The Domestic Monastery

 

I think, in a certain way, it would be easier to form a domestic monastery if I had a house full of young children. There would be so much less time for distractions, as I would have very little time to myself. Busy mothers have extremely limited space in their days for prayer and contemplation, but they have much more motivation for developing regular routines and sticking to them. 

So I begin the discussion of my third blog theme for the year, the domestic monastery, at something of a loss. My spirit is restless, and I feel anxious for the future of my country, with Joe Biden's presidential inauguration just a day away. I have a vague vision of the life that I long for, but turning away from the world seems so difficult right now. The urge to stay informed is strong. 

The idea of the domestic monastery, or domestic church, in Catholic tradition is simply the practice of putting God at the center of family life. Like life in a monastery, domestic life is ordered around regular times of prayer, work, meals, study, and rest; always keeping the focus on growing in faith and virtue, with an eye toward Heaven, our final destination. It is the raising of saints and the cultivation of an inner life of contemplation. 

I'm beginning today with re-reading Ronald Rolheiser's slim volume, Domestic Monastery. I'm also listening to Marsha Sinetar's series of recordings on YouTube, "Marsha Sinetar - A Casual Contemplative's Archive."

I am feeling like I need to get back to basics, move toward taking a sabbatical from the internet, and refocus my energy on simplicity and minimalism. My plan right now is to substantially reduce time spent on social media, the news, and YouTube videos, and to only check my email once daily. This will be a jumpstart on making plans for Lent, which begins Feb. 17. I will also, of course, keep blogging here as I am so inspired by the Holy Spirit, but I can't say how often that might be. My prayer is to have insights to offer to others, but I must fill my own well first. If you have any experience to share, I hope to receive your comments! 

Godspeed, Rita Michele 

The Dream Behind the Dream

In a certain way, my dream for a pilgrimage to Brittany in France is symbolic of a deeper dream, the dream behind the dream, if you will. I've written at other times on this blog about the idea of a contemplative vocation for "ordinary" people, that is, those who are not formal religious (priests, monks, nuns, etc...). There is a book by Marsha Sinetar on this topic that I've read a number of times, Ordinary People as Monks and Mystics. The contemplative life can be difficult to define, so what is particularly helpful about this book is that Sinetar interviewed a wide spectrum of people who identify with this idea of the ordinary monk or mystic. We can see the common thread of the contemplative spirit flowing through their unique stories.

Through their anecdotes of spiritual awakening, we get a picture of the various ways that people have managed to carve out a life centered in prayer, meditation, and reflection, a life that is simplified and pared down in such a way as to allow for a focus on deepening spirituality and a self-actualizing authenticity. This requires a drawing away from the world to a certain extent, allowing a person to develop inner serenity and his or her God-given gifts and talents in order to be able to better serve the world in positive ways.

Last night I finished reading another book by Sinetar, Sometimes, Enough Is Enough, in which she further explores the "casual contemplative" life. What the title refers to is the reality that sometimes we have to fight the outward resistance to such a way of life, because it might seem crazy to other people. We have to learn to set boundaries and protect the time and space that we need in order to make union with the Divine the foundation of our lives. We must have those times carved out in each day for activities that nourish the spiritual life, which typically include contemplative prayer, meditation, the reading of Scripture and other sacred/spiritual texts, and perhaps a physical practice that coincides, such as yoga, pilates, walking in nature, gardening, or dance.

The contemplative soul may also have artistic work that he or she is, or longs to be, passionately engaged in. This might include poetry or other writing, painting, wood working, glass blowing, knitting, musical composition, and the like. Some casual contemplatives have chosen to relocate to very rural areas where they can have more quiet and a higher degree of isolation from the busyness of modern life. Others continue to be very active in the world and bring the peace and authenticity of the reflective life to whatever field they work in.

So much of what I have been writing about lately is tied to this contemplative calling. Letting go of perfectionism and the need for the approval of other people is key to my spiritual healing and progress on the path to an authentic, joyful life. The result may or may not be specifically a trip to Brittany. It is the spiritual pilgrimage which is important and necessary. Often a physical pilgrimage will manifest as well. What I know for sure is that clearing the clutter in my life is the first step. Contemplative domesticity, as I have newly subtitled this blog, is my theme for 2017!

The Contemplative Mother

St. Anne and the Virgin Mary

 



I have at times half joked that if my husband ever died, I wouldn't remarry. I'd become a nun. The funny thing is, I wasn't Catholic at the time! I still don't think I would become a nun, because of the hours they keep (very early risers, prayers in the middle of the night) and the wardrobe. Of course I would do it if God called me to it, but he would have to call really, really loudly.

When most people think of contemplatives, they imagine a cloistered religious life. Having read Ordinary People as Monks and Mystics by Marsha Sinetar, I know that one can receive a similar calling without being a monk or a nun, or even a hermit. Married women raising children, such as myself, can have mystical experiences and be drawn to a sacred silence and solitude. If I am being called to a contemplative vocation within my marital vocation, a lot of things would make sense. Experiences like spiritual restlessness, dark nights of the soul, a desire to withdraw from the world, a highly developed empathic sense, and sensitivity to Beauty. I think that this blog came into being as a result of a deep need for contemplation combined with the calling to write.

For about nine years before I got married, I lived by myself in the same apartment. I spent hours journaling and writing poetry, and reading spiritual books. I always worked, and I kept thinking that I just had to find the right career in order to feel fulfilled, and for everything to fall into place. I knew that there was something that I was created to do. Unfortunately, it can take a long time to earn a living as a writer, if it ever happens. At the age of 30 I went back to school and became an esthetician. I finally had the lucrative career I wanted, making more money than I needed and using many creative skills. Then I got married at 33, had my baby at 35, and became a Mother. This has been my highest calling so far.

The urge to simplify life as a wife and mother, to live organically and authentically, and to find deeper meaning in everyday routines has underpinned our goal as a family to live life by our own lights. Every small choice contributes to a more abundant life: not having television; being vegetarian; eating locally grown and organic food, and growing some of our own; learning to bake bread and pizza dough; homeschooling; having only one (very small) car; buying much of our clothing from thrift stores; using safe, natural personal care products; recycling and composting, etc... What if all of these things are directly related to my being undeniably drawn toward contemplation? I always felt most like myself when I was reading those spiritual books, journaling, and creating religious ritual.

Today I once again unsubscribed to various websites, blogs, and advertisements. I simply can't keep up with reading everything in my inbox. I am even considering deactivating my FB account, or at least hiding it. I find myself spending too much time wrapped up in group conversations with people I don't personally know. While there are blessings to be found in belonging to an online group of people with shared lifestyles and interests, I want to concentrate more of my time on my own family and friends, and keeping in touch with people via the telephone (not texting, but actually talking) and letter writing. It is crazy to imagine that some day soon younger people will no longer be able to read and write in cursive, so it will be like a secret code!

My joie de vivre project certainly stemmed from this longing for the contemplative life, and I want to re-concentrate my efforts in that direction, being brutal in cutting out all nonessential elements in my daily round, not just in my wardrobe. For now I am contemplating of what the married contemplative life would consist for me and how I will order my days in light of that spiritual focus.