Is Charlotte Mason Classical?

Is Charlotte Mason classical? Type this question into a search engine, and you will have lots and lots and lots of choices of articles and blog posts to read. You will find in depth analysis and a million opinions. You will encounter academic sounding terms like "trivium" and "synthetic thinking", and all kinds of people trying to sound very smart. Is that a catty statement to make? Maybe.

But here's the thing: I don't care whether she is or she isn't. This question has created a huge debate and a perceived "division" among Charlotte Mason home educators, a gap which many are trying to close in order to maintain CM unity (or for entertainment purposes). Basically I think it's all an enormous waste of time.

Some of you may remember my meandering journey around the idea of unschooling. I'm seeing a replica of the exact same kind of confusion and argument over terms and "philosophy" again, only now it is classical education at the heart of the cyclone. Eventually I said to myself, "Self, who cares?" And I walked away from unschooling. I said my peace and acknowledged that I can't control anyone else's choices. In a strange way it felt like breaking an addiction, as if there were a supernatural pull trying to lure me back to the dark side.

People get so wrapped up in identifying themselves according to homeschooling methods, to the point that it can become an idol. Recently I've seen the trap set again, but you can't fool me twice. Just like with unschooling, "classical" means different things to different people. The definition becomes a matter of personal interpretation to the extent of nearly losing any meaning entirely, and all kinds of "experts" come out of the woodwork. When I encountered Charlotte Mason, it was through an actual book that a fellow homeschooling mother that I physically knew placed in my real life hand. I also heard about unschooling from a flesh-and-blood source. But these avalanches of debates and direly passionate opinions only seem to happen in one place. And it's right here, on the internet.

I ask you, as you move and breathe in your own home with your own husband, children, dogs and goldfish, does any of this stuff really matter to you, personally, in your day-to-day life? Or is it in reality a monumental distraction away from your everyday joys and responsibilities?

I recently read Consider This: Charlotte Mason and the Classical Tradition by Karen Glass. She is one of these "authorities". Then I came across the article, "Reconsidering Charlotte Mason and the Classical Tradition" by Art Middlekauff, another expert, refuting Glass' thesis. I lean toward Middlekauff's evaluation of things, but that's beside the point. (You can view the article at http://www.charlottemasoninstitute.org/reconsidering-charlotte-mason-and-the-classical-tradition-by-art-middlekauff/). Naturally Middlekauff's daring to defy Glass (nearly sainted in some circles) stirred a hubbub on Facebook, the ultimate bastion of time wasting, tomfoolery, and breathless emulsion of feelings...nothing more than feelings... (cue music).

But such writings and discussions are "important", right?! Both Glass' and Middlekauff's treatises are interesting, well-written, thoroughly researched, thought-provoking--and completely at odds. And oh the reactionary places we'll go! This classical dead horse is being beaten to death.

Here is what I think. We have the teachings of the Catholic Church on education; we have 6 long volumes written by Charlotte Mason herself (and other writings available from her and the PNEU); and we have Sacred Scripture. We have the Holy Spirit to guide us and teach us in all things true, good, and beautiful. Do we really need to force Charlotte Mason into the classical tradition, whatever that may mean? Do we, conversely, have to insist adamantly that she doesn't belong there at all? Can't we just let her be?

Evidently this stuff is important to some people. But I'm going to argue here and now that whether she is or isn't classical won't effect my homeschool or yours one iota. And if it doesn't, what's the point of engaging in the argument at all? It's like asking Dorothy if she's a good witch or a bad witch. Either way (and as she told us herself, she is neither), the Witch of the East has been crushed by her house, the ruby slippers are on her feet, and she's following the yellow brick road.

If you think CM is the best way to go for your family, within the brick-and-mortar walls of your domestic Church, then just get on with it. I give you permission to go directly to Charlotte yourself, where enough abundance exists for a lifetime, and shove the experts aside. Skip that whole field of poppies. The Emerald City awaits!

Charlotte Mason and Deschooling

I had a revelation first thing this morning that explains why I once took a foray into unschooling. I think this was a necessary step on my Charlotte Mason journey. I don't mean to say that it would be necessary for everyone, or that I even recommend it. My best advice is to avoid unschooling altogether. But I understand now the relevant connection in my particular case.

You see, before I became enamored with the idea of unschooling, I was a CM homeschooler. That is, I thought I was. But like many a homeschooler, the public school experience was so ingrained in me that I couldn't really take the high dive plunge into Charlotte Mason; so I just stuck my toes in and maybe waded up to my knees. You know what I mean, don't you? The water is just so cold.

That's a metaphor in more ways than one. The cold stands for all sorts of fear. Breaking out of one's comfort zone and exploring foreign territory takes a great deal of fortitude. No one tells you that you're going to have to be brave. Really and truly brave. For a shot in the arm of confidence and courage, I highly recommend Dr. Seuss' Oh, the Places You'll Go! It's a delight to read aloud, so include your children.

What is also often the case with homeschooling is that you have to swim really hard against the current of societal pressure, the opinions of strangers, and the worries of family and friends. Though it's the fastest growing educational demographic in the U.S., homeschooling is still met with a great deal of suspicion and doubt. It's easy to let this rub off on you and distract you from your purpose and vocation. There's a very good chance that your efforts will be judged entirely upon your child's reading abilities at the age of six, if not before.

The safest bet might seem to be a nicely packaged curriculum that will tell you exactly what to do and will guarantee you "cover" absolutely everything. There's nothing wrong with a boxed curriculum, and it's what works well for many families. But I believe that a Charlotte Mason education presents an even better way, and it's a well-tested remedy for homeschooling burnout. Though it isn't an "easy" way to do things, once you get your routine flowing, it's a very simple method of home-centered learning.

What unschooling got right was the concept of deschooling. Unschooling advocates say that children pulled out of school will need a detoxification period. They will need time to adjust to not being spoon fed and having every minute of the day dictated to them, responding to bells like Pavlov's dog. They might find it very difficult at first to figure out what to do with themselves, to discover their interests and passions. School children's minds are predominantly fed with dry and dumbed down fodder, especially with the new Common Core Curriculum which puts increasing emphasis upon teaching to the test, and which has replaced the bulk of  classic literature traditionally used in schools with "informative texts".

Another result of bringing the children home from school is that the entire family dynamic changes, and the members have to learn to relate in new ways. Children no longer must be separated into grade levels and placed on academic tracks from which it is impossible to break free. Their net worth doesn't have to be measured by performance on tests and the ability to conform. Siblings can learn together, and the integrity of the family unit can be preserved.

I've always been dumb, a bright and talented woman who raised several children once said to me. In school she was placed in the not-so-smart track, and there she has remained, in her mind, all through life. Conversely, the kid always referred to as "gifted" suffers from wondering why he never became rich and famous, why he never measured up to his lofty potential, even with his advanced degrees. Or on the flip side, why he couldn't cut the mustard in college. In all cases, someone else was pulling the strings and gluing on the labels. The emphasis in school is upon what the child doesn't know. With CM, the focus is on what he does know.

Even if you have homeschooled your children from the beginning, and they've never set foot in a school, you still have to deschool yourself. You must re-evaluate the meaning of education. Public schools, by and large, run on a system. Charlotte distinguishes system from method, and her method is an intentional form of self-education. This is how it differs from unschooling. The CM parent directs her child's education. She creates an atmosphere of beauty, learning, and joy in the home and sets down the rails of habit (discipline). She chooses from the best of living books available to provide the food proper to the mind and spirit of the child (a life). So Charlotte Mason's motto goes: Education is an atmosphere, a discipline, and a life. Most importantly, education is the handmaid of Religion.

The only form of education, Charlotte said, is self-education, and this approach is diametrically opposed to the modern, secular humanist system of public schooling. She outlined her method in a set of 20 principles of education, which you can easily google. There is plenty of time in the day to pursue personal interests, as each day's lessons are finished in the morning. But this form of self-education is, unlike unschooling, not interest-led. The child is not responsible for designing her own education. What happens is that when given a diet of living ideas and direct contact with things that his senses can act upon, most notably, ample time spent with Nature, his mind will, on the basis of natural law, extract and work upon the knowledge appropriate to it.

