The Many Paths of Relaxed Homeschooling

 What steps must I take to reach the cat?

Have you ever had the experience of reading an article about homeschooling, seeing a post on Facebook, or talking to another homeschooling mother and feeling like you don't quite measure up? And then maybe you have the impulse to suddenly overhaul everything you do in order to be as awesome as someone else seems to be? There is that fine line between being inspired and feeling inferior.

I remember reading a blog post once that implored home educating mothers to be real on their blogs, to give a more balanced view of what homeschooling is really like, not just the Pollyanna version. I didn't quite agree with this. As a blogger, I want to be encouraging and inspiring. Who wants to see pictures of the messes and bad days?

But now I get it. For example, I received an invitation in my inbox yesterday from Lori Pickert for a master class on project-based homeschooling. I have Lori's book. I think project-based homeschooling is a great idea, and oh dear, I had forgotten all about it! I had the sudden urge to entirely redo Beezy's arts and crafts area and then remembered that I was simply not up to it physically, and I'd have to wait. I was thinking that I'd better finish reading Lori's book and make sure everything in my home is perfectly arranged to optimize the doing of self-directed projects!

But let's hit the pause button and reflect on this for a moment. Beezy has an ongoing self-directed project of writing daily in her diary, sometimes several times a day. She regularly creates drawing projects and likes to invent potions, mixing together various lotions, perfumes, shampoos, etc..., which can yield interesting chemical reactions. Recently she redesigned her desk area in her bedroom. A couple of days ago she assembled a few of her Monster High dolls and created a store where they were buying and selling things. And of course when Beezy gets together with a friend, the projects do not cease unless the girls are sleeping. Do we really need a master class?

In Lori's blog post she made the point that children learn by doing. She said that if you walk into a classroom and you see children copying notes from the chalkboard, what they are actually learning to do is to copy notes. Reminders such as this keep us on our toes as home educators. We must leave enough space to allow children to learn how to learn, to think critically, and to create in organic ways. There is a place for formal lessons, but we need to be careful not to spoon feed. And even in those formal lessons, nothing should be wasted or done just to check off a box.

Beezy loves to do work pages. They might seem like busy work to me, but she intuitively knows that they facilitate her learning in a way that she needs. She also knows when her mind is not being fed. She announced one day that she hates math because it's boring and too easy. Too easy! So I realized that she doesn't have to do a thousand math problems when she learns a new concept. We can skip what isn't necessary in the workbook and move on.

Thinking in terms of relaxed home learning, that restful schole that I wrote about recently, reminds me that homeschooling takes on a unique form in every home. And those pictures of perfect homeschoolers on Facebook? I have been in some of those homes, and I know better. Those perfect moments are about as brief as the time it takes to snap the photo. The beauty is in the reality of life.

Once you get your system rolling, through trial and error and experience, your family will find its natural rhythm. You'll roll with the changes as you observe your children, and you will provide them with exactly what they need. In trying to meet Beezy's desire to make potions, I checked out a gigantic book of such recipes from the library and was promptly overwhelmed by all of the ingredients I would need to find. Where the heck would borax be in Wal-Mart? I sent the book back and kept thinking about how to do chemistry at home. Then it hit me. I went on Ebay and found a kit with all of the stuff already included for 16 edible experiments, for only $13 with free shipping. Huzzah!

It's good to read blogs and books and to share ideas with other homeschoolers. Just don't get caught in the comparison trap. Don't imagine that what you are doing isn't already wonderful. Because I assure you, it's the bees knees!

The Meaning of Schole

Let's continue the discussion of relaxed homeschooling in the framework of the Catholic Faith.  I would first of all suggest that home education should, by nature, be relaxed.  What do I mean by this?  I don't mean that one's approach to home-centered learning should be lazy or lacking a method.  My basic premise is simply that homeschooling and mothering can be used interchangeably.  Homeschooling mothers are doing the job they have done since their babies were born, or even from the womb.  As the child grows in every way and changes developmentally, the job of the mother evolves and adjusts.  As home educators, we are not intended by God to be just like classroom teachers or to turn our homes into mini-replicas of public schools, or even private ones.

