Winter Wardrobe Update

To get back to the cultivation of the essential wardrobe, how is your daily style working now that we are in the heart of winter? I eventually brought the remainder of my cold weather clothes down from the attic and mercilessly sorted through each piece, sending many more items to the charity thrift store. I can honestly stay that I'm pleased with what's in my dresser and closet. I also have an antique cupboard with shelves inside in which I store pajamas, long underwear, and work out/dance class clothes. I went through the cupboard this week and now need to make another trip to give away what no longer fits well on my body or in my life, or is simply past its prime. I still had dance clothes from 2002!!

With all I have sent on its way, I was surprised to find that my closet and dresser are still completely full. Of course, I have purchased and been given additional items, and naturally winter clothing is bulkier than summer and takes up more space. I am keeping a close eye on those items I gravitate toward most often, and I have no doubt that by the end of winter there will be a few more pieces that I will bid farewell.

One of my favorite Christmas gifts are fringed Minnetonka moccasins (#532). We typically have a no-shoes-in-the-house rule, but the hardwood floors are too cold for just socks, and these moccasins are so much more comfortable and cuter than wearing slippers. Some days they never leave my feet!

Slowly but surely, it's all coming together. When the sun doesn't shine and there hasn't been any fresh snow for awhile, it's easy to feel as blah and grey as it appears outside. Looking forward to getting dressed can be just the inspiration you need to add a touch of color to your days and put a little spring in your step! I'm already thinking about rain boots...

Boyfriend Jeans & Dark Days

We have had some gorgeous fall weather here in NW Ohio, and also some chilly, rainy days. I even heard talk of s**w for this week on Facebook, but my friend was posting from Michigan, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it will stay north of us! Today it is growing darker and blusterier as I write this, in the middle of the afternoon. At my daughter's request, I turned on the gas log fireplace and can feel its warmth as I sit and type, with a Sacred Heart of Jesus jar candle lit on the coffee table. We also have an orange string of lights decorating the limestone mantle. It is these little touches that will get you through the dark days ahead.

I have fallen off the joie de vivre wagon lately. I share this because maybe you have too, and I want to tell you that it's okay! My laundry got behind, and I stopped eating breakfast again and wasn't eating enough for lunch. I don't even want to tell you about my snacking. Old habits die hard! However, I ate breakfast this morning and had a hearty bowl of chile for lunch. I am catching up on the laundry, which I did not allow to achieve the mountain status in my basement that it had reached before! And progress has still been made.

I was feeling like we were focusing too much on revolving our day around homeschooling academics, so one day last week I taught Beezy to bake French baguettes, which she had asked to learn the previous time that I made bread. And I found my perfect boyfriend jeans, Gap brand from Ebay. These were less than $20 including shipping! Still on my list for my essential wardrobe are 2 pairs of lounge pants and 2 cashmere sweaters. I have continued to work on perfecting my "le no makeup" look and most days have looked presentable and pulled together. I still have to go through hundreds of pictures on my camera to delete unwanted photos before my husband will transfer them to the computer.

Soon I will show you my fall outfits and bread baking pleasures. Sometimes it seems like procrastination rules the day, the house will never be perfectly in order, I lose sight of my priorities, and I feel just plain out of sorts. But you can start fresh at any moment of each day, or if the whole day seems to be a failure, there is always tomorrow. Just get out for a walk, even in the rain. Put on some lipstick and a great CD. Make a big pot of soup and get a fire going. You might be surprised to find that you are only a little off track, and just a few, slight adjustments will get things running smoothly again. Today, do one thing that you love and one thing that you don't want to do that needs to be done. Before you go to bed, write down 5 things for which you are grateful this day.

In fact, I'll start right now, and you can put yours in the comments!

1. My aunt who had a stroke Friday night survived and is starting therapy today.
2. My daughter is enjoying visiting a new friend at our house, so I can get things done!
3. I have a roof over my head and a gas log fireplace.
4. Many people are praying for my aunt and have asked how she is doing.
5. My husband provides an income for our family so I can homeschool!

Okay, now I am going to clean the bathroom sink, which I don't feel like doing, and then sometime this evening I will watch one of the many movies I have checked out from the library, such as one of my favorites for this time of year, "Practical Magic." Have a magical day!!

Online Shopping Success!

