A Mother's Rule of Life

I am currently reading Holly Pierlot's A Mother's Rule of Life.  The premise of the book is taking the concept of a religious rule, such as nuns practice, and applying it to the vocation of a woman as wife and mother.  I love the idea of what I do as a vocation, which I have written about before.  Holly writes about being a Catholic homeschooling mother of five and how she brought order, and therefore peace, to her daily round.  She goes beyond developing a schedule to live by and extends the structure of her days into a deeper spiritual purpose.  Though she is not a fan of unschooling, I think that since I am on my own path to bringing greater meaning to the life of myself and my family, Holly's ideas will be a blessing.  I am already inspired to begin spring cleaning (including my email inbox)! The groundhog did promise an early spring, after all.

I want my days to flow within the framework of a flexible schedule.  Since I only have one child, I don't feel that I need every block of time sectioned out like Holly's. Once housework is caught up on and a system is in place to keep things in order, I can begin the bigger tasks of cleaning out closets and working on home projects. I know, we have visited this territory before, have we not? Yes, and we will need to come back to it twice a year, every spring and fall. We need to regularly re-evaluate what is working well, what isn't, and how to create the change we desire.

I spoke at length to my husband about unschooling, and he finally watched Astra Taylor's youtube video. We are on the same page about not wanting to be "radical" unschoolers. He pointed out that I have basically already been unschooling to a certain extent and thinks I should continue with Montessori and Charlotte Mason as a basis for the more formal lesson times. Because of some of the unschooling practices that we don't want to be associated with, such as letting children make all their own decisions, not only about what they will learn and when, but in every other area of life, he is hesitant to say that what we do is unschooling. I certainly agree that many people, especially in the homeschooling community, have very negative impressions about unschooling, and I don't want to misrepresent what we do. But I think that putting a qualifier in front of it, such as the word Catholic, would help correct any misapprehension.

By definition, Catholic unschooling requires that parents are actively involved in the faith formation of their children and in instilling good habits, morals, self-discipline, and responsibility. Children cannot be left to "self-regulate" or be allowed limitless access to TV, the computer, video games, technology, etc... I suppose there may be some Catholic unschoolers who give their children too much freedom in this way, but in that case they are not fulfilling the duties of their parental vocation and so are really practicing a secular version of unschooling.

On the other side of the coin, Montessori, Charlotte Mason, and John Holt all, in their own way, agree that the teacher/parent should not overly interfere in the learning of children, that much learning should be auto-educative, and that children should have a great deal of freedom in choosing those activities which most interest them. The adult can do some direct teaching but focuses mainly on facilitating the child's learning, whether that means answering questions, having conversations, locating the necessary resources, going places in the community, setting up lessons, or teaching specific skills when asked.

The Catholic Church's Mass schedule and the liturgical year provide a seasonal framework for ordering one's days, so Catholic unschooling will have a basic, intrinsic structure in this regard. Especially once Beezy and I are both taking Holy Communion, I want to add Wednesday morning Mass in addition to the usual Sunday morning (or Saturday evening). Praying the Rosary together and reading the associated Bible mysteries (stories) will be part of our curriculum. Doing copy work of Rosary and other prayers, as well as hymns and songs from Mass, and memorization of daily liturgical Bible readings will provide some of the practice of copy work and recitation. Right now Beezy has piano lessons on Mondays and religious education classes at church on Wednesday evenings, as well as regular play dates, so those activities also provide structure.

In general, I will apply the Montessori method to our Catholic unschooling by way of following the child and giving choices; role modeling desired behaviors and attitudes; encouraging practical life skills; a carefully prepared home environment that facilitates self-teaching and exploration of ideas; and close observation of the child to see who she is as a person, how best she learns, and what she is most interested in doing. From Charlotte Mason we will continue with living books and narration, keeping a nature journal, hand crafts, and spending time in the natural world and gardening. Since workbooks for math and phonics work well for us, we'll continue to use them, and we will take full advantage of library and online resources. I think this will all come together organically in a balanced system of learning and living in natural ways.

Unschooling: All Kinds of Cool Crafts

I asked my daughter what she would really like to do for "school", and her answer was, "all kinds of cool crafts." What qualifies as a cool craft, you might ask? Making Monster High doll clothes, it turns out. Now, crafts are really low on my own, personal list of things I want to try to teach. That is why I love our Parks and Recreation department; they offer phenomenal opportunities for craft making guided by adults who are not me. Crafts often involve a kit with instructions that are difficult to follow, even if labeled at the 6- or 7-year-old level. Do not be fooled by the supposed simplicity of the package!