I really don't like to use the word school at all, but prefer to call our system of structured learning, "lesson time".  My daughter Beezy, however, likes to "do school", and I haven't been able to convince her not to call it that.  I found a wonderful substitution for both.  Have you heard of schole?  This Greek word has an accent mark above the "e", and it reflects an ancient meaning of education.

Josef Pieper’s seminal work, Leisure, the Basis of Culture opens with this:

The Greek word for leisure (scholé) is the origin of Latin scola, English school. The name for the institutions of education and learning mean “leisure.”

Schole is restful learning! It isn't about work and productivity, as in the modern idea of school, but rather refers to philosophy, contemplation, and the search for truth.  The Charlotte Mason (CM) approach of feeding the mind with living ideas reflects the classical understanding of schole.  The student, which basically means any human being, is nurtured and becomes lost in this food of the mind/spirit.  We forget ourselves in the captivating stories we read, in the beauty of music, or in the intoxicating fragrance of a flower.  A frog at the edge of a pond is fascinating, and complete stillness is required to observe it.  The eloquence of the Psalms fills us with awe, as does the mystery of Mona Lisa's smile.  The tragedy of Romeo and Juliet brings us to tears.  The goodness of Jesus' sacrifice on the cross envelops us as we receive the sacrament of Holy Communion.  In schole, we are transported to behold with our very souls the nature of Truth, Goodness, and Beauty.

School, we can conclude, was never intended to be about check lists, profit, or productivity.  It wasn't about cramming the mind full of dates and facts to be forgotten after the test.  It was a very different thing from jobs training.  A relaxed, Charlotte Mason inspired homeschooler will endeavor to return education to the realm of the liberal arts.  Charlotte Mason believed that education should serve to form the character of the child and to equip him with critical thinking skills and the ability to learn.  Whatever job or vocation was chosen, the man or woman would do it better because of this "gentle art of learning".  He or she would, most importantly, be a better person.

If your homeschooling experience is not one of leisure, relaxed CM home education might be the answer.  It's difficult to undo the effects of our many years of what is now called "traditional" schooling, which in reality is a modernist invention, and to think of education in an entirely different way.  At first it might seem easier to follow the typical protocol of subjects, textbooks, scope, and sequence.  It may feel safer to use a curriculum designed by someone else, by a company who chooses the books, methods, and schedules for you, a company made up of people who don't know your child.  The notion that you will at least have tangible "results"  and "cover" all subjects can be consoling.

I'm not saying that a "school-at-home" type of choice is inherently wrong.  It might work well for your particular children, and some curriculum packages are based on living books and classic literature.  And certainly there are excellent and truly traditional Catholic educational companies.  I have also heard reports that homeschooling mothers are able to use portions of curriculum packages in a relaxed way.  The concern is that choosing a one-size-fits-all program, which the government schools are increasingly doing with the adoption of Common Core, could be a form of sloth; if you are indeed taking the easy way out and not considering the needs of each unique child.  A faith-driven choice will not be one born of fear. 

We may sit and wonder how God came to be, and how he created the whole wide world out of nothing.  We may suddenly have a poem or the tune of a song appear mysteriously in our minds.  We may marvel that a hawk has landed in our own backyard and watch it do nothing but perch on a branch for an entire hour.  This would be called "daydreaming", a pastime highly discouraged in today's schools.  But this is religion, art, and science; mathematics, philosophy, and theology.  This is embracing the gift of abundant life.  This is schole.

Back to Basics--Revisiting the Concept of Organic Mothering

Organic Mothering is both a parenting style and a philosophy of natural family living. It encompasses the tenets of attachment parenting, eating organic and locally grown food and other practices of sustainability, and homeschooling or other, alternative education choices that offer trust and freedom for children.

OM is a spiritual practice focusing on mindfulness and awakening to the authentic self. It honors nature and flows with the rhythm of the seasons. It embraces the wabi sabi elements of simplicity, imperfect beauty, and paring down life to what is essential.

OM creates space for a woman--and her husband and children--to breathe, to be present in the moment. It brings a sense of purpose and meaning to the activities of each day, facilitating in the creation and appreciation of Beauty and the fulfillment of the poetry that is Life. 


