Converting Your Husband with Your Behavior | Biblical Womanhood Series #3

I think that the sensibilities of modern women are offended, thanks to the insidious influence of feminism, by the idea that a wife's submission benefits her husband. This patriarchal structure oppresses women, they say, and does not allow women to develop themselves. Yet it's entirely biblical that a woman should happily submit to her husband, and that this benefits not only him, but herself as well. And with a careful reading of Scripture, we see the Beauty in God's ordered plan. Today we are looking at 1 Peter 3: 1-7, Catholic Confraternity Version. 

In like manner also let wives be subject to their husbands; so that even if any do not believe the word, they may without word be won through the behavior of their wives, observing reverently your chaste behavior. Let not theirs be the outward adornment of braiding the hair, or of wearing gold, or of putting on robes; but let it be the inner life of the heart, in the imperishableness of a quiet and gentle spirit, which is of great price in the sight of God. For in this manner in old times the holy women also who hoped in God adorned themelves, while being subject to their husbands. So Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. You are daughters of hers when you do what is right and fear no disturbance. 

At the beginning of this passage we see that some women will be married to unbelievers, so if you are one of those, take heart. God was and is thinking of you and is giving you guidance in a difficult situation. Even if you married a Christian man, he could lose his faith, or he could be lukewarm and fail to take his family to church or be the spiritual head of the home. Perhaps he has lost his way through an addiction, or he suffers physical disabilities or a mental illness that make it more likely that he will fall short in his vocation as husband and father. 

The way out--of what may seem unbearable and feel like hell--for the wife is not necessarily to divorce her husband (though of course in the case of abuse, women need to get to safety and seek help), but rather to offer her suffering up to God for the bestowal of grace upon her husband. There is purpose in suffering. We must unite our afflictions to those of Jesus on the cross and lay it all at his feet.

And as the Bible assures us, we may win our husbands to a conversion by our behavior, by imitating the holy women of old. If New Testament women were charged with being submissive to their husbands as Sara was to Abraham in the Old Testament, then surely this message is still relevant for us today; and we additionally have New Testament examples such as Mary, the Mother of Our Lord, to show us the way. 

In some translations the word conversation is used instead of behavior, and I think that guarding our tongues is key to our husbands viewing us with reverence. Chastising our husbands never results in a good outcome, and often doing so escalates a potentially volatile situation, causing serious and even irreparable harm. If we cultivate that pearl of great price, a quiet and gentle spirit, we will please God, which is the ultimate point. 

Sometimes when I'm angry with my husband, or feeling taken for granted and unappreciated, my spirit becomes rebellious. I want to go on strike as a wife and not do things for my husband, like his laundry. But then I tell myself that I'm doing it for Jesus, and that way I can do it with joy and not resentment. 

Earlier this week I wanted my husband to do something for me, but he said no, not today. He had too many things that needed to be done, like paying the bills, and he needed my help with our home-based business. I was tempted to argue, and even reasoned with him that the task would only take a couple minutes. Again he said no, it would take longer than that, and by his tone I understood that my requiring his help even with something I thought would be simple, on this particular day would cause him stress. I remembered about being submissive, and I accepted his authority. 

Submission has to become a habit if we women are to be happy in our marriages. Not only will it also make our husbands happy, it will be a sacrifice of immense value to God, and it will help to build up the whole Body of Christ, which is crumbling. What you do to help your husband get to Heaven with your authentic Christian femininity can lead him to be a better man, you to be a better woman, and repairs the Church in ways you may never know. But know without doubt that it does. 

As far as how we dress and style our hair, I don't think this passage suggests that we literally don't wear braids. One sermon I heard online talked about how the pagan women of ancient Greece wore such elaborate braids that they looked like Medusa. So likely the message is to focus on our inward Beauty and keep our outward adornment modest and simple. In other words, don't try to look like the Kardashians, and don't act in worldly ways. 

Husbands, in like manner dwell with your wives considerately, paying honor to the woman as to the weaker vessel, and as co-heir of the grace of life, that your prayers be not hindered. 

It is fine for a wife to gently remind her husband of his duty to her, and how he is to treat her. However, we must not do it with rebuke, treating him like a naughty child. I think it's also interesting that being the weaker vessel is put forth as a reason to honor the woman. Feminism, conversely, teaches that women are no different than men (and transgenderism has followed as a logical conclusion!), and that we should be offended at the suggestion that we are the weaker sex in any way. Personally, I am relieved that I am designed to be weaker than my husband, and I admire his physical strength and applaud him for it! 

It's clear as well that Christianity teaches that women are equal in dignity to men, equal children of God, made in his image and likeness. This was a radical view in those times. And that last admonition to husbands, that your prayers be not hindered, makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. A husband who fails in his duty to his wife and who does not love her in the proper manner (we will see that it is indeed sacrificial love he is called to in another passage) will not have his prayers heard or answered. God will turn a deaf ear to such a man. The wife's submissive, gentle spirit will help to safeguard her husband from damnation. 