But I decided to try unschooling, focusing on my child's interests, letting her direct her own education at least partially. Yesterday Beezy read to me from her Ginn reader, which she enjoyed, and determined for herself how many pages she wanted to read. I gave her a math worksheet to do which required writing number words. She then told me she wanted to do more writing, so in the spirit of following the child, I gave her a Starfall reading and writing journal page in which she had to complete sentences using adjectives to fill in the blanks. As she has done before, rather than using only the words given in the word bank, she chose her own describing words and asked for help in spelling them. Next she practiced piano for 12 minutes (her decision when to be finished).

We had a flat tire and had to get it replaced, so part of our field trip in going to the next town to the car shop was to search for the necessary materials to make the doll clothes using toilet paper and duct tape. I found tutorials on youtube, which better works with my own learning style than written instructions with two-dimensional diagrams. The brand Duck Tape, found at Wal-Mart, had awesome patterned choices. You can find similar tape at Dollar General. In the evening Beezy's dad and I both read to her. And Beezy wrote out instructions for how we were going to do our craft projects after breakfast the next day.

So today we worked more on the toilet paper dress started a couple of days ago, which we will shortly finish, and we made a skirt and top with the duct tape. Only a little stressful for a craft-averse mother, and mostly a fun activity for us both! This is the type of thing that creates warm memories between parent and child, and it is an organic way of learning and practicing many skills (measurement, cutting, painting, using glue, folding, designing, following directions, etc...) that is simply living, doing what needs to be done to achieve the desired result, and being lost in the present moment.

Easing into the Little Way of Unschooling

I am currently reading Homeschooling with Gentleness: A Catholic Discovers Unschooling by Suzie Andres. I am mostly convinced that Catholics can, in good conscience, unschool. But doing this is harder said than done. Our lesson time started out well today. Beezy finished a chapter in her Ginn reader and enjoyed the story. Then she completed her Hail Mary copy work just fine. I read the end of a novel to her, The Girl Who Circumnavigated Fairyland in a Ship of Her Own Making, which by the way was quite good. I took a shower and got myself together while Beezy worked on her room, straightening up her things throughout the house, and putting stuff where it belongs.

Beezy did a math workbook page. Then came her piano theory homework, and I started to get impatient trying to keep her on task. Her teacher recommends only 15 minutes of practice a day, and I didn't want to run over, so I felt pressured (by myself, really) to hurry her along. We ended up spending 20 minutes on it. Is this really an issue? Why not just do the work until it seems that she is ready to be done, whether that takes 10 minutes or half an hour? I forgot to follow the child. Sorry, Maria Montessori!

While we were doing the piano homework, my husband came along and said a library book could not be renewed, so then I felt pressured to get the book read and narrated, even though what I said to him is that we did not have to rush to get it back. We have teacher library cards, which means that we don't accumulate fines on overdue books. Surely the person requesting, Don't Ride the Bus on Monday could wait a day or two? But against my own wisdom, I read this wonderful Rosa Parks story and enjoyed it less than I might have if I had picked it up when I felt more relaxed. Beezy would most likely have enjoyed it better too. She was noticeably fidgety at this time, so I sent her out to walk the dog in the middle of the book. When it was finished, she gave a creative narration that reminded me of a "spoken word" poem. She got a little carried away at the end, but I resisted my urge to tell her not to be so silly during her narration. I also did not use my plan book or check anything off. So plus points given for Mommio, and other points taken away! I know, progress, not perfection.

Collage Style Catholic Unschooling

We did get to lesson time today, after Beezy's homeschool friend left. She read three pages aloud to me from her Ginn reader, On Cherry Street. I usually have her read at least two pages, and this evening she wanted to read a third. I read a chapter to her from Little Town on the Prairie, which she narrated Charlotte Mason style. Then she did copy work from the Hail Mary prayer. Her dad came home in the midst of this bearing a new Monster High doll, so lesson time ended, and we had dinner.

Considering again Holly Pierlot's objections to Catholic homeschoolers adopting the use of the term unschooling, I think her point about John Holt's educational theories being secular and perhaps opposed to the Catholic parental vocation are valid. However, I will need to revisit his writings in more depth, because I'm not certain that what he advocated was anti-teaching. Certainly he was against a coercive, one size fits all, institutionalized schooling situation. But from what I have read from Catholic unschoolers, they are able to take the ideas of John Holt and apply them from within the domestic church.

The open source style of learning can incorporate faith formation; lessons of the child's choosing, such as piano or dance; apprenticeships; any curriculum that is useful and fits the child's needs; chores and family responsibilities; varying degrees of structure, etc... The direct teaching of skills such as reading is not frowned upon if children do not pick them up naturally, nor is formal work required by the parents forbidden. A common theme is that there is no timetable for when to learn any particular thing, and there is no rigid establishment of what is important for all children to learn. Learning is individualized, largely driven by a child's interests and each family's values.

