Sacred Silence | Selah

 

Our Lady of Silence

Of course there is such an icon as Our Lady of Silence! I began to contemplate silence yesterday, and I ordered many (surely too many!) books on the topic from the library. Though I have by no means mastered the everyday duty to strengthen and govern my body, it is time to incorporate the second everyday duty, to feed and enlighten my intellect (see Feb. 15 post). I have sought the meaning of silence in the past, but I am finding the need for more serious, concentrated work in this area. 

As with all things sacred, we find that Satan has produced a diabolical counterfeit, and the spiritual pollution of a deadly sort of silence is to be avoided at all costs. True silence is rooted in the hiddenness and peace of God, in the abiding presence of the divine. A perfect image of such a blessed silence is that of Jesus sleeping in the boat while his apostles are being gripped with fear of the storm raging around them. Even the wind and the sea obey the Lord. Selah. 

James Tissot

The silencing of people for the purpose of controlling them, of striking fear into their hearts that is not the fear of God, is evil. We see this happening all around us today, with the silencing of the perceived enemy being accomplished by calling him racist, white supremacist, homophobic, transphobic, terrorist. We see it in the mass online censorship of voices that do not tow the party line of woke collectivism. 

We see our friends, family members, and neighbors gagged with face masks, unable to properly breathe, which surely should be an unalienable right. We cannot see one another's smiles, or sometimes even discern who is a stranger, and who is someone we know. People with medical conditions are refused goods and services for not masking up, their health exemptions not honored. In short, the disabled are treated as deplorables. We fear to speak or to show our faces, lest we be cancelled. Our lips are shuttered from proclaiming the Gospel. Selah.  

This silencing is the handmaid of a toxic noise. For the entire summer of 2020 we witnessed the chaos of burning and looted buildings, shattered lives and livelihoods, bricks and fire works thrown at people's heads, murder and rape, neighborhoods criminally occupied, police officers with hands tied from any action to mitigate the violence. We witnessed the pulling down and erasing of emblems of our country's history, and even of our Faith, and the menace of a cultural re-education to warp the minds of our children. This is the silent scream, the silence of the devastated and the dead. 

And all of this is called good by folks we once thought sane, in a country once known as brave and free. Selah. 

This is why we must seek a holy silence. We must quiet the counterfeit noise which masquerades as a call for unity and peace. Rather than fighting against the tyranny and oppression of our bodies, minds, and spirits, which will serve only to keep attention on the hellish fire, it's imperative that we determine what we are for. 

We won't undergo that process by steeping ourselves in the news and social media, or by striving to convince others of our point of view. When Christ is your light, you are a city on a hill, and the darkness is forced to flee. The energy and power to fight will only come from the calm center of the Sacred Heart, the cleansing fire of the Holy Spirit. We will arise in might only when the path is clear, when we know that He is for us, and we remember who we are and what we are for. But first, we pause. 

Lent is a time for prayer and penance. It's a season of intense contemplation. It is the command to "Be still, and know that I am God." 

Shalom. Selah. 

Our Lady of Sacred Silence, pray for us. 

 

Do a Small Version of the Big Dreams

"In the deep silence, wisdom begins to sing her unending, sunlit, inexpressible song: the private song she speaks to the solitary soul."     --Thomas Merton


Fall is my favorite season, despite the misery of allergies that comes with it. I am fortunate to live in a part of the country to which others travel to behold the glory of changing leaves. I can simply step out onto one of my porches and soak in the colors and special slant of sun. Wearing my bathrobe and slippers, I start my day breathing the fresh, crisp air, listening to birds, contemplating a tall flower with delicate blue blossoms whose name I do not know.

Perhaps you'd like to spend more time in Nature. That is a goal of many people, and as with other things that we wish we had more time or ability to do, we tend to think in such grand terms that we eliminate the possibility before we even begin. 

What I'm considering now is how to do a small version of the big dreams. The nature of one's aspirations will differ for each person, but many seem to have a list in their minds of things about their life that they would like to change. We dream of a lifestyle that only appears to be available in magazines, movies, and television, or the online versions of such media. 

What if we started with a small version of our grand designs? Taking spending time in Nature as an example, rather than think that you need to buy a camper and drive across the country to Yellowstone, find a state park nearby and hike the trails or go horseback riding. Put out a bird feeder and bath in your own backyard. Take a country ride with your family and buy pumpkins from a roadside stand. 