Last week I received my online purchases, which were things I decided that I needed now rather than later. My new bras from Macy's are the Lilyette "Enchantment" full figured minimizer, which I got in two colors. This bra is comfortable and fits true to size. And as I hoped, I do look less busty and not at all squished down, as can happen sometimes with minimizers. I am small around the under bust in comparison to my ample cup size, so it's really important to be able to see my tiny empire waist! I feel like my figure now looks more balanced rather than top heavy. Do hand launder your bras, especially if you are wearing the same ones often, so that they will hold their shape.

The classic white Ann Taylor Loft blouse I ordered from Ebay fits perfectly! With a curvy figure, a fitted top is actually best. If you wear something too loose and formless, you will just look fat, or as if your bust is a shelf with a table cloth hanging from it. So not chic! The other top that arrived is a French terry baseball style sweatshirt that hits below the hips. This is a flattering length on me, and I've always favored the baseball style shirt. The fabric is so soft on this Style & Company top from Macy's.

My Style & Company chambray blouse with small polka dots is also a great shirt that fits nicely, and my Old Navy sweater coat in a soft brown color from Ebay is so warm and pretty! The only thing that didn't work out was the black belt I ordered from Macy's, which was the wrong length. Why is it so hard to find a good black belt that fits?!

I am actually excited about this fashion season for once, because there are many lovely, wearable options. Every conceivable pants length and style is being offered. With the continuing popularity of leggings and skinny jeans, the tunic or hip length top is a must have, and Anthropologie has some pretty choices, such as this one in chambray:

 

 

 

Hip or tunic length tops looks great with a skinny bottom, but you will also find trousers perfect for tucking in your shirt, and a whole host of pant lengths and widths, from ankle jeans to cropped/capris, to long, wide bottomed pants, with or without cuffs. Harem style, slouchy, fitted, patterned, dressy, or casual--you name it, and it's yours!  

 

 



Anthropologie jeans, fall 2013

 

I've also been noticing a trend toward pairing a casual tee with dressier pants or skirts, such as these combos on Cara Loren and her friend Amber. (Love Amber's pattern mixing here, too!):

 

 

caraloren.com

 

 

Pieces I don't love continue to leave my wardrobe, and new items work their way in, so that hopefully by the time winter is in full swing, I will have a minimal, essential wardrobe that works with my life and personal style. It is a one-piece-at-a-time venture, and patience is key. 



Fall Essentials, Pared Down

(Image: Anthropologie, fall 2013)

 

A few chilly days have thrown me into a minor style panic. Will I be warm enough for the coming seasons?! This says a lot about me. My primary concern is warmth over style. Thinking ahead to long winter days in front of the fireplace leads me to pondering how I will manage to be comfortable and cozy. Yet of course, I don't want to fall into frumpiness. I have a couple of pairs of drawstring pants in a velour fabric that I usually rely upon, but I've been wearing them for years. I think I may keep them for morning walks, when I want to be able to just throw something on, before I actually get dressed for the day. Therefore, they will go into my exercise clothing cubby, rather than into my dresser drawer. I have plenty of time to search for replacements.

I have begun to collect my strictly-for-summer clothing to put into storage. I think I will head to the dollar store today for a couple of bins, since we seem to need at least one more. This week, my plan is to begin to sort through the winter clothes I have stored away. I already brought a few pieces down from the attic to incorporate into my essential wardrobe for fall. Then I started to worry about my dresser drawers and closet becoming too full! Imagine such a problem. You probably can. After spending all that time purging our wardrobes, we don't want to fall back into patterns of having too much clothing yet nothing to wear.

Is it time to shop yet? I have been fighting the urge. The thing is, I have a plan to lose about 12 pounds by Halloween. If I buy new items, they may not fit soon. I'd rather wait until closer to Christmas and then gift myself with a few high quality pieces that I absolutely adore. Doesn't that sound like a better plan?

(Image: Anthropologie, fall 2013)


So first things first. Pare down what I already own, including accessories and outerwear. Then, and only then, make a list of specific pieces to fill in the gaps. Begin to source where I will look for these needed items, and whether it is something to purchase now, or to wait until the inches are lost and/or Christmas is coming. Finally, be merciless in my choices! I want future pieces to be only those things that I will look forward to wearing for years to come.

In this transitional phase, you can have fun combining warmer and cooler weather items. You can wear lightweight trousers in a capri length that translate into fall if you wear socks (or not) and booties, loafers, or ballet flats, rather than sandals, with them. Put a sleeveless or short-sleeved blouse on top and add a cardigan, blazer or jean jacket. The same thing can be done with skirts and dresses. Simply pare them with tights or leggings and closed toe shoes or boots, throwing on a sweater or jacket to keep out the chill. Peep toe shoes can also work, especially with feminine socks. A chic scarf and a cute hat add instant flair when you're out and about and are quintessentially French!

