Spring on the Modern Homestead

With temperatures in the 70s today, it is time to think about preparing for spring! Whether you live out in the country, in a town, suburb, or urban center, you can begin a return with me to the homesteading approach to living. I already have flowers budding and blooming in my yard! The robins, doves, and other birds have returned, and before you know it, the time will come to plant your garden. So for now, make a list of projects you want to accomplish this spring. Using either a notebook or individual note cards, write the name of each project at the top, and then a list of steps and materials needed to complete it. And ladies, it is fine to make lists for your husbands, too!

Meticulous cleaning is an obvious spring endeavor, but I want you to go deeper this year. It is hard to keep a cluttered house in reasonable order. So throw open the doors and windows, and start looking around. Do one room at a time. The bedroom should be a sanctuary, so always keep this room clean, dusted, vacuumed, and uncluttered. A peaceful room encourages peaceful sleep, and a messy room does just the opposite. Also set up at least one outdoor living area which is a sanctuary. This can be a screened (or not screened) porch, a patio, a bench in the yard next to a birdbath, the stoop at the top of your apartment steps, or a tree house. You need areas to which you can retreat while sorting out the rest of your spaces.

We will enlist the help of The Wabi Sabi House, by Robyn Griggs Lawrence, in order to visualize our pared down homesteads. Colors are earthy, the outdoors connects with the inner dwellings, natural materials are used, sound is reduced, life flows with the seasons, beauty is imperfect, and tranquility prevails. Oh, and there is a noticeable absence of stuff. Decorations are sparse but make a statement and are not mass produced. Nor is the interior stark. Handmade and vintage objects, unique treasures associated with cherished memories, and well-worn, well-loved artifacts abound. The home is homey and is a respite from the clamor of the outside world. Nothing is allowed that doesn't have meaning, usefulness, and/or beauty (and preferably contains all three!).

Some say that we can't return to a past era and way of life, as the protagonist played by Owen Wilson in the movie, Midnight in Paris wished fervently to do. I can relate to him. I have always felt that I belong to another time. A more romantic, more glamourous,  more magical, or more innocent time. Yes, we live in the here and now. You could replace your car with a horse and buggy, but you probably won't. Still, you could check your email less often, say, only once a day. Limit television viewing to 5 hours a week, or turn it off for a whole month (gasp!). For the love of God, at least unplug your children. Cell phones should not go to school and should be handed over at bedtime. A TV should never be in a child's bedroom (or yours either), and neither should a computer or video games.

I'm going to give you food for thought and track my own progress this spring. Let's see if we can, after all, turn back the clock just a smidgen to the days when humans were vitally connected to the earth, when kids played in the backyard using their imaginations, clothes were hung on the line, and women baked their own bread. Let's just experiment. Change our habits. Reinvent ourselves, our families, our lives! Let's wake up from our malaise and breathe the new air. A little at a time, one day at a time, here on the modern homestead.

Charity Begins at Home

The Rosary begins with making the sign of the cross, "in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen."  Holding the cross, the Apostles Creed is recited. Then comes the first bead, upon which the Our Father prayer is said. The next three beads are Hail Marys, and one meditates upon the three greatest virtues according to 1 Corinthians 13--faith, hope, and charity. Older bibles use that word, charity, while more recent translations replace charity with love.

Every time I said the Rosary, this Charity thing nagged at me. What does this mean? Is it the same as Love? Well, yes, but it has specific connotations, which I defined in my last post, The Blessing of Children. When I typically thought of charity, I understood it as giving to the poor and needy. Donating to charity. Charitable organizations. The biblical Charity certainly refers to this but expands the meaning to a lovingkindness, or compassion, extended to all of humanity. It emphasizes a leniency of judgment and a reflection of God's mercy. It encompasses a generosity of spirit and an openness of heart. Sacrifice is surely inherent to the concept. Love, or Charity, in 1 Corinthians 13 is never described as a feeling, but rather as a state of being, denoted by the verb "is". Love is patient, love is kind... And what it is not, ie., haughty, selfish, or rude. It does not keep an account of wrongs suffered. Charity is action oriented. It is about being generous with one's time, attitude, and attention, not just with one's money.

