What to Do When the Laundry Is Caught Up | Taking Stock

I could see the light at the end of the laundry tunnel, so yesterday, after having a rare good night's sleep and feeling very energetic, I blew the laundry out, washing every last item. My theory has been that as long as I am behind on regular housework, like laundry and dishes, I can't in good conscience delve into other projects. Maybe this is a subconscious ploy of procrastination, even if logically sound. 

I had big dreams for today, no longer shackled by a mountain of unwashed garments and linens; but alas, I slept poorly and feel the sinus gunk bringing me down again. I think the brief snow we got tamped down the spring pollen, but then it melted. One possibility that we may not have considered during this coronavirus semi-quarantine is that maybe God wants us to rest. Maybe he wants us to pause, to reflect. Not only to muddle through, to bide our time until the crisis has passed, but to just plain stop whatever we've been doing and take stock. 

What do we most value but have habitually taken for granted? How many times, for instance, did I choose to stay home from church and not receive the Eucharist, and now am heartbroken to be deprived of Jesus' Real Presence in the way that only the Blessed Sacrament can provide? There were people I had planned to visit during Lent, like my great-aunts in nursing homes, and now I can't go see them. I look at my calendar and see future plans that will not come to pass. We all had looked forward to events that we assumed were unchangeable. The idea of not going to Mass on Easter Sunday, because there won't be one, seems like something out of the Twilight Zone. 

Now let's see where we're at on the FlyLady path. So far we have established a few things for our morning and evening routines. We shine our sinks and put out tomorrow's outfit in the evening, and go to bed at a decent hour, turning off screens an hour prior. In the morning we put away the clean dishes, start the laundry (one load per day at least, washed, dried, folded, and put away), and get dressed to shoes. At some point in the day we do a 15-minute, whole house (or main level) declutter. We set our timers to manage our time. I should note that Diane in Denmark admitted that she doesn't necessarily do everything in her routines every single day. It's okay to miss, say, a day of shining your sink, but try not to miss more than two, or you may fall out of the habit. But even if that happens, you just jump back in from wherever you are.

I'm only going to add one more thing at this time, and that is self-care. Every day we must take time, if only 15 minutes, for our personal well-being. My husband told me that for our mental health, the WHO has recommended that we only read about or watch news of COVID-19 for ten minutes, twice a day. Yes, it's important to stay current with the mandates and developments, but we must not immerse ourselves. We must not obsess. 

Today I didn't have the energy to take a shower, so I just soaked in the tub while I read a book and treated myself to a clarifying clay facial mask.  I read today's Mass readings and the meditation for this date in Simple Abundance. But I've been watching myself sneak onto the internet beyond the allowance of checking email that I had planned for Lent. 

Basically I only wanted to go online to use the library services, do whatever was necessary for homeschooling, to blog and to receive the communications from our homeschool co-op. Co-op is of course cancelled for the time being, so I don't even really need to check email very often. Following the coronavirus progress got me on YouTube, and it's so easy to fall back into old habits once we open the door. I felt I was being of service to post this blog to Facebook, though that was the main internet usage that I had intended to give up.

So I will share this post on FB, and then that will be it for the remainder of Lent, and likely for longer.  I've encouraged my friends to sign up for email notification of new blog articles. I will go back to strict avoidance of the internet. I'm sure my husband will keep me abreast of anything I need to know about the pandemic.  Things on the internet can surely be inspiring, but I believe increasingly that we are being guided to a new and better way of living, if only we will stop and listen.  There is no reason to go full speed ahead. I think I can use these bare bones of the FlyLady system to keep things humming along nicely, to have a solid framework for my days. If I can add more, great. If not, no big deal. 

We're experiencing the reality, right this moment, of what can happen to our best laid plans. There must be something more. 
A secret garden. A buried key.

A New Year's Dream

Quimper, Brittany, France

Happy New Year, dear readers! I want to share with you a new dream I have in my heart. You might guess it from the photo, so let's get right to it.

I went to Mass on New Year's Eve, the Solemnity of the Mother of God. The priest's homily was very simple, but somehow it sunk into a hidden corner of my psyche and went to work. What stood out was the difference he drew between a goal and a wish. A goal needs a plan to reach it. Without a plan, all you have is a wish. Let that sink in a moment.