(Image: Anthropologie, fall 2013)

 



The key is to avoid wearing anything that screams summer, either because of the colors, style, or fabric of the item. Keep in mind that it will warm up as the day progresses, so you want to be able to add or remove layers. Some pairs of sandals will still work for fall. I will do my best to begin posting some of my own fall looks next week, now that I have a new camera. So far I have been able to hit the right note for this transitional period by keeping it simple. The other key is to apply the rotating wardrobe aesthetic. This means that you can wear the same clothing, either changing things up or duplicating the exact same outfit, from week to week. If an outfit looks great today, it may also look perfect for church next Sunday. Especially if you are not seeing the same people every day, no one will know that you just wore those jeans with that blouse 5 days ago.

This is how the French manage to look pulled together always. They don't worry about repeating a certain look or wearing the same pieces often, even to the office twice in the same week. Besides, if you tweak the look with different extras and accessories, most likely no one will notice that you wore your black pencil skirt on both Monday and Friday. The more classic pieces in solid, neutral colors do not stand out as much as trendy shapes, patterns, and loud colors, so you can get away with rotating them frequently. Just wear the flashier pieces a little less often, or wear them when you go places where you are not seeing the same people. Keep most of your look neutral, but add a shot of color with your shoes, a statement necklace, or a handbag.

(Lydia cut out loafers by Anthropologie)

 

So how is your closet purging going? Are you feeling more free and less stressed about what to wear? I would love for you to share what is in your essential wardrobe and how it is working for you. Have a lovely week!

Cultivating Your Signature Style

What made it possible for me to do my big wardrobe cleanse was first catching up on the laundry. Some things got packed away in the attic to wear for another season. Tons of items were given to charity.  A few were tucked away, but not too far, for being just a tad too small.

Only keep those pieces that you really like and feel great wearing, and that fit your lifestyle and body right now. This point bears repeating, because if you haven't whittled your wardrobe down to the clothes that you really need and actually do wear, you will have a difficult time discerning your personal style in order to shop wisely for additional items. If you have an item that you like but never wear, consider whether that is because you have nothing to wear with it, in which case you must remedy that situation, or because it really isn't "you".

What if, after you have purged your closet and dresser drawers, you find that you still literally have nothing to wear? You were probably keeping many things that didn't flatter your figure and that you didn't enjoy wearing, because you had nothing better. Now you fear that you will have to go naked. Non, ami. Keep a few presentable pieces, maybe 10 items and a few extras to get you by. Now here are some suggestions that will hopefully help:

1. Simple Abundance: This book, by Sarah Ban Breathnach, takes you through a whole year of unearthing your authentic self, in a series of daily meditations. I recommend this book to every woman. Go to the section where she talks about discovering your authentic, personal fashion style. You will find a goldmine of inspiration in this classic.

2. The Illustrated Discovery Journal: This is one of the tools Sarah Ban Breathnach suggests in Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy. First purchase an artist's sketchbook. Find a pair of scissors and some glue. Turn on soothing music and brew a cup of tea or your favorite drink. Make sure you won't be interrupted. Gather some magazines together that you have lying around, or ask a friend for those that she no longer wants. If you don't have any to use, buy a few current issues. I highly recommend People magazine's monthly Style Watch issue. This features real world, wearable trends in a broad range of prices. Slowly flip through the magazines in a meditative way, cutting out pictures that grab your attention as you go. Any image that stirs your imagination and makes you feel happy looking at it. When you have finished, arrange the images in your sketchbook. You might also clip out words or parts of articles, anything you see that speaks to you in a meaningful way. Set your finished work aside and look at it again later. Do you see a recurring theme? Do the hairstyles, makeup, and fashion you were drawn to resemble your current style?

3. Make a List: Being as specific as you can, make a list of your dream wardrobe. Note the color, fabric, shape, and details of the items you want, ie. boot cut blue jeans in a dark wash; low heeled leopard print dress pumps; a black leather motorcycle jacket; a long sleeved cashmere pullover sweater in pink, etc...

4. Window Shop: Make a trip to a department store and note which designers or labels strike your fancy. When I was shopping for my honeymoon, I discovered that I really liked INC (International Concepts). Once you have found those boutiques or department store lines that reflect your fashion sense and lifestyle, make those your go-to sources when you need something new. Another idea is to shop vintage boutiques, consignment shops, thrift stores, Etsy and Ebay to try to find those brands or similar styles. Take your time, check your budget, and when you are ready...