The CM method provides the tools for bringing about this self-education, but the tools alone do not a CM education make. The philosophy behind the method must be understood, and the child's natural curiosity must be engaged. I covered the tip of the CM iceberg by reading other people's writings on Charlotte Mason. Books such as A Charlotte Mason Companion by Karen Andreola are a great place to start. You can read CM blogs and peruse book lists and schedules online at Mater Amabilis, Ambleside Online, and Simply Charlotte Mason. You can join Facebook groups and connect with like-minded mothers. All of these resources are wonderful and can be very beneficial.

However, I caution you to learn from my mistake. I started out reading Charlotte's Mason's Original Homeschooling Series, but I didn't get very far. I made it through to a certain point in Volume 1, and then I only cherry picked it occasionally for ideas. I didn't have the consistent fire of inspiration of her own words or the big picture of her philosophy to guide me, simply because I stopped reading. I was feeling like things were going well with our homeschooling, but I got bored. I wanted more. I lost focus, pulled the anchor, and drifted. And then that golden apple of unschooling winked at me.

But I'm grateful to it. Because I needed to deschool. I still need to deschool, maybe now more than ever, as I go further up and deeper into the Charlotte Mason way of life. I found a wonderful book, The Rosary in Art, from Seton Home Study, and it's perfect for CM art appreciation. They kindly sent me a free catalog, and the temptation became strong to do more of their school-at-home program. Especially since I found their website to be very attractive and user friendly, and they are so profoundly Catholic. And hey, my kid loves workbooks! I settled for their cursive writing book, which will not compromise the CM principles. Because the thing is, you can't have your Charlotte Mason cake and eat it too. But that's another topic for another day.

What I suggest that you do right now is wade straight into Charlotte Mason, but don't go off the high dive, lest you become overwhelmed. Start simply. Read the last in her series, Volume 6, A Philosophy of Education, first. Get one of the companion books, such as Andreola's, and begin to do just a few things. Get a good feel for what constitutes a living book, and read aloud to your children. Start observing nature and spend more time outdoors. Assemble some basic math manipulatives and begin instruction with one-to-one correspondence. Play board games. Listen to classical music as you bake together or do a craft. Begin to understand that children are born persons. Go to Mass as often as you can, and answer your children's questions about God. Do not try to turn everything into a lesson. Once you have finished Vol. 6, go on to Vol. 1.

My mind has been turned back on and my spirit nourished by reading Charlotte Mason's own words. I read with a pencil in my hand! Hers are exactly the sort of living books that she advocated, ones written by a passionate expert in her field. Holy Mother Church and Charlotte Mason are a great combination, and we'll talk more about that too. In the meantime, trust me and let Charlotte's books become your intimate friends.

If You're Going to Do a Job Half-Assed...

Allow me to explain the title. When I was in high school, my dad asked me to clean the kitchen, so I did. Except that after I had finished, he came into the kitchen and reminded me that he had told me to clean it. Confused about what he meant, he pointed out the specific things I had missed in my duty. Dad asked, "If you are going to do a job half-assed, why bother to do it at all?" 

Far from feeling criticized, this "philosophy of the half-assed" was forever emblazoned into my psyche. The image of the half-assed stirs the imagination! And it challenges one to take action, to make a decision, to commit and to persevere.

I have been thoroughly committed to homeschooling, and even more so since becoming Catholic. As a convert, I had to learn what it means to be a Catholic mother and home educator. Catholicism has radically changed my worldview, and it is the ribbon woven through every area of life. The Faith supplies a depth of meaning and a focus that was seriously lacking before, and when I allow it to be, it is a balm for my perennially restless spirit.

I'm not surprised, then, that I also experienced a sort of crisis in my homeschooling as a result of my conversion. I had been using a relaxed Charlotte Mason method prior to being Catholic, and though that seemed to work well, I was always on the lookout for new inspiration. As I have written about extensively, I was seduced by unschooling and its promises of joyful, "natural" learning, while feeling simultaneous revulsion to the dogma of radical unschooling.

Blogs, Facebook groups, and other online resources bear testament to the eclectic approach to homeschooling that seems to be increasingly prevalent. It's eerily similar to the "cafeteria Catholic" phenomenon. When you start picking and choosing which tenets of the Faith you will and will not subscribe to, the domino effect will obviously come into play. Unfortunately this is not apparent to many, and the very center of Catholic belief, the doctrine of the transubstantiation of the Eucharist, comes into question for some of these folks. 

I am not saying that being an eclectic homeschooler is anything so very dire as falling prey to the temptation of self-will that leads to cafeteria Catholicism, or that there is even anything inherently wrong with choosing an eclectic approach to teaching one's children. One of the things we relish as homeschoolers is the very freedom to be who we are as individuals and families, and to prioritize that which we most fervently value in life. The great challenge is to find what philosophies, methods, and resources will best help us to reach our goals. Wading through the enormous possibilities can be positively overwhelming, and the result can be something hodge-podge, unfocused, and, well...half-assed. 

Let me illustrate what I mean. Out of curiosity, I once belonged to a FB group of Christian Pagans, or Pagan Christians, as the emphasis would vary. That will make absolutely no sense to some of you, as you will recognize in this wording an oxymoron. Yet there is a compelling urge for many to design their own religion, to take what they like from various sources and be "free" to worship as they choose. Never mind that the elements in question simply don't go together and result in religious multiple personality disorder, if you will. On a side note, one of the moderators for the Christian Pagan group was staunchly anti-Catholic, though she wouldn't admit to having a bias, and she kicked me out of the group! I was evidently too Catholic. So much for "freedom" of religion, eh?

In a similar vein, I occasionally come across self-proclaimed pagans and other non-Christians wishing to learn how to do a secular Charlotte Mason method. Good people, there is no such animal! Clearly, Charlotte Mason's overriding philosophy is that Education is the handmaid of Religion, as she wrote in Volume 6 of her home education series. And just as clear is the fact that by religion she meant Christianity.

Now, this begs a question for Catholics, as Charlotte was Anglican. Should we even be attempting to "Catholicize" CM, or is it intrinsically heretical, as Mariana Bartold of Keeping It Catholic suggests? As I have written before on this topic, I have found none of the heresies, such as naturalism, modernism, and pantheism, that Bartold brings out in her arguments. Her real issue seems to be that  Charlotte Mason was Protestant. In adopting CM's philosophy and method, we must recognize the "Bible-only" nature of Charlotte's faith and make sure that Catholicism permeates our curriculum. We must be certain, regardless of the methods we use, that our Catholic Faith is the foundation upon which we build our homeschooling. I have found no compelling reason that the Christianity that Jesus himself established cannot be the cornerstone of a CM education. I see no way, on the other hand, that one could rightly establish a secular CM homeschool.

Certainly anyone can employ the tools of narration, copy work, and nature studies, for instance, regardless of religious affiliation or the lack thereof. But using those tools in and of themselves does not a CM education make. For that, one must read Charlotte's own words, critically evaluate and understand them, and realize what the aim is in its entirety. By all means, you can be inspired by Charlotte Mason without necessarily adopting the whole kit-and-caboodle, but... And now we come full circle.

If you are baking a cake, and you wish it to turn out as anticipated, you must precisely measure the ingredients and follow the recipe. If you are a reasonably accomplished baker, you may make substitutions to those ingredients that work quite nicely. You may even be able to improve upon the original recipe. We have resources today, and increasing awareness of child development, that Charlotte Mason couldn't even imagine. I think it would be extremely difficult to do CM in a completely "pure" way.  Because I have a Montessori teaching background, I have used what works for my child from that method along with CM. At one of the Montessori schools where I taught, unit studies and whole language methods were integrated. Similarly, because they are effective and my child likes them, we use some workbooks, which are not part of either method.

I have done my homework in both areas, and I continue to do it. I have a firmly established vision for my child's education and our family life, and everything I do works toward that. Charlotte Mason and unschooling, despite some perceived common ground, are like oil and water if you really understand the purpose of each. I've come to be certain that it's important to narrow the possibilities and to commit your homeschooling efforts in a particular direction. Harsh as this may sound, it isn't okay to just "wing it", regardless of what mothers in other groups may tell you. Do you imagine that the Blessed Mother was secretly thinking to herself, "I'll just wing it?"