On New Year's Day, my dream surfaced. I have written before about my Celtic heritage, and how I discovered that my French ancestors of the Valle family were an ancient, noble clan in Brittany. Located in the northwest corner of France, the territory of Brittany is part of the group of officially recognized Celtic territories which also includes Ireland, Wales, Scotland, Cornwall, and the Isle of Mann. Brittany's culture and heritage are distinct from the rest of France, having more in common with those areas of Great Britain. While French is the primary language spoken in Brittany, there are still some who speak the native, Celtic language of Breton.

My maternal grandmother's grandparents were almost entirely Celtic, tracing their ancestry to Ireland (and possibly Scotland) and Brittany. I have always felt strongly drawn toward Celtic culture, history, and traditions. I am planning now for a pilgrimage to Brittany. I have already found the town I want to visit, Quimper, researched things like the weather and time of year I want to go, watched youtube videos of the region, looked at gites and cottages to rent, and read blogs. I've ordered the Usborne French language set for a great price on Ebay, and I've begun to save my money.

This dream gives me a focus for pulling together other things which need doing and completing for the best chances of making the dream come true. For example, one option would be to do a house swap with someone who lives near Quimper. This gives me a new motivation for getting house projects and decluttering done. It gives me a tangible reason to become conversational in French. It inspires me to really pare down my possessions and to buy only what is essential. To really watch where every penny goes. It gives me the push I need to buckle down and get my book ready for publication, and to advertise well for my upcoming dance class.

I have realized that I have been making excuses for not following my dreams. I have physical limitations. This is a reality, but there are things I can do to strengthen my lower back and core, such as losing weight and regular exercise. It would be easier to continue on with Spanish in our homeschooling endeavors, as I have a background in this language and so feel comfortable with it. French is not phonetic like Spanish, so it is more difficult to learn. But I must break out of my comfort zone. I must stop limiting my dreams to those which are small and easy. It's time to stop resisting happiness.

Money is a big obstacle for a lot of us, but it's often our attitude about money that gets in the way. We tell ourselves we can't afford our dreams, and this becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. We make no plans to be able to afford our dreams, and we have no faith that God will provide what we need, and so our dreams remain wishes.

What do you wish for in your heart of hearts? What plan can you hatch to reach your goals, and what small step can you take today to begin to live your dream?

Brittany Coast

Simply Catholic.

I have changed the description of this blog to Simply Catholic. This was inspired by the topic of cafeteria Catholicism written about in the last post. I left a Catholic homeschooling Facebook group recently because of the division and extremism that I witnessed there. Early in my journey to the Catholic Church, I became aware of the controversy around the interpretation and implementation of Vatican II, and the split among Catholics who consider themselves "traditional" or "progressive", or who have adopted the political monikers of "liberal" and "conservative" to describe their brand of Catholicism.

The thing is, Catholicism doesn't come in brands. There are Rites, the major groupings being the Roman, Antiochian, Alexandrian, and Byzantine, each representing an ecclesiastical tradition about how the sacraments are to be celebrated. That's right, not all Catholics are Roman Catholics! And there are various religious orders, such as the Dominicans and the Franciscans. The Mass can be validly celebrated in either Latin or in the vernacular language. There is Sunday Mass and daily Mass, high Mass and low Mass. But it is all one, unified religion. Catholic literally means, universal. "Catholic" refers to the universal Christian Church. Catholic is Catholic.

So why isn't it simple? I suppose it's because the Church is made up of many good but flawed and sinful people. In the cacophony of conflicting opinions, some find it easiest to cling to the rules, laws, and doctrines in the most literal way possible, resulting in a joyless, white-glove-test scrupulousness. Others have decided to just chuck the whole thing and leave the Church. Still others stay and make the best of it, striving to be loyal to Jesus and his Church while keeping their hearts open to the leading of the Spirit and a deeper development of faith that is unique and personal. Among those are advocates for change, which manifests in myriad ways, all wishing for the real Church to please stand up.

