Catholic Faith, I was puzzled as to why, when an English major at The Ohio State University, I had never heard of her. She has been a primary influence as I endeavor to write my own spiritual memoir with a focus on the Virgin Mary and the sacred feminine in Christianity.

I am currently reading a large and engaging spiritual biography called Julian's Gospel by Veronica Mary Rolf, which reconstructs the times in which Julian lived in the city of Norwich and her likely place in society, with reflections on her visions. Since Bl. Julian was both a female mystic and writer, she seems a fitting choice to guide me as I endeavor to produce my own work of mystical literature.

Who is your patron saint and why? I would love to hear from you in the comments.

Solemnity of Mary, the Holy Mother of God

But Mary kept all these words, pondering them in her heart.  --Luke 2:19

One thing I love about the Catholic Church is the making sacred of even secular holidays. New Year's Day is also the Solemnity of Mary, the Holy Mother of God. New Year's Eve, for me, has come to be not about going to a great party, but about going to church. At the Vigil Mass last evening, I had the special surprise of hearing that it was being said for my Great Aunt Rosie, who died in November. For some reason, there was no one to do the music for the Mass, so Father J. had us sing a verse of "Immaculate Mary" at the beginning and another at the end. The quiet that settled in the moments usually filled with instruments and song seemed appropriate. What filled the silence was joy.

It's still the Christmas season in the Catholic Church, and we heard for this Feast Day the story of the shepherds coming to witness the birth of the Messiah and how Mary was silent in awe and wonder, how she cherished the words said about her Holy Son, tucking them into the deepest recesses of her heart.

Catholics celebrate Jesus' birth and sacrifice on the cross at every Mass. The Mass makes present the events of Jesus' life, death, and resurrection in a unique way. Christmas, in fact, comes from Christ-Mass. Christmas is a Holy Day inaugurated by the Catholic Church, a fact that many Protestants don't realize. When I was a Protestant, I didn't either. The Mass truly is the place to experience such holy mysteries together.

I wondered last evening at the brevity of our priest's homily, which was short even for him. But then I consider that there aren't many words beyond the Gospel that are needed. Mary herself simply contemplated all that had transpired. Her focus was on the meaning of the birth of her son and the great work of God. Being the Virgin Mother of our Lord Jesus Christ, who is God incarnate, must have given her endless food for meditation. All Christians are called to birth him in our hearts and take him out into the world. Mary is our exemplar of discipleship. It's interesting to note that in the days of the Protestant Reformation, Luther, Calvin, and Zwingli all acknowledged and honored Mary as the Holy Mother of God.

I think Father J.'s short homily reflected his humility, in imitation of Mary's. Homilies and sermons are certainly an important part of the Mass, but the point is not to wow us all with brilliant words, though sometimes he does. In a similar way, the Mass does not exist to entertain us, musically or otherwise. Going to church isn't about one's spiritual "experience". It isn't about giving one a rush of ecstatic feeling or a profound revelation, although that can and does at times happen. Father J. let it be all about Jesus, just like Mary did.

Here is my reason for writing this today; this is my plea: Catholics, come home. Whatever the reason you left, grace awaits you. If you are not a Christian, I invite you. And if you are a non-Catholic Christian, I invite you too and challenge you to do some homework. Research the origins of the Church. Learn about the sacraments, all 7 of them, not just the 2 that Martin Luther left intact. Seek the historical evidence regarding what Christian worship really looked like in the early centuries of the Church, and what the members of the early Church actually believed. Because I can tell you, worship looked like the Catholic Mass, and the followers of Christ believed in his Real Presence, in the transubstantiation of the consecrated bread and wine of Holy Communion into the body and blood of Jesus.

We are all--Catholic, Orthodox, and Protestant alike--Christian brothers and sisters. But we shouldn't be separated. Catholic literally means universal. One Church for all people. That's why Jesus came, and that's why he gave us Mary, his very own mother, as Mother of the Church.

Birthday Reboot

I have decided, today on my birthday, to begin writing here again on a regular basis, under the patronage of Catholic writer and mystic, Julian of Norwich. Every month Organic Mothering is visited a few hundred times, which is a modest number but still significant, especially since I haven't written anything new in several months. I started another blog, and it has been well received, but it isn't the same. Something resonates with people in this blog. Maybe it's the title, or the popularity of certain subjects, or there is a mysterious inspiration at work.