I only speak of these things at all because I have been there. I have been confused, and mislead by well-meaning people, and I've been terribly scattered at times. I had a belly dance instructor once who said, "Know what you are doing, and then you can do whatever you want." Another teacher said that you can't create dance fusion until you have mastered those forms that you desire to fuse.

So what I am saying is, be careful what you put together. Make sure you know what the ingredients are before you go about creating your own recipe. Have a firm vision and purpose in mind, and choose your methods wisely. Realize that method flows from philosophy, just as Sacred Scripture flows from the Church's Tradition, and not the other way around. Make an actual plan. Do not homeschool willy-nilly. Make sure, above all else, that your choices are Catholic, and keep yourself and your children out of that half-assed cafeteria line!

Catholic Natural Learning, Fleur-de-Lis Update

In past posts I used the symbol of the fleur-de-lis to illustrate my personal approach to home-centered learning.  This popular French motif has traditionally been used as a Christian symbol representing either the Holy Trinity, Jesus, or, due to the lily's association with purity, the Virgin Mary.  In my concept of Catholic Natural Learning, the base of the fleur-de-lis (that which ties the petals together) is Catholic Faith Formation. The lower parts of the flower represent the Holy Family--Jesus, Mary, and Joseph.  Religion is the foundation upon which education is built, as was discussed in the previous article.

Initially I had designated the three upper petals of the flower to represent the philosophical methodologies of Charlotte Mason (CM), Maria Montessori, and unschooling.  I am still utilizing the first two.  I will give you a brief overview of how we implement both of these.

I rely heavily upon the use of living books as advocated by Charlotte Mason.  These include high quality fictional literature, as well as non-fiction works that are written in story form by a single author who is passionate about his topic.  There is little, if any, use of textbooks or workbooks.  Most subjects are narrated. That is, the child is read to or reads for himself and then gives either an oral or written composition of the material.  Narrations have always been an integral part of our lesson times, but at present my daughter doesn't find them enjoyable to give, so for now I'm not requiring them. She does, however, enjoy doing picture studies, which are another form of narration.  Copy work is regularly done from Catholic prayers, the Bible, or Emma Serl's Primary Language Lessons.  

As a former Montessori classroom teacher, I can tell you that to transfer the Montessori Method to a home setting would require a great deal of space, intensive teacher training, and a huge financial investment. However, none of this is necessary in order to use select Montessori resources which you believe would facilitate your child's learning. Many Montessori materials can be handmade, such as the popular sandpaper letters, and lesson plans are available online. Similar, less expensive materials can be found by companies such as Melissa and Doug. Currently we are using the Montessori moveable alphabet for phonics training and word making, in conjunction with a set of phonics cards and a dry erase board. We use a clock with moveable hands along with a Time and Money workbook, and real money as well.

Key tenets of Montessori philosophy, such as treating the child as a person and educating him for life, including the nurturing of his spirit, can be incorporated by anyone, and these are also core ideas of Charlotte Mason. As Montessori is a very tactile, "hands on" type of method, the use of tools such as math manipulatives; building activities such as Lincoln Logs and Legos; putting together puzzles; and practical life experiences such as dish washing, orange juice making, and folding clothes are things easily incorporated in the Montessori spirit.

Honing one's faculty of observation is also a primary Montessori element. In the home, you can prepare the environment to provide developmentally appropriate activities that the child is free to choose from. Establishing learning centers with materials for such things as creating artwork, making music, doing science experiments, and for use in dramatic play encourages self-directed projects. The parent/teacher has the opportunity to observe and "follow the child" in exploring her interests, finding her gifts, and supporting her in the more challenging areas.

So what of unschooling? I have determined that creating an atmosphere of learning all the time can be established using natural methods such as CM and Montessori, making the inclusion of unschooling unnecessary. All of the promise of a joyful way of family life can be had without the dogmatic baggage that comes with unschooling and the generally anti-teaching attitude of many unschoolers.  And the truth is that unschooling does not qualify as a method at all; rather, it is a philosophical mindset. I do not believe that children should shoulder the primary responsibility of deciding what, when, and how they will learn, especially in the extremes of radical unschooling. This idea goes against the Christian vocation of parents as the primary educators of their children. Since the unschooling Gestapo will insist that one can't partially unschool, it makes sense to avoid the issue altogether.

What I have chosen instead for the 3rd petal on the fleur-de-lis is relaxed homeschooling, a term coined by Mary Hood. Relaxed homeschooling is also a mindset rather than a method. Hood has described it as a middle path between the opposite ends of unschooling and the traditional school-at-home approach. Upcoming posts will illustrate how I apply a relaxed mindset with the particular methods of Maria Montessori and Charlotte Mason in the context of Catholic education.

A Return to Charlotte Mason

If it doesn't bring you closer to Jesus, flush it.  When our priest makes a statement like this, it is in reference to private religious devotions, the teachings of the saints, and such. But this phrase came to mind when I was thinking about unschooling and how I have gone back and forth with whether or not I believe in it. I never became a radical unschooler or stopped teaching my child formal lessons, and there is no harm done. I learned a lot of helpful ideas and could see how unschooling intersected with attachment parenting, which I very much believe in. I also met some great people.

After looking into unschooling thoroughly and trying it out in various ways, I think I have put in enough time and observation to come to a verdict. Father J. is pretty no-nonsense, and I doubt he would have deliberated or reflected for so long about anything; but I have more than once been accused of over-analyzing... I think Father's litmus test could be used in many situations, so I asked myself, has unschooling philosophy brought me closer to Jesus?

The positive influence my study of unschooling had was to make me more aware of how my husband and I were talking to our child. It sparked the inspiration to bring more joy and passion into our daily life as a family, and as individuals. It encouraged me to keep a written record of all learning experiences, not just those related to formal lessons. I can keep all of these good things even as I move past the unschooling experience, which in the final analysis I feel to be contrary to my Christian parental vocation and not the best fit for our family as an educational method.

A member of the Catholic Unschooling FB group posted an article from Lori Pickert's Project Based Homeschooling blog recently, because she didn't like what the author wrote about the issue of unschooling attrition. I personally was very grateful for this post. I've been reading a little bit at a time from the blog and have Pickert's book on the way from Amazon. It seems like something that can be used along with other methods, and I'm sure I'll be writing about it.

I'm redirecting my focus now to the Charlotte Mason method. I never stopped using her teaching techniques completely, but I want to go deeper with them and expand what we are doing so that it will better reflect the "generous curriculum" and "feast of ideas" that she advocated for the children's sake. The blog Higher Up and Further In looks very promising on this front. I have also joined two FB groups-- "Our" Charlotte Mason Homeschool (with a slant), the slant being that they are Catholic, and Charlotte Mason Homeschoolers.

Some Catholics feel that Charlotte Mason held heretical views and that these are reflected in her philosophy, but her methods are her own spin (with an emphasis on nature studies, and replacing the study of Latin or Greek with French) on classical education, which the Church has always embraced. You can simply use what makes sense as a Catholic of her parenting advice and ignore what doesn't.

It is apparent that unschooling really resonates with some Christians, and if it brings them closer to Jesus, then that's great. Rather than continue to argue with anyone about the problematic aspects of unschooling for Christians and in general (I've already given ample space in this blog to speaking my peace), I will just wish them well and remove myself from those FB groups that tend to distract me from doing what will bring me closer to Jesus.

Undoing Unschooling

I spent a considerable amount of time looking on the internet yesterday for information regarding how to detox from unschooling. I found next to nothing, no matter what key words I employed. Naturally there is a lot of information out there about how to "deschool" and "deprogram" from the effects of institutionalized education. Parents find that they have to deeply question their notions about what education means when they begin to homeschool, and if children have been pulled from the school system, they need time to decompress and to figure out what their interests are and what to do with their time. All of that makes sense.

But what if you need to undo the effects of unschooling? In many ways I have followed unschooling principles in my parenting, even before I actively researched this philosophy and purposefully worked it into our household. I was attracted to the promise of increased joy and creativity, a more relaxed and natural way of living. Ironically, this led me to an interest in the French concept of la joie de vivre, finding deeper meaning through living with more formality, elegance, and passion. Between the French lifestyle and becoming Catholic, I found myself longing for tradition, which is not something often advocated in the unschooling world.