5. Plan Your Shopping Excursion: Perhaps take a friend along who understands the essential wardrobe concept to help you decide whether something looks good on you or not. Make sure you have eaten and are not tired. Bring snacks and a bottle of water with you, or plan a nice lunch into your day. Have your essential wardrobe list handy, and look for only those items. If you happen upon something not on your list that you just can't live without, and it will mix and match into your wardrobe, buy it. But keep your focus on those pieces that will build the foundation of your streamlined style.

6. Wear Only Your Best: Avoid keeping clothing that is past its prime. If it has holes in it, fits poorly, is ugly, is faded, or has lost its shape, don't wear it. Never tell yourself, I am only going to the grocery store, the playground, or whatever. Inevitably you will run into someone you know, and you will regret looking sloppy. Respect yourself and others with the quality of your appearance. I don't mean that you should wear a ball gown to buy deodorant, simply that one should look pulled together always.

Soon you will be on your way to a closet that makes you smile when you open it, and getting dressed each day will be a joy, something that motivates you to begin your day on the right foot. I promise, this will change your life!

The Cost of Quality

The Essential Wardrobe, having one's clothing streamlined to a small number of key pieces, of good quality, which you can mix and match and comprised only of those items you love to wear, can be had even on a budget. But what if you can only afford clothing at stores like Wal-Mart and K-Mart? Wouldn't you have to sacrifice quality?

Let's begin with the old adage, you get what you pay for. In a sense, this is true. Often cheap products are cheaply made. Buttons fall off, the toy breaks the first time your child plays with it, the sweater quickly pills. Once when I was working as an esthetician at a day spa, I went to put gas in my car on my lunch break. Somehow I spilled gas on my pants and shoes! I could not work in that luxurious environment smelling that way. We had to wear black pants, and I had a limited amount of time, so I ran to K-Mart and bought a pair of pants for $3 on clearance. Everything about these slacks was awful--the look, the fit, the fabric; they were hideous! I never wore them again after that day. Yes, sometimes you get what you pay for.

Then again... Yesterday I paid $3 at Goodwill for a pair of Italian patent leather dress pumps. Real leather, not faux. I also paid $4 for a super cute pair of Jones corduroys in a gorgeous garnet red. They are ankle length and wide at the bottom and will look wonderful with either flats or boots. A Ralph Lauren, short-sleeved polo sweater was a similar price in a pretty coral. Quality designer clothing at K-Mart clearance prices.

In Columbus I would find amazing vintage, ethnic, and high quality clothing at garage sales in wealthier, hip areas of the city such as Victorian Village and German Village. My friend Dawn had a yard sale to get rid of clothes from her former life in New York City, which no longer fit her. I got a whole chic wardrobe for $5. I have an A-line coat that is very Audrey Hepburn, in the perfect mushroom color, that I got at Old Navy and have worn for years. It is made of cotton, is lined, and works well for spring or fall. The buttons have never fallen off, and it has held up very well. The style is classic and versatile.

Conversely, you may pay top dollar for low quality, name brand clothing. You never know. You must look closely. How does it fit? Is the cut flattering? Is the material flimsy? Are the buttons already coming loose when the item in brand new? And my #1 pet peeve--is it cut crookedly? This is such a common problem, poorly cut clothing with seams that are not straight, even with designer labels. Lay the piece flat and make sure the pant legs don't twist and the shirt hangs straight.

I went to the boutique I mentioned that carries Free People clothing yesterday. Even the sale prices were way too high. The styles were nothing special, and yet a white t-shirt was something like $80. As I looked at price tags, I wondered if the shop's owner, or the creator of this clothing, thought that the public is either extremely gullible or bordering on insanity. Black leggings with fake leather (polyurethane) trim for $100? I am better than that, and so are you.

Maybe you have never thought about it this way, but all clothing is designer clothing. It's true. Someone designs everything, even for Wal-Mart. Also, all clothing is brand name. Sonoma is a Kohl's brand. Jaclyn Smith is a K-Mart brand. Moth is an Anthropologie brand. Mossimo is at Target. You get the idea. Famous designer brands may or may not be higher quality than the lower end stores offer. Yes, you get what you pay for if you are not careful. But no, you don't have to pay outrageous prices to obtain a quality essential wardrobe. The key is to find your signature style, and to stick with it, being scrupulously discriminating. What is your personal style, and what are the brands that carry it? That is a topic for another joie de vivre day...

