The Literary Life | Big Tech Purge a Blessing in Disguise?

 

Having begun the discussion on one of my three blog themes for 2021, the preservation of liberty, I will now introduce the second, the literary life. When I originally determined my themes, I didn't recognize a connection between these two concepts; but now their close relation strikes me as startling. Perhaps I can open the conversation of the literary life by sharing my own experience in a world before the dominance of the internet and social media on people's lives. 

The majority of folks now seem to live their lives directly on social media and do not know how to function otherwise. It's a true addiction. But earlier this week I deleted my Facebook accounts, and it really didn't hurt! Because of what this "platform," which is really a publisher, recently pulled, in cahoots with other Big Tech companies, I could rise above the personal and leave on principle, an ability that I can attribute to having once lived a literary life. 

As an English major in college, I learned that literature teaches us about life and the human condition, and that by reading high quality works that have stood the test of time, we can gain wisdom and understanding. Additionally, by analysing the ideas found in great works of literature, philosophy, and religion, then developing a thesis and arguing our point in writing based upon the text, we grow in our critical thinking skills. 

Today the focus is on information, and the power to control it, and this information largely comes in the form of video. I enjoy watching YouTube videos myself, and I spend much more time on those channels than I do reading blogs online or consuming print books. Even when people do read books, it's often on a hand-held device, so an inordinate amount of time is spent in front of screens. People work on computers, check their social media constantly, sit for long hours in front of the television, and have very little time left for more traditionally human pursuits. 

When I lived alone for most of my 20s in the 1990s, I had the bare minimum of technology available at the time. My computer came from an office that had replaced their system. All it did was spreadsheets, which I didn't use, and word processing. I typed my poems on it, saved them, and printed them out. That's all I used it for. To access my hotmail account, I had to walk down the street to the coffee shop and sign up for time on the shared computer. There were maybe two people that I emailed. I bought a cell phone, which only made and received calls, and I used it predominantly in the car. I don't remember if it even had texting. None of my jobs involved computer work, except for being a library clerk, and that was in a situation of interacting directly with people. Every job I had required that I work in direct service of others, in person and face-to-face. 

In my free time I took a lot of walks, watched a little TV on the 3 or 4 channels that my 13-inch television was able to receive, went to see movies, plays, and art exhibits, wrote poetry and went to poetry readings, hung out at bookstores and coffee shops, spent time with friends, and regularly went out dancing. Oh, and I read a ton and wrote daily in my journal. I took classes to learn things like calligraphy and writing for children, in person, and then became a student of belly dance after I was married in 2002. I was a well-rounded woman with a variety of interests and was comfortable both in social situations and by myself. 

As a mother, I homeschooled my child in the Charlotte Mason method, which is based in classic literature and nature study in the field. Lots of time with living books, engaging mind-to-mind with the ideas found in them, and as many hours as possible spent outdoors were emphasized in Miss Mason's philosophy. So there is always a cognitive dissonance experienced when people assume that we homeschool online. My daughter, now 16, uses an online math program and some other online resources, but the bulk of her learning comes straight from actual books. 

Unfortunately, I have in great part lost the comforts and benefits of the literary life I once so much enjoyed, and I spend a great deal too much time on my Kindle. I can only imagine the self-imposed isolation of life on a smart phone!

Our path to preserving liberty is not ultimately going to be found in big government, public schools, Big Tech, or mainstream media. It's going to be found in libraries, homeschooling, private schools, churches, and local governments and communities. It has to start in the home first and foremost, and with the cultivation of our own minds and the development of character and virtue in the classic sense. It has to do with the re-education of our senses to wake us up to the real world around us and the redirecing of our hearts to the True, the Good, and the Beautiful. We have to get back to Nature, to self-reliance, to in-person interactions, and to a literary life. 

Perhaps we will find that the Big Tech purge of conservative voices will be a blessing in disguise. If more and more of us find the courage to leave the likes of Facebook and Twitter, and to cut our dependence on social media even when we find good alternatives; and we reinvigorate ourselves physically, intellectually, creatively, emotionally, and spiritually in the ways human beings have done for thousands of years, we will have the edge when we we need it most. And that time is fast approaching. 

In upcoming posts, we will continue to explore the connections between the preservation of liberty and the literary life, and how this all finds its foundation in the domestic monastery. 

Habits and Character | A Return to Charlotte Mason

Every year, waiting until at least mid-May, when the danger of frost has passed, I plant a variety of container flowers, and this year I also planted a few herbs to use for cooking. My husband plants a small vegetable garden. I care for the flowers, and he for the vegetables. He has had to be out of state on a number of occasions this year, to care for his deceased father's estate. While he was gone, our daughter watered the garden. Once he returned, I assumed he would resume care of the vegetable patch. By the time I realized that wasn't happening, it was nearly too late. 

Tall grass grew in every square inch available, green beans turned brown, and it became impossible to see the wanted plants for the weeds. The garden looks like grief, but it isn't bereft of hope. We've had some small but delicious tomatoes, a handful of beans, and plenty of lettuce. The kale and Brussels sprout leaves have been the food of some pest or other, but it may not be too late to salvage those plants.

When something is a habit, a good habit, it makes our lives easier. We have to make fewer decisions when our behaviors are automatic. It's much simpler to keep a garden watered and to remove weeds on a regular basis, while they are still small and haven't taken over, than to do damage control late in the game. 

English educator and homeschooling pioneer Charlotte Mason wrote a lot about the connection between habit training and personal character. The importance of encouraging good habits in children cannot be overstated; but it seems nearly impossible to do this if the adults responsible for them have poor habits themselves. 

Clutter and neglect, whether in a garden or a home, is a sign of disorder--be it clutter of the mind, heart, or spirit. Where I live, school begins Aug. 19, in less than three weeks.  Since we will be homeschooling again, we don't have to start that early. But as many of my daughter's friends will be less available once school resumes, we will likely get our studies under way on the 24th. 

It takes 21 to 28 days to form a habit, so now is the perfect time to evaluate where things are working, and where we need to fine-tune our routines. What our your priorities for the coming school year? What do you want to do differently, to bring greater order, beauty, and harmony to your days? I'm going to take some time over this weekend to draft a plan, to get things like sleep schedules and meals under control, and to organize our homeschool. If there are books and other materials that are needed, it's time to order them, as mail deliveries have been inconsistent.

I've gone back and forth over the years regarding Charlotte Mason, at times being thoroughly enthusiastic about her philosophy and method, at other times finding her ways to be too overwhelming; and/or I've questioned her appropriateness for a Catholic education. But this summer I have felt led to return to her once again, to mine the treasures of her writings, and to seek the joy and creativity that underpin her educational approach. Most of all, I want to spend much more time in nature. 