I read over my old posts sometimes, and I am reminded of wisdom I have gathered that I sometimes forget. This helps me to "pull focus" and get back on track if I have been distracted by fear, doubt, worry, or any number of things that compete for my attention. I center once more on what is important. So this is my gift to myself today, to breathe out my life onto these electronic pages.

The sun is shining, for which I am so grateful! It is these little things that we must rely upon to bring us joy as the temperatures drop. It has been a mild winter so far, the grace of a reprieve, I suspect, before we get hit hard. Or maybe not. Either way, I'm not going to cringe from what comes, because what is to come will come, and stiff shoulders won't make any difference at all.

I'm going to see a movie with my family this afternoon and eat leftovers from the birthday brunch I shared yesterday with my parents, grandparents, sister, husband, daughter, and her friend. I already had cherry pie for breakfast! I am blessed with so much love. None of us knows how long we will have any of the important people in our lives, so I remind myself frequently to cherish each moment. A Madonna CD playing, a young girl dancing in the middle of the living room--what more entertainment can a person really need?

I am excited to meet with you here again, dear readers, perhaps for a cup of tea, or to shed a few tears, to smile conspiratorially, and to hear the silent music of the soul. 

All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.
-- St. Julian of Norwich

Carrying the Cross

After I received Communion at Mass today, I looked up at Jesus on the cross, as I usually do, and made the sign of the cross. But today, I really noticed Jesus on the cross in a new way. I am currently experiencing the heaviest cross I have ever been given to bear in my life. When I looked up at Jesus, it was as if he saw me. And I have no doubt that he did. He showed me that in his pain and agony, there was great strength. Power. All the power in heaven and on earth. I felt him saying, See me up here, on this cross, and know that I am in you. Know that there is nothing that I will give you to bear that I will not also give you the strength to withstand. 

I had been thinking during this current crisis that God must believe I am very strong to have given me such a great trial and responsibility. He must have much confidence in me. But maybe the more accurate reality is that he is strong, and that it is his strength that he is giving me. When I looked up at Jesus on the cross, I had just received him in the Eucharist, his Real Presence--body, blood, soul and divinity. The Gospel reading was from John 6, which makes so clear that Jesus commands us to eat of his body and drink of his blood, literally. I heard these verses again on the way home in the car on the radio, said by a priest with a lovely accent during a Latin Mass. I am supposed to pay attention to these verses, to hold them close to my heart, to understand that it is here, in the Blessed Sacrament, in the consecrated bread and wine, that I will receive my strength and be nourished in every way.

Today also happened to be the Feast of Corpus Christi, the Body of Christ. We had a guest priest who taught us the origin of this feast. The story was about a priest who once doubted the Real Presence in the Eucharist. While he was saying Mass, blood dropped from the host onto a cloth on the altar. This relic is paraded through the streets of Italy on this feast day. After the homily, the guest priest shared a really long mission speech asking for donations. I was anxious to just have Communion and get home to make sure everything was okay, and I couldn't believe how long the man talked!

But now it occurs to me. I have learned in Catholicism that there is a purpose to my suffering. I can offer it up to bless those in greater need. The children in poverty in third world countries that I heard about today have a greater need than mine. For food, shelter, education, and the basic necessities of life. To keep the boys out of a life of terrorism and the girls from a life of forced prostitution. I gave a donation in the envelope and wrote my prayer request. I can offer up my suffering for these children, and it will bless them, and what I am going through will mean something good and real. It will help someone else. And the person who opens the envelope will make my intentions known and make sure that my family is prayed for. Knowing these things, perhaps I will avoid despair.

The gift of the Catholic Church is endless. It is eternal, this one, true, holy, universal and apostalic Church. This is the Church Jesus built on the Rock named Peter, the apostle who denied him three times. This flawed, fearful, unfaithful man was the first Pope. The one given the keys to the kingdom by our Lord. Jesus is now trusting me, just as I am, with a great task. That's the other thing he seemed to be saying from the cross, that I can do this difficult thing just as I am. He is with me and in me. I don't have to be perfect, because he is perfecting me in his way, in his time. He has guided and will continue to guide me in my decisions, even if others don't understand them or think I am making the wrong choices.