So I am now onto ideas gleaned from French parenting. One hot button topic in unschooling is "food freedom". Children know when they are hungry and what their bodies need, so they should be allowed free choice concerning when and what to eat. French children, on the contrary, eat what is put before them. There is no snacking save at 4:00 p.m., similar to the English tea time. Families eat at table together, and there isn't a separate category of kid foods, like we have in America. Children aren't forced to eat everything on their plates, but they must try what has been prepared. Since French people don't graze all day, they are actually hungry at meal times. Including the children. And so they eat what is on their plates! Simple as that. Why is this so hard for us?

Just now, having not even eaten breakfast yet, my daughter began to open a piece of chocolate. The radical unschooling mother would have allowed this. But non. I did not. Eat a real breakfast, I said. Now she has an apple. Yesterday I made an omelette for lunch, which Beezy helped with by cracking the eggs and whisking them. She wanted just cheese in the omelette. I wanted broccoli, which she likes, so I added it, and also onions, which she doesn't like. I didn't mention that I was putting onion in. I used only a little and cut the pieces very small. She ate her entire portion and didn't even notice the onions! She was hungry because she had not been snacking.

This reminds me of a friend of Beezy's who has visited at our house. I was telling her dad that she had told me she didn't like vegetables, so I asked him for ideas about what foods she likes. He looked at his daughter and said, "You eat what's put in front of you. You know that." During dinner when she didn't want to eat her vegetables, I reminded her what her father had said, and she ate her meal without complaint. She wasn't the least bit upset by it, either.

Another story is a funny one from my own family growing up. My brother was a super finicky eater, and he had gotten alarmingly skinny. My mom took him to the doctor. The doctor set down a rule that my mom must follow. The kids were to eat whatever she cooked, and after dinner, the kitchen was closed. If you didn't eat your dinner, you didn't get to have something else later. After a couple of weeks, my brother was eating everything. This doctor was brilliant! It was his fault that the kitchen was closed, so my brother was mad at the doctor, not my mom. And my mom had the resolve to stick to the plan, because good mothers know what is best for their children, a truth that radical unschoolers would deny.

I have found myself feeding what amounts to an entire meal to my child at bedtime. This will not do. I think a small bedtime snack is fine, but it should not be a time to make up for not eating enough all day long. The bottom line is this: I am no longer going to make special food for children, neither my own nor anyone else's. They will at least try everything on their plates. I am going to cook with healthy ingredients that I enjoy, whether or not my child thinks she likes them. I am not a short order cook, and neither are you. Take charge of meal times! Sit down for dinner together as a family on most days of the week! Do not prepare special kid foods!! Do not allow snacking and grazing all day! But your family is too busy with extracurricular activities to sit down to dinner together, you say? Non, non, non, amie. Then you cut out those activities. Family time should be your priority, not wrestling, ballet, or gymnastics.

When my books come in that I mentioned in the last post, I will share the advice found therein and my own experiences, and together we can undo the unschooling/American lifestyle damage, if that is your wish.
Start today with baby steps. Start with developing good eating habits that will last a lifetime and provide precious, irreplaceable family memories.

French Twist & Saying No to Unschooling

http://www.workingmother.com/content/french-twist-my-experiment-french-parenting

I just read an excerpt, linked above, from the book French Twist, by Catherine Crawford. I promptly ordered it from the library. It seems like just the remedy I need! The remedy for what, you ask? Oh, it's a book about an American mother's experiment in adopting the French parenting style, inspired by a French friend of hers. Crawford observed herself and parents in many American cities having lost total control of their children. By trying to keep her children always completely satisfied, and in line with the modern trend toward respecting children to the point of abdicating all authority, she found herself exhausted. While Crawford's daughter was throwing a tantrum in another room, the French mother gave this advice:  If there is no blood, don't get up.

This is what I need--a sense of humor about the whole situation. Now, my daughter is a pleasant person and she doesn't throw fits. But I fear that my foray into unschooling has only been helpful to the extent that I am feeling more and more like it doesn't sit right with me. In the long run, by abandoning the whole unschooling project, I hope to forge a better, saner path. While it provided me with much-needed inspiration, and I am grateful for that, it also gave me some guidelines on how not to parent. Gentleness and peace can be cultivated without subscribing to unschooling philosophy.

With my own child, it's the arguing, albeit with general politeness, that wears me (and especially her dad!) down. And particularly because she is an only child, it's the pressure to be the entertainment committee and alleviate any potential boredom that drives me crazy. How does this relate to why I think unschooling reflects a less than ideal parenting style?

Here is the type of question people ask on unschooling forums: "Should I let my 6 year old watch The Hunger Games?" Um, no, obviously. The scary part is that parents lack confidence to the extent that they go online and ask strangers for advice. And the type of advice they get is to allow the child to watch the movie, perhaps explaining first that children get violently killed, and the movie might cause nightmares. If it is scary, you can stop the movie and discuss it. Then maybe continue on, or maybe the child will decide that she doesn't want to see it. This isn't just an issue with homeschoolers. It is nothing less than a nationwide parenting crisis. My duty as a mother is to teach my child and protect her from harm, not merely to facilitate a child-led learning process.

I agree that it's a good idea to get at the root of undesirable behaviors, to respect children as people, and to give them practice making choices. But this new "partnership paradigm" in the relationship of parents and children, in my opinion, has gotten out of hand. It doesn't simplify life (at least not for me), and it doesn't necessarily make for a more peaceful home (as attested by many FB unschooling group members). It puts too much responsibility on the shoulders of children whose parents should be in charge. There, I said it. Parents should be in control. Control in the unschooling community is a very nasty word. This whole idea of "trusting" kids to know for themselves what they need to learn, when they need to go to bed, and what is okay to watch on TV is a big pile of schlock--like a sandwich oozing with way too much peanut butter and jelly, like Ally Sheedy's lunch in The Breakfast Club. Authoritative is not the same thing as authoritarian. Family relationships and our relationship with God should come first in any notion of education, and the parents should lead the way.

I have another book coming from Amazon written by a Catholic mom in the 1950s. It isn't a homeschooling book, but I need advice on how to raise my child in a Catholic home that makes some sense. Some good old-fashioned solid advice that allows a mother to say, "No. Because I said so." Now wouldn't that be truly radical?

Natural Learning Updates

Over on The Sparkling Martins blog today, Dayna has written about how her oldest two children learned to read naturally, without phonics training, direct teaching, or tests. It's food for thought, the idea that people will want to learn this wonderful and useful skill, and therefore internal motivation will lead to the acquiring of it, when a child is interested and ready.

At my house we do "natural" reading lessons, using a Montessori inspired approach you can read about in the Aug. 31 post. Reading is not so far an activity that takes priority in Beezy's life, though occasionally I find her reading of her own accord, not only because it is part of "school". Still, she likes to read, and it isn't being forced upon her. Reading is also a part of other activities, such as the Pictureka! board game we played today. Being read to is still one of Beezy's greatest joys, and her comprehension skills are strong. Some days I feel content with her reading progress, while other days I find myself feeling a little frustrated. Then I know that I have to step back and refocus.

Keeping track of daily activities in my small leather notebook helps me to see that learning happens all day long, in a variety of ways. Learning is simply life. And for children, play is the primary and most effective method of education. Just now, Beezy brought a bug in that she found in our birdbath and said, "I'm studying it." I noticed it had wings and so was likely to die in the cup of water she had put it in, so she took it out and set it in the shade. So much can be learned simply through observation and conversation.

I do still need to have some formal learning time and a basic system to follow in order to feel comfortable with our homeschooling life. My foray into unschooling, however, has taught me that having a rhythm to our days, rather than a set schedule, provides for a relaxed flow and an openness to spontaneous choices. I do feel more joyful with a natural learning mindset. I think it is the unschooling attitude that sets it apart from other methods more so than the actual things done throughout the course of the day. Reading, math, writing, science, history, religion and other "subjects" happen in every homeschooling situation, and many of the same resources are being used. The difference is in why a topic or skill is being pursued, in what context, and in what form.