If you go back to the very first post on this blog, these are the words you will find. I had a vision for Organic Mothering, and as far as I am aware, I coined the term. It is used by others now, but when I initially searched to make sure I wasn't stealing anyone else's blog title or idea, I didn't find it anywhere. I'm pleased that it's a concept that has caught on and inspired many.

It's hard to believe that this blog has been going since 2011! Much has changed in my life since then, most notably that I am now Catholic. The sentence, OM is a spiritual practice focusing on mindfulness and awakening to the authentic self, strikes me as a bit New Age today. That isn't surprising, though. It reflects all of the self help study I did in my 20s, and that's okay. I still need to grow in the area of mindfulness, of being keenly aware of my words and actions. But increasingly that awareness is centered on the tenets of the Catholic Faith and the Church that Jesus founded. How well, or how poorly, I see Christ in each person is the ultimate litmus test of mindfulness.

What about the "authentic self"? In Simple Abundance, Sarah Ban Breathnach wrote that the authentic Self is "the soul made visible". The question currently is, is it well with my soul? Is the Holy Spirit living visibly in the depths of my heart? I read once in Carol Houselander's The Reed of God that as we grow in becoming more like Christ, our rough spots may actually appear worse, as they are juxtaposed against the blinding light of the life of God within us.  That's my paraphrase of what she wrote.

Since I joined the Catholic Church, my "cradle Catholic" husband has reverted to the Faith, a great miracle if ever there was one. Now we are a Catholic household, each of us working out our salvation, individually and together. My vocation as a wife is to get my husband to heaven; his is to get me to heaven; and ours is to get our child to heaven. Any notion of "organic mothering" now pivots around being Catholic.

Home-centered learning is about being Catholic. When my home education efforts revolve around teaching and experiencing the Faith, all goes well. When they don't, it doesn't. I am currently reading The Joyful Home Schooler by Mary Hood, Ph.D.  She points out that in the Bible, God admonishes parents to teach their children in the ways of the Lord and his Word. Nothing else. Hood is Christian but not Catholic, so of course she doesn't talk about the Magisterium of the Church. Religious differences aside, I love what she wrote. God has not directed us to focus on lesson plans or grade levels or to create a mini educational institution that mirrors the public schools. Though she doesn't use the term, what she is talking about is establishing in one's home a domestic church.

We do have a responsibility to equip our children with the knowledge and skills that they will need to make their own way in this world. However, academics must always be secondary. As we read stories from the Bible, study the Catechism, and learn about the saints; as we pray together and talk about our Faith; as my child is mindfully lead to become the person that God has created her to be; the reading, the math, and the writing will follow. Trust in the guidance of the Holy Spirit is paramount to anything that can rightly be called an education. There is no education without Jesus and his Church. It follows, then, that there is no real education in the public schools. Even if there is no choice but to send one's children to a public school, parents are still required to be their primary educators.

Getting back to the basics of organic mothering means going higher up and further into the Catholic Faith. It means that there is no separation between life, learning, and religion. As Charlotte Mason said, education is the handmaid of Religion. Along with flowing with the rhythm of the seasons, we follow the liturgical year. We gratefully care for all we have in stewardship to God. We behold the Incarnation and the image of Madonna and Child, of God become man, nurtured at the breast of Mary. What greater symbol of organic mothering could there be? What greater Beauty?

A Return to Charlotte Mason

If it doesn't bring you closer to Jesus, flush it.  When our priest makes a statement like this, it is in reference to private religious devotions, the teachings of the saints, and such. But this phrase came to mind when I was thinking about unschooling and how I have gone back and forth with whether or not I believe in it. I never became a radical unschooler or stopped teaching my child formal lessons, and there is no harm done. I learned a lot of helpful ideas and could see how unschooling intersected with attachment parenting, which I very much believe in. I also met some great people.

After looking into unschooling thoroughly and trying it out in various ways, I think I have put in enough time and observation to come to a verdict. Father J. is pretty no-nonsense, and I doubt he would have deliberated or reflected for so long about anything; but I have more than once been accused of over-analyzing... I think Father's litmus test could be used in many situations, so I asked myself, has unschooling philosophy brought me closer to Jesus?