In hindsight, we might see what we could have done differently, and we can learn from our mistakes and grow to be the persons God has created us to be. When we find ourselves in a crisis or difficult situation, we can pray and then do the best with what we have, with what we know, with what our instincts and the Holy Spirit lead us to do. Decisions are not made with 20/20 hindsight, but rather in the present moment. I made a phone call today that resulted in someone else being upset, yet the person who responded to the call delivered, in perfect kindness and compassion, a much needed message and important information. I believe, therefore, that it was a good decision, and that the message given was of divine intervention. We often have to feel our way as things unfold, to navigate a new challenge in very stormy seas, but we don't have to do it alone.

We are, each and every one of us, specially designed by our Father with a unique personality, with particular strengths and talents. Everyone has his or her own genius and purpose in life. I am not supposed to be different from who I am, from the person I was created to be, and neither are you. We also all have human weaknesses, which are not necessarily defects of personality or character, but rather raw material that God uses, along with our stronger qualities, to draw us closer to him. Every imperfection has its brilliance on the other side of the coin. For example, patience is the virtuous side of stubbornness. Both reflect a strong will and the ability to wait. We are all sinners, and every single sinner is called to become a saint.

There is an old hymn that has the lyrics, Just As I Am. As the 12 Step adage goes, what other people think of me is none of my business. We can only be forgiven in the exact measure that we forgive others. Living with endless remorse, regret, guilt, shame, blame, resentment, fear, doubt, and worry can only keep us from the mission given us by Christ. The Sacrament of Confession gives us the opportunity to bring our sins to Jesus and know that we are absolved of them. I am reminding myself right now, and you, to go to Confession often! We then do our penance, make the amends to others that we can, and move on. We must learn to see Christ in ourselves and all others, and accept ourselves and one another just as we are.

And here's a neat thing I have experienced my whole life. People have often remarked on the qualities of patience, compassion, empathy, and understanding that they saw and admired in me. What if the good things people say about us really are true? What if we believed our advocates, even a little, and allowed the condemning voices to pass through, and let them go? We might be able to move mountains.

A retired priest that I am very fond of who still occasionally says the Mass loves to recite the poetry of Mary Oliver.  I will leave you with my personal favorite, "Wild Geese":


You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting-
over and over announcing your place
In the family of things.

A Fond Farewell

Organic Mothering has meant so much to me these past few years. Now the time has come to focus my energy on some exciting, new creative projects. A heartfelt thank you to all of those who have read this blog and followed me on my journey. I may occasionally return with updates and new information on what I am up to, but for the time being, I wish you all Godspeed.

With much love and gratitude,
dancingmommio

Good Intentions

Good Intentions

Let your intentions in the fulfillment of your duties be so pure that you reject from your actions every other object but the glory of God and the salvation of souls. -St. Angela Merici

— from Sisterhood of Saints

I just had to share this quote from Minute Meditations! This is going to be my guiding mantra from now on. Let us commit these words to our minds and embed them in our hearts. Our journey is to be happy on earth so we can be happy in heaven. Our joy is in the Lord. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light (Matt. 11:30). Nothing else matters. No doubt, criticism, unkindness, or ill treatment from others can get in the way of fulfilling our parental vocation. Here is the impenetrable armor. Here is your sword. Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to people of good will. This is our all.

 St. Anne with Mary

As St. Anne taught our Blessed Mother, so I teach my daughter...

DAILY PRAYER TO SAINT ANNE

O glorious St. Anne, you are filled with compassion for those who invoke you and with love for those who suffer! Heavily burdened with the weight of my troubles, I cast myself at your feet and humbly beg of you to take the present intention which I recommend to you in your special care.

Please recommend it to your daughter, the Blessed Virgin Mary, and place it before the throne of Jesus, so that He may bring it to a happy issue. Continue to intercede for me until my request is granted. But, above all, obtain for me the grace one day to see my God face to face, and with you and Mary and all the saints to praise and bless Him for all eternity. Amen.

Our Father, . . . Hail Mary . . .

O Jesus, Holy Mary, St. Ann, help me now and at the hour of my death.

Good St. Ann, intercede for me.