The Quiet Revolution of Women | True Power

A revolution can be quiet. While the mob rules the streets, women can be home, quietly nursing babies. The hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world. While children are being indoctrinated in Leftist government schools, where history is erased, women can homeschool their own and teach them in the Way they should go. While women of folly screech their abortions and emasculate men,  women of grace love their husbands and children, and quietly fill their quiver.

Women are the keepers--the guardians--of the home, and we are keepers of Beauty. While death and destruction seem to be ruling the day and America appears to be sinking in quicksand, there is an underground revolution that has already formed deep roots in the soil. And it is increasing. Many women were mandated to stay at home, and many men too, during the coronavirus lockdowns. If you can, stay there. Do not go back into the brutal world. This crisis was a blessing in disguise.

A woman's gift is holy Silence. That a woman should be silent is not that a woman should not speak. Rather, "She hath opened her mouth to wisdom, and the law of clemency is on her tongue" (Prov. 31: 26, DRV).  A woman's silence is in the repose of her soul. Because her words are honorable, she is honored, and she is heard by those with ears to hear.

Do not believe, dear women of God, that you are powerless. Follow His will, and your arms will be strong to do His work. Mold yourselves in the image of Our Lady, who is the perfect feminine image of the Lord, and you will be praised in the gates. And the enemy will fall. And the darkness shall not overcome us.

COVID-19 Survival at Home | FlyLady's Top Three

Well, here we are living the new normal, which literally changes every day. My great state of Ohio seems to be leading the way through this novel coronavirus pandemic, a.k.a, COVID-19. As Ohio goes, so goes the rest of the country, and this is true in many ways, not just in regard to political elections. A part of me, the me on days when the sun doesn't shine, had been thinking that no one wants a Pollyanna pep talk right now. And I agree with myself to some degree even when the sun is shining. But being a lifelong Ohioan, let's just assume that I have something of help to offer, the type of good common sense that this state is renowned for. 

What we need right now are basic survival tools, because lots of folks not used to working at home, or not working at all, and/or dealing with their kids doing school-at-home--quite possibly for the rest of the school year--are already feeling like they just can't. But the hard, cold truth is that we must, so suck it up, buttercup!

I had mastered the FlyLady Baby Steps that I wrote about previously, and nailed my daily routines. But I realized that I busted my behind all day just to get those things done, leaving no time for anything else. I hadn't even gotten to weekly cleaning schedules and the like. I felt satisfied that I had accomplished a great deal and had the tools on hand when I needed them, so I could just let up on checking off boxes and only do FlyLady when I wanted to. But it's very clear to me at this point that things are going to get very ugly very fast if I don't get back on the wagon. Time to sober up, sisters! 

I was right in that I still had too many items on my morning, afternoon, and evening routines, even after paring them all down. I am used to working from home and homeschooling. But things have gotten extreme and will get worse before they get better, so I'm taking a cue from the 12-Step programs and doing First Things First. I'm starting again with FlyLady's Top Three: 

1) Put out tomorrow's outfit tonight. Iron anything that needs it, and choose the entire ensemble, down to underwear, socks, and jewelry.

2) After dinner each night, get the dishes out of the sink and shine it. (Lots of videos and other online sources can explain to you about shining your sink.)

3) In the morning, get dressed to shoes. Your outfit is already ready! Do something with your hair and put on a little makeup, if you usually wear it.

Just start with that this week. We do not want to let ourselves go, staying in our bathrobes until 2:00 in the afternoon, thinking who cares, no one will see us. We will see us. Our families will see us. And we will feel like serious crap. Look presentable, and you will have more energy and get more done. It's all psychological, yes, but you will be more productive wearing a bra. You will be happier if you keep up with your dishes. It doesn't matter why this is true. Truth is Truth. 

I gave up Facebook for Lent, but I'm going to post my blog, because I think it's important. However, I will not be having conversations there. I will not be receiving any email notifications. I just want to be of service in my own small way. So comment here at the blog if you want to dialogue! We can do this. We have to. 

Home Efficiency, Part 1

I'm so excited to finally share my latest youtube video! I was snapped out of the summer malaise I had been in after watching Jennifer L. Scott's video on her best efficiency tips over at The Daily Connoisseur. This is my take on a couple of them. Unfortunately my husband came home unexpectedly and I had to cut it short, so I will be doing a follow-up soon. 

This discussion includes the tips to "wake up before your family" and "embrace schedules and routines." With school starting next week, it's not a moment too soon to get myself in gear. What strikes me most is that by establishing an organized pattern for her days and not wasting time, Jennifer has created a life that she truly loves. Watch Jennifer's video to get the low down on all seven of her best tips on how to be efficient at home! 
https://dailyconnoisseur.blogspot.com/2018/07/how-to-be-efficient-my-best-tips.html

I'd love followers to share what efficiency tips work best for you. Are you trying anything new? It's time to break out of our comfort zones and become the women that God created us to be!

No Baggage Book Review, Hygge, & a Day at the Beach

I just finished reading No Baggage: A Minimalist Tale of Love & Wandering by Clara Bensen, a travel memoir I eagerly devoured in three days. I found it when I did a library search on the topic of minimalism. Clara is a 25-year-old who met Jeff, an older university professor, through an online dating group. A magical connection ensued, and a month after their meeting, Clara joined Jeff for a 21-day, overseas tour beginning with Istanbul and finishing in London. The catch: no baggage, no reservations. Jeff carried everything in his pockets, and Clara brought a small purse. They wore the same clothing for the entire trip.

I was immediately intrigued upon learning that Clara came from a loving, evangelical Christian home and was homeschooled. Her uncommonly good writing skills and obvious intelligence and wit were encouraging. She seemed to have no misgivings about being homeschooled, and she had a close relationship with her parents. Yet through the experience of college life she lost her moral compass. Upon facing the harsh realities of the 2008 housing market crash following her graduation, she spiraled down a two-year rabbit hole of mental illness.

Her prose is laced with profanity and stories of sex outside of marriage. I could relate to much of her twenty-something experiences, having been negatively influenced by the college culture myself, then becoming very depressed after graduating in late 1991 during a major recession. I too had grown up in a Christian home and lost my way. It's a cautionary tale. It's also an inspiring one.