The positive influence my study of unschooling had was to make me more aware of how my husband and I were talking to our child. It sparked the inspiration to bring more joy and passion into our daily life as a family, and as individuals. It encouraged me to keep a written record of all learning experiences, not just those related to formal lessons. I can keep all of these good things even as I move past the unschooling experience, which in the final analysis I feel to be contrary to my Christian parental vocation and not the best fit for our family as an educational method.

A member of the Catholic Unschooling FB group posted an article from Lori Pickert's Project Based Homeschooling blog recently, because she didn't like what the author wrote about the issue of unschooling attrition. I personally was very grateful for this post. I've been reading a little bit at a time from the blog and have Pickert's book on the way from Amazon. It seems like something that can be used along with other methods, and I'm sure I'll be writing about it.

I'm redirecting my focus now to the Charlotte Mason method. I never stopped using her teaching techniques completely, but I want to go deeper with them and expand what we are doing so that it will better reflect the "generous curriculum" and "feast of ideas" that she advocated for the children's sake. The blog Higher Up and Further In looks very promising on this front. I have also joined two FB groups-- "Our" Charlotte Mason Homeschool (with a slant), the slant being that they are Catholic, and Charlotte Mason Homeschoolers.

Some Catholics feel that Charlotte Mason held heretical views and that these are reflected in her philosophy, but her methods are her own spin (with an emphasis on nature studies, and replacing the study of Latin or Greek with French) on classical education, which the Church has always embraced. You can simply use what makes sense as a Catholic of her parenting advice and ignore what doesn't.

It is apparent that unschooling really resonates with some Christians, and if it brings them closer to Jesus, then that's great. Rather than continue to argue with anyone about the problematic aspects of unschooling for Christians and in general (I've already given ample space in this blog to speaking my peace), I will just wish them well and remove myself from those FB groups that tend to distract me from doing what will bring me closer to Jesus.

Simply Catholic.

I have changed the description of this blog to Simply Catholic. This was inspired by the topic of cafeteria Catholicism written about in the last post. I left a Catholic homeschooling Facebook group recently because of the division and extremism that I witnessed there. Early in my journey to the Catholic Church, I became aware of the controversy around the interpretation and implementation of Vatican II, and the split among Catholics who consider themselves "traditional" or "progressive", or who have adopted the political monikers of "liberal" and "conservative" to describe their brand of Catholicism.

The thing is, Catholicism doesn't come in brands. There are Rites, the major groupings being the Roman, Antiochian, Alexandrian, and Byzantine, each representing an ecclesiastical tradition about how the sacraments are to be celebrated. That's right, not all Catholics are Roman Catholics! And there are various religious orders, such as the Dominicans and the Franciscans. The Mass can be validly celebrated in either Latin or in the vernacular language. There is Sunday Mass and daily Mass, high Mass and low Mass. But it is all one, unified religion. Catholic literally means, universal. "Catholic" refers to the universal Christian Church. Catholic is Catholic.

So why isn't it simple? I suppose it's because the Church is made up of many good but flawed and sinful people. In the cacophony of conflicting opinions, some find it easiest to cling to the rules, laws, and doctrines in the most literal way possible, resulting in a joyless, white-glove-test scrupulousness. Others have decided to just chuck the whole thing and leave the Church. Still others stay and make the best of it, striving to be loyal to Jesus and his Church while keeping their hearts open to the leading of the Spirit and a deeper development of faith that is unique and personal. Among those are advocates for change, which manifests in myriad ways, all wishing for the real Church to please stand up.

A woman in another FB group warned me not to romanticize the Church. "But why not?" I wondered. It all seemed to make so much sense, lovely as a perfect day in May. And I do believe that in Catholicism the fulness of the Christian faith is found. The in-fighting, however, is all too real. I witnessed and participated in a heated FB argument on the before-mentioned Catholic homeschooling forum about whether or not yoga is a permissible practice for Catholics. Come to find out that EWTN, a Catholic TV station, has warned against not only yoga, but aromatherapy, hot stone massage, reiki, and herbal remedies. I also learned that there is even something called a sede vacantist, who is a person that believes that the Chair of Peter is currently empty; in fact, some believe that there hasn't been a valid pope since Vatican II!! But these people still go to Mass. ?????