Women, allow your husbands to lead even if you don't think they do a stellar job at it. Allow them to provide for you and your children. Stop emasculating them with your harsh tongues and rebelliousness. Get out of their way and let them step up to the plate. Even if they fail, serve them as you would serve Jesus. We can find rest in our biblical womanhood, fearing no disturbance. 

Additional Note: 

Though divorce is strongly discouraged in the Catholic Church, allowance is made in canon law for physical separation, and even divorce, in certain cases. Future posts will explore the idea of mutual submission and the conditions under which it may be necessary for a husband and wife to separate for a period of time. 

The Ides of the March

Let me say upfront that I'm feeling very clever about the title of this post right now! I rarely write about politics or current news events, but I realize that I have a responsibility to do so. Organic Mothering typically receives 7,000 to 9,000 views per month, and while I'm sure that's nothing compared to Matt Walsh's stats, it's nothing to sneeze at either.

God gave me both an opinionated personality and a gift with words. I owe it to Him to stop being so quiet about things that really matter, and to start doing what he created me to do. I have realized lately how much my need for other people's approval has dampened my spirit, to the point that I actually checked a book out of the library called Approval Addiction. In our current liberal, severely left-wing, socialist culture (which is truly the hallmark of Barack Obama's legacy), if one is not a perfect parrot of political correctness, one is booed, hissed, and stoned to death. It's actually deliciously rebellious to be a traditional American and Christian right now, not to mention a pro-life woman. When I was a teenager, my dad told me that my big mouth would get me in trouble some day. I sincerely hope he's right!

So on to this "women's march". I was at my grandma's on Sunday to celebrate her 89th birthday. I don't have TV reception at my house, so I normally would not have seen anything of the march's shenanigans. Thanks be to God that while Grandma's TV was turned on, the sound was off. And thank goodness it was a spring-like day and my 12-year-old daughter was playing outside much of the time, because I wouldn't have been prepared for the rated-R program happening on CNN. 

It looked like Ashley Judd was rapping, so on Monday I just had to find the youtube video. She recited a slam poem written by a 19-year-old that sounded like it was written by a 19-year-old. So painfully awful, both content-wise and artistically, it literally made me cry. Madonna's dancing had been cut off by commercials, so I wanted to see that and hear her sing. What she said, her singing voice, even the dancing--a train wreck from every angle. Both of these ladies spouted virtually nothing but obscenity and low-brow entertainment. What valid claims of injustice against women these celebrities might have made were drowned out in vulgarity and crude images. Scarlett Johansson's lackluster defense (and what other kind of defense could there be?) of Planned Parenthood belied the general ignorance regarding this institution begun by Margaret Sanger, a woman whose most ardent desire was to use abortion to eradicate the black race from the face of the earth. And let's not pretend that that's no longer part of the agenda. Incidentally, Live Action revealed proof just today that Planned Parenthood does not in reality offer prenatal care, as insisted by its president, Cecil Richards--a married woman who aborted her 4th baby simply because she thought three children was enough. 


Some pictures and stories of the spectacle that I saw--"pussy hats", vagina costumes, acts of aggression, lewd signs, mostly naked bodies--it all adds up to childishness, indecency, social dysfunction and depravity. What a lost opportunity to forward the legitimate needs and issues of women! But we have to keep in mind that many of these women, especially the young, have simply been misguided and deceived. They sincerely believe the propaganda. They need to know the truth, and we women and men of grace are called upon to give it to them. We need to respectfully listen to their side of things, and then as kindly as possible guide them in the right direction.

This march was advertised as a support for women's issues--a thinly veiled deception, as the agenda was clearly an anti-Trump, anti-democracy, pro-abortion, pro-nasty-woman rally. A pro-life feminist group originally allowed co-sponsorship of the march was kicked to the curb, so clearly this event was not intended to support the interests and concerns of all women. The human rights of unborn females, the most marginalized and vulnerable of all, were not given a voice. No matter how you frame the picture, it's hypocrisy at its best. 

Well, we have another march coming up this Friday, January 27--the annual March for Life. I for one can't wait to witness the contrast between this march and the march madness (I did it again!) of three days ago. We have seen the pitiful desperation and phony "revolution of love" that we are dealing with. In two days they will see what real women look like and how they behave. 

That is, if the mainstream media covers it. But considering that they have consistently failed to do so year after year, I'm not betting on it. The March for Life is of similar size and scope, in D.C., nationwide and worldwide, as the so-called women's march, but I'd bet you my house that it won't get the same all-day, all-night coverage. You can watch live streaming of the March for Life at www.ewtn.com.

Dear readers, let's flood social media with the March for Life. Fill every crevice you can with notices that this is happening. Link to every online article and video you can get your hands on to show as many people as possible that the pro-life movement is a force to be reckoned with. We must be silent no longer. Be charitable with your foes, but don't be afraid to be loud. Don't mince words. Call a spade a spade. This is a spiritual battle, and Satan is the sponsor of the mayhem--the malevolent spirit behind that abominable march, Planned Parenthood, and the false representation of the dignity of women. This is not the time for diplomacy. You might even say this is war. 