I spent the day at a state park beach with my family and a friend of Beezy's this past Friday. I finally felt myself sink into summer. The tension I'd been holding in the core of my being melted in the hot sun and floated away in the waves of the lake. I wore a blue, cotton gauze dress I found at Good Will that is so comfortable and pretty I could wear it every day, just like Clara wore the same green frock for three weeks straight. Traveling so light was almost anticlimactic, so easy it turned out to be. I would not want to repeat her "couch surfing" experience, not knowing where she and Jeff were going to sleep from night to night. But I could imagine just a carpet bag of my possessions and maybe a house swapping situation, where I could cook and have a home base. And then make day trips to other destinations, rather than sitting on buses and trains for 24 hours at a time and hitchhiking.

So back to the beach. I've also been reading a few library books about hygge, the Danish concept of a certain experience of quiet happiness and comfort. Hygge, pronounced hoo-ga, is about simple pleasures, companionship, hominess and coziness, a strong connection to nature, and a feeling of deep peace and well-being. It's one of those ideas that's foreign to us Americans and difficult to define. But when I was sitting there on the beach, completely being in the present moment, with no shred of anxiety or irritation, enjoying the company of the people I was with, and even the strangers, I got it. This is hygge. 

Having found my summer groove not until the 2nd half of July, I am seriously considering not starting our homeschooling back up until after Labor Day. I know, so radical! Such a risk! But it has only been in the past couple of decades that the beginning of school got pushed earlier and earlier, till the kids are now slumping to the bus stop with their back packs in the middle of August. I have an appointment with a pain specialist for a consultation about my lower back, hoping that an epidural steroid injection might enable me to sit for long periods in a car again. I have a dream of traveling with my family in a RV and spending copious amounts of time in woods and meadows and by lakes and streams. Lots of people "road school"! Why not leave town at the precise moment that everyone else goes back to the grind? Even if we don't embark on an epic journey, we can do the day-tripping thing from our own home base. And we can keep on lightening our load of possessions and worries.

In addition to my blue thrift store dress, I also picked up a plum purple, Old Navy tank top. Purple was not a color in the stores this year, and the top was an item I desperately needed. I was thrilled to find two pieces of clothing that I absolutely love, in excellent used condition, for a total of $10. This is how I want to dress myself always, only in those items that bring me joy to put on. It's difficult to find clothing that one would put in the "love" category, so it logically follows that one's wardrobe would have to be minimalist.

The moral of the story is that there is hope for the fallen Clara, who most likely by her mother's ardent prayers (and unbeknownst to herself) made her way back to the land of the living. She was brave enough to take a risk on love. Surely she took too many risks, but she trusted her intuition and was willing to experiment with a different way of being in the world. She had the courage to face her demons head on. There is hope for the fallen you and me as well. I heard an adage once that dissolved me in tears, and every so often it whispers in the forefront of my mind:

At the end of your life, these three things matter most--
How much did you love,
how well did you live your life,
and how deeply did you learn to let go...

Giving Up Distractions for Lent (series introduction)

I have decided to give up distractions for Lent. Ash Wednesday is not until the first of March this year, so we have three full weeks before Lent begins. But a productive Lenten observance is more likely if we have thought about it ahead of time and prepared. For example, if you want to give up coffee, it would not be advisable to go cold turkey. You would first want to cut down the amount you drink over a period of time, so you don't suffer massive withdrawal symptoms. I may or may not give up coffee, but if I decide to, giving up distractions would facilitate the process. How?

Well, I have found that distractions rob me of sleep. Worrying distracts me and can cause insomnia, making it difficult to fall asleep, to stay asleep, and/or to go back to sleep when I awaken too early. When I don't get enough sleep, I drink more coffee. Caffeine can contribute to insomnia as well, and in my case it also causes stomach problems. An upset stomach, in turn, can lead to insomnia and is an additional distraction. So you see the cycle. If distractions which cause insomnia are eliminated, then I will sleep better and hence need less coffee, and my stomach will thank me! Ultimately I have to reduce the number of things which cause me to worry, feel stress, and make me lose my focus. Before determining what you will give up for Lent, think about going deeper spiritually and rooting out the underlying reasons for your stumbling blocks. Then formulate your plan.

Today I made a list of my top 5 worst distractions. One of them is physical clutter, which has sub-categories to be tackled one at a time. I consider distractions themselves to be a form of clutter, either mental or emotional. Even if giving up distractions will not specifically be part of your Lenten practices, many of us would have a better quality of life if we worked on pinpointing and reducing those things which worry, aggravate, and deplete us, ultimately preventing us from finding true joy, meaning, and purpose. They keep us focused on the wrong things, and we leave important things undone. We become scattered and lose our serenity. As home educators, there is no way we can effectively teach from rest if we fritter away our time and energy on distractions.

I want to have my project for giving up distractions well under way by the time Ash Wednesday arrives. This was the day to take the first step of making my list, and in fact I am already tackling one of my key distraction areas. If you want to join me, make your list soon and start thinking about how you will accomplish your goals. I will cover each of my items in a series of posts titled, Giving Up Distractions. So stay tuned, and let me know how your process is going!

2016-2017 Catholic Charlotte Mason Curriculum

It's that time of year again! We are wrapping up our school year soon, and I am getting together the necessary paperwork for next year for homeschooling in Ohio. One of the requirements is a brief curriculum outline. I like to have everything done and ready to hand in to the superintendent's office in early June. The only thing I have left is the portfolio assessment of Beezy's work by a certified teacher. I encourage you not to wait to prepare such documents, as you don't want to have this hanging over your head all summer.

I'm more excited about this curriculum than any I have designed in the past, because I think I have finally incorporated all of the elements of a Charlotte Mason education. Except for Religion, the subjects listed are those required to cover by the state. You will notice that many subjects overlap, and a number of these books could have been put into multiple categories. I divided them up as it made most sense to me and according to how I have them organized on our homeschooling bookcase. Except for the books we will borrow from the library, which are happily a great many, I have acquired everything on the lists! Many books can be used for multiple years. I think I spent a total of about $75.00.

In other years I have loaded each subject with a ton of potential books and resources. This time I worked very hard to streamline the curriculum and include only those items that we will realistically use in one school year. We may not get to all of them, and we may include items not listed here. Home education is always a work in progress and a journey of learning for both parents and children, and flexibility is key.

This curriculum is designed for the 6th grade, for my only child. However, many of these choices could be used with multiple age levels, and with either younger or older children. I hope something in this will be of use to readers, and I welcome questions and observations in the comments section at the end! Also, feel free to "borrow" anything here for your own reporting needs.