How Many Essential Wardrobe Items Do You Need?

Today I received my Ebay order--and was disappointed. It really does usually work out well ordering clothing online! One of the blouses didn't fit well, and the other had a small hole. The jersey dress was okay but did not make me look and feel fabulous. It was fine, but I asked myself, "Will I feel great wearing this?" I could see bulges in my middle that were not flattering. Yes, I want to lose some weight, but we must dress for the bodies we have right now! Not the bodies we hope to have. So the whole order is going back to the seller.

This is a good lesson, though. Maybe since I am focusing on buying only items that I love from now on, I really need to shop in person most of the time. Mailing stuff back is a pain in the butt. The thing is, where I live I am an hour away from a shopping mall. But there is a boutique which sells Free People clothing less than a half hour away, and outlet stores a few minutes from that. There is a small department store in the next town, and there are thrift stores and consignment shops in the area. I think shopping in person has just seemed overwhelming since moving from the city. Now that I am focused, however, now that I am being very discriminating and have clear goals--indeed, a mission--I can take my time and not feel stressed about the process.

The weather has actually been cooling where I live lately, in the low 70s with low humidity, and cooler in the evenings. I have worn my Clarks booties a couple of times and have thrown on a cardigan and my jean jacket on occasion. I think I should venture into the attic and see what I have stored away for winter. I keep picturing my black dress pants in my mind and an orange blazer I got as an investment piece last year. I should go through all of those clothes too and pare them down to the essentials. Then I can really make my wish list and begin to seriously shop for those very few pieces I really need.

So exactly how many items does one need for the essential wardrobe? Again, this means that you only keep those items that you feel great wearing and that you actually do wear. Only those pieces which fit you well right now. If you are 5 pounds away from being able to wear a fabulous pair of pants, keep them but tuck them away. If you have things in your closet that are two sizes too small, however, find them a new home, or pack them far away in the attic or basement. Not every item needs to go with everything else, but you should be able to mix and match your pants, skirts, tops, dresses, shoes, sweaters, etc... In this way you will keep from getting bored with a pared down wardrobe. Getting dressed has been so much easier and fun since I began the joie de vivre adventure! You need high quality clothing, the best you can afford, and at the best price you can get it.

I don't think there is any magical number, but perhaps the essential wardrobe for fall would break down something like this, depending upon your lifestyle, work situation, and preferences:

4 blouses
4 t-shirts
2 pairs of jeans
1 pair of khaki pants
2 pairs of dress pants
2 blazers
2 cardigans
2 pull over sweaters
2 skirts
2 dresses
2 camisoles or turtle necks
(lingerie, pajamas, and exercise clothes are separate)

Twenty-five essential pieces seems reasonable! If that hits you as really sparse, think about all of the times you have seen magazines showcase five or so key items for the season and all of the different ways they can be combined. And consider that you will also have essential extras and accessories such as tights, leggings, socks, scarves, shawls, ponchos, shells, vests, jewelry, hats, belts and hand bags that will facilitate making the same clothes look totally different! What one person considers an essential may be an extra to someone else. The exact number in your essential wardrobe is not so important as streamlining your choices to show your style to your best advantage and to work your clothing easily into your life. Be honest--would you rather have one perfect cashmere sweater in your favorite color that makes you feel divine, or five nondescript, cheap acrylic sweaters that make you feel sweaty? Don't forget the all-important shoes as well. Your essential shoe wardrobe might include:

1 pair of loafers
1 pair of ballet flats
2 pairs of boots
1 pair of dress shoes
1 pair of workout shoes
1 pair of sandals (for Indian summer days...)

Could you get by with only 7 pairs of shoes (this is just for fall/winter--you would have 7 more for spring/summer)? It's a lucky number, after all. I think that if every piece in your essential wardrobe was good quality and you adored wearing it, it is more than doable. It would be sooo freeing! There is also the "investment piece" category, such as an expensive formal dress or luxurious silk blouse that you plan to have for years to come. There must be a balance, so that you have enough that you are not constantly fighting to keep up with your laundry, but not so much that you can't even see what is in your closet and drawers. French women can keep their clothes in good condition longer, because they launder them less. Rather than throwing everything in the dirty clothes after wearing it once, they air out their clothes so they can wear them again.

Perhaps you will want to make your own list and evaluate what type of clothing you need for all of your activities. Do you like to wear dresses, or do prefer to usually live in blue jeans? What items could be worn for both work and weekends? Maybe you need two sets of essentials, one for your job and the other for your home life. I have way more of some of the items than I listed above. But soon I will be putting the summer-specific clothes away. Maybe nothing will replace them, or maybe I will decide that my fall wardrobe still has some holes that need to be filled.