This passage is so popular at weddings, for the very reason that it is not about passing emotions, or romantic feelings. It "bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things." Faith and hope are high on the list, but "the greatest of these is Charity."  Love never fails. That is, God is Love, and He never fails, and likewise we are not to withhold our Charity. Christian charity is to be extended to others NO MATTER WHAT. Tall order.

Today that old saying, "Charity begins at home" came to mind. When researching homeschooling and the concerns of others regarding socialization (I can hardly stand the word anymore!), a mother wisely wrote that proper socialization must begin at home. People in a family need to learn to get along with one another first and foremost. Husbands and wives must honor each other. Children must respect their parents. Siblings must be taught conflict resolution. Good habits must be established. Pets must be taken care of. Responsibilities must be shared. Parents must not antagonize their children. And so on. An attitude of Charity must be learned and practiced beginning in the home. You don't feed the birds but let your children starve. You don't volunteer for the benefit of others in the community to the neglect of your own children.

The Holy Family

It follows that if Charity begins at home, then the extended family comes next in widening the circle. For example, the feelings and needs of a grandchild take precedence over the opinion of an adult friend or neighbor. This does not mean that you allow inappropriate behavior, but you extend an attitude of grace to the little one. You model to the child respect for oneself, for others, and for the environment. If you don't make the welfare of your own immediate and extended family a priority, how will the children know how to best operate in the world?  Why does it seem so difficult for some Christians to focus on Charity toward those closest to them? If you would not talk to a friend from church or colleague at the office in a certain way, why do you talk to your husband, daughter, wife, son, sister, or grandchild that way? And no family member should be treated as lesser than another. Think about whether you extend unconditional love and acceptance to your own family members.

Unfortunately, the model of many Christians is not one of Charity. Some Christians don't have their priorities straight, and they worry about what outsiders think of them and their family more than they care about the consideration of their own family members. These people go to church but live quite a different life the rest of the week. This kind of hypocrisy turns so many people off ever wanting to be Christian, or makes it hard to admit for some that they are Christians themselves. They don't want to be associated with the "holier than thou" crowd who see the speck in the eye of someone else but not the log in their own.

Sometimes I get caught up in what other people think of my parenting. I feel like an open sore being stared and poked at. What if I don't want to belong to a homeschooling co-op this year? How many times a week does my child play with other children? Can she read as well as others her age? Should I put her in some kind of lessons? If her behavior doesn't live up to the expectations of others, will they think it is because she is homeschooled, or because I'm not a good enough mother? Wow, what a pile of buffalo chips to have to step around! (That's buffalo poop, in case you didn't know.) Whose business is any of this, anyway? Should I live my life trying to anticipate what will make other people happy? I will tell you right now, unequivocally, that it won't work. So stop slinking around corners holding a mirror and watching out for the basilisk living in Hogwart's castle. You will become paralyzed and not be able to function.

None of this stuff matters if my child does not receive unconditional love and acceptance from her family, whether immediate or extended. And that goes for the grace of Charity when it comes to how others treat my husband and I, too. So what should you do if someone is less than charitable toward you? You are still required to love him or her. But sometimes you just have to walk away, blessing others to go in peace, protecting your home front from harm. Although a door may close for now, perhaps a window will someday open. So keep your eyes on the ball of Love, my friends. Give the best example of your faith and hope that you can through the power of Charity, and let it begin at home (but also don't let it end there!).

1 Timothy 5:8 - But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

Classic Style and Beauty for Spring

Classic fashion has been showcased in the media lately, beginning with the 1920s and spanning over many decades. It can be overwhelming sorting through constantly revolving trends, especially for us women of a certain age who have long since left our teens and twenties behind. We want to look youthful and beautiful, but we also need practical styles that work for everyday life. We don't want to appear to be trying too hard to hold on to our younger days; we want to look great for our age. The plus side is that we can wear chic, sophisticated fashions that would look silly on a girlish model. But where to start? I'm going to focus on clothes for day that would be appropriate for both stay-at-home mothers or working women who can get away with casual office attire.