2016—2017 Homeschool Curriculum Outline

I. Vintage Catholic Home Education: We will be using a self-designed curriculum incorporating the philosophy and method of Charlotte Mason, drawing from the books and resources listed below. "Living books" will be the predominant choices for lessons, which are those written by an author who takes special interest in his subject and in which facts are presented in story form. Classical learning tools such as oral and written narration (composition), copy work, dictation, memory work, and recitation will be utilized, with a core of Religion and the traditional liberal arts.

II. Curriculum Books and Resources:

- The Charlotte Mason Original Homeschooling Series (six volume set)

- Real Learning: Education in the Heart of the Home by Elizabeth Foss
- Mater Amabilis: a Charlotte Mason Style Curriculum for Catholics (www.materamabilis.org)
- Ambleside Online (www.amblesideonline.org)
- The Year and Our Children: Catholic Celebrations for Every Season by Mary Reed Newland

- Seton Home Study School (www.setonhome.org)

- The Holy Bible, 1953 Catholic Confraternity Edition       

- Catholic Heritage Curricula

III. Subjects and Books/Materials:

Language Arts – "Faith and Freedom" Ginn Readers; The Winston Readers; classic literature (Anne of Green Gables series, Little Women, Little Men); Poetry for Children and Other People; Ingri and Edgar Parin d' Aulaire's Book of Greek Myths; Tales from Shakespeare by Charles and Mary Lamb; Bard of Avon and Good Queen Bess (Stanley/Vannema); public library visits and programs; Kids Stuff Spanish (Pirz); Everything Kids’ Learning Spanish Book (Sojo); Spanish flash cards (eeBoo); Language of God (Grammar & Composition, CHC); Handwriting 3 for Young Catholics (Seton); correspondence (letter writing)

Religion – Prayers for Young Catholics (Daughters of St. Paul); Religious Education class at Sacred Heart Church; The Baltimore Catechism, No. 1; The Loyola Treasury of Saints; Journeys with Mary (De Santis); The Guiding Light: The Bible in Pictures; Bible History for Young Catholics (Seton, Old and New Testament volumes); King David and His Songs (Windeatt); Augustine Came to Kent (Willard); St. Thomas Aquinas: The Story of the Dumb Ox (Windeatt)

Geography and History – Fifty Stories from Ohio (Martzolff); America's Founders and Leaders  (William H.J. Kennedy & Sister Mary Joseph); A Child's Geography of the World (Hillyer); Our Catholic Legacy Vol. 1 (world history, Seton); Columbus and the New World (Derluth); Pocahontas (Bruchac); Madeleine Takes Command (Brill); keeping a book of centuries; Native Americans; cultural, seasonal and holiday traditions; visits to Sauder Village living history museum; The National Parks (Tilden); world globe; The Usborne Essential Atlas of the World; States & Capitals flash cards

Mathematics –  Hamilton’s Essentials of Arithmetic (First and Second Books); measurement; fractions; time and money; place values; addition and subtraction with regrouping; multiplication; division; decimals and percentages; related manipulatives; flash cards; calendar; mathematician biographies; board games

Natural Science – Handbook of Nature Study by Anna Botsford Comstock; The Story Book of Science by Jean-Henri Fabre; nature walks and nature notebook; Time-Life animal classification cards; study of trees and leaf collection; study of flowers and flower pressing; study of insects, birds, mammals, reptiles, amphibians and dinosaurs; the seasons; climate; sustainable living and organic gardening; science museum visits; ecosystems/animal habitats; chemistry kit experiments; dog training classes; volunteer work at the Humane Society

Health Education – Study of bacteria, mold and viruses; nutrition; food preparation and baking; herbology; vegetarianism; The Care and Keeping of You: The Body Book for Girls by Valorie Schaefer and The Feelings Book: The Care and Keeping of Your Emotions by Dr. Lynda Madison (American Girl); practical life skills

Physical Education – Gym class at St. Patrick Catholic School and participation in sports programs; dance; daily outdoor play; hiking; sledding; trampoline; running; swimming; scooter; pogo stick; horseback riding; bicycling; dog walks

Fine Arts – Art class at St. Patrick School; The Rosary in Art (Seton); The Story of Painting (Janson); Claude Monet (Nunhead); Linnea in Monet's Garden; Anholt’s Artist Books for Children series; Beethoven Lives Upstairs (DVD & CD); The Composer’s Special Series (Bach’s Fight for Freedom, etc…, DVDs & CDs); poetry, art, and music (classical composer studies, folk songs, hymns) appreciation; painting; drawing; pottery; art museum visits; attendance at plays and concerts; dramatic play; Parks and Recreation/library arts and crafts programs; Fayette Opera House concert series; piano lessons and recitals; movies and documentaries; needlepoint; crochet; creative writing

First Aid, Safety, and Fire Protection – Continued reinforcement of these subjects through library materials, field trips, and home safety plans

A Pause Before Advent

Yesterday my village became a winter wonderland. My daughter's snow boots from last year are, alas, too small. But that does not stop her from embracing what she says is her favorite season! She inspires me. Winter has never been my favorite season. I like neither the wind nor the cold, though I do love the beauty outside my windows and the coziness of a fire.

We wrapped up our fall homeschooling term on Friday. I decided we would take all of the coming week off for a Thanksgiving break. We can decorate the house for Christmas and shop for our harvest meal. We may be traveling, but as of yet we aren't sure.

In Teaching from Rest, Sarah Mackenzie encourages home educators to "bake in review time." In this week before Advent begins, it seems to me the perfect time to reflect upon how our living education goals are panning out. What books have been a grand success, and which were a flop? Which methods are bringing about the desired results, and what needs to be modified?

Our fall term just happened to end up being exactly 3 months. You may wish to make your terms shorter or longer. But I do believe that regular breaks for refreshment and reflection are necessary. We all need periods of rest and a change from the usual routine.

Take a little time today or another day soon and write down a review of your homeschooling year so far. Pray over your efforts and assess with gentleness the areas where you've been successful and where you need to grow. When the first Sunday in Advent arrives next week, you will be prepared to fully enter into this holy season.

The "Why" of Homeschooling

When the idea of homeschooling first came up, my daughter was still a baby. My husband seemed to think it would be a good idea, but I shot it down. When he asked why I wouldn't want to homeschool, I said with vim and verve, "Because when she's five, I want my life back!"

I've told this story before, and also the part about how my mom tried to tell me, "This is your life now," but it took a long time for that truth to sink in. It wasn't that I didn't enjoy being a mother. It was simply that I was 35 years old and used to a certain freedom, and this radical new path of motherhood took some getting used to.