A common concern I come across in my reading are the so called "gaps" that may occur with homeschooling, and especially in the case of unschooling. This seems like a lapse in common sense. Regardless of how one is educated, no person will have learned everything there possibly is to learn, even if he lives to be 100. I know nothing about statistics, robotics, calculus, or accounting. Nor, at this time, do I care to. Even in my strongest areas, such as literature, there is still much to be learned. I was recently turned on to the poetry of Gerard Manley Hopkins, an English Jesuit priest from the Victorian era, who I somehow missed in college. I suppose Hopkins has come into my life at the time that we were meant to be introduced. What a happy surprise! I'm grateful for the gap in my education.

There is much deconditioning to do in our understanding of what it means to be educated. The U.S. is possibly on the verge of military action in Syria. Are we to embark on yet another war in the Middle East? All of the knowledge in the world will not help our leaders make the best decisions if they lack wisdom. Sadly, our youth is growing up in a culture in which wisdom is rarely considered, and even knowledge has taken a back seat to "information." The Common Core Curriculum being implemented this school year seeks to replace much of classic literature with "informational textbooks." The written word will be dissected until anything alive and inspiring has been gutted from it like a fish.

Education as information must be cognitively understood and memorized, within a limited context, whereas an emphasis on culture--symbol, story, nuance, philosophy, art, history, religion, language, ethics, and experience--results in greater understanding, in a relational context. Culture is not easily measured by multiple choice and true and false tests. Test taking skills are measured by tests. Only a small fraction of the learning styles and intelligences natural to humanity fit into the public schooling model of education. The "smart" people are the ones who best fit into that limited fraction and who are the most obedient and compliant to outside authority.

Despite my sometimes negative impressions of radical unschooling, I am continuing to open my mind, little by little, to its potential goodness. Yes, I believe that it sometimes goes too far in the name of "freedom" and veers into the perils of unparenting and neglect. But within the peaceful borders of what I believe to be the truth of the Catholic faith, I see the promise of a beautiful, thriving garden of limitless possibility for a better future for humanity. A sea change, one mindful family at a time.

Easing into Homeschooling

It is a 90 degree day, and the children in our district went back to school today. I remember wanting to wear new clothes on my first day of high school (1983), so I dressed in a fall outfit comprised of a wool argyle sweater and corduroy pants, with penny loafers, of course! I was sweltering hot all day. Very uncomfortable. I think kids in the present era might be allowed to wear shorts to school. I hope they did today!

I was going to wait until after Labor Day to start our homeschooling, but since the streets were quiet and devoid of the neighborhood children Beezy usually plays with, it made sense to go ahead and ease back into our lessons. And this way we can be finished by early May. After my whole foray into researching unschooling and practicing natural learning over the summer, am I going to do anything different this year? Yes and no.

I kept a notebook all summer of our activities, and certainly there was much learning that happened naturally by simply living life and doing the things we enjoy doing. Beezy attended three vacation bible schools, went to the pool often, and played with many friends, including having lots of sleepovers. We had two family reunions and visited my husband's dad in upstate New York. We watched movies and played video games. Beezy participated in parks and recreation activities such as gardening, cooking, crafts, and a week of a special program at our library. She continued with the dog obedience classes begun in the spring and is still working on her 4-H program book for her dog project. Beezy and her dad played a lot of board games together, and math skills were reinforced this way.

While she did read some books over the summer, I didn't think that enough reading progress was happening through "unschooling". We go to Mass every week, but I feel that more is required to really learn about our Catholic faith. Weekly religious education classes at our church will begin next week. As Catholic homeschoolers, religion must be the center and foundation of our studies and our life. Also, math is one of Beezy's strengths, so that subject needs more formal attention to maximize her skills. I will continue to keep a record of all of our activities in my small, leather bound book.

What we did today was very simple. I have all of the books we will be using for the year already collected, except for whatever we may check out from the library. This way I can relax, knowing that we don't have to get every resource out and start using it now. We have the whole year ahead to explore...

Formal lessons will be worked into the day, not as a set schedule, but in the context of a natural and relaxed rhythm. With my recent exploration of the French way of life, la joie de vivre, it seems most logical to structure our days around meals! This probably seems obvious to some, but my family had habitually become grazers. I would often have only coffee for breakfast, and then a very small lunch, snack throughout the day, and then make a nice dinner, later snacking some more. But even sitting down together for at least one meal a day was not consistently happening. Now we are eating a real breakfast, a substantial lunch, and a lovely dinner. I am not snacking, but dessert is allowed, and usually I have one or two squares of Ghiradelli chocolate a day. I am paying more attention to eating slowly and really tasting and savoring what I put into my mouth.

We did a little homeschooling after breakfast. While I prepared lunch, Beezy played "girl games" on the laptop, which I am assisting her in learning to use. She also played outside. After lunch we did more lessons, then walked the dog together as a family. Beezy and I ran an errand, and then we played together with Monster High dolls. After that her dad read to her.

We began and ended our homeschooling with prayers from the Catholic Treasury of Prayers. I read the 20th chapter of John to her, and we prayed the first Sorrowful Mystery of the Rosary, the Resurrection, using a book of Our Lady's Rosary Novenas. Beezy worked on her dog project book, which uses writing skills, and read the first story in the Ginn classic reader, We Are Neighbors. I began reading the historical novel, St. Elizabeth's Three Crowns, to her, which I will sometimes have her narrate. That was it for today, just a gentle beginning to get back into the swing of things. Oh, and the soccer season began last evening, which covers physical education!

The difference in approach this year is mostly one of attitude rather than methodology. The focus is particularly Catholic, and I am not going to allow myself to feel pressured to achieve specific academic goals. There are no check lists or a scope and sequence curriculum to follow. We will live and learn at our own pace, with no separation between "school" and "home". Learning happens through the rituals of family life, and my goal is to make that life one of beauty, elegance, and refinement, celebrating tradition and experiencing joy in the smallest details. God alone, with a little help from the French and the Blessed Mother, is my guide.

Joie de Vivre & Homeschooling

I discovered for myself that in France presentation is not incidental, but capital. The kings may be long gone, but customs that started in the court, and the respect for rules and protocol, are still present in France today. French flair, style, and panache imply some kind of freedom. But form is ever present, and style and panache are played out within its boundaries. Form is not some abstract concept; it governs daily life...      

--Harriet Welty Rochefort, from Joie de Vivre


There you have it. I highlighted certain words in Harriet's passage, because they spoke to me of why particular aspects of unschooling philosophy and practice struck me like fingernails on a chalk board. Of course my voyage into the world of unschooling would have to intersect at some point with my new pursuit of joie de vivre. Now I know why, aside from religious considerations, the radical unschooling idea of "freedom without limits" sounded so wrong. My French sensibilities balked at the very idea! My maternal great-grandmother was a Valley (Vallee in French), half French, and my mother adored her. My grandmother and my mother surely inherited something of the French way from this woman whose father was French-American, both in their blood and in their life experience. No wonder the idea of formlessless, of the absence of boundaries, seems so, well, vulgar, to me!

Once again the value of discipline is brought to form, and the true freedom to be found within certain, defined parameters. To the French, this is what it means to be human. Tradition and custom are tres important. They are not trifles that impede self-expression and joy; rather, they are the very fabric from which the tapestry of joie de vivre is woven! They are natural to society. Therein lies my distinction between unschooling and natural learning. Neither should the fact that France is a Catholic nation be overlooked. I will take formal elegance and the value of beauty wrought from tradition over an inconsistent free-for-all any day. Give me fresh cut flowers on my dining room table. Let me eat my breakfast on fine china. And God give me the grace to teach my child how to live and learn well. Let joie de vivre be her inheritance.

What Is Natural?

Today many people, disillusioned with the American Dream and the frenetic pace of modern life, are making intentional efforts to live more simply and naturally. Some of these people are homeschoolers. So many people are unhappy, going through the motions of what "normal" people are supposed to do, how they were conditioned to think they should live and what they were told they should want from life. If they finally reach a particular goal, or find the right career or the right mate, they will be happy. And then they still aren't. So they set their sights on acquiring the next possession, pair of shoes, degree, or wife that will be the right fit, the missing piece. And they get it, and their life is still devoid of meaning. The restlessness never goes away.