By making small efforts that aren't overwhelming, you will develop a habit of spending more time outdoors, and maybe you will eventually buy that home in the country or travel to an exotic locale known for its scenic beauty. Or maybe not. Maybe what your soul craves is the simple solace of interacting on a daily basis with the natural world. 

Often what I really desire when I'm feeling restless is not a geographic relocation, or a new career, big travel plans, or exciting new friends. What is actually at the root of the restlessness is a need to be more connected with those already in my life, to my own community, to my inner self, and to God. The solution to the discontent is not going to be found in a specific, external source. I used to think that there must be a book out there that would hold the answers, and I've continued to search the library, Amazon, and Ebay for those key tomes of wisdom. All I end up with is more books, more clutter, and no lessening of my malaise. 

In our noisy, uber-active world, how might we allow ourselves moments for contemplation and silence? Do we even know what silence is anymore? In the last post, I wrote about making the life you have be the life you want. I believe that this begins with a habit of prayer and contemplation, and a willingness to embrace the small details of everyday life. If we don't do that first, we will be forever seeking the "next thing" that we think will bring us happiness. We'll find ourselves burdened with meeting one goal after another with no end in sight. Once the goal is met, the emptiness returns. 

So for now, choose one thing about your life that you would like to change, or one dream that you want to have come true. Write down the grand version, and then meditate on what a small, doable version might look like. Record your ideas. If you want to be a gardener, rather than lament that you would have to move to the country first, start with a small kitchen garden and grow a few tomatoes, onions, and peppers. Or plant the window boxes that you usually leave empty with flowers. If you want to take up running but are out of shape, start with a daily walk around the block. If you dream of moving to Paris, look for movies set in the City of Lights at the library. Check out some kids' books and learn a few French words and phrases. You get the idea! 

Once you put the wheels in motion, you will either be spurred toward larger goals in service of your dream, or you will realize that you don't want what you thought you wanted after all. In either case, you will have learned more about yourself and your chosen subject along the way. You'll be edified by the experience, so there's no reason to worry about wasting time.

I once thought that I'd like a career as a calligrapher, to have a business making wedding invitations and such. I took a calligraphy class and found that I did indeed have a talent for it. While I enjoyed the class, to my own surprise I discovered that I didn't love calligraphy, and that this was no longer my dream. Doing things in a small way first gives you the time to explore and see if it's really something you want to pursue in a more serious way. 

Along the journey, keep praying for wisdom and guidance, and let go of your own will. Also consider that you may already be living your true purpose, and you only need to go more deeply right where you are. 

Authenticity.

Take heed and guard yourselves from all covetousness, for a man's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions.  Luke 12:15

It seems to me that the simplicity/slow/minimalism movement is at its heart about authenticity. Life in modern society is focused upon trying to be like other people--mostly people we don't know, people we see in magazines, on social media and television. Or if we do sort of know them, we want to be like the versions of themselves that they want other people to see and believe. Why do we do this, grasshoppers?

We don't know ourselves, so we think we need other people to help us figure out what we like and don't like, what our true style is, what our secret purpose is in life. We create fantasy selves.

If I don't orient my life around who I am in the eyes of God, then I truly don't know who I am. I'm not rooted, and I float around willy-nilly. I have to intentionally spend time, daily, in prayer, reading the Bible, and contemplation. I also have to spend time regularly in creation, going outside, noticing the birds, insects, and flowers, being active.

I have to see myself as a child of God and of Mary, as a sister of Jesus. As a member of the mystical body of Christ, which is the one, holy, catholic and apostolic Church. I have to make a concerted effort to see all others as made in the image and likeness of God. And if I miss Mass for whatever reason, things begin to fall apart.

When we declutter and pare down our possessions; when we eat local, organic food and keep a compost heap in our yards; when we strictly limit the time we spend plugged into devices; when we walk in the woods, have dinner together as a family, and stop making an idol of busyness, we become authentic. When we stop focusing on ourselves and tend to the needs of others, we become more of who we were meant to be.

We must stop wanting what other people have. We must quit trying to be like other people, or who other people think we are or should be. We have to recognize the addiction to possessions, and in a sense, to value things more than we do. A true materialism values quality over quantity and is content with having enough. Our society teaches us to see things as disposable and easily replaceable. This attitude then gets extended to people. It's imperative that we learn to appreciate what we have and be good stewards of our possessions; and to treat all people and creatures with kindness and dignity.

