Is Conservative Media the Answer?

I've had enough time on the free speech (viz. conservative) social media platforms, Gab and CloutHub, to form something of an opinion in answer to this post's title question, is conservative media the answer? The best I can give you is a wishy-washy probably not. 

First, the pros. I don't spend anywhere near the time on these two platforms as I once did just on Facebook. This is primarily because I don't know anyone on them personally! Alas, none of my Facebook friends have come to find me in either place. I have, however, joined some groups, and that has been a fine experience. The first one I joined was the #WalkAway Campaign, which was the reason I signed up for CloutHub. Speaking of which...

I found out only Friday that on Monday, Brandon Straka was arrested in connection with the Jan. 6 storming of the Capitol. That's a whole other story, but one thing I heard was that some of the "evidence" against him included comments he made on YouTube, and it was a family member who turned him in. Statements made to Fox News also got him in trouble. So this kind of leads into a related question, as to whether anyone is actually safe using any kind of online media. 

We can find safer options, such as email and internet servers that block ads, don't share your info, and protect your privacy. We can choose social media platforms like Gab that are entirely self-owned and don't censor or fact-check you or spy on what you're doing other places on the web. So you could say that leaving Big Tech and switching to safer options is something of a solution. 

However, if the Leftist mob can shut you down, they will. They are going after the high profile people who have had a strong influence against them first, like poor Brandon. I believe they will eventually fry as many of the smaller fish as they can as well. Unless the whole scheme blows up in their face, which I think is a reasonably likely outcome. I have no doubt that they will start eating each other before it's all said and done. 

Right now I'm leaning toward the conclusion that social media is a plain old bad idea. It's a distraction, an addiction, and largely a waste of time. Following the news, whether it's the big Democrat controlled conglomeration or smaller, more sane alternatives, typically does nothing for one's mental health. Is the solution to cut back, to be very picky about who and how much you read and listen to, or would it be best to cut it all out of your life as entirely as you can? I find that most of my attempts at moderation fail. Once I get started consuming, it's a giant, rolling snowball. I suppose the first step is admitting you have a problem, so I'm probably ahead of the pack by virtue of simply asking these questions. 

What about you? Are you still slogging your way through fruitless sessions on Twitter and Facebook? Have you discovered some better options, but perhaps find them only minimally satisfying? Does viewing the news make you crazy? So then you turn to a Netflix or Hulu binge for escape? 

Where does it all end??? There must be a better way to live. No, I don't necessarily think that getting 100% off the internet is the answer. My family depends on it for a large part of our income, so we must have it. In our personal lives, though, I really don't think it would be hard to live without it. Because I'm old enough that I have. I like blogging, which by now is pretty much old school. I enjoy a TV series now and then. I have been in this place before, and I feel stuck. What changes should be made, and how, if I'm going to live a life around the three themes of this blog for 2021?

I think that wiping the slate clean first would be a feasible approach. Cut it all out and then decide on what, very specifically, to let back in, and how much time to allow for it. For Lent, beginning in 17 days, I could give up all internet but blogging (say, a maximum of once per week), what is needed for work and homeschooling, using the library catalogue online, and a daily, one-hour limit for TV (including YouTube). But no news on any forum and no social media. Okay, I'm going to sleep on that, and then I will proceed to share with you how I'm preparing for Lent and this working plan. I might even give up coffee too, if I'm feeling particularly ascetic!!

Soul Searching

A situation occurred in one of my Facebook groups which required me to reactivate. I'll reflect on that in a moment. One good thing about being back "on" was that a friend had been looking for me, and we had a nice chat. She relayed how she had struggled with Facebook herself and found a solution by unfollowing most of her friends. So there is another suggestion for simplifying the process. You can still be active on social media, but you can take control of what you see. I don't personally know this awesome woman, but she is a fellow Catholic, and she told me that she has been doing a lot of soul searching. I'm right there with her.