Getting Beyond Unschooling

I also think it would be a mistake to equate unschooling with never doing anything resembling school. Home educated kids do many of the same things done in schools--learn to play a musical instrument, watch videos, create art, read books, compose poetry, make things out of wood, play games and sports, write, ask questions, share their opinion, solve math problems, cook--the list goes on. The difference is that as home educators we can create our most authentic life possible and learn on our own terms, in our own way, in our own time. We can put God and family before academics. We have a myriad of choices, but if we close our minds to any "schooly" methods or materials, we have effectively blocked the path to open source learning.    --  Rita Michele


Why am I quoting myself today? This is a comment I made at the Whole Life Unschooling FB group. A mother is interested in unschooling but doesn't have her husband's support. She was wondering if she could combine homeschooling and unschooling in order to appease her husband but still give her children the benefits of unschooling. Surprisingly, many members responded in the affirmative. 

Group moderator and high profile unschooling advocate Dayna Martin seemed a bit unnerved by this, perhaps because by the murky parameters of its definition, unschooling cannot be done "part-time". Naturally she thinks the ideal is radical unschooling, but she conceded that a combination of traditional homeschooling with unschooling would be better than subscribing entirely to the mainstream. She shared that her kids learn by exploring their interests and passions without engaging in anything at all "schooly", but she also supported the mother doing whatever she wanted or needed to do. She indicated that curriculum materials and structure are fine if the child wants them. However, "forcing" those things, as the dogma goes, would surely be gravely detrimental. 

To her credit, Dayna aims at a nonjudgmental, balanced response, and I am not criticizing her personally. I am intending to show the difficulty in navigating this whole issue and am suggesting making a concerted effort to get beyond it.

Obviously, with my endeavor of implementing what I find to be good in the French lifestyle and way of parenting, I am leaning more toward the importance of consistent routines so that our lives have a framework upon which to authentically grow and bloom. I am thinking of a wooden, arched trellis that was once in my yard. White roses and purple clematis would climb the trellis and be displayed in all of their glory. When strong winds damaged this structure and we had to pull it down, the flowers didn't thrive. They needed to be able to reach a higher place to get enough sun and have a sturdy foundation upon which to stretch out and take shape. How's that for an extended metaphor?

In the extremes of radical unschooling there is a tendency to reject any methods or materials that even remotely resemble school or so-called "authoritarian" parenting. As a home educator, I feel inhibited by such a mindset. I feel like my hands are tied, because we wouldn't want to put limits on our children. We must give them total and absolute freedom in all choices, in every area of life. At the risk of beating a dead horse, this is not only in opposition to the Christian parental vocation, it's simply nonsensical and irresponsible. How can one parent with confidence while being told that he or she is merely a partner and facilitator in learning and life, rather than the primary educator, as the Church teaches?

We have seen the ugly truth of what befalls our society which increasingly rejects its historical traditions. Families, churches, marriages, job security, morals, ethics, values, education, and physical and mental health have all progressively weakened. Sure, there is such a thing as too much structure. I just heard today that children have 50% less free time than they did a generation ago. They are over-scheduled and over-stimulated. As home educators, we have more control over our time and what fills our days and our children's minds, hearts, and souls. Why would we want to abdicate our God-given parental authority? Here is our chance to direct the vine toward the sun and behold the explosion of Beauty. 

My Joie de Vivre Christmas and Birthday Gifts!

Since becoming Catholic, I have found the Christmas season to be so much more fun and meaningful than ever before. First of all, there are actually 12 days of Christmas (like the song goes!), but they do not lead up to Christmas, as most people think. December 25 is actually the first day of Christmas, which means that today is the 6th. We are only half way through!

At church Saturday evening, we sang several traditional Christmas hymns. Christmas the Catholic way is a more relaxing experience, beginning with the season of Advent, a month-long time of contemplation and preparation leading up to Christmas Eve. Yes, Christmas Day is the apex of the season, but everything doesn't ride on this one day. I am not feeling the "let down" typical of the days following Christmas Day. In fact, my birthday, which was yesterday, is on the 5th day of Christmas (five golden rings...), and well as being the Feast of the Holy Family! How's that for the supposedly bummer of a birthday that falls close to Christmas?

Anyway, I was positively showered with love, attention, and awesome gifts for both Christmas and my birthday. With a new year just around the corner, I have plenty of new wardrobe, personal care, and home products to add to my joie de vivre lifestyle. I promised pictures before but did not deliver. So I hereby make a New Year's resolution to give you visual images and a lot of great ideas to make our lives even more simple, joyful, and elegant, every single day.