I imagine that the longer I practice this way of dressing, the easier it will be to continue to pare down and to ultimately establish my ideal essential wardrobe. When the temperature really drops, I will pull in my warmer winter clothes and evaluate again what I might need to purchase, and then come spring it will be time to do it all again. It is an ongoing process, as our lives, tastes, interests, and bodies change, as we grow as women and get closer to being the person whom God intends us to be. I believe it is a journey worth pursuing.

Happy purging, and joyous shopping to you!
Love,
dancingmommio

Essential Wardrobe Building

Let's continue the conversation of the essential wardrobe and how it relates to the French concept of joie de vivre. After all, the French are known for the art of conversation! Building one's essential wardrobe first means tearing down what currently exists, as we have discussed. Today I went back into my closet and removed some belts that were too small, a nightgown (I can't stand long nightgowns!) that I didn't even know I still had, some scarves, and other items. These too will go to the thrift store I previously mentioned, which is only open on Wednesdays and Fridays. This means that my three large bags have been sitting in my kitchen since Sunday, when I did the big cleanse. I think this is a good thing. If there was something I really wanted to keep after all, it would not be too late.

For example, yesterday I ordered three pairs of shoes from Kohl's. The dress shoes, pretty nude pumps, were cancelled. I am disappointed. Now what will I do if I need a dress shoe? I have the option of pulling my black high heels back out of the bag. Yet realistically, I wouldn't want to wear them. They make my once-broken knee hurt, and they kill my toes. With the back problems I've been having, wearing high heels would be stupid. The two pairs of ballet flats I ordered, one black, faux patent leather, and the other a purple faux velvet with tassels and silver metal embellishments, will arrive soon. Either of these could be worn with a dressier outfit. Yes, I want a pair of pumps now, because I want my essential wardrobe to be complete. But here is the next lesson: learn to wait.

If I buy something just to have it, but am not excited about it, I won't love to wear the shoes. Therefore, I won't wear them, and I will have wasted money. Instead, I must wait for the right shoes to come along. A local department store is clearing out their summer shoes right now, so they should have some new ones for fall soon. Or maybe if we go shopping for some new clothes and shoes for Beezy, I can look at the designer shoe outlet store about a half hour away. Perhaps when I drive to Ft. Wayne for my annual bra shopping at Macy's, I'll also look at shoes. Imagining how happy I will be when I find just the right pair will hopefully help me to be patient! Last year my parents gave me Amazon gift cards for Christmas, and I used them to finally purchase a pair of Clarks booties that I had really been wanting and needing. Once I had them, so many outfits were complete! It was worth the wait, and now I am excited to wear them again this fall.

That reminds me of a friend of mine named Cheryl from high school who I lived with for a year in college. Cheryl had a really unique pair of brown leather shoes that she wore all the time. And I do mean, all the time. Cheryl loved those shoes. When they wore out, she got them re-soled. Who knows how many years she got out of her perfect footwear. I bet she cried when she finally had to say good-bye. Ideally, that's how every item in your essential wardrobe should be. Don't buy good enough. Buy just right.

I think that the notion of buying the best quality clothing that you can afford doesn't go far enough. I would add to buy the best you can afford at the lowest price you can find it! It almost makes me feel richer to do this. It's like a frugal sort of snobbishness. I could pay $100 for a cashmere sweater, for example, but I don't wish to. Maybe I don't want to spend more than $45. Why should I have to spend more than I want to for anything? Think of yourself as so tres chic that they really should give you their clothing for free, it would be such an honor to them for you to deign wearing it. Try this trick. Write down the items that you desire on a list, being as specific as you can. I did this when I was a poor, single school teacher and had an unexpected opportunity to go to NYC for the first time. What would I wear?! I took my list into a Cancer Society thrift store and found everything on it, or nearly so. I was thrilled with my travel wardrobe for the Big Apple! I find that when I put the request out there to the cosmos, if you will, in a very intentional way, I get what I need at just the right price.

The most put together woman I know is my own mother. She always looks nice. No matter what. Even back in the days when she had small children--I'm the oldest of six--and stayed home with us, she always took the time to put on makeup and hot roller her hair. In fact, I had to go home from high school early one day, because my dad was out of town, and my mom's water had broken. She was about to have a baby, and I needed to be there when my other siblings got home from school. I ran upstairs in a panic to find her, and there she was in front of the bathroom mirror, calming apply eye shadow. I was shocked. "Well, I want to look nice when I go to the hospital," she said. My mom is sooo French! I went to the hospital to give birth in my pajamas! No makeup. Maybe I brushed my teeth.