It's enough to occasionally make me want to run away screaming. But among the thorns I have heard voices of those roses who say, "I am simply Catholic." No divisive labeling, no holier than thou high horse prancing. The hope, for me, lies in determining what about the faith is most important to me and relevant to my life today. I am not suggesting a "take what you like and leave the rest" attitude in terms of Church teaching. I simply want to look at what drew me to the Church in the first place, and what made me decide that it was imperative to become Catholic. Not every doctrine is of equal importance, and not every bit of the Catechism has to be near and dear to my heart.

If you too are a Catholic, or any Christian, who feels disillusioned and discouraged, let's take a few quiet moments to write down what matters to us most. Brew a nice, hot cup of tea, put on some soothing music, light a candle or incense, and meditate upon what the Spirit is trying to tell you. This will not be the same for every person, but for each of us there burns a holy light.

Catholic Natural Learning

Having established that I could be a radical unschooler, I have decided that this is not the best fit for my family. I have learned so much from all of the reading, talking, writing, praying, and even sometimes obsessing (who, me?) about unschooling since February. I do believe that the Spirit is leading me toward a gentler approach to parenting and homeschooling. Mostly, I think I am being called to more fully engage life. To follow passions and make relationships a top priority. To avoid doing things because I should. To experience more joy.

Those things of which I have written about unschooling that resonate with me are the same ideas that attracted me to Montessori and Charlotte Mason. Many adults that I personally know are disrespectful toward children. I am guilty too, and this is the biggest thing that I want to change. Following my natural rhythms, and giving my child the opportunity to discover hers--this is important. But freedom without limits is nonsense.

The Virgin Mary is my role model exemplar as a wife, mother, and disciple of Jesus. With her guidance, intercession, blessings, grace, and protection, I cannot fail. She knows best the will of Jesus for my life. Jesus and Mary know what is best for my family, and I have no doubt that the Holy Spirit has and will continue to light my way.

All along I have defined Catholic unschooling as a uniting of the Faith, life, and learning into a seamless whole. How that is accomplished will be unique to each family. The concern I have is that "unschooling" is the negation of school. It is "not school". That doesn't give me something solid to embrace. If unschoolers are living as if school does not exist, why use the word school in the description at all? Life learning, natural learning, and organic learning are some examples of a worldview similar to unschooling, but without the baggage. Without the rigidity of "thou shall nots".

So I am taking a break from books and internet searches on the subject of unschooling. I have done my studying, and it is time to get back to making the Catholic faith the center of day-to-day living. I think I'll ditch coffee while I'm at it. Unschooling has given me the permission to free myself and my family from unnecessary shackles. Jesus said, "For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." I owe unschooling a debt of gratitude, for it led me to my "little way of the fleur de lis".  My home is a domestic church, and our educational lifestyle is Catholic Natural Learning.

One Step

One step isn't the beginning of a journey if you keep one foot in the yard. You have to get away from the starting point completely.  --Sandra Dodd, "Just Add Light and Stir" blog


It's as if messages from the Holy Spirit just keep showing up in my inbox! Well, why not? Does this message mean I have to go out in the cold rain today? Our dog doesn't mind the weather. She just loves her walks! So yes, we'll get out and about at least to go around the block. Maybe we'll even walk to the grocery to get Daisy some dog treats! The lack of sunlight provides the perfect excuse to light candles. I'll begin the Luminous Mysteries of the Rosary with Beezy today. She loves being read to from the Bible. Her dad is at work, so it will be a quiet day, just the two of us; then I will venture out to teach my belly dance class this evening.

I don't think you have to travel to Paris to live the wildly rewarding life I wrote about yesterday (but I do intend to see Sacre Couer again, including the inside of the cathedral!). We must bloom where we are planted, as the saying goes. The adventurous life is more a spirit, a state of mind, a living by one's own lights. It's finding the magic in the ordinary. It's looking at where you live and seeing the beauty even in the shabby and rundown. It's suddenly noticing that a teddy bear was stuck into your bathrobe while you were typing your blog post!