Maybe my own restlessness led me to study unschooling. Maybe I was thinking that there should be more, somehow, to our days. Sometimes Beezy would ask to do school, impatient to get started. Sometimes she wanted to do more than I had planned. But sometimes she wanted to do something different, something that didn't seem to me to be as high a priority; so I would say we had to focus so we could get school over with (now that's telling, isn't it?), and then she could do what she wanted. I came to feel that our lives revolved around our school time, even though it was a comparatively short time during the day.

Then last Valentine's Day, I let making valentines and baking shortcake be the priority. We had so much fun, and that day is still a shiny one in my mind. Why couldn't every day be so joyful? Of course, not every day is a holiday. Or is it? Holiday. The combining of two original words: "holy" and "day". Holy Day. 

Yesterday Beezy had a "true or false" quiz in her 4-H project book. She caught on to the idea, but I could tell that while she knew the information, the phrasing of the statements was confusing. It didn't immediately occur to me that she had never taken a test, so this was a new experience. Then I had a distant recollection of feeling confused myself as a child taking such tests. Remember multiple choice questions? You might have known the answer if you hadn't been confused by sorting through all the choices. I don't think tests really show what a child knows, how well she knows it, or how well she thinks through a question. In college, I always preferred essay tests. I could usually be sure of having something to write. I could show what I knew, rather than be exposed for what I didn't know. A true or false test shows relatively nothing about what Beezy knows about dogs.

I really hope that homeschool curriculum tests aren't like this. If they are, I can understand why unschoolers are reviled by school-at-home methods. That being said, there are 100 ways to skin a cat, right? (Isn't that the weirdest saying?) Homeschooling, no matter the method or curriculum used (or not used), is a lifestyle. It gives families greater freedom to be who they naturally are, to become the people God created them to be. If we don't get bogged down by arbitrary requirements and someone else's schedule, or even by our own. What if every day could be a holy day?

Rules vs. Principles

Radical unschoolers make much ado over living by principles rather than rules. This sounds fine in theory, but then it occurred to me that principles might lead to certain rules, just as a matter of logical flow. What's the problem with rules? It seems that some fear that establishing specific rules would lead to punishment if those rules were broken, and punishment is not allowed. Instead, natural consequences should be permitted to occur so that the child will learn on his own to make better choices. I don't believe that rules necessarily lead to punishment. I do agree that natural consequences are superior to punishment, but as usual we need to define the terms.

At the Montessori schools where I worked, the teachers also believed in natural consequences, but in a different way from unschoolers. The natural consequence of, say, stabbing someone with a pencil might be to have the privilege of using the pencil taken away for a certain amount of time. The RU philosophy, on the other hand, would dictate that the parents do not provide the consequences at all. The freedom to use the pencil would not be taken away. The hope would be that when the other kid got upset about being stabbed, or hit the stabber on the head with a block in retaliation or whatever, the one wielding the pencil violently would realize that was something he should not do. This is only an illustration and is not to say that RU parents would allow their children to seriously hurt one another.

If the children were able to work the problem out on their own, Montessori teachers would do their best not to interfere. Especially if no one was physically harmed, we would often send the child who was telling on another back to her friend, reminding her of how to use her words to express her feelings. An RU parent would also likely use such guidance, so there are similarities, but the distinction is important.

In Montessori, the only consequence of many conflicts might be the requirement of an apology, a reminder of how to treat one another respectfully and with empathy, and/or a suggestion to draw your friend a nice picture if you had hurt his feelings. A time out might be used to help a child have some time to calm down before coming back to resolve the conflict. Natural consequences as understood in the RU way, with no direct parental interference concerning the outcome, sometimes work but often do not achieve balanced results. A child may not stop drinking too much soda just because his body has become unhealthy from it, or stop shoplifting because she got caught, for example. Therefore, I would have to argue against the idea that children will always "self-regulate" effectively. (I would instead champion positive habit formation and authoritative parental action when needed.) This leads to the next analysis of terms.

Another RU reason for not establishing rules is that this would be coercion. "Coercion" and "force" are often used by radical unschoolers in the same sentence. In reality, these words are synonyms. Why say the same thing twice? I think it is a subtle form of emotional manipulation, to make you feel bad for being "forceful" (in other words, somehow violent) with your child. I agree that using intimidation, bullying, or physical punishment to get a child to conform to an adult's will is a bad thing. But just as with the false idea that teaching usually means coercion, the villainization of rules goes too far. And here's the irony: one definition of "rule" is a regulating principle. Rules and principles are both codes of conduct. We typically think of a principle as a generalized, rather than a specific, rule, but these words are also synonyms on some level. The sharp line that unschoolers draw between rules and principles is imaginary. This hair-splitting doesn't help anyone, and it leaves the radical unschooling philosophy feeling flimsy and shallow.

It's as if parents don't trust themselves to be fair and discerning, and kind and gentle with their children, unless they follow a strict dogma of what they can and cannot do. They insist that their children must be trusted to make their own decisions regarding education and everything else, and so they must avoid any semblance of "teaching" or "rules" or "coercion" at all costs, or they will destroy their child's freedom. Do we free our children by chaining ourselves this way?

I agree that arbitrary rules set only for the convenience of parental control are not ideal and can harm our relationship with our children. Rules that naturally flow from religious and personal values, however, make good sense. They create peaceful boundaries. In this way, I also agree that living by certain principles can mean that not as many specific rules will be necessary. And self-discipline can be taught to a child without shaming or physical violence. One Golden Rule comes to my mind: Do unto others as you would have done unto you. This is a brilliant guiding principle to follow!

Vintage Catholic Homeschooling & Teaching vs. Facilitation

My family has been traveling in upstate New York this week, and today we went out for a drive in the countryside seeking antiques and flea marketing. I found a Catholic school book for the lower grades called America's Founders and Leaders, a biographical history of the United States. Published first in 1928, the year both of my grandmothers were born, this is a living book featuring the discoverers, explorers, soldiers, missionaries, martyrs, inventors, and statesmen "who have helped to make our country great." The editors write, "We want you to know the glorious part which Catholics have taken in the founding, freeing, establishing, and developing of our country."

Norse explorer, Leif Erikson

 

I have gotten the impression that many Catholics are choosing homeschooling over Catholic schools, not only because of cost issues, but because the Catholic schools in some parishes are no longer providing a truly Catholic education. I have also read lamenting words over watered down religious education classes for children and the complaint that they have become "too Protestant," so some families are also foregoing those classes offered weekly by churches. There is in addition the broader discontent with how Vatican II has been interpreted and the changes in the Mass and other outcomes deemed negative by those who wish a return to tradition.

A common theme seems to run between these concerns and those Catholics drawn to a Charlotte Mason type education. An alarming modernism turns these families toward using traditional Catholic curriculum companies (some of whom reprint out-of-print resources) or designing their own curriculum with a decidedly classical, vintage orientation. There is an intense longing to reclaim traditional Catholic practices, such as the Latin Mass, Marian devotion, and a deeply encompassing faith formation for children.

Incidentally, these particularly Catholic issues raise questions regarding the growing trend of Catholic unschooling. So allow me to take a closer look at a couple of the unschooling buzzwords, as I promised in the last post to do. Unschoolers separate themselves from public schooling and school-at-home methods by drawing a sharp line between "teaching" and "facilitation." Here is a quote from author Sarah McGrath in Unschooling: a Lifestyle of Learning:  "The act of teaching includes an offer of information, at best, and pressure or threat to learn, at worst." Obviously we would wish to avoid that worst case scenario which is, in some cases, admittedly associated with teaching. But is teaching, at best, the offering of information?

First of all, this anti-teaching rhetoric supposes that the offering of information is of little to no value, a point with which I disagree. And when I consider my vocation as a belly dance instructor, so much more comes to mind. When I teach belly dancing, I share my passion (another unschooling buzzword). I pass on the knowledge, experience and wisdom of those who taught me, as well as my own personal take on the dance. I give feedback and instruct my students in how to move their bodies without injury, and I also provide an emotionally safe place for self-expression. I offer encouragement. Students follow my movements (role modeling) and verbal instructions to learn correct posture and excellent technique. I tell them about the culture of the Near and Middle East, share history of the dance in its varying forms, explain musical differences, show costuming that I own, pass pictures around, etc... The modes of teaching are endless, and my classes are often described as fun and inspiring.