My mom wears designer clothes, but I don't think she would ever pay full price for them. I think this is where I get my stubbornness from. The thrill of the hunt--consignment shops, thrift stores, vintage boutiques, clearance racks, and for me, Ebay--is part of the fun. You don't have to be rich to look rich. One key is to know what brands you really like. My favorite store is Anthropologie, and when I lived in Columbus, I could shop there in person. I couldn't afford the clothes at full price, but they had spectacular clearance sales, and I was picky. I only ever paid full price once. Now I get my Anthropologie on Ebay. I also like Ann Taylor Loft and Free People. Sometimes I find something great in a surprising place, like the floral rayon maxi dress I got at Target for about $7.00! Actually, I think my husband found it for me. He has really good taste and knows what looks good on me. That's another tip--find a free personal shopper!

I hate going to Kohl's stores. They depress me. Maybe it's the lighting; I don't know. But their online website is so easy to use, which I found out when I was really desperate for some new clothes, and I have been happy with my purchases. A Simply Vera pair of ballet flats I got from there hurt my feet, though, so I didn't wear them much and am now giving them away. I could have sent them back or taken them to the store to return, so that's my own fault. When ordering from Ebay, very often the sellers will list specific measurements for the items, so I have rarely received something that didn't fit. One pair of pants was too big, which I had my grandma alter. That's another good tip--find a tailor! A too-small shirt became a Christmas present for a friend. Know what styles and shapes look good on you, and usually you can tell what will work when shopping online. Of course, knowing what looks good on you comes with time. Trial and error is part of the game.

Well, I hope that gives you some more food for thought! Now, get back in your closet, be merciless, and make your wish list! Oh, I got my brown and black belts today on sale at Peebles. I think I will add a cashmere sweater, once I decide on what color I want, to my wish list. I also need comfortable tights that don't leave unsightly bulges around my middle. Once I have those things and my dress pumps, I think I will be done shopping for fall. Done! And isn't that joie de vivre?

The Wardrobe Cleanse

I had to sit and take a break! I think I overly inspired myself with "The Essential Wardrobe" article, on the tenets of French style. I just filled three tall garbage bags full of my clothes and shoes to donate to charity! I threw in some hats, scarves, and a purse to top off the last bag. I will still have to sort through coats, jackets, hats, gloves, mittens and scarves on another day. Incidentally, I pulled all kinds of weirdness out of that purse (gum balls, a white medicine tablet of some sort, diaper ointment, bee pollen, and a broken candy cane, among others things).

My husband was not surprised at all by these items, but he said, "You're giving that away? That's a really nice purse." I said, "Yes, but I don't need it, and someone else will just love it! It's going to be like Christmas for somebody, especially the woman who wears a size 9 shoe." He thought maybe we should have a yard sale. No! Not only do I want this stuff out of my house ASAP, but I explained that you have to give your abundance away for it to come back to you. I went on to tell him about our priest's homily on Saturday, which began with a poem about how when you give of yourself, tenfold comes back to you. "I don't even need tenfold!" I proclaimed. "Threefold would be plenty." Well, the man was silent. He doesn't often go to Mass.

We have stairs, so it was a lot of running down with the heavy bags. I also hauled shoes upstairs to my closet. The whole family's shoes have been thrown into a rustic trunk in the kitchen to try to keep them off the floor. Not only do they still get sprawled all over the floor, but nice shoes get squished, and it's a pain to try to find a pair in the box. It seemed like a good idea. It isn't. Most of the shoes I gave away no longer fit, since I gained half a size after giving birth. Why was I holding onto these? The only too-small pair I kept were souvenir snakeskin heels my mom got me in Italy. I am also holding onto my riding boots for now. Equestrian styles regularly make an appearance. I'll have to try them on and see if they are wearable.

How much lighter I now feel! I was merciless. If it was stained, had lost its shape, was faded, uncomfortable, didn't fit well, didn't make me feel attractive when I wore it, or it just bothered me to look at it for some unfathomable reason, I said good-bye. What kept me from panicking was the fact that I ordered two nice blouses and a dress from Ebay yesterday, so I will have a new item for each of the bags I'm giving away. And most of the stuff was still very nice for whoever gets it for free at the thrift store (you can take up to 20 items at no cost!) Thinking about making other people happy who can't afford nice things takes the sting out of the process.