Let me begin with one of my favorite presents, a new pair of pajamas from my sister. This was especially wonderful, because she didn't even know that pajamas were on my wish list, and my husband had no luck finding 100% cotton ones where we live. Here they are:

Gillian & O'Malley flannel toile pajamas, available at target.com

These PJs are superbly comfortable and warm without being too heavy. They are a classic style and would surely get Jennifer L. Scott's stamp of approval for "presentable pajamas" (see her blog, The Daily Connoisseur). You should have sleepwear that you can't wait to crawl into. I had these back on my body by 7:00 last night!

I hope you all are having a very merry Christmas. Have fun and stay safe for the New Year! Oh, and don't forget that the Solemnity of Mary, the Holy Mother of God is a Holy Day of Obligation, so Catholics make sure you get to Church! It just keeps getting better, doesn't it?

Contemplative Prayer & Lectio Divina

http://www.beliefnet.com/Faiths/Catholic/2000/08/How-To-Practice-Lectio-Divina.aspx

This link provides a step by step method for practicing lectio divina. In this post I'd like to continue the conversation regarding the married contemplative vocation. Prayer is at the heart of Christian contemplative practice. On my journey to the Catholic faith, I discovered this idea of praying the scriptures. Last year, as Advent was upon us, I asked a Catholic friend what we do especially in this season as we prepare for Christmas. She told me that the Church provides a booklet of daily readings. These little books for particular seasons in the liturgical year give interesting information on Church history on one side, and on the facing page a verse from Sacred Scripture with a reflection.

The practice of praying the scriptures is much different than the more well-known study of the Bible. Verses are not chosen as proof texts to back up one's particular beliefs, or for memorization. It is not done to explore a religious theme or to gain scholarly knowledge, though any of these things may be an indirect result. Rather, lectio divina is a direct communication with God through the Word of God. My understanding is that one opens oneself to the divine Wisdom of the Holy Spirit. The passage is meditated upon, and perhaps a particular sentence will stand out. This is a personal message to carry throughout the day, so certainly it might be memorized as you repeat it over and over again. I am often inspired to journal my response as part of the process. Lectio divina allows a space for private revelation, which if it is truly from God, will not contradict the teachings of the Church. This interior experience of the divine through Sacred Scripture is then followed by spontaneous prayer.

The Rosary is the contemplative prayer par excellence. It was through the Rosary that I not only developed a personal relationship with Mary, but was led to a renewed relationship with Jesus. I felt a little uncomfortable in the presence of my Lord, understanding him with a greater reverence as I experienced the fullness of the Christian faith in Catholicism. Coming before him in the Rosary was facilitated through the maternal intersession of his Blessed Mother. Now I saw Jesus' life through the eyes of Mary, and my faith deepened with each encounter of the Mysteries, which are the stories of his birth and childhood, his saving mission, and his death and resurrection. When I was initially learning to pray the Rosary, I would read the entire Bible passage related to each Mystery, until I knew the story by heart. I still revisit those stories to keep them fresh in my mind, and I always use at least one piece of scripture for each meditation.

As a Protestant I had known Jesus as a friend and a savior, but not as Lord and King. I did not have the awe proper and necessary to worship of him. I was penitent in having been away from him for so long, and in treating him more like a genie that grants my wishes and solves my problems than with the honor that he deserves. That is not necessarily the fault of the Protestant churches I attended; it is simply my experience.

Another traditionally Catholic type of prayer is the Novena, a prayer said for 9 consecutive days, which may invoke the help of God directly (ie. Jesus, the Father, or the Holy Spirit) or through the intercession of Mary or one of the saints. Novenas often reflect a particular devotion, such as praying to Our Lady of Consolation in a time of great sorrow. If I am remembering correctly, the tradition of 9 days comes from the story of Pentecost in the Book of Acts, when St. Peter led 120 disciples of Jesus in prayer for 9 days, leading up to the coming of the Holy Spirit.

Having all of these modes of prayer available to me has enriched my prayer life inestimably. I have never before been such a prayerful, scripture reading person. Prayer is centering and comforting, it can be meditative, and it is ultimately transforming. Prayer defines relationship with God. There is no one, right way to pray, and in the Catholic Church I have found mediated such gifts and blessings as go beyond words. For those moments when I don't have the words, I can rely upon Sacred Scripture and those prayers of holy people of God whose inspiration echoes throughout the ages.