Pope Francis is visiting the United States right now for the first time in his life. And this morning he addressed a joint session of Congress, the first pope in history ever to do so. I was in my car trying to catch his speech on the radio, but the reception wasn't great, and combined with his accent, he was difficult to understand. I'm certain it will be available to listen to or watch another time. I decided to focus as much as I could on Francis' voice, on his tone, even more than on what he was actually saying. I noticed how slowly he spoke, with such care. And although they were supposed to hold their applause, his audience members could not contain themselves. From what I heard afterward, politicians from both sides of the aisle were very moved. Francis wants America to become a land of dreams once again.

Indeed. My country seems a long way from the land of the free and the home of the brave that she once was. The small town I live in provides little opportunity for gainful employment. Many empty store fronts line its main street. People here are very brave. They try to get a restaurant, or a boutique, or an arts center going. It's discouraging to see these efforts take off, then struggle, then ultimately fail. And some people are very, very sensitive to any criticism of the village. How can we form a vision for where we wish the community to go if we refuse to see the truth? The run down houses, the drunks, the meth labs, the abused and neglected children, the profanity heard loudly on the streets. The pope sees all of it and shines a spotlight on the stark realities.

So the moderator I put in charge of one of my groups while I was taking a hiatus from Facebook voiced a concern regarding two girls she personally knew who had broken an arm during recess at school, both within a week. This was in fact the third girl she knew that this had happened to at the same school, and while the discussion was going on, she found out about two more broken bone incidents since the last two. One happened on the way to school, and the other occurred while a child was playing near the school on the weekend. While my friend acknowledged that these events could certainly all have been a bad luck coincidence, it seemed very odd in such a small town. She wanted to know if others might have some insight into the situation.

This moderator simply questioned whether the recess accidents might have occurred due to insufficient supervision. She also shared her experience as a teacher. Most group members were polite, but a couple attacked her and accused her of bashing the school. Absolutely no one consented that it was even a remote possibility that the kids aren't being watched well enough on the playground.

This is a little thing compared to abortion, war, terrorism, and hunger, but bear with me. These angry folks want to censor others who say anything they don't like. They jump all over anyone who brings a problem into focus. I won't allow the censorship. I won't allow bullying. And even if not a single soul sees things one person's way, that doesn't mean that person is wrong. It isn't wrong to question, to be concerned, to hold our public servants accountable. It's perfectly okay, and even necessary, to keep a watch on those local institutions to which our taxpayer dollars go. If we can't be realistic about one little town, if we can't have civilized conversations and disagreements on social media, if all we want is to have perfume blown up our you-know-whats, then how on earth can we be effective as a citizenry when it comes to monumental national issues?

People don't want honesty and sincerity anymore, unless you are singing a Snow White happy song surrounded by turtledoves. But the Christian Faith is the narrow road. It ain't gonna make you popular to sound your horn of justice. To say, hey look, there's an ogre living next door who tears babies apart and eats them for breakfast! (And sells the leftovers for profit.)

I was amazed that during the recent GOP debate, the topic of education was not addressed at all, except for a brief mention by one candidate, in a tone of disdain, that another was a fan of Common Core. The unconstitutional, federal Department of Education and its liberty robbing agenda needs to be faced like a fearless bullfighter against a brutal beast. I hope the next president has a red cape and a spine to drape it across.

Expect me to be even more frank than usual. My soul is melancholy. My heart hurts. The evil in the world is overwhelming. Jesus didn't pussy foot around. He was kind, healing, humble, loving, and compassionate. He also turned over the market tables in the Temple. He broke man's laws when they were not in harmony with God's. He did not mince words or endeavor to be politically correct or falsely diplomatic. His own hometown people tried to throw him off a cliff. Luckily I live in a very flat land.

Simplify, Simplify, Simplify.

A popular slogan used in 12 Step groups is keep it simple. This is great in theory, and so many of us would love to simplify our lives, but we don't know how. Recently I've taken some steps that have made a difference, so I'll share them with you.

