Habits and Character | A Return to Charlotte Mason

Every year, waiting until at least mid-May, when the danger of frost has passed, I plant a variety of container flowers, and this year I also planted a few herbs to use for cooking. My husband plants a small vegetable garden. I care for the flowers, and he for the vegetables. He has had to be out of state on a number of occasions this year, to care for his deceased father's estate. While he was gone, our daughter watered the garden. Once he returned, I assumed he would resume care of the vegetable patch. By the time I realized that wasn't happening, it was nearly too late. 

Tall grass grew in every square inch available, green beans turned brown, and it became impossible to see the wanted plants for the weeds. The garden looks like grief, but it isn't bereft of hope. We've had some small but delicious tomatoes, a handful of beans, and plenty of lettuce. The kale and Brussels sprout leaves have been the food of some pest or other, but it may not be too late to salvage those plants.

When something is a habit, a good habit, it makes our lives easier. We have to make fewer decisions when our behaviors are automatic. It's much simpler to keep a garden watered and to remove weeds on a regular basis, while they are still small and haven't taken over, than to do damage control late in the game. 

English educator and homeschooling pioneer Charlotte Mason wrote a lot about the connection between habit training and personal character. The importance of encouraging good habits in children cannot be overstated; but it seems nearly impossible to do this if the adults responsible for them have poor habits themselves. 

Clutter and neglect, whether in a garden or a home, is a sign of disorder--be it clutter of the mind, heart, or spirit. Where I live, school begins Aug. 19, in less than three weeks.  Since we will be homeschooling again, we don't have to start that early. But as many of my daughter's friends will be less available once school resumes, we will likely get our studies under way on the 24th. 

It takes 21 to 28 days to form a habit, so now is the perfect time to evaluate where things are working, and where we need to fine-tune our routines. What our your priorities for the coming school year? What do you want to do differently, to bring greater order, beauty, and harmony to your days? I'm going to take some time over this weekend to draft a plan, to get things like sleep schedules and meals under control, and to organize our homeschool. If there are books and other materials that are needed, it's time to order them, as mail deliveries have been inconsistent.

I've gone back and forth over the years regarding Charlotte Mason, at times being thoroughly enthusiastic about her philosophy and method, at other times finding her ways to be too overwhelming; and/or I've questioned her appropriateness for a Catholic education. But this summer I have felt led to return to her once again, to mine the treasures of her writings, and to seek the joy and creativity that underpin her educational approach. Most of all, I want to spend much more time in nature. 

My Yard in Bloom!

“Nobody sees a flower - really - it is so small it takes time - we haven't time - and to see takes time, like to have a friend takes time.”
― Georgia O'Keeffe

When my family and I walked out the door to go to church on Easter Sunday, we were delighted to see that the tulips had popped into bloom, as if on cue. They are still on parade. Some have faded away while new ones have opened up, so I wanted to capture the scene while I still have it to enjoy. Here is my yard en fleur, tulips and beyond... Happy Spring!

Vitality Challenge

 Model and Yogi, Christy Turlington

Are you tired almost every day, even after a full night's sleep? Do you struggle to have enough energy to perform your every day tasks?  Fatigue is not an unusual problem for women, especially those of us nearing middle age (cringe). Hormonal changes, raising children, caring for aging parents, and careers are all challenges we face, and in today's world, we are juggling it all at a faster and faster pace. Ladies, we are depleted, let's face it. Physically, emotionally, and spiritually. We are on a merry-go-round that, if we ever get off it, we do so by careening through the air and crashing into a tree. We wouldn't know the simple life from a Mexican fruit bat.

Yesterday I received the May issue of  Whole Living magazine in the mail, and a caption on the cover says, "Spring-Clean Your Life."  So I think a challenge is in order. My sister is getting married Memorial weekend, and I have been meaning to lose 10 pounds. But let's not diet.  Diet is a 4-letter word, and we know diets don't work long-term. And we are not interested in counting calories or deprivation of any kind. In fact, eat whatever you want. Just keep a few tips in mind and implement these steps religiously:

1. Sugar will give you a boost of energy, but then you will crash. Sugar is aging and causes all manner of health problems in excessive amounts. If you want a treat, eat a good meal or substantial snack first, then have a small dessert.

2. No caffeine after 2:00 p.m.  It will interfere with your sleep.

3. Less than 7 to 8 hours of sleep every night results in serious sleep deprivation. Get your beauty rest!

4. Exercise at least 30 minutes every day but Sunday, which should be your complete day of rest. You can cook a nice Sunday dinner, but really, your husband can do that if you cook the rest of the week. Otherwise, no house work. Do something relaxing that you enjoy. Or do nothing. Just be.

5. Begin your fitness program with 5 minutes of moving warm ups, rather than static stretches. For 20 minutes, take a brisk walk, dance, do aerobics, use free weights, etc... Then cool down with yoga stretches for 5 minutes. I guarantee you will have more energy! And regular exercise translates to a better quality of sleep.

6. Eat breakfast within an hour of waking up. You will have more energy and less cravings all through the day. Make sure you are getting the recommended protein, whole grains, some dairy, and fruits and vegetables, eating as much organic and locally grown food as possible. Think whole foods rather than packaged and processed.  Do not skip meals. Four to six smaller meals is recommended over 3 large ones.

7. Coffee dehydrates, which is another energy zapper, so drink an extra glass or two of water for each cup of java. You can also get water from things you eat, such as juicy fruits and vegetables. Aim for the rule of 8 to 10 glasses of water daily!