By the time Beezy was three, my husband and I were definitely leaning toward homeschooling. I can't for the life of me remember what caused this change of heart, but surely it was a God thing. And books by John Holt and John Taylor Gatto were influential. Despite the belief that we were following the Divine Will, I was not Catholic at the time that my child's home education began in earnest, and religion wasn't at the top of the list of reasons for this choice.

Since then I have become profoundly aware of the Church's assurance that parents have received the responsibility and solemn authority to be the primary educators of their children. Parenthood is truly a divinely decreed vocation. That does not mean that Christian parents must homeschool. But the Church says that a true education must be a Christian one, with the purpose of all study being directed toward the supreme end of getting one's children to heaven. A Catholic school could certainly be a valid choice, if it faithfully adheres to the teachings of the Church on education. Unfortunately, this is often not the case. But even if one's parish school is excellent in the realms of both religion and academics, some of the same concerns that parents have about government schools also apply here.

The secular humanism that indoctrinates children in public schools has also crept into parochial ones. The Common Core standards of the federal government that have recently been adopted by most states in the U.S. bring with them a mediocre and morally questionable curriculum that requires increased hours spent in testing and preparation for the tests. Funding is withheld from schools that do not adopt Common Core. And while it is only the subjects of math and English that are currently being hijacked, the long-term plan is to infiltrate all subjects and to establish an invasive tracking program that follows people from the cradle to the grave. I fear that Catholic schools which have adopted Common Core put their traditional aims, purpose, and freedom at risk.

There are also those intangible but crucial considerations of the well-being of the family that come into play in the question of education. Sarah MacKenzie, in her book Teaching from Rest: A Homeschooler's Guide to Unshakable Peace, explains this perspective so eloquently:

"Our children are not projects. If, by the grace of God, we can manage to remember that our children are all made in his image--and more importantly, if we can treat them as such despite the mess and the chaos--then we will really be able to teach from rest. Therein lies the reason we've taken on this arduous task of home education at all--because a government school would not see our children as the image bearers that they are. After reciting the Pledge of Allegiance, there would be no Morning Offering, no Nicene Creed. They would miss countless opportunities to love on their siblings and form deep, meaningful encounters with each other, with us, and with material chosen specifically to nurture their souls. We want all else to pale in comparison to our quest toward honor, virtue, and wisdom."

Though I have not completely ruled out the possibility of a Catholic parochial school for my child, I have serious reservations. The school day and year have grown increasingly longer over the course of American history. In addition to the standard school day plus transportation time, homework and extracurricular activities leave little space for families to spend time--of either quantity or quality--together.

Since its advent, government schooling has sought to weaken the authority of parents. Teachers and the peer group exert undue influence. One benefit of the Catholic schools is that there may be lesser issues with negative socialization, and the prevalence of a religious atmosphere is surely preferable to the obliteration of anything to do with God in the public system. 

At a Catholic school there will, or at least should be, the due support given to parents as the primary educators of their children. Yet at any school, siblings are separated from one another for long hours every day, and family bonds in general may be strained (not to mention the pocketbook in the case of private schooling!). Cacophonous bells interrupt a child's concentration and short-circuit his ability to go deeply into any course of study. Children are shuffled from one room to another, and conformity is mandatory. Problems of bullying persist, and the personality of the child is encroached upon. I am not convinced, even in the best of circumstances, that giving so much of the care and education of one's children over to others is the wisest course or is in the best interest of families. Homeschooling may not be the best option for every family, but it is worthy of prayerful discernment and consideration.

In our fast-paced, busyness idolizing world, a homeschooling atmosphere can be a haven for the family. The fulfillment of God's design for the domestic church has a better chance for successfully coming to fruition. There is a control over one's time and a freedom that I would be hard-pressed to give up. If my daughter went to school, she would miss out on the benefits of a Charlotte Mason lifestyle of learning. Because of her unique learning style, she thrives best in a one-on-one teaching situation. We need not fear being "behind", though I know that such worries do intimidate many home educating parents. If we keep our eyes and hearts tuned to pleasing the Savior, faithfully and consistently tending to the work we have been given, then we will enjoy the true measure of our success.

Blue Heron Nature Walk

Great Blue Heron

 

A friend of mine who blogs posted pictures on Facebook recently of a nature trail right outside our town. It's part of the national Rails to Trails project, in which former railroad tracks are converted to walking trails. Kudos to whoever came up with this plan!

My daughter Beezy and I checked out the Wabash Cannonball Trail in NW Ohio on Monday. It was such a beautiful day, and I didn't feel like doing the usual lessons. When you crave a bit of nature, give in! My powers of intuition have been highly tuned lately, and our timing turned out perfectly. From a bridge on the trail that sits above the road we came in on, I looked down to see a very tall bird standing in a roadside stream. Another walker came along, and I motioned him over to take a look. He told us that the bird was a Blue Heron. What good fortune! It stayed where it was for a long time.

All of Beezy's practice using the camera over the summer paid off, because she was able to get much better still shots than I was, and she recorded a wonderful video of the heron taking off in flight. When we came back home, I felt refreshed, so after lunch we proceeded to have our lesson time, and I easily found online information and short documentaries on this grand bird. Tuesday it rained all day, so I was glad I had followed my instincts. Once I get the photos developed, they will go into Beezy's nature notebook.

This focus on relationships with God's creation lies at the heart of a Charlotte Mason education. Natural science studies should be largely a hands on prospect. Homeschoolers have the freedom to go exploring when the mood or the opportunity strikes. I cannot emphasize enough how well this gentle art of learning benefits our family and our relationships with one another. I can teach from a place of rest, and my child can learn in a likewise manner.

Praying Mantis

 

Simplify, Simplify, Simplify.

A popular slogan used in 12 Step groups is keep it simple. This is great in theory, and so many of us would love to simplify our lives, but we don't know how. Recently I've taken some steps that have made a difference, so I'll share them with you.

I went through my email inbox and removed myself from several mailing lists. So my first tip is, unsubscribe. If a blog sends you notifications of new posts too often, it can be overwhelming, and you may feel obligated to read each post. So you keep them in your inbox to read later, and soon you have several accumulated messages. If you really love the blog, you will go there without reminders. Jennifer Scott posts to "The Daily Connoisseur" every Monday, so I visit her blog each week without being notified. I only post here at Organic Mothering 2 or 3 times a month, so I promise not to clog your inbox if you do wish to follow me via email!

One of my biggest hassles was an overabundance of emails, with numerous attachments on each, that I received several times a week from the Catholic school where Beezy takes a la carte art and gym classes. It suddenly occurred to me to ask the principal to take me off the list. I told her it would be fine to send a paper copy of the weekly newsletter home with my child, and that would serve our purposes. I am now receiving hardly any email messages at all, and it's wonderful!