I went through my email inbox and removed myself from several mailing lists. So my first tip is, unsubscribe. If a blog sends you notifications of new posts too often, it can be overwhelming, and you may feel obligated to read each post. So you keep them in your inbox to read later, and soon you have several accumulated messages. If you really love the blog, you will go there without reminders. Jennifer Scott posts to "The Daily Connoisseur" every Monday, so I visit her blog each week without being notified. I only post here at Organic Mothering 2 or 3 times a month, so I promise not to clog your inbox if you do wish to follow me via email!

One of my biggest hassles was an overabundance of emails, with numerous attachments on each, that I received several times a week from the Catholic school where Beezy takes a la carte art and gym classes. It suddenly occurred to me to ask the principal to take me off the list. I told her it would be fine to send a paper copy of the weekly newsletter home with my child, and that would serve our purposes. I am now receiving hardly any email messages at all, and it's wonderful!

You can do the same thing with paper magazines. If you don't absolutely adore the publication, cancel the subscription, or do not renew it when it runs out. I have so many magazines that have accumulated in my home that it's difficult to know where to begin, but I am paring them down. Donate old issues to a thrift store or to your local library. Make sure that you also deal with snail mail immediately. File any bills and recycle the junk. Do not allow piles to grow.

I deactivated my primary Facebook account. A couple of years ago I had deleted it altogether, but after my grandma died last year, I wanted to be able to stay in touch with family members. That has been a great thing, but to be honest, most of what I see in the newsfeed is uninteresting. Not the personal stuff, but all of the "cute" animal videos, asinine memes, and general nonsense. It's too easy to get sucked in and waste valuable time. There is also the issue of being offended by what someone wrote, or feeling obligated to respond to someone else's offense over something I've posted. It's just not worth the stress. Real life throws enough curve balls at us, like when I was at the park yesterday and desperately needed to use the restroom. It was locked up for "painting," though I saw no signs of painters. Then when I hurried to the outhouse, I discovered it was out of toilet paper. Thanks be to God that I noticed this before I went ahead with my business. We don't need Facebook on top of daily life. Really.

I do still have a pseudonym FB account in order to remain active in a particular group that is important to me. Even here, I find myself getting too caught up in my advocacy for Charlotte Mason homeschooling and spending too much time thinking about what to share and how to get others involved in edifying conversation. The idea of letting go of my "baby" is almost unthinkable. But I'm thinking about it. I have caught myself designing posts in my mind, and this can become habitual. I know you know what I mean. This is no way to live.

So there you go! Consider just one thing that you can do today to simplify your life.

Replacing Toxicity with Privacy and Manners

In France it is necessary, at the very least, to greet people with a polite, "Bonjour."  Bonjour Madame or Bonjour Monsieur is preferable. When I went to Paris with my parents on the State Farm trip my dad had won with his awesomeness, the company coached us on some basic French words and phrases. We should not expect the French to respond well to our presumption that they should speak in English. It was crucial that we show respect by attempting to speak their language, even if poorly. A simple bonjour would go a long way. And you know what? I did not experience the supposed rudeness of the French on our trip. In fact, in one store I visited on the Champs Elysses, I was greeted with, "Oh, I like you!" Yes, it was a man.

I know many people in the U.S. who have lovely manners. They say, "Good morning," and enquire about my well being. They say please and thank you. They write real letters and wrap presents with care. When they come to stay at my home, they bring me a hostess gift. Then there is everyone else. There is a gross absence of manners and decorum in modern society, most especially in regard to internet and cell phone communication. Case in point. I recently posted a link to favorable homeschooling statistics on my Facebook wall. As anyone who homeschools knows, we need all the encouragement we can get, and it is imperative to celebrate our freedom, our successes, the joie de vivre of this lifestyle.