Contrast this with "faciliation," the preferred method of unschoolers. Facilitate merely means, "to make easier." So, unschooling parents make learning easier for their children. That's it? I understand, of course, that methods such as "strewing" interesting and educational materials in the child's path, answering questions, having conversations, providing resources to help a child explore interests, and creating an enriching home environment are all ways of facilitating a child's education, and there is nothing wrong with any of these. They are, indeed, all good things. There is, however, a definition of the root word, facile, which means, "readily manifested and often lacking sincerity or depth." I know of unschoolers who go deeply into their interests, and I know of those whose resources are limited, shallow, and potentially harmful. My concern here is an approach to education that replaces teaching with making things easier.

Easier doesn't necessarily mean more joyful (unschooling buzzword) or substantial. Why is facilitation glorified and teaching villainized in the radical unschooling community; or at best, reserved only if asked for directly by the child? To be fair, RU parents are "allowed" to offer information and guide their children, but children are still given unlimited choice according to the prevailing dogma, and any requirement of receiving formal instruction is deemed coercion (a buzzword for another day!)

I am here to argue that teaching and facilitation can go hand in hand, and as I understand the teaching of the Church on education, facilitation alone doesn't fit the bill. Teaching is not unnatural. Rather, it has been honored from the dawn of time, and certainly from the dawn of Christianity. Jesus is the Master Teacher, the Rabboni, and there is no higher honor. Don't we Catholic parents want this for our families?

Organic Mothering is now the home of not only "the art of natural family living" but also of "the vintage catholic homeschool." Welcome to the future of Catholic education, a truly natural learning experience!

Gospel of Freedom

Your own holiness is the best “gospel of freedom” you can offer. If you are holy and happy, people will know you are somehow different, and they will want what you have.

— from Catholic and Confident


This passage from the Franciscan "Minute Meditations" that I receive daily in my email inbox reflects the freedom within peaceful borders that I have been talking about in relation to unschooling. I was really turned off, when I spent some time with Facebook groups, by the radical unschooling notion that "freedom within limits is not freedom," a direct quote I read on one of them. It comes down to how one defines freedom. Anarchy is not freedom. For me, life without Christ and his Church is not freedom. I still wonder whether I should claim radical unschooling as a Catholic after all, for the sake of redefining what that can mean for a person of faith. 

It disturbs me to witness Christians being sucked into the secular rhetoric of radical unschooling, where it is implied that only in very specified terms can peaceful parenting be practiced, and only in being what some consider "fully RU" are children truly "free". Indeed, this is often billed as the only authentic form of unschooling, and its their way or the highway! Where does this nonsense come from? Well, the short story is that John Holt coined the term unschooling, by which he simply meant homeschooling--learning without the confines of school and its traditional trappings. But it was felt by some that the Christian community had taken homeschooling over with the development of their own curricula, so unschooling was branded as a different animal, and any curriculum use or set schedule became anathema. 

Then Sandra Dodd decided that the unschooling philosophy must be applied to all facets of life, which for her and many others somehow translates into children doing whatever they want, whenever they want. Somehow living by "principles" rather than "rules" (though these are in certain ways synonymous) will save the family from bedlam, and everyone will be balanced and self-regulated. But that isn't what is happening with, for instance, the mother who let her kid drink as much soda as he wanted, and then that's all he wanted for weeks. He stopped eating food, and she felt like she couldn't interfere because that wasn't "RU"!! This boy was 6 years old. Somewhere along the way, perhaps having become disenchanted with being slaves to a curriculum, some Christians picked up unschooling and tried their best to apply it within a Christian framework. The question is, can this be done?

Ironically, this radical unschooling version of freedom for children requires the adherence by parents to a strict system of rules put forth by such unschooling gurus, to the extent that the word "cult" started to float around in my brain. I just got so frustrated, wanting to embrace some of these ideas yet so repelled by some others. Too many parents seem to have ceased to think for themselves or to use an iota of common sense that I just couldn't bear to be part of the unschooling groups any more. I even left the Christian and Catholic ones--though the extreme problems were much less prevalent there--so I could clear my head and begin with a clean slate. Do I let the dream of living and learning joyfully that unschooling promises die, or do I dream a new, truly Catholic dream for unschooling? The thing is, many of those radical unschoolers are miserable and their children tell them they hate them. When they ask for help, the gurus and other RU parents often just tell them they aren't doing it right; they aren't "RU" enough. That is certainly not the case across the board, but these poor souls need a better way.

Suzie Andres wrote the book on Catholic unschooling, but I think it has got to go deeper, because the secular voices are so much louder. Radical unschooling as it stands allows for spirituality, but only in the sense of religious indifferentism, because it really has its own dogma. Despite what Suzie and her philosopher husband concluded about unschooling not being an ideology, and therefore being in no conflict of interest with Catholicism, it just is not so when it comes to the radical version. Unless, of course, we Catholics entirely redefine what it means to be radical. It really shouldn't be that hard. The Church has been around for 2000 years, while radical unschooling has maybe a few decades under its belt. You want radical? Then be a Catholic. 

Why not just leave off the word "radical" and be done with it? Because if we say that ideally there should be no separation between learning and life, which is essentially what unschooling means, then it is by nature radical; that is, all encompassing. In that I agree with Sandra Dodd. Radical literally means "from the root". And Catholic education is supposed to be an entity that does not separate learning from the Faith, according to the Magisterium. Again, we have a deep sense of rootedness. By its very nature, it follows that Catholic unschooling is radical, but obviously not in the way Sandra Dodd means. Hence my desire to set this dish on a clean plate.

I don't think we can Catholicize an educational method and lifestyle that preaches a freedom without limits dogma. That being said, I don't believe that even the most RU parents don't have their limits. What I have seen in these unschooling groups is a state of deep, secular humanist indoctrination. That is why I opted for the label, Catholic Natural Learning, instead of Radical Unschooling. Happiness and Freedom outside of the Church? Forget about it! But religious issues aside, the way of living some families have adopted by following the RU dogma as they understand it is not healthy by any standard.

I really wanted to be done with this topic, but I can't leave souls drifting and confused and mislead in this sweet-smelling radical unschooling muck. It almost happened to me, because a lot of what Dayna Martin (author of Radical Unschooling: A Revolution Has Begun) says is truly inspiring, and I admire her in many ways. But I kept hearing the Virgin Mary quietly clearing her throat. So I'm probably not done--not by a long shot.   

 "The Virgin Mary in the Rose Garden," Albert Gustav Aristedes Edelfelt (1854-1905)

A Modified Homeschooling Fleur de Lis

 

Our homeschooling approval letter arrived today. The superintendent is always very prompt; I only turned in my paper work on Monday! This means that the evaluation by a certified teacher was completed and my curriculum outline finished. Not only that, but aside from what we will borrow from the library, I have all of the books we will use for the upcoming school year organized into a basket and an antique egg crate. These are next to our shelves of games and other fun, educational activities. A freshly dusted and tidied set of shelves, I might add! If you remember reading it, or in case you didn't, Order on the Homestead was one of the upper petals of my original "little way of homeschooling" fleur de lis. The center petal was Catholic Faith Formation, and the other was Charlotte Mason/Open Source Learning. The base segments represented Jesus, Mary, and Joseph.

Now that I have had time to delve deeply into studying unschooling, and have determined that many of the positive points are also found in Montessori and CM, I think I will modify the format. Catholic Faith Formation will actually be at the foundation, tying everything together, with the members of the Holy Family still in their places. The Faith is central to our lives, home (domestic church), and educational efforts. It should guide and permeate the methods (petals) used above the base. Since I am now calling our homeschooling philosophy Catholic Natural Learning, the upper domain of the fleur de lis will be Montessori, Charlotte Mason, and Unschooling. These are all natural methods. Order is intrinsic to Montessori's philosophy, while CM is strong on good habit formation. There is then no need for a separate category of "order on the homestead".

While unschooling's benefits are basically included in the other two methods, the emphasis on joyful living; partnering with children in learning; treating children respectfully and as equal people; acknowledging that the child is the primary agent in his or her learning; balancing the needs of all family members; and passionately pursuing interests has been such a good influence on me that I want to keep these principles in the forefront of my mind.

