Back to Basics--Revisiting the Concept of Organic Mothering

Organic Mothering is both a parenting style and a philosophy of natural family living. It encompasses the tenets of attachment parenting, eating organic and locally grown food and other practices of sustainability, and homeschooling or other, alternative education choices that offer trust and freedom for children.

OM is a spiritual practice focusing on mindfulness and awakening to the authentic self. It honors nature and flows with the rhythm of the seasons. It embraces the wabi sabi elements of simplicity, imperfect beauty, and paring down life to what is essential.

OM creates space for a woman--and her husband and children--to breathe, to be present in the moment. It brings a sense of purpose and meaning to the activities of each day, facilitating in the creation and appreciation of Beauty and the fulfillment of the poetry that is Life. 


If you go back to the very first post on this blog, these are the words you will find. I had a vision for Organic Mothering, and as far as I am aware, I coined the term. It is used by others now, but when I initially searched to make sure I wasn't stealing anyone else's blog title or idea, I didn't find it anywhere. I'm pleased that it's a concept that has caught on and inspired many.

It's hard to believe that this blog has been going since 2011! Much has changed in my life since then, most notably that I am now Catholic. The sentence, OM is a spiritual practice focusing on mindfulness and awakening to the authentic self, strikes me as a bit New Age today. That isn't surprising, though. It reflects all of the self help study I did in my 20s, and that's okay. I still need to grow in the area of mindfulness, of being keenly aware of my words and actions. But increasingly that awareness is centered on the tenets of the Catholic Faith and the Church that Jesus founded. How well, or how poorly, I see Christ in each person is the ultimate litmus test of mindfulness.

What about the "authentic self"? In Simple Abundance, Sarah Ban Breathnach wrote that the authentic Self is "the soul made visible". The question currently is, is it well with my soul? Is the Holy Spirit living visibly in the depths of my heart? I read once in Carol Houselander's The Reed of God that as we grow in becoming more like Christ, our rough spots may actually appear worse, as they are juxtaposed against the blinding light of the life of God within us.  That's my paraphrase of what she wrote.

Since I joined the Catholic Church, my "cradle Catholic" husband has reverted to the Faith, a great miracle if ever there was one. Now we are a Catholic household, each of us working out our salvation, individually and together. My vocation as a wife is to get my husband to heaven; his is to get me to heaven; and ours is to get our child to heaven. Any notion of "organic mothering" now pivots around being Catholic.

Home-centered learning is about being Catholic. When my home education efforts revolve around teaching and experiencing the Faith, all goes well. When they don't, it doesn't. I am currently reading The Joyful Home Schooler by Mary Hood, Ph.D.  She points out that in the Bible, God admonishes parents to teach their children in the ways of the Lord and his Word. Nothing else. Hood is Christian but not Catholic, so of course she doesn't talk about the Magisterium of the Church. Religious differences aside, I love what she wrote. God has not directed us to focus on lesson plans or grade levels or to create a mini educational institution that mirrors the public schools. Though she doesn't use the term, what she is talking about is establishing in one's home a domestic church.

We do have a responsibility to equip our children with the knowledge and skills that they will need to make their own way in this world. However, academics must always be secondary. As we read stories from the Bible, study the Catechism, and learn about the saints; as we pray together and talk about our Faith; as my child is mindfully lead to become the person that God has created her to be; the reading, the math, and the writing will follow. Trust in the guidance of the Holy Spirit is paramount to anything that can rightly be called an education. There is no education without Jesus and his Church. It follows, then, that there is no real education in the public schools. Even if there is no choice but to send one's children to a public school, parents are still required to be their primary educators.

Getting back to the basics of organic mothering means going higher up and further into the Catholic Faith. It means that there is no separation between life, learning, and religion. As Charlotte Mason said, education is the handmaid of Religion. Along with flowing with the rhythm of the seasons, we follow the liturgical year. We gratefully care for all we have in stewardship to God. We behold the Incarnation and the image of Madonna and Child, of God become man, nurtured at the breast of Mary. What greater symbol of organic mothering could there be? What greater Beauty?

New Age Deception: Self-Help & Spirituality

Concurrent with the popularity of New Age religion in the '90s was the explosion of the self-help literary genre. My favorite self-help book was Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy by Sarah Ban Breathnach. Published in 1995, I consider this book a classic. Walk into any used book store today, and you will likely find a copy on the shelves. This is one of those books that seemed to serendipitously come into my life when I needed it. I can still remember turning around in the Barnes & Noble in Columbus and seeing a sea of these pinkish books on display. It was calling to me.