A woman in another FB group warned me not to romanticize the Church. "But why not?" I wondered. It all seemed to make so much sense, lovely as a perfect day in May. And I do believe that in Catholicism the fulness of the Christian faith is found. The in-fighting, however, is all too real. I witnessed and participated in a heated FB argument on the before-mentioned Catholic homeschooling forum about whether or not yoga is a permissible practice for Catholics. Come to find out that EWTN, a Catholic TV station, has warned against not only yoga, but aromatherapy, hot stone massage, reiki, and herbal remedies. I also learned that there is even something called a sede vacantist, who is a person that believes that the Chair of Peter is currently empty; in fact, some believe that there hasn't been a valid pope since Vatican II!! But these people still go to Mass. ?????

It's enough to occasionally make me want to run away screaming. But among the thorns I have heard voices of those roses who say, "I am simply Catholic." No divisive labeling, no holier than thou high horse prancing. The hope, for me, lies in determining what about the faith is most important to me and relevant to my life today. I am not suggesting a "take what you like and leave the rest" attitude in terms of Church teaching. I simply want to look at what drew me to the Church in the first place, and what made me decide that it was imperative to become Catholic. Not every doctrine is of equal importance, and not every bit of the Catechism has to be near and dear to my heart.

If you too are a Catholic, or any Christian, who feels disillusioned and discouraged, let's take a few quiet moments to write down what matters to us most. Brew a nice, hot cup of tea, put on some soothing music, light a candle or incense, and meditate upon what the Spirit is trying to tell you. This will not be the same for every person, but for each of us there burns a holy light.

Mary and Martha

The homily I heard at Mass yesterday brought tears to my eyes. Father just hit the nail on the head so many times. The gospel reading was the familiar story of Mary and Martha. Jesus is a guest in their home in Bethany. Martha is bustling around, preparing dinner and making things ready, while her sister is simply sitting at the feet of Jesus. It was this Mary that I was thinking of when I decided that I needed to take time to cease studying and preparing for homeschooling, and just pray. Martha wants Jesus to make Mary help her, and she is resentful of having to do all the work alone. Jesus tells Martha that Mary has chosen the better part, and he will not take it from her.

This story seems like a simple admonition to get our priorities straight, to put Jesus first. Yet Father went deeper and said something I had never thought about. What this story also illustrates is a role revearsal; here we see that Jesus has become the host. Mary and Martha's house belonged to Jesus, and today my home belongs to Jesus. If I let him be the host, then I know what I need to be doing. I can sit at his feet first, and from there I will know better how to serve him.

Father talked about hospitality. Do our modern devices--television, cell phone, computer, etc... own us? Are we really just using them as helpful tools, or do they rule our lives? How many times has my own child wanted to talk to me, and she had to wait while I finished reading something, or typing a blog, or checking Facebook? Right now she is at a mini summer camp, so I can write without distraction. And before she went, I resisted turning on the computer right away and had my coffee with her while she ate breakfast. Now I need to work on praying first before I turn on the computer or do housework or anything else as well!

What I have been doing lately is observing our habits. How can I improve my own, and then how can I help my child (and my husband) develop better habits? If children are used to doing certain things as a matter of course, then I think there would be less resistance when it is time for bed, or to put toys away, or to take their dishes to the sink after a meal. Yes, it takes diligence on the part of a parent to provide the necessary repetition to instill good habits, but the positive results of less work later, and having self-disciplined children, seem to me to be well worth the trade off. But first we must be willing to role model the good habits we would like to see! Keeping in mind that just because a child sees us making our bed does not mean that eventually she will be inspired to make her own. Our job is to follow through with our children.

Father's message at church was one of hospitality--"mi casa es su casa"--my house is your house. We need to row the boat using both oars, the oar of work and the oar of prayer. We must find balance in our lives. I want my house to belong to Jesus. If I let him serve me, then I can serve him, and serving him means serving my family well. Balance also means not allowing crazy-making into my life. One person misinterprets something, and someone else reacts irrationally to it, and next thing I know I am thrown off course. The devil does his work too well. I need to do mine better. The only solution is to go to God in prayer and to his word. Over and over again until that is my habit.

When I look at my family today, I see people who are imperfect but who are happy, healthy, and thriving. I see solid relationships. I also see too much dog hair on the floor, but that's okay. Today I will sweep it up. No one has a right to come into your home and steal your joy or rob you of your precious time, whether that is literally or via the technology we too often idolize. And if my home is Jesus' home, how can I be served by him and serve him if I am worrying over the crazy-makers? How much am I willing to let into my home-haven? How much are you?