Do a wardrobe assessment. Are you not wearing something because of one of the reasons I mentioned above, or are you just not having fun getting dressed? Always looking put together and pretty gives me energy and enhances my mood. It makes life seem more interesting and meaningful. I feel more creative and inspired. Maybe you "save" some clothes for church or going out to dinner that you could be wearing for every day life. You may have some formal dresses that you only wear for weddings or really dressy occasions; but otherwise, I give you permission to look nice even if you never leave the house all day. Oh, and just because you bought something once, or someone gave it to you as a gift, doesn't mean you have to keep it. Really.

Now make a list. Once you have purged your closet and dresser drawers, what do you really need to buy this season? Sometimes I don't wear certain things because I just don't have the right shoes or boots, or because I don't have the right top to wear with those pants. I have a very small butt, so sometimes I don't wear things because they droop, and I don't have the right belt! For fall, I really need a brown belt and a black belt. I could really use a new pair of casual walking shoes and low-heeled dress pumps. Honestly, that should do it. As long as my new blouses fit when they arrive this week, I should be set! Only purchase those items that you believe to be beautiful and know to be useful.

Less really can be more--and that too is joie de vivre!

The Essential Wardrobe

Continuing with our exploration of joie de vivre, we must naturally pursue the topic of what to wear. It may seem counterintuitive, but I think that we often can't find anything we want to wear, simply because we have too many clothes. Much of what is in our closets and drawers are items that we never wear. Or if we do wear them, it is not because we love them, but simply because they are there. We are not choosing an outfit so much as dressing by default. Can you imagine having only those pieces in your wardrobe that you really like and feel great wearing?

I am arguing today for the concept of the essential wardrobe. First of all, if everything in your closet is jammed tightly together, you have too much stuff. Before anything else, put any off-season clothing away. I pack mine in plastic tubs and have my husband haul it to the attic. It is still summer, but we will be heading into a transitional time here in the Midwest. Some of your summer items will still be needed. You will need a few layering pieces, such as a jean jacket, a blazer, and cardigan sweaters. Ankle pants are still in style. I have two pairs from Kohl's that I have worn since spring, in a lightweight denim. One is a cherry red, the other a soft rosy beige. These can be worn right into fall.

When I feel hot I like my underarms to be free, so I wear sleeveless, floral dresses and camisoles/t-shirts, often with lace trim. If you get chilly, simply add a blazer, jean jacket, or cardigan! I prefer natural fabrics all year round, such as cotton and silk. Rayon also seems to breathe well. Wool is fine as long as it isn't itchy! A small percentage of synthetic fabric is usually okay as long as the majority of the blend is natural.

Now let's talk quality. This is key to emulating the French way of dressing. French women spend their money on high quality clothing but buy less pieces. They tend toward classic styles and neutral colors, using accessories to add a splash of pattern and color, or to reflect a current trend. They may wear one colorful item, such as a bright red skirt, while the rest of the outfit will be neutral. They do not purchase a ton of clothing every season in order to be up-to-the-minute in style. Being chic is more about a woman's individual personality and self-expression. The French woman knows what looks good on her and is never fashion's slave!

Lately I have been doing my makeup a la Jennifer L. Scott's "le no makeup" look. I'll talk more about the specific products I use and application methods in another post. The point is, I am customizing an easy makeup routine so that in a matter of minutes I can put my best face forward. I get dressed with the intention of this philosophy--always look pulled together. In order to always look presentable, getting dressed needs to be easy, which means paring down one's wardrobe to the bare essentials. You need items that you really enjoy wearing, that fit you well, and that can easily be mixed and matched. You need a few pairs of shoes and boots that can work into your wardrobe without fuss. Shoes make or break the outfit. Your essential wardrobe also includes paring down your shoes, scarves, jewelry, and purses.

Following the French way, you buy the best you can afford, and you can afford more expensive clothing because you prioritize quality over quantity! Today I am wearing a pink, white and black, cotton floral sun dress that I got from Good Will, which is a Kohl's brand. My hair is in a simple bun. I'm wearing silver, dangling flower earrings, my wedding ring, a pearl necklace, and a silver and pearl rosary bracelet. When I walked the dog today (in peep-toed, stacked black shoes from the Bass outlet store), I talked to everyone I encountered in the neighborhood, even people I didn't know. I felt friendly and confident. I was more open and genuine because I had taken the time to look pulled together--and that is joie de vivre.