Simple Abundance contains a series of daily meditations revolving around the tenets of gratitude, simplicity, order, harmony, beauty and joy. It's the perfect example of combining the psychology of self-help with a personal, spiritual journey. A book written by a woman specifically for women. Full of practical advice on such matters as finding your personal style and clearing clutter, it is scattered with quotes from famous poets, actresses, writers, spiritual teachers and sages, from Colette to Bette Davis, from E.E. Cummings to Louisa May Alcott. The ultimate goal is to fuse style with Spirit and to unearth your "authentic self."

In Ban Breathnach's book, The authentic self is the Soul made visible. The pearls of wisdom contained in this book hit a chord with women everywhere, as the New York Times best seller list can attest. Her message, that you already have everything you really need, and the encouragement to pare down material possessions and discover true abundance in life through her six principles, was by and large a good and positive message. I recently discovered that poor financial choices (and marrying the wrong man) lead to Sarah losing everything. This woman who had earned millions with her message of simplicity had squandered her fortune and ended up sleeping on her sister's couch.

The problem with a book and plan like Sarah's is that it reflects the trend of the times toward a rejection of traditional religion and the embracing of "spirituality." People in the '90s were fond of saying, "I'm not religious, but I'm spiritual." (And they still are.) Everyone was obsessed with trying to figure out who they authentically were, but this quest was typically set upon without the centrality of Christ and without seeking God's will for your life. "Spirit" was not the Holy Spirit, but was similar to the idea of the "Universe", and you could place an order with the Universe or Spirit and manifest the life you desired. This idea has increasingly become more popular.

There was an innocence in this, and by and far the intentions of these self-help authors and the people who followed their ideas were good. The truth is the truth wherever it is found, and the Catholic Church teaches that Christians can learn from the good in other faiths. Yet after taking the path of Simple Abundance, Sarah herself wasn't satisfied, and so she wrote a sequel, Something More. I agreed with her that there was still something missing that needed to be found, but this 2nd book didn't have the appeal for me that the first one did, and the question of what that "something more" was never got answered. That is, until one day when someone very special invited me to the Catholic Church. But that's later on in the story...

Simple Abundance, in my opinion, isn't expressly New Age. But it contains that quality of sounding Christian but not quite. It's this not quite Christian, "universal spirituality" that has lead to dangerously leading souls astray.

Cultivating Your Signature Style

What made it possible for me to do my big wardrobe cleanse was first catching up on the laundry. Some things got packed away in the attic to wear for another season. Tons of items were given to charity.  A few were tucked away, but not too far, for being just a tad too small.

Only keep those pieces that you really like and feel great wearing, and that fit your lifestyle and body right now. This point bears repeating, because if you haven't whittled your wardrobe down to the clothes that you really need and actually do wear, you will have a difficult time discerning your personal style in order to shop wisely for additional items. If you have an item that you like but never wear, consider whether that is because you have nothing to wear with it, in which case you must remedy that situation, or because it really isn't "you".

What if, after you have purged your closet and dresser drawers, you find that you still literally have nothing to wear? You were probably keeping many things that didn't flatter your figure and that you didn't enjoy wearing, because you had nothing better. Now you fear that you will have to go naked. Non, ami. Keep a few presentable pieces, maybe 10 items and a few extras to get you by. Now here are some suggestions that will hopefully help:

1. Simple Abundance: This book, by Sarah Ban Breathnach, takes you through a whole year of unearthing your authentic self, in a series of daily meditations. I recommend this book to every woman. Go to the section where she talks about discovering your authentic, personal fashion style. You will find a goldmine of inspiration in this classic.

2. The Illustrated Discovery Journal: This is one of the tools Sarah Ban Breathnach suggests in Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy. First purchase an artist's sketchbook. Find a pair of scissors and some glue. Turn on soothing music and brew a cup of tea or your favorite drink. Make sure you won't be interrupted. Gather some magazines together that you have lying around, or ask a friend for those that she no longer wants. If you don't have any to use, buy a few current issues. I highly recommend People magazine's monthly Style Watch issue. This features real world, wearable trends in a broad range of prices. Slowly flip through the magazines in a meditative way, cutting out pictures that grab your attention as you go. Any image that stirs your imagination and makes you feel happy looking at it. When you have finished, arrange the images in your sketchbook. You might also clip out words or parts of articles, anything you see that speaks to you in a meaningful way. Set your finished work aside and look at it again later. Do you see a recurring theme? Do the hairstyles, makeup, and fashion you were drawn to resemble your current style?

3. Make a List: Being as specific as you can, make a list of your dream wardrobe. Note the color, fabric, shape, and details of the items you want, ie. boot cut blue jeans in a dark wash; low heeled leopard print dress pumps; a black leather motorcycle jacket; a long sleeved cashmere pullover sweater in pink, etc...

4. Window Shop: Make a trip to a department store and note which designers or labels strike your fancy. When I was shopping for my honeymoon, I discovered that I really liked INC (International Concepts). Once you have found those boutiques or department store lines that reflect your fashion sense and lifestyle, make those your go-to sources when you need something new. Another idea is to shop vintage boutiques, consignment shops, thrift stores, Etsy and Ebay to try to find those brands or similar styles. Take your time, check your budget, and when you are ready...