You can do the same thing with paper magazines. If you don't absolutely adore the publication, cancel the subscription, or do not renew it when it runs out. I have so many magazines that have accumulated in my home that it's difficult to know where to begin, but I am paring them down. Donate old issues to a thrift store or to your local library. Make sure that you also deal with snail mail immediately. File any bills and recycle the junk. Do not allow piles to grow.

I deactivated my primary Facebook account. A couple of years ago I had deleted it altogether, but after my grandma died last year, I wanted to be able to stay in touch with family members. That has been a great thing, but to be honest, most of what I see in the newsfeed is uninteresting. Not the personal stuff, but all of the "cute" animal videos, asinine memes, and general nonsense. It's too easy to get sucked in and waste valuable time. There is also the issue of being offended by what someone wrote, or feeling obligated to respond to someone else's offense over something I've posted. It's just not worth the stress. Real life throws enough curve balls at us, like when I was at the park yesterday and desperately needed to use the restroom. It was locked up for "painting," though I saw no signs of painters. Then when I hurried to the outhouse, I discovered it was out of toilet paper. Thanks be to God that I noticed this before I went ahead with my business. We don't need Facebook on top of daily life. Really.

I do still have a pseudonym FB account in order to remain active in a particular group that is important to me. Even here, I find myself getting too caught up in my advocacy for Charlotte Mason homeschooling and spending too much time thinking about what to share and how to get others involved in edifying conversation. The idea of letting go of my "baby" is almost unthinkable. But I'm thinking about it. I have caught myself designing posts in my mind, and this can become habitual. I know you know what I mean. This is no way to live.

So there you go! Consider just one thing that you can do today to simplify your life.

Kestrel Encounter

Earlier this week Beezy came running to tell me that our outdoor cat, Prince, had wounded a really beautiful bird. "We have to help it!" she exclaimed. The creature was on its back, staring up at us, so I got some thick gloves and turned it over. I was surprised when it turned its head back around to face me, like an owl. Is its neck broken, I wondered? Beezy's cousin was visiting. The girls fetched a basket, and as I tried to transfer the bird to it, he fluttered to a bush and out of sight.

A few minutes later, the girls had the bird in the basket and on the front porch. "I think this is a kestrel," I said, amazed. I only knew this because a friend of ours has been posting pictures on Facebook of kestrels from a tree in his yard. Beezy was gently caring for the bird by using a spray bottle to give it water. The cousins decided to try to feed him wild strawberries, but I realized with a sinking feeling that we wouldn't be able to feed this bird of prey unless we could catch some mice!

I called our vet, who told me to call the police station and get the number for the Department of Natural Resources. The operator got Officer Tom on the line, and before long, he was at our house to pick up the bird, a male kestrel, one of three true falcons. The others are the martin and the peregrine. I had to admire the cat for catching a falcon, but oh dear! Officer Tom was worried that the bird was pretty non-responsive. If he had brain damage, he would have to be put down. The girls had both touched his talons, which evidently was a dangerous thing to do, as these birds are also known as chickenhawks! The talons could have dug in and been extremely difficult to remove, designed as they are by God to grab an entire chicken.

Ironically, I had been worried about not spending enough time out in nature with my child and missing out on learning experiences. And here Nature came knocking right on our door. I heard the song of the kestrel from a video our friend took of the birds at his house and realized that we have more of them living in close proximity to our property. In fact, one just landed on my fence with something in its mouth!

Beezy took some videos yesterday of two of them at the top of our TV antenna, one with what appeared to be a frog. I had been thinking that the birds were especially loud this year, and now I know why! I think Charlotte Mason herself would have been duly impressed with our nature studies. The kestrel, who was named Sarah before we knew he was a boy, was alive as of the day before yesterday, but I did not get a call back after leaving a message with Officer Tom yesterday. So please keep Sarah in your prayers!

A Fond Farewell

Organic Mothering has meant so much to me these past few years. Now the time has come to focus my energy on some exciting, new creative projects. A heartfelt thank you to all of those who have read this blog and followed me on my journey. I may occasionally return with updates and new information on what I am up to, but for the time being, I wish you all Godspeed.

With much love and gratitude,
dancingmommio

Good Intentions

Good Intentions

Let your intentions in the fulfillment of your duties be so pure that you reject from your actions every other object but the glory of God and the salvation of souls. -St. Angela Merici

— from Sisterhood of Saints

I just had to share this quote from Minute Meditations! This is going to be my guiding mantra from now on. Let us commit these words to our minds and embed them in our hearts. Our journey is to be happy on earth so we can be happy in heaven. Our joy is in the Lord. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light (Matt. 11:30). Nothing else matters. No doubt, criticism, unkindness, or ill treatment from others can get in the way of fulfilling our parental vocation. Here is the impenetrable armor. Here is your sword. Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to people of good will. This is our all.

 St. Anne with Mary

As St. Anne taught our Blessed Mother, so I teach my daughter...

DAILY PRAYER TO SAINT ANNE

O glorious St. Anne, you are filled with compassion for those who invoke you and with love for those who suffer! Heavily burdened with the weight of my troubles, I cast myself at your feet and humbly beg of you to take the present intention which I recommend to you in your special care.

Please recommend it to your daughter, the Blessed Virgin Mary, and place it before the throne of Jesus, so that He may bring it to a happy issue. Continue to intercede for me until my request is granted. But, above all, obtain for me the grace one day to see my God face to face, and with you and Mary and all the saints to praise and bless Him for all eternity. Amen.

Our Father, . . . Hail Mary . . .

O Jesus, Holy Mary, St. Ann, help me now and at the hour of my death.

Good St. Ann, intercede for me.

Getting Beyond Unschooling

I also think it would be a mistake to equate unschooling with never doing anything resembling school. Home educated kids do many of the same things done in schools--learn to play a musical instrument, watch videos, create art, read books, compose poetry, make things out of wood, play games and sports, write, ask questions, share their opinion, solve math problems, cook--the list goes on. The difference is that as home educators we can create our most authentic life possible and learn on our own terms, in our own way, in our own time. We can put God and family before academics. We have a myriad of choices, but if we close our minds to any "schooly" methods or materials, we have effectively blocked the path to open source learning.    --  Rita Michele


Why am I quoting myself today? This is a comment I made at the Whole Life Unschooling FB group. A mother is interested in unschooling but doesn't have her husband's support. She was wondering if she could combine homeschooling and unschooling in order to appease her husband but still give her children the benefits of unschooling. Surprisingly, many members responded in the affirmative. 