Woody Allen's latest feature film, Midnight in Paris, showcases both the 1920s and modern style. French actress Marion Cotillard is lovely in dropped waist dresses, low heels, and a wavy bob hairstyle. A shorter dress like this without too much fringe or beading allows for free movement and a feminine shape that will work for most figures. Vintage dresses from this period are usually in fragile condition and very expensive, but luckily the style Marion is wearing is current for spring! Just check your local department store or boutique.

Marion Cotillard in Midnight in Paris

Rachel McAdams is the other leading lady in Midnight in Paris, and her character favors 1980s inspired skinny jeans and tunic tops, with a belt slung on the hips. This is another easy, casual look, and leggings can be worn in lieu of jeans. Cropped, structured jackets and blazers are also in vogue. Rachel's hair is softly layered, wavy, and shoulder length.

 Rachel McAdams in Midnight in Paris

The 1940s also supplies inspiration for casual looks that work for today. Knee length dresses are flattering on everyone and also allow for free movement that is feminine and pretty. Wedge shoes with open or peek-a-boo toes or shoes with low, chunky heels work well with this classic style. Here is a typical 40s day dress:

Keira Knightley and Sienna Miller in The Edge of Love, set in the 1940s, provide gorgeous inspiration, in boots fit for rainy days or the beach:

And here is the quintessential 40s screen siren Rita Hayworth, with the most gorgeous hair:

Make-up:  Red lips like Rita's are classic, but be careful of makeup that is too matte, which can look dated and is not the most kind to fine lines. Choose neutral shades for the eyelids, and line only on top, staying as close to the eyelashes as possible. Rosy cheeks, especially in a cream blush, keep one looking fresh and glowing. Lip liner tends to be aging, so apply lipstick first with your finger tip, and apply a little liner only if needed, making sure you cannot discern the line. A soft shimmer on the eyes and creamy or slightly glossy lips are flattering. If red lipstick is too much for day, try a juicy pink, peach, or berry for a shot of color. The idea is a polished but natural look, and don't forget the mascara! 

The television show, "Mad Men" has brought back the 1950s. While these dresses are not as wearable on a daily basis, they are the epitomy of ladylike style and would be perfect for a dinner date, fancy picnic, garden party, night out at the theater, wedding, cocktail party, or "art hop" in the city.

Marilyn Monroe is, of course, the paragon of 50s glamour. Liquid black eyeliner was worn on the upper lid only, winged beyond the corner of the eye:

Michelle Williams recently played the mysterious beauty on the big screen, and here she is in a classic trench coat and scarf, a must for spring:

Hollywood lost its last great legend last year, the incomparable Elizabeth Taylor. Her bra top is right in style!

Hair: Notice that all of these beauties are wearing soft, touchable, wavy hairstyles. This can be achieved by drying naturally wavy or curly hair with a diffuser, but without scrunching; instead gently rake fingers through hair to loosen curls. Hot rollers will do the trick for straight hair, or strategic use of a curling iron. To reduce heat damage, blow dry hair until just damp, then roll with velcro rollers and air dry for 15 minutes while applying make-up. Hair can be pinned into a half-updo like Elizabeth's, or held back on the sides with combs or barettes. A deep side part with hair worn down or pinned up on one side only is classic.

But on the practical side, early spring can be very windy and rainy, especially where I live, in a tornado prone area. So you must have examples of the "undone" updo handy. The overly coiffed 1960s look is too matronly and helmet like. Here is how it's best done today:

Keira Knightley

Rachel McAdams

No study of classic style and beauty would be complete without Audrey Hepburn. Think capris pants, fitted blouses and cardigan sweaters, full skirts, and ballet flats or kitten heels. And it almost goes without saying, the little black dress...

Accessories: Don't forget to protect your eyes with 100% UVA/UVB sunglasses. Cat's eye style or oversized like Jacki O are perfect complements to the classic wardrobe. Vintage jewelry is fun to hunt for, or you can contact your Premier Jewelry lady for designer, vintage like styles at affordable prices. Happy spring, all you lovely doves out there!! Time to come out in the sunshine, pretty as rose...