5. Plan Your Shopping Excursion: Perhaps take a friend along who understands the essential wardrobe concept to help you decide whether something looks good on you or not. Make sure you have eaten and are not tired. Bring snacks and a bottle of water with you, or plan a nice lunch into your day. Have your essential wardrobe list handy, and look for only those items. If you happen upon something not on your list that you just can't live without, and it will mix and match into your wardrobe, buy it. But keep your focus on those pieces that will build the foundation of your streamlined style.

6. Wear Only Your Best: Avoid keeping clothing that is past its prime. If it has holes in it, fits poorly, is ugly, is faded, or has lost its shape, don't wear it. Never tell yourself, I am only going to the grocery store, the playground, or whatever. Inevitably you will run into someone you know, and you will regret looking sloppy. Respect yourself and others with the quality of your appearance. I don't mean that you should wear a ball gown to buy deodorant, simply that one should look pulled together always.

Soon you will be on your way to a closet that makes you smile when you open it, and getting dressed each day will be a joy, something that motivates you to begin your day on the right foot. I promise, this will change your life!

Gratitude

For Christians the question isn't whether or not God exists or if Christ is Lord—the question is how deeply those truths change your life.

— from Tweet Inspiration


I think I need to go back to the practice of making a list of 5 things each day for which I am grateful. I learned about this idea of keeping a gratitude journal in Sarah Ban Breathnach's Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy. When thinking about the "wildly rewarding life," I asked myself whether my life might already be wildly rewarding, and I just fail to recognize it.

First of all, I can partake of Holy Communion for spiritual nourishment almost every day of the week, if I choose to go to daily Mass. To have the right to receive the real food of the body and blood of Christ as a Catholic is truly wild. Is there a greater gift than this? That God is my Father, Jesus is my Brother, and Mary is my spiritual Mother is amazing grace. Is there a higher reward than this?

It seems that we are trained by our consumerist society to always want more. If I had this thing or that, if this one aspect of life were different, then everything would be perfect. What if, instead, we allow what we have in this present moment to be enough? The birds and squirrels in the yard are enough. My husband, child, dog, home, car, and furniture are enough. I have enough clothes, enough food, enough money, and enough love. I am pretty enough, smart enough, strong enough, talented enough, funny enough, young enough, and my weight is just fine, whatever it happens to be. My friends and my town are enough. This blog is good enough. My homeschooling is good enough. I am enough. You are enough. And our God is an awesome God.

Tidal Learning

When I was researching unschooling, I discovered a mother who coined her own label, tidal learning, to describe what she does. She had noticed a certain ebb and flow in her homeschooling activities. Sometimes there was a lot of formal instruction and a set schedule, while other times, such as when a baby was born, life more resembled unschooling. I think that we all have high and low periods of activity. For example, in her book Simple Abundance, Sarah Ban Breathnach talks about the necessity of "filling the well" in order to stoke the creative fires. There are periods of seeming dormancy, followed by spurts of intense creativity. Without the low tide, there is no high tide.

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We have been sick at my house all week. When we're sick we need to rest. It's such a simple thing, but I think there is this fear of falling behind. We must consider that sometimes burning the candle at both ends is exactly what leads to injury or illness. If we don't hear the message to slow down, sometimes God will allow us to be in a situation that requires an abrupt stop. This happened to me years ago, when I was really tired and needed a break but did not take one. I got into a car accident and broke my knee cap. I wrote a lot of good poetry following that period.

Lately Beezy has been having an explosion into writing. She is really interested right now in learning to send text messages on the cell phone. Real life applications of writing are best for improving the skill. The more we read and write, the better readers and writers we become. I saw a love letter she wrote to our dog in the bathroom today, next to Daisy's bed. The desire to write is natural in a child who sees others writing and wishes to be able to communicate in this way. Beezy wants to spell words correctly, and she gets disappointed when she doesn't. I encourage her to just write as best she can. If she asks for help spelling a word, I give it to her; otherwise, I allow the inventive spelling that is natural to children who write words as they sound to them. When I was a Montessori teacher, a child wrote a story, and the last thing he wrote was, "C N". I puzzled over this, working it out in my mind, then smiled when it became obvious--"The End".

Learning happens all the time, even during sick days. Even when it looks like you are doing nothing. The seeds have been planted, but it takes time for the flowers to appear. And before the flowers come stems and leaves. After the bloom, flowers fade and fall off. Next year the process happens all over again. Look to the seasons, to the processes of Mother Nature, to understand that it is no different with us. When the moon calls, the tide rises. And when the time comes, the waters subside. Simple as that. Keep it simple.