There is hope. I heard just today that the House of Representatives has passed the motion to make permanent the Hyde Amendment. So we have our first pro-life victory of this new administration. We will celebrate every achievement great or small. We know that Justice will win in the end, that the Immaculate Heart of Mary will triumph. Let's make the time now. 

Contemplating a Protective Bubble

Father's homily today was a message I really needed to hear. Unfortunately, my ability to hear was hindered by unhappy young children behind me. But fortunately, Father is plugged in, and his normal speaking voice is very strong. It occurs to me just now that my experience at Mass this morning is a metaphor for being distracted from my spiritual path. There is dissonance all around us, and sometimes it is a strain to hear God's voice. We have to focus very hard, or we might miss something crucial.

In the Gospel reading today we find Jesus' enigmatic insistence that Christians must be willing to hate their families and relinquish worldly possessions to follow him. Is the word "hate" what he really meant, or is this a case of inadequate translation from Greek into English? Father's interpretation, as well as I could hear, was that we are not necessarily being called to give up everything we own or to forsake all of our relatives, but that we may be required to give up some of our possessions, or certain people in our lives.

Being a disciple of Jesus comes first, before anything or anyone else. That is the crux of the message. The question is, what are we willing to do, or to do without, in order to follow him? In a book I am reading by an American woman who has been living in Paris with her French husband for 30 years, the author says that the French have the ability to experience joie de vivre even in suffering. They live life fully and passionately, not shying away from controversy, pain, or uncomfortable events or feelings. I imagine that this has something to do with the fact that France is a traditionally Catholic country.

On my own journey to the Church, I learned that suffering is not an experience to be avoided. We don't go out and look for trouble, but if trouble comes into our lives, we are provided a way to work through it. We can offer our suffering up for a blessing on another who is in need, and we can unite our own suffering to Jesus' on the cross. My suffering can help someone else, and if I allow it to, it can purify me. But I must also welcome God's healing graces into my life and not wallow in grief. Jesus didn't stay on the cross forever, and neither should we.

All Christians are called to die to ourselves, but we aren't all called to be literal martyrs. I would also argue that figurative martyrdom isn't always necessary. In fact, if my ability to do the work God has called me, and only me, to do, is hindered by a person, an object, an institution, or an activity, then that "offending arm" needs to be cut off. Saying no to the invitation to walk on hot coals can be more difficult than walking barefoot across the fire. The devil does tempt us, every day. If we take our eyes off the ball even for a moment, the whole game could be lost.

It is my duty as a Christian parent to do everything in my power to get my child to heaven. The Church teaches that the education of a child is primarily the responsibility of his parents. Not his school teacher, Sunday school teacher, or religious education teacher, but his mother and father. Furthermore, a curriculum that is not permeated with the faith is not considered to be a valid education. At one point in history, public schooling did not separate children from their families for such long periods of time or conflict so acutely with Christian values as it does today. As it now stands, my husband pointed out, sending children to school is destabilizing to family life. Homeschooling is one remedy for these social and spiritual ills.

Being a homeschooling parent is a divine calling. It is something I am willing to defend with bared fangs if necessary. But mostly I wish to evangelize through my own example, with information for anyone who is genuinely interested in learning more about it, and by spreading positive messages to the community about this overwhelmingly successful educational option. In every area, I want to evangelize with passion and respect, not worrying over what anyone else thinks or says. Sometimes I fail to give myself permission to live in a Catholic bubble when that is what is necessary to keep my eyes on the prize.

Our children may not always understand when we have to say "no" in order to protect them. We have to teach them good and appropriate values, attitudes, and conduct. Each Christian parent is on his or her own leg of the journey. In order to protect our children, we may need to be vigilant in protecting ourselves from debilitating outside influences. One mom is tough as nails and criticism slides off her like water off a duck's back. Another is very sensitive, whether it be to words, images, negative energy, or loud noises. We have to know ourselves well, be very familiar with our strengths and weaknesses. One dad can invite a bear into his home, feed him honey, and send him on his way. Another will wrestle the bear and lose, or walk away alive but severely injured. Also, where we're at on the path changes over time. As I grow spiritually, I am hopeful that I will be able to detach with more finesse. Right now, however, it seems that I need to learn to pull that Catholic bubble around me and not allow anyone to pop it. Life is too short, and it's too exhausting to fight when it isn't absolutely necessary. As the saying goes, choose your battles wisely.

Prayer to Our Lady of Victory

O sweet and gentle Lady, Immaculate Mother of God, we beg you to be our Mother now and all the days of our life. Shield us Mother Mary with your holy mantle that nothing of the enemy could harm or molest us. Ask your Son, Our Lord Jesus Christ, to spare us from any calamities that will cause our life misery. Pray for us that we may lead a life pleasing to Him, and when our end comes present us to Him, and may we live in His kingdom forever and ever, Amen. Our Lady of Victory, please pray for us.