The Blessing of Children

Then little children were brought to Him that He might put His hands on them and pray, but the disciples rebuked them. But Jesus said, "Let the little children come to Me, and do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of heaven." And he laid his hands on them and departed from there (Matthew 19:13-15).

There are so many Bible verses on the blessing of children that I could not contain them here, so I will give you a sampling as I go. Continuing on the topic of motherhood as vocation, it is important to understand how emphatically Jesus and the Bible express children as blessings. There are some parents who really don't like their children much, or see them as a burden, or even a curse. This situation is among the saddest in the world. Exactly how important are children to Jesus? Here is what He says: 

At that time the disciples came to Jesus, saying, "Who then is greatest in the kingdom of heaven?" And Jesus called a little child to Him, set him in the midst of them, and said, "Assuredly I say to you, unless you are converted and become as little children, you will by no means enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore whoever humbles himself as this little child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoever receives one little child like this in My name receives Me" (Matthew 18:1-5).

To fail to see Jesus in the face of a child is to fail to see Jesus. How else should anyone receive a child but as if he were receiving the Lord himself? Most of us are guilty of falling short of Jesus' admonitions. It is heartbreaking when those who should love a child unconditionally--mothers, fathers, grandparents, aunts and uncles--are harsh with that child, condemning and unforgiving. These things, along with placing unrealistically high expectations upon the child, ignoring her or failing to be loving, patient, kind, and understanding are symptoms of a fall from grace. There is a kind of Christian love called charity. Charity involves benevolent goodwill toward humanity and lenient judgment toward others. Charity points to God's mercy. 

A woman, when she is in labor, has sorrow because her hour has come; but as soon as she has given birth to the child, she no longer remembers the anguish, for joy that a human being has been born into the world (the words of Jesus, John 16:21).

Charity should be extended to all of God's children, big or small. Don't forget to extend the same charity to parents as you do to children. Parents need help and support from their families and friends in raising their children in the faith. Folks, let's give others the benefit of the doubt. We are all doing the best we can, and being mothers and fathers is the most difficult, and most important, vocation in the world. In neither word nor deed cause a mother to doubt herself. Lift her up, tell her what a great job she is doing and how amazing her kids truly are. Love and accept parents and children unconditionally. Do not withhold your charity, causing another to stumble. Otherwise, Jesus says you will not see the kingdom of heaven.

Grandchildren are the crown of old men (Proverbs 17:6).

Common wisdom tells us that the most ferocious creatures in the world are mothers defending their children. Be your child's advocate. Protect your children all that you can from harm, whether physical, mental, or emotional. Mothers, honor your vocation as Jesus honors it. Honor and love yourself as God honors and loves you. Mother your children through the inspiration of the Holy Spirit. You will make mistakes, but be gentle with yourself and your children, and let no one treat your family unmercifully. When your children are grown, give them no less honor. This is your calling.

Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, The fruit of the womb is His reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, So are the children of one's youth. Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them; They shall not be ashamed, But shall speak with their enemies in the gate (Psalm 127:3-5).

Homeschooling as Vocation

As some of you are already aware, homeschooling is not always a popular choice. I would go so far as to say that it is rare that one would not encounter any negativity or opposition. While I felt called to homeschool my child, only recently have I come to really understand it as a vocation. Every day I have the opportunity to choose to see teaching my child as God's calling, as my work for him and for his glory, acting in cooperation with his will.

In modern society, the emphasis is on "What do I want to do with my life?" I graduated from college in a poor job market, with hopes of working in the field of public relations, doing something with my speaking and writing skills. I went to a career counselor at Ohio State, who suggested looking into working for a non-profit agency, and I read a book called Profitable Careers in Non-Profits, or something like that. Feeling like I was having trouble pinpointing the right career for myself, I read another book called What Color Is Your Parachute? I had so many interests that it was difficult to choose just one thing. There is a reason that self-help books are such a popular category.

Even when one focuses on what she wants and spends a lot of time trying to figure out who she is and what her great work in life will be (always imagining something fabulous involving fame and wealth), making God's choice secondary in the matter, if conferring with him at all, God still has a way of leading one to his plan. When Beezy was a baby and the idea of homeschooling came up, I told my husband that I would not do that, because when she was five, I wanted my life back! My mom had told me on a number of occasions, "This is your life now," and of course she was right, but I just didn't get it yet. I did not comprehend that I was never to have my old life back again. And thank goodness! For it is far richer now than it could ever have been had I not become a mother. That is the truth for me. 