I am telling you all this to remind myself, because it's so easy to forget. How typical to lament the chilly, rainy day and wish for warmth and sun. How radical and freeing to put on your wellies and look for puddles instead!!

ksfreeman.com

Pixar's "Brave" & the Mother-Daughter Relationship

Princess Merida

What sets this princess fairy tale apart from any others I can recall is the centrality of the mother-daughter relationship, as opposed to the usual princess-gets-her-true-love-in-the-end theme. In fact, in this story Queen Elinor, the young heroine Merida's mother, is as prominent a character as her daughter. Elinor is a loving mother and only wants what is best for her daughter, but in typical fashion, Merida has her own ideas for her future. While in America most young women don't have arranged marriages, the choosing of potentials suitors, and the timing of the marriage, is still the status quo in many cultures. So while this tale takes place in ancient Ireland or Scotland (the men wear kilts), it is not really an antiquated theme. And still prevalent even in America today are the pressures on young people by their parents in their choice of college major, career, lifestyle, family size, etc... Elinor's tendency to be harsh, critical, and demanding of her daughter, and her neglect to really listen to Merida, is a familiar issue. Of course, Merida doesn't listen very well to her mother, either!

One thing I liked about this film is that Merida is homeschooled; however, she is not so fond of her mother's choice of subjects--how to be a lady, how to speak properly, how to carry herself, what is expected of a princess, and the like. Merida wants to be off riding her horse, following will-o-the-wisps and having adventures. She is not interested in choosing a husband from among the eldest sons of neighboring tribes. She just isn't ready yet. And if there is one thing common to most children today, it is the state of being hurried. 

Merida has no respect for tradition or her mother's wisdom. Elinor has no interest in hearing about Merida's explorations and discoveries and finds no use in her talent with the bow and arrow. They do not see eye to eye, and neither accepts the other as she is. Each is bent on changing the other; each is stubborn in her own way. Unfortunately, Merida's willfulness leads her to a witch, and she asks for a spell that will change her destiny. She thinks changing her mother will produce that result, but horrifyingly, the consequence is that her mother is changed into a bear, the one creature Merida's father, King Fergus, is determined to kill in revenge for his lost leg. Well, I won't spoil the whole movie!

While Brave is not the best Pixar movie ever (that would be the Toy Story trilogy), it is outstanding for its focus on the healing of a mother-daughter relationship, where each learns to bend and honor the other's uniqueness and gifts. There is no betrothal to a prince, no adolescent kissing, no wicked stepmother jealous of the princess' youth and beauty; and miraculously, neither parent has died, and they are happily married! Queen Elinor even has a wonderful streak of grey (I mean silver) in her hair. Yes, I want to be Queen Elinor more than I want to be the young princess! When Elinor walks through a room, the dignity of her presence brings all male misbehavior to a halt. There was truly a time when men did not swear, get drunk, make dirty jokes, or brawl in the presence of women. They stood up when a woman entered the room. They removed their hats. They showed some respect. But we threw that all away for some twisted "equality" in which women get to act like men, a bizarre world where being a "lady" is obscene. But that's another topic for another time! Still, Elinor reminds us of something precious that has been lost, something of real value.

 Queen Elinor

Brave is solidly a very good family movie. I give it four stars. Younger children might be afraid of the scary bear (also a product of the witch's spell to change someone's destiny) but otherwise there is very little rude humor and nothing objectionable in my opinion. It is a film worth seeing and even worth contemplating a little deeper. What can we mothers learn from our daughters, not just what can they learn from us.

Self-Taught Swimming

Last evening Beezy, age 8, went down the big water slide at our public pool by herself for the first time! This is the first summer that she has been tall enough, but even though she met the height requirement this year, she still had to conquer her fear. I did not push. I have noticed that her progress in swimming has been very self-directed and self-initiated and find this to be fascinating. Is it a result of being homeschooled, perhaps? Beezy has many friends that she sees at the pool, but she is not really interested in socializing with them there. She has her own agenda. As long as she is polite, I allow her to do her own thing. She seems to be on an internal mission, and I respect that.