Searching for your "authentic Self" is a bit narcissistic, isn't it? Authenticity isn't self-conscious, and it doesn't need constant entertainment and novelty. Go deeper with what you have. Get outside of yourself and serve others. Lose yourself, and all the baggage, to find yourself. Rejoice and be glad.

The Dream Behind the Dream

In a certain way, my dream for a pilgrimage to Brittany in France is symbolic of a deeper dream, the dream behind the dream, if you will. I've written at other times on this blog about the idea of a contemplative vocation for "ordinary" people, that is, those who are not formal religious (priests, monks, nuns, etc...). There is a book by Marsha Sinetar on this topic that I've read a number of times, Ordinary People as Monks and Mystics. The contemplative life can be difficult to define, so what is particularly helpful about this book is that Sinetar interviewed a wide spectrum of people who identify with this idea of the ordinary monk or mystic. We can see the common thread of the contemplative spirit flowing through their unique stories.

Through their anecdotes of spiritual awakening, we get a picture of the various ways that people have managed to carve out a life centered in prayer, meditation, and reflection, a life that is simplified and pared down in such a way as to allow for a focus on deepening spirituality and a self-actualizing authenticity. This requires a drawing away from the world to a certain extent, allowing a person to develop inner serenity and his or her God-given gifts and talents in order to be able to better serve the world in positive ways.

Last night I finished reading another book by Sinetar, Sometimes, Enough Is Enough, in which she further explores the "casual contemplative" life. What the title refers to is the reality that sometimes we have to fight the outward resistance to such a way of life, because it might seem crazy to other people. We have to learn to set boundaries and protect the time and space that we need in order to make union with the Divine the foundation of our lives. We must have those times carved out in each day for activities that nourish the spiritual life, which typically include contemplative prayer, meditation, the reading of Scripture and other sacred/spiritual texts, and perhaps a physical practice that coincides, such as yoga, pilates, walking in nature, gardening, or dance.

The contemplative soul may also have artistic work that he or she is, or longs to be, passionately engaged in. This might include poetry or other writing, painting, wood working, glass blowing, knitting, musical composition, and the like. Some casual contemplatives have chosen to relocate to very rural areas where they can have more quiet and a higher degree of isolation from the busyness of modern life. Others continue to be very active in the world and bring the peace and authenticity of the reflective life to whatever field they work in.

So much of what I have been writing about lately is tied to this contemplative calling. Letting go of perfectionism and the need for the approval of other people is key to my spiritual healing and progress on the path to an authentic, joyful life. The result may or may not be specifically a trip to Brittany. It is the spiritual pilgrimage which is important and necessary. Often a physical pilgrimage will manifest as well. What I know for sure is that clearing the clutter in my life is the first step. Contemplative domesticity, as I have newly subtitled this blog, is my theme for 2017!

Called Home

I finished both of Karen DeBeus' ebooks, and I give them a thumbs up! I am going to take her advice in Called Home and declare a moratorium for a few days on researching and planning our homeschooling. This is the time when many mothers are getting their curriculum materials together, or those new to homeschooling are frantically researching methods. We have so much information at our finger tips, with tons of books, websites, blogs, email and Facebook groups, that it is easy to look to outside sources for validation and guidance. We are blessed to have all of this support, but it can also be terribly distracting. Developing a solid philosophy and having a method that works for your family is important, but "Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things will be added unto you."

I've actually had my planning done for months, but I still have been ordering additional books to use, and I've continued to dwell upon what Catholic Natural Learning will look like come fall. I have been praying rosaries for the intention of receiving the wisdom I need. It is dawning on me that there really are no limits to true freedom if I am always following the will of God. If my will is aligned with God's, then the boundaries of the Faith will be a garden of roses, and I need not fear the thorns. Our homeschool will be unique, like no one else's. So now I want to really focus on the word of God, prayer, and contemplation, and do nothing else. I will look to the Church for her writings on education soon and begin a deeper study of those teachings, but for now, it's just me and God (and Mary of course, who always leads to Divine Wisdom). It's time to go inward, be still, and listen. No FB groups, no reading of others' blogs, no planning in my journal. Just prayer and reflection, breathing, and sitting at the feet of Jesus.