I recently started reading to Beezy from the Loyola Kids Book of Saints by Amy Welbourn. This is a great resource for teaching history and religion. The notion of who saints are is perfectly explained at an elementary age level, without dumbing anything down, and the stories are told in an interesting way, helping to relate each saint's life to the life of the child. Today we read about Catherine of Siena, who made an unusual, unpopular choice of vocation, especially for a woman of her times. She knew even as a child that she wanted more than anything else to be close to Jesus, and she decided that the best way to put him first was to never get married. Living from 1347-1380, about the only other acceptable choice for a woman in those times was to become a nun, but she was certain that God did not want that for her either!

Prayer was the most important thing in Catherine's life, and some of her choices baffled and even frightened people. She ate nothing but a spoonful of herbs a day, and she only slept about thirty minutes a night--on hard boards. People thought she was so strange! But Catherine was concentrating her whole self, body and soul, on God. She wasn't trying to worry her parents or upset people. She knew God was preparing her for a big job, and in order to carry out his will, she had to be free, strong, and close to God. Through the example of her life and teaching others about God, people all over Europe knew about her. And they listened to her. Even the pope himself, as it turns out.

The pope was living in splendor in France instead of in Rome where he was supposed to be, because the king of France controlled him and the Church. Christians everywhere were confused, not knowing if the pope was speaking for God anymore. Catherine stood before him unafraid and gave him a message from God. He was to return to Rome and freely lead the Church, as Jesus wanted him to do. Late one night, the pope secretly left France and returned to Italy.

At the end of the story the author says, "St. Catherine of Siena didn't care about other people's opinions or expectations. The only opinion that mattered to her was God's. Can you think of times when you've had to follow your conscience and do the right thing even though other people discouraged you?"

Homeschooling can be a lonely vocation. Others, even those closest to you, may not support you, and may openly and harshly disagree with your choice. They may watch you and your children like a hawk, waiting for evidence that you are not doing a good job, that your child is not learning what he should. The first thing to remember is that God is always with you. The second thing is that you only have one day at a time. Just do what needs to be done that day. Don't compare your children to others, as long as they are making progress and are happy little people. Each child learns in his own way, at his own pace, in his own time. It may be many months or many years before the positive results of your efforts will be manifest to others. Be aware that some may never validate your choice, or admit that you did the right thing. Even when 5 kids in Chardon, Ohio are shot by a fellow student and 3 of them die, people will insist that school is where your kids should be.

Ultimately, you are not likely going to be called to stand before the pope and tell him what to do. But you will be required to stand before Jesus and answer for your choices. His mother, Mary, told the servants at the wedding in Cana, "Do whatever he tells you." Did you listen when Jesus called you to your vocation? That should be your only consideration.
 

Sewing with Grandma

Homeschooled children are very resourceful. They are full of Ideas. Big Ideas. Beezy had been wanting to learn to sew for quite some time. Last week she found a turquoise, glitter dot fabric remnant left over from a belly dance costume piece and decided she wanted to make a dress for her Rapunzel doll. I told her that if she really wanted to learn to sew, someone who knows how to sew should teach her! So I called my grandmother, whose skills are of a master seamstress level.

When I was a belly dance student in Columbus, we made patterns for a practice skirt with newspaper. Since Grandma suggested practicing with an old piece of fabric first, but I couldn't find any rags that would work, I gave her the newspaper idea. This was my only contribution. Well, I also brought her other Barbie dresses for ideas, and Beezy chose a general style from those.

Grandma decided to do the skirt and top parts of the dress separately, so she traced the bottom part of the gown on newspaper and cut the pattern. The original dress was all one piece with a single seam, so that was how she designed the new skirt. She cut the glitter dot fabric around the pattern, turned it inside out, and pinned it in place. Since I had no pins, she used needles. Then she basted it. I would never have thought to do this! I probably would not have thought to pin it either. This is why I hired a professional!