The Contemplative Mother

St. Anne and the Virgin Mary

 



I have at times half joked that if my husband ever died, I wouldn't remarry. I'd become a nun. The funny thing is, I wasn't Catholic at the time! I still don't think I would become a nun, because of the hours they keep (very early risers, prayers in the middle of the night) and the wardrobe. Of course I would do it if God called me to it, but he would have to call really, really loudly.

When most people think of contemplatives, they imagine a cloistered religious life. Having read Ordinary People as Monks and Mystics by Marsha Sinetar, I know that one can receive a similar calling without being a monk or a nun, or even a hermit. Married women raising children, such as myself, can have mystical experiences and be drawn to a sacred silence and solitude. If I am being called to a contemplative vocation within my marital vocation, a lot of things would make sense. Experiences like spiritual restlessness, dark nights of the soul, a desire to withdraw from the world, a highly developed empathic sense, and sensitivity to Beauty. I think that this blog came into being as a result of a deep need for contemplation combined with the calling to write.

For about nine years before I got married, I lived by myself in the same apartment. I spent hours journaling and writing poetry, and reading spiritual books. I always worked, and I kept thinking that I just had to find the right career in order to feel fulfilled, and for everything to fall into place. I knew that there was something that I was created to do. Unfortunately, it can take a long time to earn a living as a writer, if it ever happens. At the age of 30 I went back to school and became an esthetician. I finally had the lucrative career I wanted, making more money than I needed and using many creative skills. Then I got married at 33, had my baby at 35, and became a Mother. This has been my highest calling so far.

The urge to simplify life as a wife and mother, to live organically and authentically, and to find deeper meaning in everyday routines has underpinned our goal as a family to live life by our own lights. Every small choice contributes to a more abundant life: not having television; being vegetarian; eating locally grown and organic food, and growing some of our own; learning to bake bread and pizza dough; homeschooling; having only one (very small) car; buying much of our clothing from thrift stores; using safe, natural personal care products; recycling and composting, etc... What if all of these things are directly related to my being undeniably drawn toward contemplation? I always felt most like myself when I was reading those spiritual books, journaling, and creating religious ritual.

Today I once again unsubscribed to various websites, blogs, and advertisements. I simply can't keep up with reading everything in my inbox. I am even considering deactivating my FB account, or at least hiding it. I find myself spending too much time wrapped up in group conversations with people I don't personally know. While there are blessings to be found in belonging to an online group of people with shared lifestyles and interests, I want to concentrate more of my time on my own family and friends, and keeping in touch with people via the telephone (not texting, but actually talking) and letter writing. It is crazy to imagine that some day soon younger people will no longer be able to read and write in cursive, so it will be like a secret code!

My joie de vivre project certainly stemmed from this longing for the contemplative life, and I want to re-concentrate my efforts in that direction, being brutal in cutting out all nonessential elements in my daily round, not just in my wardrobe. For now I am contemplating of what the married contemplative life would consist for me and how I will order my days in light of that spiritual focus.

Morning Star

Morning Star

As the Mother of Christ, Mary is the morning star announcing the rising of the Sun of Righteousness. Like the moon at the dawn of a new day, she is wholly bathed in the glory of the sun that is to come after her. Her beauty is a reflection of his.

— from Catholic Update Guide to Mary


I have been enjoying seeing the moon in the autumn sky during the day lately, watching the progression of fullness and thinking about how her cycles reflect the monthly cycles of womanhood, and also the growing belly of pregnancy. For some reason it is the season of fall that most heightens my awareness of the Presence of God in nature, of the crisp aliveness of creation during this last, great flourishing of Beauty.

The moon is associated with our Blessed Mother, as she reflects the pure Love of Jesus, just as the moon reflects the sun. She is the Woman of Revelation, the great sign which appears in heaven, clothed with the sun, with the moon beneath her feet, and upon her head a crown of 12 stars. Mary's fertility as a maiden, her Divine Motherhood, and her sorrow in later years at the foot of the cross echo the cycles of life of all women from the beginning of time. I feel a kinship with Mary and with our Earth, both of whom God has given to nurture and mother us with her bounteous gifts.

The Virgin is a radiant reflection of Beauty, purity, patience, perseverance, generosity, faith, compassion, and Love. When I see the moon in the daytime sky, it reminds me that the Mother Love of God, God's immanent Presence among us, is beheld in nature and in the arms of Jesus' Mother, Our Lady, Mediatrix of Grace, the Morning Star.

How are you honoring our spiritual Mother this month of October, a traditional time to remember her in a special way?