Group moderator and high profile unschooling advocate Dayna Martin seemed a bit unnerved by this, perhaps because by the murky parameters of its definition, unschooling cannot be done "part-time". Naturally she thinks the ideal is radical unschooling, but she conceded that a combination of traditional homeschooling with unschooling would be better than subscribing entirely to the mainstream. She shared that her kids learn by exploring their interests and passions without engaging in anything at all "schooly", but she also supported the mother doing whatever she wanted or needed to do. She indicated that curriculum materials and structure are fine if the child wants them. However, "forcing" those things, as the dogma goes, would surely be gravely detrimental. 

To her credit, Dayna aims at a nonjudgmental, balanced response, and I am not criticizing her personally. I am intending to show the difficulty in navigating this whole issue and am suggesting making a concerted effort to get beyond it.

Obviously, with my endeavor of implementing what I find to be good in the French lifestyle and way of parenting, I am leaning more toward the importance of consistent routines so that our lives have a framework upon which to authentically grow and bloom. I am thinking of a wooden, arched trellis that was once in my yard. White roses and purple clematis would climb the trellis and be displayed in all of their glory. When strong winds damaged this structure and we had to pull it down, the flowers didn't thrive. They needed to be able to reach a higher place to get enough sun and have a sturdy foundation upon which to stretch out and take shape. How's that for an extended metaphor?

In the extremes of radical unschooling there is a tendency to reject any methods or materials that even remotely resemble school or so-called "authoritarian" parenting. As a home educator, I feel inhibited by such a mindset. I feel like my hands are tied, because we wouldn't want to put limits on our children. We must give them total and absolute freedom in all choices, in every area of life. At the risk of beating a dead horse, this is not only in opposition to the Christian parental vocation, it's simply nonsensical and irresponsible. How can one parent with confidence while being told that he or she is merely a partner and facilitator in learning and life, rather than the primary educator, as the Church teaches?

We have seen the ugly truth of what befalls our society which increasingly rejects its historical traditions. Families, churches, marriages, job security, morals, ethics, values, education, and physical and mental health have all progressively weakened. Sure, there is such a thing as too much structure. I just heard today that children have 50% less free time than they did a generation ago. They are over-scheduled and over-stimulated. As home educators, we have more control over our time and what fills our days and our children's minds, hearts, and souls. Why would we want to abdicate our God-given parental authority? Here is our chance to direct the vine toward the sun and behold the explosion of Beauty. 

Sensible Food Habits from the French

Today after not finishing her lunch, Beezy asked if she could have ice cream. I thought it a good time to fill her in on my new plan for establishing better eating habits. I have written about the French approach to meals before, and for awhile I followed it. But bad habits die hard, and I had never actually shared with my daughter why I wanted to change the way we eat. In addition, I think I had made an effort to improve my own habits, but I hadn't completely followed through with her.

Basically, the French eat three meals a day, plus a 4:00 snack called the goute. It depends on the source as to which meal is largest. Breakfast my be just a tartine (baguette with butter and jam or some other topping) and coffee, or may be more substantial, but it is never skipped. Bread and cheese are usually part of lunch and dinner, and dinner has at least three courses. I think the last meal of the day is usually a little later in France, around 7:30 to 8:00, and dessert is traditionally served. Families sit down to eat dinner together, and just to emphasize the point, there is no snacking between these designated meals times.

After I told Beezy at lunch that she wouldn't be eating again until the 4:00 snack, she was willing to finish her soup (she had eaten a clementine orange and only half her soup), plus a peanut butter and jelly sandwich made with French bread left over from last night's dinner. For our goute, we had homemade banana bread. Beezy assisted by mashing the bananas and cracking and wisking the eggs. Perhaps after having a later dinner, she will not need her usual bedtime snack.

Now, radical unschoolers will let their children decide what, when, and how much they eat. They won't require them to sit at table with their family for meals. Children don't need structure, schedules, or consistency, they assert. While unschoolers are fond of criticizing "mainstream" parenting, in many ways American parents in general are becoming more and more like unschoolers. Of course, each family has its own way of doing things, and the above comments are not true for unschoolers across the board. Some only unschool in the area of education, and I discussed some thoughts about that aspect yesterday. By and large, if unschooling philosophy is applied to all areas of life, then the statements made above about radical unschoolers are generally true.

Interestingly, the formation of these eating habits would certainly be considered part of a child's education in France, right along with learning how to be respectful, polite, and obedient to parents. Correcting a child's behavior is not considered discipline, as we would call it in America. It is called education, which is not the same thing as schooling. We'll talk more about that down the road. What I like about the French idea of education is that parents are responsible for teaching children how to interact properly with others. They firmly and immediately nip disobedience and misbehavior in the bud, beginning with toddlers. The authority of French parents is established early on and consistently maintained. They are in control of the development of good life habits in their children. The more I think about it, the more the unschooling idea of children "self-regulating" is bizarre, untrue, and dangerous.

Once a meal schedule is established, a framework will be put in place for a daily routine that other activities can be worked into. Schedules can be flexible and need not be planned down to every 15 minute segment of the day, but having a general structure to our daily round has many benefits, which I will continue to explore. How we eat effects every other area of life. Isn't it worth getting it right?

Homeschooling & Parental Authority

http://online.wsj.com/news/articles/SB10001424052970204740904577196931457473816
Why French Parents Are Superior by Pamela Druckerman

I have spent a lot of time on homeschooling forums and have noticed a recurrent theme. Mothers are exhausted from fighting their children about doing lessons, so they decide to give up and try unschooling. Some unschoolers report more peaceful homes as a result, while others do not. Many times I have read about unschooling parents whose children say they hate them. Is unschooling, in the long run, truly a good antidote for rebellion in children?


Unschooling can mean different things to different people, and there is a wide spectrum regarding how much freedom children are given to make their own choices and decisions. Whether this method of homeschooling works or not depends upon who you ask. But let's just look at this question of educational lessons and children who don't wish to do them. Is it because the curriculum is boring or too easy? Is it because the child is having difficulty understanding the material? Is it because the mother herself is stressed out about it, so it isn't any fun?