A cousin wrote a very lengthy response which was in no way rude or disrespectful, yet it opened the door to disagreement. This is not necessarily a bad thing. But there was no indication in her post that she personally knew me, that we were actually related. No warmth, not even a simple greeting to indicate that we were both persons. While I was cordial, my response was likewise impersonal, taking my cue from her. I missed an opportunity to role model good manners. Internet conversations can easily get messy because they intrinsically lack tone. One must be very careful to remember that the person on the other end is breathing. My cousin's father joined the conversation, making it clear that he did indeed know me, but with no trace of evidence that I am a person for whom he cares. Facebook has ruined our relationship. But does it have to be that way? Might a simple return to manners solve much of the problem?

Seeing that, as usual, a civil, respectful conversation was not to be had, I chose to set a boundary and clearly state that the conversation would not continue on my personal space. That boundary was not respected. I felt that my serenity was at stake, but also that I was at risk for sinking to a lower level than befits the person of class and grace that I aspire to be. If your heart is pounding in your chest and your stomach is churning when you are in the presence of a person or during whatever type of communication, and this is a recurring incidence, it is time to clean house. This is toxic. It is clutter. It is so not la joie de vivre.

Being polite and having manners does not mean being a doormat! It does not mean shying away from expressing yourself. Do you have a deep-seated need to be liked by everyone, to have everyone's constant approval? It will not happen, no matter what. Let go of trying to fix things over which you have no control. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting different results. You can count on people to be exactly who they are.

You have a right to privacy. You have the right to decline an invitation to ride the crazy-making merry-go-round. Just say no as kindly as you can. Non, merci. There is no room in my life for frenemies. The time wasted on that long winded FB conversation can never be retrieved. It ruined my digestion of an excellent dinner. The next time you feel yourself drawn into drama, ask yourself what you could be doing instead. Perhaps savoring a piece of dark chocolate, dancing with your child, making love, baking bread, making art. Praying, singing, writing a letter to your best friend. Let us endeavor to always be exquisite in our manners and to never, ever be gauche. Only hang clean laundry on the line, and don't let anyone with messy hands into your yard. We can love people without allowing them to leave buffalo chips on our property. After all, you are a woman, or a man, of repose.

Unschooling Principles

"The principles of unschooling are that humans are born learners. That children will learn best when given the freedom to learn what, when and how they want.

That doesn't, of course, tell anyone what to do. Principles are what help us decide which choices support our philosophy and which choices run counter to it.

Some people hear the unschooling principles and see them as limiting, as preventing them from doing what they feel is best or want to do and equate that with being closed-minded. But we all have guiding principles that limit our choices to the choices that we feel are right. If we didn't have principles it would be okay to shoot our neighbor for running his table saw at 6AM on Saturdays! But we voluntarily limit our choices of solutions to that problem because we recognize that some of them violate our principles. (Or values or ethics or philosophy or get in the way of our goals in life.)"   --from the blog, Joyfully Rejoicing

 making "grass angels"

It looks like anything you might want to know about unschooling, and any question you might have, is covered at Joyfully Rejoicing. I recommend just looking at a few tidbits at a time and letting the unschooling philosophy slowly sink in.  The above explanation was an "aha" moment for me.  I was indeed feeling that some unschoolers are closed-minded and not thinking for themselves, just parroting someone else's ideas about unschooling. They seem rigid rather than joyful, refusing to continue going deeper, which defeats the whole point.

Dayna Martin actually covers this in her Radical Unschooling book as part of the journey in understanding the process. Some people may get stuck in that rigid spot and get discouraged, even give up on the whole idea. And unfortunately their policing may adversely affect others.  Dayna commented on the Whole Life Unschooling Facebook group that there is no such thing as "fully RU".  We are always on the journey, and it will look different for every family.

Radical unschoolers live by principles rather than rules, but there will likely be specific rules which naturally follow from one's principles. The principle of respect for one's environment as well as considerations of safety lead to a "no running in the house" rule in my home.  The extension of unschooling principles in education to all other areas of life means respecting the wants, needs, and personhood of children within each family's individual principles. Gentleness is an overriding goal. We don't want to be constantly questioning whether every little thing we say and do is "RU" (Radical Unschooling). That would not be authentic parenting.