8. Manage your stress. All of the above will help you do so, but add prayer and meditation to the start of each day. Light a candle, say a prayer, and read a page from a devotional booklet. Journaling is also a great outlet for get whatever is obsessively circling your head.

9. Spend time in nature every day. This is a proven stress reducer, and we are hard-wired to be calmed by the sights and sounds of God's creation. Try keeping a nature journal. Even if you are no artist, drawing is also therapeutic. Any hand craft, in fact, will keep you centered. And of course, gardening is a moving meditation. Get your hands in the dirt!

10. Spend more time with the people who are important to you and less time plugged in. Get off the internet, shut off the TV, get off the phone. Get the television out of your bedroom, and no screen time within an hour of going to bed!

There is our 10 step plan to increased vitality, contentment, and fitness! And hopefully, in the process, we will look and feel better, whether or not the pounds melt away. (It goes without saying, but if you smoke, it's time to quit!) Please let me know if you will take the challenge with me! Any wellness plan has a greater chance of success if one has a partner. So sign up for email notification of new posts, and I'll keep you posted on my progress!

The Modern Homestead, Part 2

I am beginning to formulate the idea that reinstituting the concept of the homestead could be one way to counter the malaise, obsession, and addiction that I attribute to our modern society's overuse of technology. My grandma made a very good point yesterday. She thinks the internet is trouble, because people will write something on Facebook or someone's blog that they would never say in person. A friend of mine says that's like blaming the gun rather than the person holding it. They are both right.

There's no doubt in my mind that we are too plugged in. TV is largely to blame for the fact that kids don't play outside much anymore, and both excessive TV watching and disassociation from nature lead to depression. Add the plugged in time of video games, cell phones, and internet use, and what have we become? People are notoriously too busy to get together in person, and I think they often make themselves busy on purpose. Real relationships and intimate, face to face, or even voice to voice, interactions are just something people have largely lost the ability to handle.

Just having a gun in the house presents a danger that would not exist otherwise. And it has been proven that TV and other technology easily become addictive. In our instant gratification society, blasting an online comment at someone without thinking it through (hello, attention span, where are you?) results in all kinds of drama. If you at least sit down and write a letter first and get your reactionary emotions out of your system, often times you get enough therapy in the process and don't even end up sending the letter. Or you take the time to revise it. With technology, it is too easy to forget that there is a living, breathing human being with feelings on the other side. Recently a family member half my age who lives across the country chastised my comment to another Facebook friend and told me what I should have written instead! I was posting on my own wall, and the subject had absolutely nothing to do with her. This is the risk with a social network.

So how can the homestead help? If you read the Little House on the Prairie books, you will know that pioneer people had no such time for idle gossip and the frittering away of hours upon hours of life that can never be retrieved (except maybe Mrs. Olsen!). Farmer Boy tells the story of Almanzo Wilder between the ages of 8 and 10. He helps sow and plow the fields, haul wood with his own team of oxen, shear sheep, make candles, cut ice from a pond, train his oxen, gets up in the middle of the night with his family to save a crop from freezing, and all manner of such hard work. He also sometimes goes to school, and after all of the other things I mentioned, he does his chores. I don't imagine anyone in his family was obese or nature deprived. Laziness was not an option. Getting up after the sun rises was not an option. And harrassing your sister was cause for a whipping.

Not everyone can be a farmer or even live out in the country, but homesteading is becoming popular even in urban areas. Gardens are grown on rooftops and abandoned parking lots. People grow food and raise chickens in very small yards. (Ironically, in my rural village, one cannot raise chickens inside the village limits!) Even if you live in an apartment and you don't have a yard, you can grow plants, flowers, and herbs in pots. Anyone can feed the birds and have a birdbath in the yard. Plant flowers that draw butterflies and hummingbirds to them. Encourage the livelihood of bees, without whom the planet would die. Live with a pet or two. Cook most of your own meals. Make contact with nature in some way a priority every day.

Ah, priorities. If television viewing is a priority, I believe such a person has largely lost sight of what is important. Please know I have been guilty of being too plugged in and zoned out. But we don't watch television in my home (but do watch video movies). I have no idea how anyone has time to watch TV now that I have not had it for over 4 years. I am going to take a sabbatical from the computer as of today, when I finish writing this, for more than a week. I need to detox. I challenge you to do the same!

If you center your day with the homestead idea in mind, you know what needs to be done. Feed your family and sit down together for meals. Plant seeds, weed the garden, harvest what you've grown. Water the flowers. Walk the dog. Spend time with your child, reading, playing board games, homeschooling, doing household tasks together. Invite a friend (by friend, I mean a real one, not the "friends" you have on Facebook who aren't actually friends) into your home. Visit your grandmother, write a friend a real letter in your own handwriting, donate things you no longer want or need to charity, learn a craft you can do with your hands, or to play an instrument or dance. Pray, meditate, read something edifying to your spirit. Write a poem or your memoirs. Dance with your daughter. Walk instead of driving your car. Bake cookies for the neighbor kids. Clean out your refrigerator, drawers, and closets. Pursue your passion! Oh my, where has the time gone? You are pleasantly exhausted from physical exertion and spending your day in meaningful activities, focusing on your priorities, and you haven't turned on the TV or your computer once! Now we are living, people, living our own lives, taking care of our own business, too sane to poke our noses where they don't belong.