One more very important point to mention. Maria Montessori, Charlotte Mason, and John Holt were all brilliant educational reformers, and each cared deeply for children. However, none of these was ever a parent but Maria, who was not instrumental in raising her son, Mario. As carefully and mindfully as they observed children, none of them were ever homeschoolers. They were all classroom teachers, though after leaving teaching, Holt spent much time with families in their own homes. As much inspiration as we may glean from these folks, our own experience and intuition trumps any scholarly advice or modern educational guru. We know our children best. We know best what they need to learn and thrive as human beings. And if we aren't sure, no one cares more about finding out than we do. So trust in God, and trust yourselves!

I do not believe that the full burden of education and decision-making, or even the greater part of it, should ever rest on children. As they age and mature, certainly they can handle ever-increasing autonomy. Gradually. The gentle authority of parents should be exercised. Consistency is important. Peaceful borders (limits) are necessary. These elements create security for children and are part and parcel of the parental vocation. In fact, I would say that they are all quite... natural. 

Choices.

I was recently visiting with a close friend who has been a public school teacher for many years, working with 7th and 8th graders in language arts. The comment she heard most often from her students about her class was how very much they appreciated the choices she gave them. They chose their own books and writing topics, and believe it or not, she actually gave them regular time in class for silent reading! She even expressed to me that she wishes more parents would do unschooling (life learning) activities with their kids, as the burden of education seems to rest almost exclusively with school teachers.

This brings to mind a strange day in my high school geography class. Our teacher was asking questions to which we students did not have answers. Suddenly he punched the chalk board. If we had been dozing, we woke up then! "It's not your fault," he said dramatically. "Your parents should have taught you these things." How much time do parents of school children have to teach them anything? My friend seemed to think that the school day is not really that long. Yet if kids get on a bus at 7:30 a.m. and do not come home until 3:30 p.m, that is 40 hours a week away from home. Add after school activities such as sports and clubs, and then add a couple hours of homework a night.

Kids are tired. I remember many an evening that I slept right through dinner, woke up to eat by myself and do my homework, figured out what to wear the next day, and went to bed. Today kids have many more distractions in the way of TV, computer use, and video games. The school system, combined with these modern diversions, separates family members from one another and impedes meaningful connections. The peer group at school becomes dominant over relationships with parents and siblings, neighbors, and extended family.

My teacher friend's students loved having real choices. This gave them the opportunity to make their own decisions.  It gave them the impression that they were people whose opinions and preferences mattered.  I remember telling my mom that my 5th grade teacher addressed the students as "people," rather than calling us "children" or "kids." That small gesture signaled respect. That teacher also read to us out loud on a regular basis, even though we could read by ourselves. I loved this teacher. With all the pressure today put on teachers and students in preparing for standardized testing, many teachers cannot find a way to personalize education or encourage individuality, critical thinking, and creativity. Reading out loud to students would seem superfluous.

The world is full of never ending choices. Children need practice in making them. The problem I see is that the goal of school is supposed to be preparing young people for the "real world", as if they have not yet begun to really live.  We become accustomed to always thinking that life will begin only after some educational goal is accomplished, and this continues on to after I get this new job, after I get married, after I lose the weight...The list goes on, the years go by, and life happens, whether or not we fully engage it.  How about if children just live and learn in the real world in the first place? 

School's Out! Now what?

Last Thursday I said to Beezy, "How would you like this to be the last day of school?" Of course she was all for it, so when we completed lessons I said, "Congratulations on finishing this school year. Thank you for being in my class." I shook her hand, and then she raised both fists in the air and shouted, "Outside forever!"  She had told me recently during a school day that she just wanted to be outside running around. I listened. I realized that even doing lessons on the upstairs balcony, with tree branches at arms' length and in the company of the sights and sounds of the outside world, was not enough to curb the feeling that she was missing out. In fact, I think that looking the little birdies in the eye made it worse. There are kittens across the street to visit, squirrels to chase, and toddlers in the neighborhood that want to play. Monday was running-in-the-sprinkler weather. So glad we were done with school!

So here is what we are up to. Yesterday we went to Farmer Jo Ann's for flowers, finally. Less than two weeks ago it got down to freezing over night! While practicing piano, Beezy told me she wished she had lessons every day. She has "written" her own song, and she loves experimenting with sounds on the electronic keyboard. Tuesday she has dog obedience class with Daisy for her 4-H project. Thursday we are going to the circus as part of her birthday, and we are taking a friend of hers who also has a May birthday. We will visit a science museum in Ft. Wayne with another friend this weekend, and then celebrate my grandma's 85th birthday at my cousin's house. The first week of June is Vacation Bible School, which is always a highlight of Beezy's year. The week after that, the pool will open.

As for summer reading, I had the brilliant idea of having Beezy choose her own picture books from the library, and it is working. She chooses to read them. We will do that every couple of weeks. I say this idea was brilliant because it was so obvious. She always picks out videos for herself, but never books. I had to suggest it, and there was a little resistance, but sometimes children do need a gentle push in the right direction. I'm going to find a little basket for her to keep them in.

Life just continues on, and we savor the unique pleasures and opportunities that each season brings. Hopefully the freedom from school lessons will help me to observe closely the ways in which learning happens in every moment of every day and is not separate from the rest of life. Then when fall comes, the shift into "school time" will be merely an organic segue into the next season, rather than an abrupt change. We will be truly unschooling.

Bouncing Back Gently

Thursday I had my big left toenail removed by an Irish Catholic podiatrist. Having had this surgery before, I knew that the four numbing needles jabbed into the toe would hurt, but the good doctor assured me that he had just done this same thing to two 12-year-olds, and they were fine! Good for them. When he started to stick me with the needles and realized that he was, indeed, hurting me, he began apologizing profusely for having lied to me! I assured him that he did not have to apologize, but he said he did, having grown up with nuns and learning to be sorry for lying. I'm not making this up.

Saturday I belly danced for the first time since the original injury. I had only gotten back into the swing of things for a few weeks after finally healing from throwing my back out, when I knocked the toenail partially out of its socket. I did this on my screened front porch while moving a wicker chair, and I yelled really loudly. So loud I was embarrassed and ran back into the house. I had to cancel two of my dance classes. Lack of exercise results in giving me the blues, so I felt my way out of the melancholy to begin to gently dance again. Just to cycle through a warm up, some gentle drilling of basics, dancing improvisationally to an upbeat song, and cooling down with yoga. Such regular practice is centering, energizing, and strengthening, increasing flexibility and a positive body image. Not to mention the actual health and beauty benefits.

It is difficult when we are aware of what our bodies and souls need, yet we aren't able to give those things to ourselves for whatever reasons. This is when I surrender and offer it up to God for the blessing of someone in greater need. There is a place for suffering in my life, and it can benefit someone else. My faith keeps me from wallowing in self-pity or giving in to deep depression. But therein lies another source of melancholy--the fact that I reached my major goal of joining the Catholic Church. Now that this has been accomplished, I can just be Catholic! There is that sense of let down, kind of like after the build up to Christmas. My daughter is so excited to go to church this evening and have her 2nd Holy Communion. We both waited so long, and now we have our heart's desire. What does one do after one has achieved her heart's desire? After the wedding comes the long years of marriage.

So begins the gentle bouncing back from the dark, cold days of winter. Finally, it feels like spring. We will have flower after flower come up in the yard for the entire growing season. Then the leaves will turn color, and eventually it will be winter once more. It can be easy to take the tulips for granted right now, to think ahead to days spent at the pool, lounging with a good book. Even thinking of summer frazzles me a bit, though, as I feel pressure to decide if we will suspend all school work, or keep doing reading lessons as we have been. Part of me wants to jump into unschooling and flow with the current, while another part thinks that more structure is what we need! Oh bother, as Winnie-the-Pooh would say.

I have to remind myself that life has been very busy, and it is natural to be tired as a result of planning for big days and being physically wounded. Keeping it simple is the order of the day. Rest is necessary for recovery, and on Sundays it is a religious requirement! So I am off to lounge on my upstairs balcony, maybe with a bowl of ice cream.

  picnicking.blogspot.com