If I say that we are Catholic unschoolers in my family, that means that the Faith not only permeates educational considerations, but that it informs every area of life. And it means that our Catholicism is radical, or "from the root".  We can be radical unschoolers, because this means that we follow unschooling principles within the peaceful borders (my designation for limits or boundaries) of our Faith.  It could even be argued that the moniker "radical" is redundant, because it is already implied by the label of Catholic unschooling. In fact, catholic literally means "universal".  Our definition of Truth and Freedom may be different from other radical unschoolers, but the point is living joyfully and in respectful partnership with our children according to our Truth, not someone else's.  It means living in Freedom by our own lights, shining within the brighter light of Christ.

Allowing Others Their Joy

May is one of the traditional months in which the Catholic Church especially honors the Virgin Mary. Recently on the homeschooling blog of another Catholic mother, the author invited readers to honor Mary on social media and gave permission to use her posts. One of these I shared on my Facebook wall shows a picture of a man praying before a statue of Mary, and the caption reads, "Ad Jesum Per Mariam." I translated the Latin phrase at the top of my post, "To Jesus through Mary!" This is an expression of my joy. Mary invited me to the Catholic Church, the very Church founded by her son, Jesus. She has sustained me through her intercession and spiritual presence in times of trouble and distress. Most importantly, she led this once lukewarm Protestant back to Jesus, and my Christian faith is stronger than it has ever been in my life. I owe this Holy Woman an undying debt of gratitude.

Unfortunately, a Facebook friend commented in a way that robbed me of my joy. I should not have allowed her to affect my feelings in this way, but the good that has come of it is that I have been meditating on the importance of allowing other people to express their joy, to not intentionally rain on their parade. I don't know what the exact intentions of this person were, so I am trying not to judge her. She implied in her comment on my FB wall that it is better to go to Jesus directly than through Mary, and she ended with, "Can I get an amen?" I felt like she was inviting others to gang up on me. This will hopefully help me to endeavor to follow the Golden Rule when using social media myself. To add insult to injury, two of my other friends "liked" her comment. What good can come of being a killjoy? Is the desire to be "right" worth the expense of alienating a friend?

Now, having been Protestant all my life until my forties, I understand that most Protestants are ignorant of the truth of Catholic teachings. They believe the errors and lies they have heard. (For that matter, many Catholics received poor catechesis and do not know their own faith well.)  It would have been fine to comment with something like, "I prefer to go directly to Jesus," thus opening up respectful dialog. Catholics are not required to go to Jesus through Mary, but there is a long tradition teaching that Mary IS the most direct route to Jesus. It is not a suggestion to worship Mary, but to allow her to be our spiritual mother, to ask for her prayers, instruction, and guidance, and to follow her pious example of discipleship.

This post is not intended to give an exegesis on Marian devotion, however. I don't care to argue theology. I care to argue for respect, sensitivity, and the withholding of unnecessary criticism and inflammatory comments, for the sake of true friendship and Christian unity. Especially if we don't know anything about the subject, and even if we do, it is often best to keep our opinions to ourselves, humbly seeking to understand through the Holy Spirit, leaning not unto your own understanding.

I saw a Facebook friend's joyful post about gains made toward "marriage equality" in the U.S.  I don't believe that gay people can be married under the definition of what marriage is, but I saw no reason to kill her joy, or to try to get others to back up my viewpoint on her personal space. I was also caught off guard seeing young girls wearing heavy makeup on posts from dance recitals, but again, these mothers were sharing their joy and pride in their children. And I understand that under certain circumstances makeup is part of the costuming.

So before you assume you understand and jump to bring someone down, think. Have a heart with Jesus living in it. We don't always have to share in the joy of others, but we have no right to burst the joyous bubble of our brothers and sisters on Earth and in Christ.