Whatever the details of the resistance, there is a common denominator, which is the root of the resistance itself. Human beings are born with different temperaments, and certainly some kids are more naturally compliant than others. But as I've been saying in the last couple of posts, the core issue is the general abdication of parental authority that has seized Americans. Can you imagine the Ingalls children arguing with Ma about doing their lessons? If you read the Little House on the Prairie series, you know that Ma was kind, loving, and generous with her children. She was also strict by today's standards. Children respected their parents. And Ma and Pa respected their children as persons while at the same time expecting obedience to their authority. Was Laura Ingalls lacking in joy, creativity, or originality as a result? Was her spirit crushed? I think not.

In Chosen and Cherished, Catholic homeschooling mother Kimberly Hahn tells us this:

"How are we to fear the Lord? Psalm 112 gives us the answer: 'Praise the Lord! / Blessed is the man who fears the Lord, / who greatly delights in his commandments!' (Psalm 112:1) Like the psalmist, we worship in reverence and joy: The fear of the Lord links joy to obedience. Our children's obedience gives us a paradigm for our response to our heavenly father. At first they obey from fear of consequences. That is an acceptable motivator for a young child, especially with safety issues involved. However, we look for the mature love of a child who obeys from the heart--to please us, to honor us. This obedience flows from proper respect for us." (emphasis mine)

What a difference this is from the "partnership paradigm" of unschooling! The fear of the Lord is being linked to joy, respect, and obedience. Think about this. Even if in the short term you have a more peaceful relationship with your children because you don't "force" them to do lessons (or brush their teeth, or eat meals with their family at the table, etc...), in the long run you have created an insecure relationship. You have given up the authority given to you by God. We are supposed to role model the Christian fear of the Lord to our children. By learning to obey us, they learn to obey God.

Instead, what we have in America are parents who live in fear of the anger, disappointment, and negative behavior of their children. The bottom line is that however you are teaching your homeschooling lessons, the lessons themselves are ultimately not the problem. The problem is that you have given up your authority, or you never had any in the first place, and your child knows it. The solution is not to stop teaching lessons. If we are going to homeschool, we must be willing to try different approaches and materials until we figure out what will click best, and we have to work at the art of teaching with wisdom, faith, and patience. As Charlotte Mason advocated, develop the habit of obedience in your children and set out a bountiful feast of ideas.

If you read the article Why French Parents Are Superior linked above, you'll get some good ideas on how you can begin to establish your parental authority. It is our responsibility to do so. I am alarmed that many Catholic unschoolers have told me that unschooling is so very Catholic! How? When I hear Christian homeschoolers gushing over the likes of radical unschooling guru Sandra Dodd, it makes me cringe. It's a subtle deception that is simply not in line with the Christian parental vocation. Words like freedom, peace, and joy are being used to tempt parents away from doing the right thing. In fact, it bears a disturbing resemblance to the New Age deception that I have also been writing about.

Undoing Unschooling

I spent a considerable amount of time looking on the internet yesterday for information regarding how to detox from unschooling. I found next to nothing, no matter what key words I employed. Naturally there is a lot of information out there about how to "deschool" and "deprogram" from the effects of institutionalized education. Parents find that they have to deeply question their notions about what education means when they begin to homeschool, and if children have been pulled from the school system, they need time to decompress and to figure out what their interests are and what to do with their time. All of that makes sense.

But what if you need to undo the effects of unschooling? In many ways I have followed unschooling principles in my parenting, even before I actively researched this philosophy and purposefully worked it into our household. I was attracted to the promise of increased joy and creativity, a more relaxed and natural way of living. Ironically, this led me to an interest in the French concept of la joie de vivre, finding deeper meaning through living with more formality, elegance, and passion. Between the French lifestyle and becoming Catholic, I found myself longing for tradition, which is not something often advocated in the unschooling world.

So I am now onto ideas gleaned from French parenting. One hot button topic in unschooling is "food freedom". Children know when they are hungry and what their bodies need, so they should be allowed free choice concerning when and what to eat. French children, on the contrary, eat what is put before them. There is no snacking save at 4:00 p.m., similar to the English tea time. Families eat at table together, and there isn't a separate category of kid foods, like we have in America. Children aren't forced to eat everything on their plates, but they must try what has been prepared. Since French people don't graze all day, they are actually hungry at meal times. Including the children. And so they eat what is on their plates! Simple as that. Why is this so hard for us?

Just now, having not even eaten breakfast yet, my daughter began to open a piece of chocolate. The radical unschooling mother would have allowed this. But non. I did not. Eat a real breakfast, I said. Now she has an apple. Yesterday I made an omelette for lunch, which Beezy helped with by cracking the eggs and whisking them. She wanted just cheese in the omelette. I wanted broccoli, which she likes, so I added it, and also onions, which she doesn't like. I didn't mention that I was putting onion in. I used only a little and cut the pieces very small. She ate her entire portion and didn't even notice the onions! She was hungry because she had not been snacking.

This reminds me of a friend of Beezy's who has visited at our house. I was telling her dad that she had told me she didn't like vegetables, so I asked him for ideas about what foods she likes. He looked at his daughter and said, "You eat what's put in front of you. You know that." During dinner when she didn't want to eat her vegetables, I reminded her what her father had said, and she ate her meal without complaint. She wasn't the least bit upset by it, either.

Another story is a funny one from my own family growing up. My brother was a super finicky eater, and he had gotten alarmingly skinny. My mom took him to the doctor. The doctor set down a rule that my mom must follow. The kids were to eat whatever she cooked, and after dinner, the kitchen was closed. If you didn't eat your dinner, you didn't get to have something else later. After a couple of weeks, my brother was eating everything. This doctor was brilliant! It was his fault that the kitchen was closed, so my brother was mad at the doctor, not my mom. And my mom had the resolve to stick to the plan, because good mothers know what is best for their children, a truth that radical unschoolers would deny.

I have found myself feeding what amounts to an entire meal to my child at bedtime. This will not do. I think a small bedtime snack is fine, but it should not be a time to make up for not eating enough all day long. The bottom line is this: I am no longer going to make special food for children, neither my own nor anyone else's. They will at least try everything on their plates. I am going to cook with healthy ingredients that I enjoy, whether or not my child thinks she likes them. I am not a short order cook, and neither are you. Take charge of meal times! Sit down for dinner together as a family on most days of the week! Do not prepare special kid foods!! Do not allow snacking and grazing all day! But your family is too busy with extracurricular activities to sit down to dinner together, you say? Non, non, non, amie. Then you cut out those activities. Family time should be your priority, not wrestling, ballet, or gymnastics.

When my books come in that I mentioned in the last post, I will share the advice found therein and my own experiences, and together we can undo the unschooling/American lifestyle damage, if that is your wish.
Start today with baby steps. Start with developing good eating habits that will last a lifetime and provide precious, irreplaceable family memories.