On her own she decided to learn to swim underwater, without plugging her nose. She figured out the breathing by herself. She is very into goggles, wanting to be able to look at things under the water. She can swim across a full length of one part of the pool. While she still wants a parent close by, she is not very keen on receiving advice. In fact, she will go under water so as not to hear it! But if I see something that she needs to do differently in order to achieve her own goal, I gently insist (that is to say, I persist) in sharing my helpful hints. For example, she was teaching herself to swim on her back, but I noticed her bottom was too low in the water, so I demonstrated a better posture and recommended kicking without bending the legs so much. She did follow my advice and improved her technique. It is not easy to keep from being invasive while at the same time providing a bit of helpful teaching! Then again, perhaps she would have figured it out eventually if left to her own devices...

We did pay for private swimming lessons a couple of summers ago, and then last year just built on that ourselves, in an informal manner. So I was surprised at how much she has progressed this year with hardly any adult interference. And we solved the big slide problem together last night. While I could not be standing right at the bottom of the slide, I could go up with her to alleviate her minor fear of heights (one I share, so it helped me too to have a hand to hold!). Then I went down first, so I could be right by the steps in case she needed me when she got to the bottom. Which she didn't. After four trips up and down I was done, and so I found another child, a couple of years older, to escort her. In the process of this new achievement, she also made a friend! The point to consider is that while I encouraged her in trying the slide, once she had expressed the interest, I left it up to her. I only provided a plan for conquering the fear. She did it when she was ready, and she consequently made an independent decision in her own education and interests, and she had a blast!

This is how kids can be. They still want their parents close by, but they want to figure some things out on their own. They don't want to be spoon fed. We let our babies make a mess while they learn to eat, don't we? It's the process, not the product, that matters in the end.

It's Detox Time!

If you are in tune with your body, you know the signs that a detoxification is in order. You are feeling tired, perhaps not sleeping well. This may be the result of too much caffeine, the physical illness of yourself or a child you are caring for in the night, insomnia (the infamous "monkey mind"), or just not going to bed early enough. Maybe the coffee is causing digestive issues, or maybe you just haven't been eating healthy enough--not enough whole foods and fresh fruits and vegetables. Get thyself to the farmers market! Maybe too much meat or processed foods are dragging you down. In my case, I injured my foot and haven't been able to be as active as usual, which is undoubtedly part of the lower energy equation.

If you are in a summer slump, then join me in a simple detox program for the next month. I'm beginning today with Yogi DeTox tea, a natural herbal supplement available at health food stores and on line at vitacost.com. Up to 10 tea bags can be used per day, every day for up to 30 days. The box says: "As everyday impurities find their way into our bodies, we may be left feeling tired or out of balance. Yogi DeTox is a gentle way to help the body cleanse itself by aiding the two primary filtering organs, the liver and kidneys. Our tea uses the time-honored purifying herbs Burdock and Organic Dandelion to support the liver. Juniper Berry aids kidney function. The traditional Ayurvedic cleansing blend called trikatu (Ginger, Black Pepper, and Long Pepper) aids blood flow, while Indian Sarsaparilla adds spicy flavor."

In addition to the tea, don't forget to drink plenty of water during these hot summer months. I am additionally cutting out refined, added sugars as much as possible from my diet. We all know that sugar prematurely ages us and causes inflammation that leads to disease. It also zaps our energy when we crash from a sugar high. With all of the family reunions, graduation parties, and weddings we attend in summer months, it can be hard to avoid the processed sweets. But we don't have to deprive ourselves entirely. Eat treats at those special events sparingly. When at home, choose natural sweeteners with health benefits such as honey, maple syrup and molasses, and those lower on the glycemic index, such as agave nectar. Cut the sugar in your recipes, and use raw instead of white whenever possible.

While you are cleansing your body, don't forget to purify your mind and spirit with yoga, prayer, meditation, and sacred scripture. Get out into nature rather than staying cooped up in the air conditioning, which does not allow your body the natural purification process of sweating. Even try fasting once a week, beginning with the practice typically used at Lent of eating only one full meal and two small ones, with no snacks in between. Skip meat, or dairy products if you are vegetarian, once a week. I am going to look into fasting practices and get back to that in another post.

Let me know how you are feeling during the detox process! Keep a journal and track what works to restore your body to balance and vitality. Remember, most of all, to breathe, fully filling the belly with each inhalation, and completely releasing on the exhale. Just breathe...