In addition to John Holt, the names that most commonly come up on the path to unschooling are Maria Montessori and Charlotte Mason. Classical Catholic education is also often utilized in an unschooling approach. The key seems to be that parents and children are not slaves to a commercial curriculum and the daily checking off of items completed. Segue style learning, which I have written about before, is an approach of following an organic process of making connections between ideas, experiences and subject matter--the science of relations about which Charlotte Mason wrote. Learning is not compartmentalized from the rest of life. By "collage style" I mean that you take what you like from any number of sources and use whatever fits your family best, producing a customized education for each child that promotes faith, self-discipline, useful life skills, and an authentic human character.

In future posts I will flesh this collage style of Catholic unschooling out, giving ideas for a basic format and implementation of such a prospect. I will also incorporate the teachings of Therese of Lisieux and John Bosco, who are called upon as patron saints for Catholic unschoolers, as well as the writings of other notables of the faith such as Pope John Paul II.

St. Therese

On Synchronicity and Unschooling

"There are no coincidences." This is what a homeschooling friend of mine said when I was trying to figure out how I suddenly became interested in unschooling and how I randomly came across Astra Taylor's youtube video. Today that friend's daughter showed up unexpectedly at my house. I might have expected her, since Tuesdays are our set day to have her come over in the afternoons, and my intention has been to teach her and Beezy belly dancing. We have indeed done a couple of lessons. But last week this friend was sick, and I have been in pain from throwing my back out and did not plan to teach the girls belly dance today.

I did plan to get back to Beezy's homeschooling studies, but once again some other plan seems to be at work, a certain heavenly Providence. I do think that she thrives on a certain degree of structure. A common refrain from her is, "Now what?" Sometimes I will suggest things for her to do, while other times I tell her to figure it out for herself. It seems that when our formal "school" time is done, she is just killing time until the public schooled kids get home and she can find someone to play with. This is one of the reasons unschooling appeals to me. While a certain amount of structure is beneficial, I want lesson times to be less compartmentalized from the rest of life. Some days there will not be anyone available to play with. At times I have to do things such as prepare meals, so I can't play with her. If her dad is at work or otherwise unavailable and there are no playmates on hand, Beezy needs to alleviate her own boredom. She needs to learn to be content in solitude, or to have some days that are just for our family to be together. We don't always have to be going somewhere or doing something. Even for a home educated child who does not have the distraction of television or homework to do and a limited number video games to play, our modern society still somehow delivers the message that we cannot, under any circumstances,  just be.

Yesterday school was closed for President's Day, and Beezy was invited to play at the home of a family friend. Today, as I mentioned, her homeschooling friend came over without my actively planning it, so once again we are not doing school, though we certainly could later on. My back injury has mysteriously coincided with the children having several days in a row off school and a bounty of time to spend with friends and cousins. I have been able to read and reflect about unschooling, to write and to dream. It seems to be a clear case of synchronicity, of God nudging me in a certain direction seemingly out of the blue and then giving me all of this time to sort it out. Divine Wisdom is allowing me to be physically unable to do much else but to pray, read, meditate, and journal. What a gift! I dare not ignore the message. Things are exactly as they are meant to be, in this moment, in this time. How different life would be to always live in God's time, seeking and following his will. I feel like I'm on the verge of the freedom and authenticity I have sought for years. But I know I can't make it all happen in one day, one week, one month, or one year. I have definitely turned a corner though, and I must trust that the Promised Land awaits!

Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. (Matt. 6:33)

Home (Un?) Schooling, Relaxed Catholic Charlotte Mason Style

"Relaxed Catholic Charlotte Mason" is a rather wordy way to explain my homeschooling style, but it will have to do right now, while I am in a phase of re-evaluating, re-defining, and setting a new course. I know what Romeo (or was it Juliet?) said about a rose by any other name smelling as sweet, but in the end it really did matter that he was a Montague and she a Capulet.

Charlotte Mason was Christian, but I don't know if she was specifically Catholic. At any rate, it is clear that she and Maria Montessori, who was Catholic, have influenced my philosophy and practices of education heavily, and for me, the Catholic part of Beezy's education must come first. Faith was at the heart of helping children to learn and grow in every area of life for these two lovely ladies. So whether or not I will definitely use the term "unschooling", I will most certainly be teaching my child in the way she should go.