The needle was threaded, doubled, and the ends were knotted together. I then had the pleasure of watching my grandma patiently teach Beezy to sew! "Little stitches, little stitches," she repeated. She did not insist on perfection but guided her grandaughter to reasonably good results. Beatrix's look of pride and joy when she finished was priceless! Grandma decided she needed to take the doll and fabric home to figure out how to design the top part. She said that she hadn't made doll clothes in many years, and it is not an easy thing to do. So how awesome is that! On another day she will bring it back over for Beezy to finish.

A day or two later Beezy fixed a big hole in one of her stuffed animals. (She had been asking me to do it for months!) All I had to do was thread the needle, knot the ends, and place a pin to hold it together, and she managed very well to take care of that problem herself! This is the beauty of homeschooling. Teachers are everywhere; you don't have to do it alone. And most importantly, my daughter has another beautiful memory with her great-grandma to treasure forever.

Manna for the Temple: Have a Cup of Tea!

Today is the third day of Lent, which means it is my third day without coffee. Boy am I tired! I gave up coffee because I don't like how it makes me feel. It is certainly not personality enhancing! For awhile I even drank espresso with soy milk, which made me instantly hyped up and impatient. But it tasted so good, and it cleared my morning cobwebs quickly. However, praying for patience in my homeschooling efforts and then drinking espresso kind of defeats the purpose, and in addition to serious jitters, my stomach never felt good.

Facebook friends warned me that I would get a headache, but as it turns out, I was going to have one anyway, since the beginning of Lent coincided with my monthly visit from Heavy Aunt Flo. I had at least given up the espresso and was drinking plain old coffee, so the withdrawal wouldn't be so bad.  Besides, Lent is a time for going into the desert for 40 days with Jesus, so a headache is only a little thing from that perspective. It isn't supposed to be easy; one is supposed to sacrifice something. And hurray for me, because I don't have to give up meat on Fridays--I'm already vegetarian!

My goal is to treat my body better, as a temple of the Holy Spirit. While I wasn't excessive in my coffee drinking, it did cause me physical discomfort, and I want to have energy in a more natural way. I want to feel good! (I also want to give up 10 pounds for Lent, which means healthier eating and more exercise.) Still, I want a hot drink in the morning, even in the summer. So with what have I replaced the coffee? I'm going to give a review here of three types of tea that can all be purchased at vitacost.com, which has less expensive prices than you will find in health food stores. Vitacost is a great place to find all kinds of natural and organic products, including vitamins, shampoo, skin care, toothpaste, beauty products, and food.

Organic Ginger tea, from Traditional Medicinals, promotes healthy digestion and is caffeine free. Ginger is also good for respiratory health. It has a strong flavor and is naturally invigorating, so it will pick you up and soothe your stomach, with no jitters. Ginger tea works great for morning sickness, too!

Yerba Mate Royale, from Wisdom of the Ancients, is sweetened with stevia, which is an herb and a healthier alternative to sugar. Yerba mate tea is classified as a nutritional supplement, energizing you with 196 active compounds including vitamins, minerals, and more antioxidants than green tea. This is good, because I can't stand green tea. Yerba mate has less caffeine than coffee or black tea and does not cause the nerve rattling effects. On the box it says, "Licorice Pepper (Piper fulvescens) is the English name we have given this rare rainforest herb." Isn't that lovely? This one is also organic.

Women's Energy tea, by Yogi, helps balance hormones. This is a dong quai tonic, a root extract also known as "women's ginseng." This organic tea also contains juniper berry, cinnamon bark, orange peel, ginger root, fennel seed, chamomile, dandelion, anise, stinging nettle, orange oil, stevia and black pepper. This is a great tasting tonic for any time, even when you are not being visited by Mean Aunt Ruby!

If you already drink tea, now you have some new varieties to enjoy.  I encourage you to try these teas for energy and healing, and for a few quiet minutes to relax and savor a hot drink to pamper yourself. Make it a sacred time to fill the well, that will invigorate you to get up and going again. Whether in a dainty China cup or a handmade pottery mug, have yourself a cup of tea!