"Jesus saith unto her, Woman, why weepest thou? whom seekest thou? She, supposing him to be the gardener, saith unto him, Sir, if thou have borne him hence, tell me where thou hast laid him, and I will take him away. Jesus saith unto her, Mary. She turned herself, and saith unto him, Rabboni! which is to say, Master. Jesus saith unto her, Touch me not; for I am not yet ascended to my Father: but go to my brethren, and say unto them, I ascend unto my Father, and your Father; and to my God, and your God."  
( John 20:15-17 )
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Mary Magdalene calls Jesus "Rabonni", the Jewish word meaning My Great Teacher or Master, the title of highest honor. Jesus was (and still is) the greatest teacher of all time, and all Christians are to emulate him. The Bible is full of exhortations to parents to teach their children well, not to allow them to "self-regulate" willy-nilly.  That being said, Jesus did not proscribe to the practices of the traditional teachers of his day. The man was radical. He danced to the beat of God's drum, and God's drum alone. He wanted the children to come to him and said that we must be like children to enter the kingdom of heaven. Children full of awe, wonder, humility, curiosity, innocence, exuberance, and faith. The public schools by and large crush these qualities in children. I fear that in the effort to disassociate from the traditional schools and their methods (which actually aren't the truly traditional ways of America), some homeschoolers have rejected teaching as well as schooling. They have thrown the baby out with the bathwater.


If I decide to be an unschooler, I will mean it in the sense of de-institutionalizing my homeschooling. In fact, the word "homeschooling" doesn't really make sense at all, as the home is a domestic church, not a school by way of the most common definitions. Unschooling better reflects the reality of home-based education, or at least it should.  I will continue to explore and define what unschooling means to me. But one thing is for sure: if I do declare that Catholic unschooling is my style of home education, teacher will not be a dirty word. If it's good enough for my Lord, it's good enough for me.

Catholicism in Regard to Unschooling

John Holt's books, such as How Children Fail and How Children Learn, were among the first books I read in consideration of the idea of homeschooling, and these writings were certainly inspiring. It did, however, cross my mind that because he was never a parent, Holt's qualifications in regard to speaking on home education were limited by virtue of that fact. Parents' responsibilities to their children were not something he could really know on a personal level. Also, I don't remember any indication that he was a man of faith or that he considered that religious parents would have a responsibility to raise children in their faith; that is, to teach children in the realm of religion.

The Catholic Church makes it clear that failing to actively teach children is not an option, and I am Catholic, so there are certain things that I am obligated to teach my child. I imagine that other Christians and people of faith believe the same way. This is the problem with Catholics using the term unschooling that Holly Pierlot brings up in her blog, "A Mother's Rule of Life". She acknowledges that what Catholic "unschoolers" usually mean by unschooling is de-institutionalizing home education, but that what John Holt really means is anti-teaching. (See the initial question and comments at http://www.mothersruleoflife.com/2011/05/unschooling-catholic-education.html.)  Holly explains,

"There is a distinction between John Holt's unschooling and what Catholic families are doing to de-institutionalize their homeschools. I fear that if the term 'unschooling' is used throughout the Catholic books, and given what I know unschooling 'really is', I'd have to fight my strong reactions again...

To me, the Catholic home educator's use of Holt's term is really unfortunate, because the bottom line is Holt means anti-teaching, not anti-schools, and I really really wish Catholics would not use the term... but I guess that is wishful thinking now that it's becoming 'popular'.

Let's put it this way - if any family sets out to 'teach' via books, or instruction or stories or witness or words or lived experiences etc etc (meaning, that the 'method' one uses is geared to the unique needs and talents of the parents and the children and is not tied to traditional text/instruction methods), then this has its benefits. I imagine this is the way 'unschooling' - meaning de-institutionalized methods - is being intended by Catholic families.

However, if one decides to adopt 'unschooling' in the sense Holt uses it- that the parent really doesn't interfere with the child's process- then it's really totally unacceptable to the mission of Catholic parental education. In fact, it contradicts the parental vocation.

Keep this distinction in mind, and it might help clarify which resources to read. But watch out when reading secular unschooling resources, because they probably mean the latter, not the former, definition."

That throws another wrench into the whole thing, now doesn't it?  At the same time, I am so grateful to the Church, as usual, that she clarifies the Truth for me, that there is a higher authority than my own thoughts, opinions, inclinations, etc... There is the authority given by Jesus to his Church, which is guided by the Holy Spirit, and I can rely on that as my touchstone for everything else in life, for every decision of every single day. Perhaps "relaxed Catholic home-based learning" or "Charlotte Mason Catholic home education" would better serve my purposes than using the secular term, unschooling. How we name things is important, because concepts, methods, and belief systems lie behind the name, but in practice it is also pivotal to create a particular atmosphere and attitude toward education that does not separate learning from the rest of life. Life is learning and learning is life, regardless of exactly what style I choose to call my homeschooling. Style without substance is shallow, and every child deserves a deep, meaningful education for life.